October 31, 2020

16 films on TV this week to help you forget about everything for a while

Blockers   Sat   31/10   CH4 @ 21.00

Three teenage girls are off to prom and they've made a pact to lose their virginity. When their parents find out they set out to stop that happening by any means. One of 2018's biggest surprises, a film full of the crudity you'd expect but one that also manages to be very sweet and heartfelt too. Leslie Mann, John Cena, Gideon Adlon and Geraldine Viswanathan all have a whale of a time here. Watch out for the funniest eye contact scene ever.

Make Up   Sat   31/10   BBC2 @ 21.45

In a caravan site along the wild and wintry Cornish coast an obsession bursts into bloom when a teenage girl on holiday with her fella discovers something that kicks jealousy and suspicion into overdrive. This 2019 drama/chiller is an unusual watch with a pace that may be offputting to some but stick with it for a truly disorientating watch that will get under your skin. Molly Windsor is a very interesting lead.

Dark Lies The Island   Sat   31/10   RTE1 @ 22.30

The Mannions run the lakeside town of Dromord and they all hate each other. A hate that leads to all manner of nefarious goings on. A hate that leads to a dark night of the soul for many of the townspeople. This Irish comedy thriller is as black as they come, scathing, biting, nasty but also in places hilarious. It's not fully successful but it's worth your time. Peter Coonan, Pat Shortt and Tommy Tiernan all nail their parts.

Halloween   Sat   31/10   Film4 @ 22.45

Michael Myers has escaped the pyschiatric hospital he's spent his life in and he's heading home to finish what he started as a child. Laurie Strode is a babysitter who's night is about to get scary. John Carpenter's best known film is still a brilliantly effective watch 42 years after it's release. There's some serious suspense and some very effective scares here but not the need to rub your face in blood and guts. Jamie Lee Curtis nails the part of Laurie, modern horror cinema's first scream queen.

Our Little Sister   Sun   1/11   BBC2 @ 01.00

In the Japanese city of Kamakura three sisters live in the house where their parents abandoned them years before. One day they learn about another member of their family and invite her into their lives. A tender and humane look into the societal mores of Japanese culture and one that eschews easy melodrama and forced tension for something much more satisfying. Suzu Hirose and Haruka Ayase are excellent.

Bend Of The River   Sun   1/11   ITV4 @ 14.00

The second collaboration between James Stewart and director Anthony Mann is a majestic watch. An oft told tale of simple homesteaders being harassed by landowners but one that's kept fresh by authentic acting, action and scenery. Plus it's always fun to see an actor with a screen persona like Stewart play someone ruthless and it all plays out in glorious Technicolor too. A nice rainy Sunday afternoon film.

Blue Velvet   Sun   1/11   Film4 @ 22.45

Jeffrey makes a strange discovery one day and his investigation makes him realise that there's something very odd going on behind the white picket fences of the small town he calls home. David Lynch's deep dive into the darker side of small town life is a stunner. Packed with terrifying performances and moments that will haunt you for an age. Kyle Maclachlan, Isabella Rossellini & an unhinged Dennis Hooper are all on fire.

The Lonely Battle Of Thomas Reid   Sun   1/11   RTE1 @ 23.55

Thomas is a man stuck in the past and a man battling in vain against the IDA in an effort to hold on to the Kildare farmland he holds dear. This Irish documentary is a cracker, a real David & Goliath story about someone standing up for themselves against the man. Like the best of Irish productions it will make you laugh and then kick you in the balls. Well worth a watch. Pity it's on so late though.

The Children Act   Mon   2/11   BBC2 @ 21.00

Judge Fiona Maye is having a tough time of things lately. Her marriage is on the edge of a precipice and the case before her in chambers is rattling her in a way no case ever has before. What to do, what to do? The always great Emma Thompson does mighty work in this solid adaption of Ian McEwan's novel. It's a film that never fully takes off but the acting from Thompson and Fionn Whitehead is second to none and there's plenty of food for though here.

