10 films worth watching this week on TV

Grabbers   Sat   28/4   RTE2 @ 21.35

Residents of an island off the west coast of Ireland find themselves under attack by man eating aliens. They devise a very Irish way to defend themselves. Similar to Tremors, in that it's a great mix of laughs and scares and gooey bits plus it has characters you don't want to see ending up as monster munch. Ruth Bradley as the Garda in charge leads a nice cast of familiar faces.

Horns   Sat   28/4   Film4 @ 23.05

One morning a young man wakes up with horns growing from his head and the ability to get people to admit their darkest secrets. Daniel Radcliffe shakes off his Harry Potter persona to star in this gory and surreal tale that will upset you in places and make you snort laughing in others. A genuine oddity of a film but one thats both original and interesting. Juno Temple James Remar & Kathleen Quinlan all shine in supporting roles.

Run And Jump   Sun   29/4   RTE2 @ 00.40

Vanetia is an Irish woman struggling to look after her family after her husband Conor has had a stroke. An american medical researcher comes to stay with them to study his behaviour and him and Vanetia become close. A nice little drama about family dynamics, dysfunction and understanding. Maxine Peake in the lead role is as always superb and Will Forte as the yank plays a fine part.

Filth   Sun   29/4   Film4 @ 23.35

Bruce Robertson is a cop in Edinburgh. He's as dodgy as they come. An utter scumbag. A drug and sex addict who'll stab anyone in the back to get his way. And yet...... A tour de force performance from James McAvoy carries this extremely dark but very entertaining film from the pen of Irvine Welsh. Be warned, some will find this film quite offensive. Jamie Bell, Kate Dickie and Eddie Marsan are all excellent in support.

Cool Hand Luke   Mon   30/4   TCM @ 21.00

Luke is a young man from the south with a serious attitude problem. He winds up in jail and realises that attitude is going to cause him a lot of problems. An honest to goodness classic and one of the films that made Paul Newman a star. Packed full of classic moments and dialogue that you will recognise even if you havent seen the movie. Newman in the lead is a star and George Kennedy as a fellow inmate is just awesome.

A Dangerous Method   Mon   30/4   TG4 @ 21.30

David Cronenberg steps away from the body horror he built his career on with this story of a woman who finds herself hospitalised and under the care of not just Sigmund Freud but also Carl Jung. An intriguing and well acted (ok in places its quite OTT) film that gives us some insight into the birth of psychoanalysis. Keira Knightley, Michael Fassbender and Viggo Mortensen all do solid work as the leads.

Stoker   Tues   1/5   Film4 @ 23.20

After her father dies, a young woman and her mother are visited by an uncle they never knew existed. Slowly she begins to realise all isn't what it seems. Mia Wasikowska is great as the lead in a slow burn thriller that breaks free of it's Hitchcockian roots to become something very compelling, lurid, darkly funny and quite unique. Matthew Goode is good as the mysterious man and Nicole Kidman gives solid backup.

Evil Dead 2   Wed   2/5   Syfy @ 22.00

Ash Williams returns to the cabin in the woods in this brilliant sequel that is probably the most fun horror film ever made. A group of friends on a holiday find an ancient book and make the mistake of reading from it. Bedlam ensues. Director Sam Raimi delivers an amazingly inventive film that mixes the slapstick of Looney Tunes cartoons with gallons of blood and the end result just rocks. Bruce Campbell greatest role.

Psycho II   Thurs   3/5   The Horror Channel @ 22.45

Norman Bates is released from prison 20 years after his original murder spree. He's determined to be a good boy this time around. But weird things keep happening. OK bare with me. This sequel to the 1960 classic is actually a cracking watch and far far better than it has any right to be. It's clever, twisted and surprisingly sympathetic to it's main character. Anthony Perkins in the lead nails it and Vera Miles makes a fun reappearance too. 

The Grey   Fri   4/5   CH4 @ Midnight

A planeful of oil refinery workers crashes in the Alaska wilderness and the survivors realise that cold, exposure and hunger are the least of their problems. The best film of the recent Liam Neeson resurgence by far. This is a mature, well acted and quite frankly terrifying thriller that pin you to your chair. Neeson is spot on in the lead and gets fine back up from Frank Grillo and Dallas Roberts.