Unknown   Mon   2/11   TG4 @ 21.30

A man wakes from a coma after an accident. He doesn't know his name, where he is, what he's doing. He finds out he's married but his wife doesn't recognise him. What in god's name is going on? Made back in the early phase of Liam Neeson's action hero renaissance this is an enjoyably crunchy watch that takes it's high concept idea and runs with it as far as it can go. Neeson does his thing well while a cast including January Jones, Aidan Quinn and Diane Kruger supports him ably.

Brother   Tues   3/11   Film4 @ 01.40

A disgraced Yakuza member finds himself in Los Angeles and works with his brother and his friends to create a new criminal enterprise. Japanese superstar Takeshi Kitano brings his trademark laconic cool to America and it makes for a highly entertaining film. The tone may seem odd to people not used to Kitano's unique style but the scenes of gentle comedy and horrific bloodshed somehow compliment each other in a perfectly strange way. 

The Disappearance Of Alice Creed   Tues   3/11   The Horror Channel @ 22.45

Alice is being held hostage by Vic and Danny. They want her father's money. She's tied to a bed and seemingly helpless. What will she do? This 2009 British thriller is tough stuff but it's unpredictable narrative combined with a trio of worthy performances from Eddie Marsan, Gemma Atherton and Martin Compston will keep you watching til the very end. For a movie mostly set in one room it's a surprisingly layered watch.

What's Eating Gilbert Grape   Thurs   5/11   Sony Movies   16.30

Gilbert spends his time looking after his mother Bonnie and his brother Arnie, both of whom have medical issues. He's not enjoying life to say the least and he's feeling trapped in his small town. Until the day he meets Becky. A film that's so early 90's it hurts but also one that will hook you in with it's relatable issues and soulful performances from Johnny Depp and Juliette Lewis. Leonardo DiCaprio as Arnie owns the show though, this is the film that set him on the road to stardom.

Bone Tomahawk   Thur   5/11   Film4 @ 22.50

A sheriff of a frontier town leads a posse of men into the desert to rescue townfolk who have been kidnapped. Quite what they have been kidnapped by is another matter. S. Craig Zahler's horror/western is a hell of a watch. But be warned, there's one scene of violence in here that will give you nightmares for weeks. The cast though well see you through. Kurt Russell, Richard Jenkins and Patrick Wilson are all in super form.

Absolute Power   Fri   6/11   RTE1 @ 23 

A cat burglar in the middle of a very promising job witnesses the President of the United States doing something very unpresidential. Now his life is in danger as he has knowledge that could topple a government. This Clint Eastwood led thriller is a fine watch if you can get past the nastiness of it's opening scene. Be wary, it's tough going. Gene Hackman, Ed Harris and Laura Linney head a good supporting cast.

The Homesman   Fri   6/11   BBC1 @ 23.30

Two people, a man and a woman escort three women in need of help across the country. A harsh and starkly realistic depiction of how life was for women during the pioneering days of the American west. This is a dark stuff, and thankfully shot through with a vein of darker comedy and carried by some powerful acting from Hilary Swank and Tommy Lee Jones ( who also directed it ). Really worth a watch but make sure you are in the right mood for it.

As always a retweet is much appreciated.



October 29, 2020

Fuck digital

A woman in California is suing Amazon after she found out the films she bought digital copies of from them aren't actually hers and can be removed from the service if Amazon loses the rights to them. I read this with a smug smile on my face earlier because I've been saying it for years. 

Fuck digital copies. Physical media is so much better.

If your signal goes bad you can't watch a digital copy. If you can't pay your internet bill you can't watch them. If you watch them in the evening between 6-11 they'll be buffering and at a lower resolution because you'll be sharing bandwidth with everyone else. Oh and they never look that good anyway. Oh you paid for at full HD copy? 1080P? Check again. Plus you know well you just got rode on the price too because amazon and google give fuck all away cheap. And of course they can just decide to swipe it from you too. 

You cannot beat a physical disc. They always look better, they're always in the correct aspect ratio and these days you can usually get them for peanuts if you're willing to buy second hand. Plus they fill a shelf well.

You can pry these from my cold dead hands.


Review Index

Every review in alphabetical order. 

12 Strong

1917

21 Bridges

22 July

6 Underground

7500

A Beautiful Day In The Neighbourhood

A Bump Along The Way

A Date For Mad Mary

A Good Woman Is Hard To Find

A Prayer Before Dawn

A Quiet Place

A Quiet Place Part II

A Simple Favour

A Star Is Born

Ad Astra

Adrift

Alita : Battle Angel

Alive

All The Money In The World

Alpha

American Animals

American Assassin

American Made

An American Pickle

Anna

Annabelle : Creation

Annabelle Comes Home

Angel Has Fallen

Animals

Another Round

Antlers

Antman And The Wasp

Apostasy

Apostle

Aquaman

Army Of The Dead

Army Of Thieves

Arracht

Assassination Nation

Atone

Avengers : Endgame

Avengers : Infinity War

Avengement

Atomic Blonde

Baby Driver

Bad Boys For Life

Bad Times At The El Royale

Battle Of The Sexes

Baywatch

Be Good Or Be Gone

Beast

Beastie Boys Story

Beautiful Boy

Becky

Belfast

Belly Of The Whale

Below Zero

Better Watch Out

Bill And Ted Face The Music

Birdbox

Birds Of Prey : Harley Quinn

Black '47

Black And Blue

Black Christmas

Black Panther

Black Widow

Blackkklansman

Blade Of The Immortal

Blade Runner 2049

Blinded By The Light

Blockers

Blood Red Sky

Blood Vessel

Bloody Hell

Blue Bayou

Bodycam

Bohemian Rhapsody

Bombshell

Book Smart

Boy Erased

Boys From County Hell

Brawl In Cellblock 99

Breaking In

Brightburn

Broken Law

Bumblebee

Bushwick

Butt Boy

Call Of The Wild

Calm With Horses

Can You Ever Forgive Me?