Avengers : Infinity War

Thanos is a fierce briary fella altogether

It's hard to believe there was once a time when films made by Marvel Studios didn't exist. It was a simpler time, a time of Bebo and Blackberry phones and Nelly Furtado. People like to moan about them but they are here to stay now. They are a pop culture phenomenon and an odd one at that. It's very unusual that a series of films actually improves as more are made. The vast majority of franchises decline in quality but Marvel are breaking the mould, in part by embracing the inherent silliness of it all. Superhero films are supposed to be fun and Marvel are realising this in spades. Look at the most recent ones. Ant-Man, Civil War, Spiderman : Home Coming and Thor : Ragnarok, each more entertaining than the last.

Which brings us to Avengers : Infinity War.

Thanos is slowly collecting Infinity stones from all around the Universe. Once he has all six he will have the power to decimate life on every planet. After escaping from a deadly encounter with him, Bruce Banner returns to Earth and warns the remaining Avengers of his existence, not knowing what has happened in his absence. Meanwhile Peter Quill and his Guardians Of The Galaxy are on the way to a distress signal in the vast depths of space.

This rocked. I really enjoyed it. A bloated and slightly dull mid section aside it just hit that spot perfectly. It's easily the best of all the 3 Avengers film so far. After 10 years of films we know the characters intimately and require none of the introductions or explanations that slowed down the first Avengers film. The seriousness of Age Of Ultron has also been done away with and lessons learned from the dull big bad as well. Yes Thanos is a CGI baddie but Josh Brolin makes him genuinely terrifying and when you learn the true extent of his plans......well he makes all other Marvel baddies look like Gargamel from the smurfs. Crap bad guys have always been the weak point of this franchise and finally we get one who actually gives us a real sense of danger and a feeling that not all of our favourite heroes will see the end credits. These are some of the biggest stakes we've seen so far and it gets dark. But not all dark.

It's fun. Oh man it's fun. The introduction of the Guardians of the Galaxy is a masterstroke. The strange pairings of characters, the extreme clash of personalities and some serious misunderstandings lead to some of the best belly laughs in the series so far. Animal species mistakes, pissy teenage trees, an ego that gets extremely bruised after an encounter with a quote "Pirate Angel", a royal prank, an extremely talkative character rendered speechless by some outer space stupidity and much more. One small Edinburgh based sight gag gave me a nice little giggle too. Oh and a very funny bit of stunt casting is just perfect. The vast majority of the fun comes from the Guardians characters but it's the Guardians stuff that gives the film it's biggest problem too.

The mid section of the film sees our heroes dispatched all around the galaxy to find various people and solve various problems. Here the film feels like it changes from an Avengers film into something different. It's just all a bit dull and slow and dark and instead of spending time with people we've grown to know over 8 films we're with characters we don't know as well. Their screentime feels a bit unearned and comes at the cost of lesser time spent with characters like Steve Rogers or Black Widow. In a film with this many characters some were bound to get short shrift and it's a surprise it was them. Thankfully all the dullness is blown away by an extended climax that's genuinely worth waiting for. Truly epic chaos ensues and some seriously game changing moments occur. It's goose bump inducing stuff.

These films have been accused of lacking soul but that's a bullshit cop out. A lot of emotionally charged stuff occurs here and only a misery wouldn't be moved. A young man clinging to a friend, a tearful destruction, a long overdue hug between old buddies, the tears of a father, dust. Of course this stuff only works because the cast are selling it so well. There isn't a weak link in the film and considering there are 20 plus characters vying for attention that's no mean feat. The stands outs for me were Elizabeth Olsen as Wanda, Robert Downey Jr as Tony Stark (this surprised me as I usually can't hack this character) and Josh Brolin as Thanos. Brolin especially really sells his character but all three are required to do some genuinely heavy lifting. 

A few issues aside, this is a thoroughly entertaining blend of insane action, great laughs and fantastic special effects all held together by a massive cast giving their all. If you enjoyed the other films in the franchise you'll probably love this one. Oh, make sure you stay til the end of the credits too. I cannot wait to see what happens in part two of this story.

The Leisure Seeker

The Leisure Seeker is one of those films that goes against all expectations of it's trailer. The trailer I watched a few weeks back portrays a very different film to the film I watched yesterday. TBH I wish the film I was expecting had appeared. Not that this was bad at all but just....well I'd feel better.

Ella and John Spencer are an elderly couple who decide to take their motor home south along the East coast of America to visit the home of Ernest Hemingway in the Florida Keys. Ella and John are also very sick, Ella physically and John mentally. They are two people who are not in good shape and the idea of them heading off on holiday has their grown up children terrified but Ella insists all is well.

I liked this and found it was better than poor reviews online have made it out to be. It's always a joy watching two old pro's like Helen Mirren and Donald Sutherland plying their trade and when you put them together sparks fly. This is a hard film to talk about without going into spoilers but it's a story that will hit home hard for a lot of people. Actors like Mirren and Sutherland have been around for so long it feels like we know them and seeing them in pain is tough to watch. There's a lot of shitty things about being an adult but the shittiest thing is watching your parents getting older if you are lucky enough to still have them. The aging process is a bastard and the toll it takes on the body and mind is a tough one to watch. It's not all grim thankfully and there's some gentle comedy here which helps make everything slightly more palatable. Some of it works (any scene with their shotgun) and some of it doesn't (any scene of their children) but it makes the medicine go down easier.

On the surface there's not much depth here but it's there. Early in the film a snippet of famous dialogue from Donald Trump is heard and it weighs heavily over the film. Sickness and frailty in this stands for the death and decay of the American dream. Make America Great Again rallies are juxtaposed with failing state facilities and younger people displaying a fundamental lack of respect for the generation that made them. What was once admired is now laughed at. The baby boomers who turned the country into such a success are fading away and whats left is a over-commercialised unfriendly mess.

Mirren as Ella,as always, does great work but Donald Sutherland as John steals the film. His mental health has turned him childlike and forgetful but in his lucid moments he's a joy, recalling his former life as a teacher and waxing lyrical on his beloved Hemingway to who ever will listen. These moments have us the audience looking through Ella's eyes, loving John when he's in great form and getting frustrated when his condition robs him from us again. Sutherland is 83 now and I hope we see work of this calibre from him for a while yet.

If you are looking for something other than the crash bang wallop of CGI infused blockbusters you won't go wrong with this but just......be prepared.

Airplane! A perfect pairing of sound & vision.

Films spoofing the famous dance scenes from Saturday Night Fever are ten a penny but this moment from Airplane did it first and did it brilliantly. From the moment a girl scouts head bounces off the jukebox setting off the song 'Staying Alive' and that crusty old sailor's juddery entrance onto the dancefloor it's just perfect. 3 minutes of comedy that in 38 years has rarely been bettered. There's so many jokes coming at you that it doesn't matter if they don't all stick cos there'll be one along in 4 seconds that will. The bemused reaction to a pinch request. The little whee's!! The stab dance. How blindingly stupid Ted's uniform whites look in that bar. It all just works so well with a Barry Gibb falsetto blaring over it. 

Unlike a lot of musical sequences in films this one actually moves the story forward too. Well actually no, it can't move a story forward because it's a flashback but it does add depth. The first encounter of Ted and Elaine. Love at first sight. It's the funniest meet cute ever. Her beautiful smile and his Travolta/Russian dancing. A match made in heaven.



Perfection.

Previous scenes

Dazed And Confused  
Kickboxer                                  
Grosse Point Blank
Mean Streets
Watership Down
Casablanca
Zodiac
Jackie Brown
The Good, The Bad And The Ugly
Deliverance
The Omen
Copland
Buffy The Vampire Slayer
The Mission
Before Sunset
Carlito's Way
A Knight's Tale
Platoon
Before Sunrise
Rushmore
An American Werewolf In London
Dazed And Confused
Boogie Nights
Raging Bull
Almost Famous
Once Upon A Time In The West
Goodfellas
Last Of The Mohicans

Wildling

A man called Daddy lives in a house in the woods with his daughter Anna. She never leaves the house and the outside is alien to her. As she grows Daddy teaches her of a world that's dark and filled with danger. She grows up knowing only his world view. In his own bizarre way he means well but it's clear that he isn't telling her the real truth. Then one day when she's a teenager he puts a gun in his mouth and Anna soon finds out what the real world is all about.

I love going into a film cold. I love having no idea what's going to happen. In this age of non stop spoilers it's a rare treat. Five minutes into this I was guessing at the ending and I couldn't have been more wrong about it. It's great when a story leaves you second guessing it's every twist and turn and uses your previous knowledge and expectations of other genre films against you. It makes for a satisfying watch. Wildling is a fine little film that takes, what in clunkier hands would be a hoary and cliched tale, and with judicious application of good writing and a fine cast turns it into a compelling watch full of metaphor and meaning.