Candyman

Captain Marvel

Cardboard Gangsters

Carrie

Censor

Chappaquiddick

Charlie's Angels

Cherry

Childs Play

Clean

Cold Pursuit

Colour Out Of Space

Come As You Are

Concrete Plans

CODA 

Copshop

Crawl

Crazy Samurai : 400 Vs 1

Creed 2

Crown Vic

Cry Macho

Da 5 Bloods

Damo And Ivor

Dark Lies The Island

Dark Water

Dating Amber

Deadly Cuts

Deadpool 2

Deadwood : The Movie

Death Kiss

Death On The Nile

Death Wish

Deliver Us From Evil

Den Of Thieves

Departures

Detroit

Diego Maradona

Django Unchained

Doctor Sleep

Dog

Downhill

Downsizing

Dragged Across Concrete

Dublin Oldschool

Dune

Dunkirk

Eighth Grade

El Camino : A Breaking Bad Movie

Eternals

Eurovision Song Contest : The Story Of Fire Saga

Extra Ordinary

Extraction

Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil And Vile

Fahrenheit 451

Fast And Furious 9

Father Figures

Fear Street Part 1 : 1994

Fear Street Part 2 : 1978

Fear Street Part 3 : 1666

Feedback

Fighting With My Family

Final Score

Finch

First Man

First They Killed My Father

Flatliners

For The Sake of Vicious

Freaky

Free Fire

Free Guy

Fried Barry

Game Night

Gemini Man

Gerald's Game

Ghost Stories

Ghostbusters : Afterlife

Glass

Godzilla : King Of The Monsters

Godzilla Vs Kong

Good Boys

Gotti

Great White

Green Book

Greenland

Greta

Greyhound

Gringo

Gunpowder Milkshake

Guns Akimbo

Hacksaw Ridge

Halloween

Halloween Kills

Hammer

Happiest Season

Happy Death Day

Happy Death Day 2 U

Hard Kill

Harriet

Held

Hellboy

Hereditary

His House

Hobbes & Shaw

Hold The Dark

Hollow Point

Holmes & Watson

Honest Thief

Honey Boy

Hotel Artemis

Hotel Mumbai

Hostiles

House Of Gucci

How To Build A Girl

Howlers

Hunted

Hunter Hunter

Hunter Killer

Hustlers

I Care A Lot

I Feel Pretty

I'm Your Woman

I See You

I,Tonya

If Beale Street Could Talk

In The Earth

Infamous

Ingrid Goes West

Instant Family

It : Chapter 2

It Comes At Night

Jackass Forever

Jay And Silent Bob Reboot

John Wick 3

Joker

Jojo Rabbit

Journeyman

Judas And The Black Messiah

Juliet, Naked

Jumanji : The Next Level

Jumanji : Welcome To The Jungle

Just Mercy

Jurassic World : Fallen Kingdom

Kajillionaire

Kate

Katie

Kimi

King Richard

Kingsman : The Golden Circle

Knives Out

Kong  : Skull Island

Lady Bird

Last Night In Soho

Late Night

Le Mans '66

Lego Star Wars Holiday Special

Let Him Go

Licorice Pizza

Life Of The Party

Like A Boss

Line Of Duty

Lion

Little Monsters

Little Women

Lords Of Chaos

Love And Monsters

Luce

Making The Grade

Malignant

Mandy

Mary Magdelene

Mary, Queen Of Scots

Maze

Men In Black : International

Metal Heart

Michael, Inside

Mid90s

Midsommar

Midway

Mile 22

Mission Impossible : Fallout

Moffie

Molly's Game

Monsters & Men

Monster Hunter

Moonfall

Moon Dogs

Mortal Kombat

Mother!

Motherless Brooklyn

Mudbound

Murder Mystery

Mute

Murder On The Orient Express

My Son

Never Grow Old

News Of The World

Night In Paradise

Night School

Nightmare Alley

Nobody

No Exit

No Stone Unturned

No Time To Die

Ocean's 8

Official Secrets

Old Henry

Once Upon A Time In Hollywood

Onward

Otherhood

Our Ladies

Outlaw King

Outside The Wire

Overlord

On Chesil Beach

Only The Brave

Pacific Rim : Uprising

Palm Springs

Papillon

Parasite

Passing

Perfect 10

Pet Semetary

Phantom Thread

Piercing

Pilgrimage

Plan B

Polar

Porno

Possessor

Poster Boys

Private Life

Project Power

Proud Mary

Queen & Slim

Quo Vadis, Aida?

Rambo : Last Blood

Rampage

Random Acts Of Violence

Ravage

Ready Or Not

Ready Player One

Red Rocket

Red Sea Diving Resort

Red Sparrow

Relic

Rialto

Richard Jewell

Riders Of Justice

Rise Of The Footsoldier : Origins

Robin Hood

Rocks

Rocketman

Roma

Rosie

Run

Run Hide Fight

SAS : Red Notice

Savage

Schemers

Scream

Sea Fever

Shaft

Shang-Chi And The Legend Of The Ten Rings

Shazam!