Horror like comedy is at its best when you actually give a shit about the characters onscreen. Here Bel Powley as Anna gives us a lead character you'll empathise with instantly. A wide eyed innocent suddenly thrust into a whole new world of experience and sensation. Bel's a teenager too and wants to do what teenagers do which leads her into trouble not surprisingly. She hooks us into her story and gives such a good performance that it helps the film stay grounded even when things start going a bit off the wall as the story progresses. She was fantastic in Diary Of A Teenage Girl in 2015 and this film shows that's she not just good but has super range as well.

The film builds it's own little mythology in a clever way. One hinted at earlier and fully explained later. It takes turns you might find it a bit silly but if you can look past it you'll see all manner of deeper meanings hinted at. The establishment's fear of women, specifically female sexuality and empowerment. Rules men use to keep people down. Our fear of the unknown. It all adds a lovely bit of depth to what some may see as a slight tale. It's one of my favourite things about genre movies actually. So many of them are written in an allegorical way and use their stories to convey important themes in a manner that isn't rubbed in your face but leaves you to use your head and tease out hidden meanings. Us viewers appreciate that and it's why horror stays evergreen in terms of popularity

As mentioned Bel Powley in the lead is great but the supporting cast do very well indeed. Brad Dourif as Daddy is one of those actors who I have a instant emotional reaction to. In the likes of Deadwood and One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest my heart broke for him and in the Chucky films or Lord Of The Rings he instantly triggered disgust. Here is performance hovers between the two and as usual he plays it perfectly. Liv Tyler as Sheriff Ellen holds her own too as the straight face of the film. Tyler's career of late has taken a rather interesting turn. As she's matured her left field choices like this or TV's The Leftovers have taken her down an interesting path and I'm looking forward to what she does next.

If this is playing in the cinema near you it's well worth going to see. It's a clever and intelligent take on an old story and one that will linger in the mind. Go fast though, it won't be around long.

10 films on TV worth watching

Ragtime   Sat   21/4   TG4 @ 21.30

The story of a young black pianist intertwines with others in high society New York in the early 20th century. Directed by Milos Forman who sadly passed away this week, this is an excellent but sadly overlooked glimpse at life in an tumultuous and racist time in American history. The cast is amazing with too many to name but Elizabeth McGovern & Howard Rollins Jr stand out & James Cagney appears in his final role.

Crank : High Voltage   Sat   21/4   ITV4 @ 23.25

Chev Chelios is on the move again in this insane sequel to the 2006 hit. His heart has been stolen(?!!) and only regular jolts of electricity are keeping him alive. Can he stay going long enough to get revenge? This film is absolutely unhinged and definitely not for the faint hearted. Jason Statham has a ball in the lead role and Amy Smart & Dwight Yoakam in support just about manage to keep up with him

The Gift   Sun   22/4   RTE2 @ 00.10

Simon and Robin are a married couple living the good life until a chance encounter with a face from the past turns everything upside done for them. A slowburn but tense and gripping thriller with a genuinely unsettling denouement, this is the kind of movie that will rattle around your head for days afterwards. Starring Rebecca Hall, Jason Bateman and Joel Edgerton (who also wrote and directed it) this one is really worth a watch.

Grave Of The Fireflies   Sun   22/4   Film4 @ 01.00

World War 2 is coming to a close and 2 siblings, Seita and Setsuko who live in Kobe, Japan find themselves alone and hungry after U.S forces firebomb their city. This animated story is in my opinion the best and most effective anti war film you will ever see. It's a masterpiece that will kick you in the heart and pretty much ruin your day. Don't let that stop you watching though because it really is something special.

Easy A   Sun   22/4   CH4 @ 23.00

A clean cut goodie two shoes decides to spread lies about herself in school to get a reputation. She enjoys her new found notoriety until...... The film that made Emma Stone a star. She's just perfect in this, natural, sensitive, fragile and at times flat out hilarious. Stanley Tucci & Patricia Clarkson are  magic as her parents too. A very entertaining film that will make you so happy you aren't in school anymore.

Hyena   Tues   24/4   Film4 @ 23.35

When circumstances force a change, a crooked London cop finds his life getting very very complicated. On both sides of the law. This 2014 thriller is a good one and full of nerve jangling tension but it's also scaldingly horrible and hard to watch in places. One scene in particular is very disturbing so take heed of this warning. Seriously. Peter Ferdinando, Myanna Buring and Stephen Graham all put in solid performances.

The Adventures Of Sherlock Holmes   Wed   25/4   TCM @ 13.30

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson are visited by a mysterious woman bearing a mysterious drawing. Could an old nemesis be behind it all. This film is 79 years old and still manages to be far better than any modern reiteration of the famous story by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. A really fun, intriguing and atmospheric tale carried by 3 superb showings from Basil Rathbone, Ida Lupino and Nigel Bruce.

Never Been Kissed   Thur   26/4   Film4 @ 18.55

A geeky journalist excitedly goes back to high-school to do an undercover story and finds herself with a chance to re-do her teenage years but bad memories of the past resurface. One of the many many teenfilms released in the late 90's and one of the best of the lot ( the best is 10 Things I Hate About You). Definitely the sweetest anyway. Drew Barrymore is just captivating in this lovely, cringe making, sad and funny film

Tropic Thunder   Fri   27/4   BBC1 @ 23.50

Whilst in the midst of making a war film on location in Vietnam a group of egotistical actors find themselves fighting for their lives when they inadvertently cross a vicious gang of heroin producers. Can their training save them? A big silly noisy star stuffed comedy that's perfect for a Friday evening. It's overlong and indulgent but you will laugh at this one. Tom Cruise and Robert Downey Jr are the stand outs here.

Little Miss Sunshine   Fri   27/4   RTE1 @ 23.55

A delight of a film about a troubled family driving across America so their daughter can take part in one of those godawfully creepy American child beauty pageants. Cracking cast in this with the adorable Abigail Breslin in the lead and Toni Collette on fire as her mother. Both Alan Arkin (brilliant) & Steve Carell (playing very much against type) steal the film though. You'll laugh and cry at this one.

The moments that never get old - The German bar scene from X-Men : First Class

The best scene in the entire X-Men saga and a brilliant piece of revenge fantasy all rolled into one. A moment you'd never tire of watching.

Eric Lehnsherr is a mutant with the ability to telepathically control magnetic fields but also a Jewish man hunting down the nazi's who played a part in the death of his mother and the destruction of his people in the death camps. In this scene he finds himself in Argentina, a country known to be housing Germans on the run from justice after World War 2. He's looking for Klaus Schmidt, the man who personally killed his mother but any nazi will do and when he walks into a bar serving deutsche bier you just know things aren't going to end well.



It's a perfectly paced moment. The tension slowly being ratcheted up by the music and the growing suspicion that this stranger isn't just here for a sup. The not so subtle anti-semitism in the pig farmer lie. The growing sense of menace at the mention of his parents.The reveal of the concentration camp tattoo and the ultimate insult of attacking a Jewish man with a hitler youth knife. Then the moment Lehnsherr becomes Magneto and unleashes his powers in a very satisfying way. Cos let's be honest, seeing nazi's die is always satisfying.

This is also the moment Michael Fassbender cements his status as the main attraction of the new breed of X-Men films. No one else comes near. Even the fact that he can't contain his Irish accent near the end all adds to the moment. This is my favourite comic book film moment this century. 

Now I need to watch the film again. Shit.

Fatal Deviation - The only Irish action film you'll ever need.

A woman working in a shop is being harassed by two scumbags. She's just trying to stack her bottles of Crisp & Dry and packets of Inversoft and they are thrashing the place. Then out of nowhere a big mystery chap turns up and saves the day by destroying the crotch of one and frightening the life out of the other. He's her hero. But who is he? What's going on? 

The shop is Londis. 
The place is Trim in County Meath. 
The man is Jimmy Bennett and he's back in his hometown for revenge. 
Jimmy's here to kick ass and chew bubblegum.

And he's all out of bubblegum.

Jimmy Bennett is a man out for blood. His hometown is under the sway of a drug kingpin called Loughlan who along with his son Mikey and swathes of henchman have people living in fear . Loughlan is also the man responsible for the tragic direction Jimmy's life has taken. Jimmy wants him dead but things are complicated by a local beauty, a mystic monk and a dangerous fighting tournament called Bealtaine. Can he get revenge? Can he get the girl?? Can he possibly pull his jeans up any higher???