Shiva Baby

Sicario 2

Skin

Skyscraper

Slaughterhouse Rulez

Slaxx

Snake Eyes

Solo : A Star Wars Story

Sonic The Hedgehog

Sonny Capone

Sound Of Metal

Sorry To Bother You

Spectre

Spenser : Confidential

Spiderman : Far From Home

Spiderman : Homecoming

Spiderman : No Way Home

Spiderman : Into The Spider-verse

Spiral : From The Book Of Saw

Spontaneous

Spree

Sputnik

Stan & Ollie

Star Wars : The Rise Of Skywalker

Stillwater

Stronger

Suburbicon

Superfly

Supernova

Supertroopers 2

Synchronic

Tag

Tenet

Terminator : Dark Fate

Texas Chainsaw Massacre

Thank You Come Again

The 355

The 800

The Assistant

The Ballad Of Buster Scruggs

The Banana Splits Movie

The Batman

The Beguiled

The Belko Experiment

The Binge

The Boy Behind The Door

The Breadwinner

The Brightside

The Card Counter

The Cloverfield Paradox

The Commuter

The Conjuring : The Devil Made Me Do It

The Courier

The Cured

The Darkest Hour

The Darkest Minds

The Dead Don't Die

The Death Of Stalin

The Devil All The Time

The Dig

The Dirt

The Disaster Artist

The Drummer And The Keeper

The Duke

The Empty Man

The Equalizer 2

The Fanatic

The Father

The Favourite

The Festival

The 15:17 To Paris

The First Purge

The Florida Project

The Forever Purge

The Gateway

The Gentlemen

The Girl In The Spiders Web

The Good Liar

The Greatest Showman

The Grudge

The Happytime Murders

The Harder They Fall

The Hate U Give

The Highwaymen

The Hitman's Bodyguard

The Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard

The Hole In The Ground

The House That Jack Built

The Hunt

The Hustle

The Ice Road

The Informer

The Intruder

The Invisible Man

The Irishman

The Justice League

The Kid Detective

The Killing Of A Sacred Deer

The King Of Staten Island

The King's Man

The Kitchen

The Lads

The Last Black Man In San Francisco

The Last Duel

The Last Jedi

The Last Laugh

The Last Right

The Leisure Seeker

The Lighthouse

The Limehouse Golem

The Little Stranger

The Little Things

The Lodgers

The Long Shot

The Lost City Of Z

The Many Saints Of Newark

The Marksman

The Meg

The Meyerowitz Stories (New And Selected)

The Mountain Between Us

The Mule

The Mummy

The Mustang

The New Mutants

The Night Comes For Us

The Nightingale

The Nun

The Old Man And The Gun

The Outpost

The Owners

The Package

The Peanut Butter Falcon

The Perfection

The Predator

The Post

The Quarry

The Racer

The Rental

The Ritual

The Secret Of Marrowbone

The Secrets We Keep

The Shallows

The Shape Of Water

The Sisters Brothers

The Snowman

The Spy Who Dumped Me

The Strangers : Prey At Night

The Suicide Squad

The Tax Collector

The Toll

The Trial Of The Chicago 7

The True History Of The Kelly Gang

The Upside

The Wolf Of Snow Hall

The Wrong Missy

The Wiremen

They Shall Not Grow Old

Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri

Thor : Ragnarok

Those Who Wish Me Dead

Thunder Force

Till Death

Tomb Raider

Toy Story 4

Trainspotting 2

Triple Frontier

Triple Threat

Truth Or Dare

Tully

Uncharted

Uncle Frank

Uncle Peckerhead

Uncut Gems

Underwater

Unhinged

Unpregnant

Upgrade

Us

V.F.W.

Valerian And The City Of A Thousand Planets

Vampires Vs The Bronx

Velvet Buzzsaw

Venom

Venom : Let There Be Carnage

Vice

Vox Lux

War For The Planet Of The Apes

Waves

We Summon The Darkness

Welcome To Marwen

Werewolves Within

West Side Story

What Men Want

What Richard Did

White Boy Rick

Widows

Wild Rose

Wildfire

Wildling

Wind River

Without Remorse

Wolfwalkers

Wonder

Wonder Woman

Wonder Woman 1984

Wrath Of Man

Wreck-It Ralph 2

Wrong Turn

X-Men : Dark Phoenix

Zombieland : Double Tap

October 27, 2020

An upside of the lockdown.

I don't have much hair but even I need a trip to the barbers every now and then. With that out of the question I had to take matters into my own hands and this year i learnt of the joy of a perfectly shaved head. 

I wish I'd started doing this years ago.

I love the ritual of it all. The hot shower to loosen up the stubble. That shower leaves you lovely and relaxed too.

Taking a new, sharp razor from it's packaging and leaving it to soak in a cup of hot water.

Lashing on the shaving foam and giving myself a foam moustache if i feel like it. Maybe a soul patch as a treat.

Sitting down to let the foam work its magic while listening to a nice soothing piece of music, Albatross by Fleetwood Mac maybe or Whale & Wasp by Alice In Chains. Or Cavalleria Rusticana if I'm feeling especially notiony.

Then that first stroke of the razor. There's no going back after that.

The back of the head is a pain but there's great satisfaction in getting it all without drawing even a drop of blood. I'm not one to boast bit I'm pretty fucking deadly at this. #Modest

Then a splash of cold water and another splash of aftershave moisturiser to finish the job.

And lastly lying down on a clean, fresh pillow case and luxuriating in how nice it feels.

It's the little things. I've learned to appreciate a lot of them in 2020.