Fatal Deviation rocks. It is the perfect beer and takeaway movie. It takes a cliched action story and splashes it with Smithwicks, Tayto's, words no one outside the country will be able to pronounce and a scene that would have been rejected from Father Ted for being too out there. It's Ireland's most underappreciated film and a very rare Irish action film. Taffin is up there in the fun stakes but for sheer entertainment value this one can't be topped. It's not a film for everyone though. If you take your film watching any bit seriously at all you'll have trouble with this. But if you can just let yourself go with it you'll have a whale of a time. You see, it's not a good film, in fact it's pretty far from it but vitally it's one that tries to be. It's my favourite thing about it. It's sincere. It's heartfelt. That's why it will always be better than wannabe cult films like Sharknado or (groan) Wolfcop. These are cynical exercises. Films that set out to be bad on purpose. Feck that. It's soulmate is Tommy Wiseau's 2004 classic The Room. Another film that didn't turn out exactly as it's creator envisioned but one that its maker put his heart and soul into. 

Jimmy Bennett is played by James P. Bennett. I don't know much about the man but it's quite obvious he's a Van Damme fan. Especially early Van Damme. We get full on nods to Kickboxer & Bloodsport here and one entire scene from Hard Target is ripped off wholesale. Emoting isn't his strongpoint but he has a great physicality and looks believable kicking/shooting the shit out of baddies. James has been grafting away in Hollywood for years and finally his persistence is paying off. In 2013 he played a small role in The Lone Ranger and in 2018 he's appearing in not one but two Jean Claude Van Damme films and one Steven Seagal film. Fair fucks to him. Mikey Graham (YES HIM!) as bad guy Mikey plays a fun part. Once again he isn't exactly the most commanding actor but he gets a couple of menacing moments and brings a scummy jackeen sensibility to the role. Nicole O'Sullivan and Michael Regan round out the cast as Nicola and Loughlan. Like the others Nicole isn't one bit convincing but adds a touch of glamour to proceedings. She's like Katherine Hepburn beside Regan though. His performance is astounding.......ly bad. It's the stuff of legends, the stuff cult movies are made of and some of his lines will be in your head for weeks to come after seeing him.

Fatal Deviation may be an ultra low budget film but it's never a boring one. We get car chases and car crashes, motorbike mayhem, shoot outs, bar fights, a full on martial arts fight to the death tournament and much more. There's never more than a few minutes between fight scenes and interesting stylistic choices liven up any lulls in the action. A bumper car ride that looks like a ropey acid trip, black and white/sepia toned flashbacks that fill in Jimmy's backstory and of course the naked cowboy bathtub scene ( Don't ask, just watch) all ensure you'll keep watching and laughing. Honestly, it's more entertaining and more charming than a lot of the big budget bilge pumped out these days.

The dialogue is a joy. "What's this? Beat up my men week?" "Fuck you and your gun ya prick." & "YOU MADE ME LOOK BAD....AND THAT'S NOT GOOD!" It's the gift that keep on giving.  Then moments of unintentional hilarity like Jimmy walking through the woods ninja style or the fella that gets genuinely injured falling off a foot high wall (listen to his groan, that's no acting) will fold you double with laughter. It's just non stop entertainment. All this and it's a love letter to the martial arts cinema that proliferated in Hollywood in of the late 80's and early 90's. The training montages, the touches of mysticism and the asian themed music. Men of a certain age will get a kick out of all this but there's something here for everyone.

The best way to watch this is with friends and under the influence of something intoxicating. My most memorable viewing of it was in a Limerick pub that was organised by @PaulEyezOnMe and watched in the company of none other than former Munster & Ireland hooker Jerry Flannery. That was a surreal night. Fatal Deviation is 20 years old this year. In fact the 20th anniversary of the Bealtaine festival is soon so it's the perfect time to revisit this or watch it for the first time. But how can you watch this? Well dear friends, I'm looking out for ye all. Just scroll down and watch this in all it's glory right here.

Enjoy.

P.S. Keep watching during the credits.

Truth Or Dare

I went to the cinema today intending to finally see Isle Of Dogs but got my times mixed up so decided on Truth Or Dare instead. Sometimes you stumble across a masterpiece by mistake. You sit down to watch a film you know nothing about and it turns out to be fantastic. It's a lovely surprise when it happens and a genuine pleasure discovering a film you know you'll watch repeatedly in the future.

None of those last 3 lines apply here sadly. Truth Or Dare was shit.

6 friends go on their final year Spring Break to Mexico. On the last night one of them, Olivia, gets them all invited to a party in a decrepit old convent by a bloke she's just met. They play truth or dare and when they get home they find that, somehow the game and all it's ramifications has followed them home.

It's never good when a film peaks in it's first 2 minutes. Truth Or Dare opens with a panicky scene in a convenience stores that immediately grips you in a "what the hell is going on?" way but sadly it's all down hill from there. It's premise is intriguing. Tell your deepest secrets to the people you love or you will die, but it's totally wasted. It's populated with the type of rich spoiled beautiful people you can't make a connection with ensuring you don't care what happens to them and the type of horror tropes and cliches that were old hat in the 1980's. The characters slot perfectly into the types you always see in these films too. The good girl, the tramp, the jock, the token minority character. And they all die in exactly the order you'd expect too and sadly they don't even get a gooey demise to you to laugh/shudder at.

The PG-13 rating in America has a lot of answer for. It's a rating that allows children under 13 to go see a film as long as their parents are with them. Movie studios love it. All those families and all the money they can make off them. Because of this a lot of films that are pretty unsuitable for kids are made with this rating in mind. Thrillers get their edges rounded off, love stories are shorn of love scenes and horror films are churned out tame and anaemic. Truth Or Dare is one such casualty of this money making exercise. It's a film that's as tame and toothless as they come. Had the filmmakers been allowed to go all out with the premise this could have been fun like the Final Destination movies. The joy in that series wasn't the characters but the tension in seeing what bizarrely bloody ending they had in store for them. This approach would have made this far more enjoyable. But one early pool table moment aside this film takes the wimpy way out whenever possible.

The cast are entirely unmemorable too. Lucy Hale in the lead stands out only because she gets more screentime than the rest. The others might as well be an amorphous grey blob in the background, the blokes especially considering I had trouble with telling 3 of them apart. You also get the sense the story was made up as it went along instead of working from a fully formed story. Later scenes of the movie betraying its own internal logic seen to confirm this turning a boring film into a disjointed mess. It does one thing I appreciated though. It doesn't rely on cheap jump scares and loud noises. This is something that plagues modern horror and nothing makes me roll my eyes faster. Had this approach been welded to a better story we could have been on to something but sadly we'll never know.

Save your money. This will be on netflix within 6 months.

Barry Shabaka Henley. Another unsung hero of cinema and TV

Look at that face. That hangdog expression. The "I've had it up to hear with your shite" glint in his eye. A perfect look for a character actor and Barry is a perfect character actor.  Never the lead role and always playing a certain type of role but always doing it more memorably than the stars of the film.He's someone you'd recognise from the background of dozens of TV shows and films over the last 25 years. He's an actor who didn't get his start until he was nearly 40 showing that there's hope for us all yet. He's like a big teddy bear you'd be afraid to turn your back on if you've seen his dark side onscreen. Plus anyone who takes their name from an ancient Pharaoh is cool in my book.

He's been a muse to director Michael Mann. Been father to the most famous boxer in the world. Played more senior police officers than we've had hot dinners. Been both a prison guard and a prison inmate. Played a friendly airport worker in Steven Spielberg's most sickly and saccharine film. Got kicked in the face by Jackie Chan and shot in the head by Tom Cruise. Taken on demons with Denzel Washington. He's been headmaster to a Stephen King creation and been a doctor who sadly treated Tina Turner's many injuries. The man has done everything, Sci-fi, horror, war, drama, action, comedy, thriller and probably every cop show in the last 2 decades. At the moment he's gracing our small screens in Amazon TV's magnificent show Bosch. Check out his career here

Greatest hits

Ali - Herbert Muhammad. The manager of Cassius Clay turned Muhammad Ali. A steady shoulder for a man caught in the limelight and one who takes no shit from anyone.

Collateral - Daniel. The Jazz musician who jammed with all the greats. Only appears in one scene before he gets turned into ketchup by 3 bullets but what a scene it is.

Bosch - Terry Drake. An LAPD detective who's friendly and droll exterior masks a rather sinister side. A great role in a great show.

Previous heroes

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10 films worth watching on TV this week

Big Game   Sat   14/4   CH4 @ 23.15

A young Finnish boy gets more than he bargained for when he comes across a downed plane one day as he is out hunting. This film is so much fun. Yeah, it's over the top and outright ridiculous in places but if you let yourself go with it you'll have a great laugh. Onni Tommila as the young chap is fine but Samuel L. Jackson and Ray Stevenson have a whale of a time

The Sea   Sun   15/4   RTE2 @ 00.50

Following the death of his wife, a grieving husband returns to the seaside town in Wexford where he spent his childhood summers in an attempt to find some kind of peace. The always reliable Ciaran Hinds is superb in the lead role of this touching and profound drama about the effects of grief and loss. It might be too slow moving for some but if you stick with it you'll be rewarded. Sinead Cusack, Charlotte Rampling and Natasha McElhone all ace it.

The Homesman   Sun   15/4  BBC2 @ 22.20

Two people, a man and a woman escort three women in need of help across the country. A harsh and starkly realistic depiction of how life was for women during the pioneering days of the American west. This is a dark stuff, and thankfully shot through with a vein of darker comedy and carried by some excellent acting from Hilary Swank and Tommy Lee Jones ( who also directed it ). Really worth a watch but make sure you are in the right mood for it.

Out Of The Furnace   Mon   16/4   CH4 @ 00.05

Living in America's Rust Belt is tough and two brothers dream of getting away from the misery but cruelly life always manages to get in the way of the best laid plan. Christian Bale and Casey Affleck make for a cracking pair of leads in this tough and violent thriller about a side of the American dream that rarely makes it to the big screen. Zoe Saldana and an evil Woody Harrelson round out a superb cast.

Monsieur Lazhar   Mon   16/4   Film4 @ 01.45

After tragedy strikes a Montreal school, an Algerian teacher named Monsieur Lazhar is hired to filled a vacancy. There's more to him than meets the eye though. A truly lovely movie and a deeply humane one that manages to be topical at the same time. It probably will upset you but this is really worth throwing in the planner. God only knows why it's on so late. Mohamed Saïd Fellag and Sophie Nélisse are aces.

Escape From New York   Tues   17/4   Syfy @ 21.00

Manhattan in the future is a walled off and scary place as Snake Plissken finds out when he's tasked to get in there and rescue the President who's plane has crashed. John Carpenter's cult thriller is a magnificent piece of escapism and while it may be dated ( the future is 2001) it's still brilliant fun and has a mighty cast including Kurt Russell, Adrienne Barbeau, Donald Pleasance and Lee Van Cleef who are all on form.

Trainwreck   Wed   18/4   RTE2 @ 21.00

A woman grows up taking the advice of her father far too literally and while she enjoys herself in the short term, she starts to wonder if listening to him has effected her life negatively. Amy Schumer is a super lead in this overlong but very entertaining comedy drama about taking stock of things and taking responsibility. Brie Larson, Bill Hader and John Cena all provide good back up and plenty of laughs.

Intruders   Wed   18/4   Film4 @ 23.35

Anna suffers from agoraphobia and lives in her childhood home. 3 men break in looking to ransack the place and due to her condition she can't run for help. The 3 then slowly realise they've made a big mistake. This is an effective, efficient and well acted thriller that despite going a bit off the rails at times is well worth a watch. Beth Riesgraf in the lead is one to watch in the future.

Turbo Kid   Fri   20/4   The Horror Channel @ 21.00

It's 9pm friday night so it's post apocalyptic thriller time! The Kid is a comic book obsessed scavenger in a desolate wasteland who much step up and fight evil when the time comes. A hilariously gory homage to the sci-fi flicks of the 1980's and one that's bursting with spirit and invention. If you can get past the blood and guts you'll really enjoy yourself. Munro Chambers as the kid is solid & Michael Ironside as always is a fantastic baddie.

Almost Famous   Fri/Sat   20/4   RTE2 @01.05

A young wannabe rock journalist blags his way into a concert to write an article about a rock band and soon finds himself very out of his depth. A masterpiece and probably my favourite movie of this century. Cameron Crowe's 70's set comedy drama is a glorious evocation of the period filled with unreal music and acting. Patrick Fugit plays the lead but Frances McDormand and Kate Hudson own the film.