Plus each head shave is an extra tenner in my Playstation 5 fund 👍👍👍


October 26, 2020

Video Nasty Rewatch part 13 - The Cannibal Man

Yet another alternative title

Well colour me surprised. I saw this years ago and it bored me silly so the idea of a revisit made me want to put pennies over my eyes but godammit it's actually a nifty little thriller that's a lot more intelligent than it gets credit for. There are way too few nasties we can say that about.

Set over 7 days it's the story of Marcos, a bad tempered butcher and the trouble his rage gets him into. First up is an altercation he gets into with a taxi driver that's witnessed by his girlfriend Paula. The driver dies and when Paula suggests going to the cops, he flips and kills her too. Marcos is looked down on by society because of his job and where he came from, he knows the cops would kill him, he sees himself as innocent and still does after his deliberate murder of Paula. Then his brother rocks up looking for Paula and he meets his maker too. Then his brother's girlfriend and so on and so on. The bodies are stacking up, the air in Marcos' apartment is getting ripe and air freshener will only cover up so much. He needs a plan. Then he remembers what he does for a living.....

It sounds like a splatterfest and yeah it does contain a couple of pretty gnarly sequences of brutality (slit throats, meats cleavers to faces, that horrible slaughter sequence the movie opens with) but it's quite a clever watch too. It's a fine example of 70's social cinema containing commentary on the hierarchies of Spanish society (all society really) in between it's darker moments. The Spain we know today is all beaches, sun, cerveza and paella but in 1972 when this was released the country was still under the thumb of Francisco Franco, the dictator who had his boot on the neck of the country for almost 40 years. Life there was pretty shitty for the have nots and The Cannibal Man was a darkly satirical look at the existence of the common man. 

So why did it bore me the first time i saw it? I think i might have been expecting something a lot more video nasty-esque because of that title. In Spain it's called La Semana Del Asesino aka The Murderer's Week but in the UK distributors renamed it as The Cannibal Man to cash in on the infamy of Cannibal Holocaust and Cannibal Ferox and wouldn't you know it, it backfired and it ended up on the video nasty list. Like so many on that list it would have been forgotten in the mists of time but being part of the DPP 39 gave it infamy. An infamy it does not deserve at all. But an infamy that got it a wider audience than it would have never got by itself.

Would I recommend this one? Yep. Just close your eyes at the start.

Does it deserve it's nasty status? Not a hope.

What's next? Devil Hunter is next. Another Jess Franco suckfest about a monster with ping pong ball eyes. No I'm not making this up.

October 25, 2020

Uncle Peckerhead


"What do people taste like?"

"Hmmm.....well.....some people taste like dogshit and others taste like.....watermelon sherbert."

"Huh, sounds like a metaphor for humanity."

For a film that begins with a jawbone being ripped off a partially avulsed skull so the meat attached to it can be eaten, Uncle Peckerhead is a surprisingly likable watch.

With a name like Duh a band is always going to have a hard time getting respect and lead singer Judy (Chet Siegel) is getting sick of it all. She's jacked in her job to devote all her time to her passion and she's the only one taking things seriously. Duh need a kick up the arse to get going and a chance encounter with a man called Peckerhead (David Littleton) is just what they need. Peckerhead, Peck for short, has a van and nowhere to be so he becomes their driver and roadie. Judy is uncertain about the new guy in their lives and their clash of personalities only deepens when she discovers Peck cannibalising a promoter who's just ripped them off. You see Peck is a bit of a misfit, he's half man half monster and his bad half only comes out at night. Now Judy and the Duh's have to put their disgust of Peck to one side because that van of his, it's just so damn handy and they realise that if they keep him sweet, he's only a minor threat to them.

This new comedy horror, streaming online now as part of the IFI horrorthon is loads of fun. If your idea of fun is ripped out spinal columns, spraying faecal matter and band massacres you'll have a ball with it. Unlike the vast majority of streaming horror released these days Uncle Peckerhead is made to entertain you, there's no horrible undertones, it won't (unduly) disgust you, stress you out, rub your face in pain and suffering, it's a film to laugh with and not at. The people who get ripped asunder generally deserve it. The people who don't are fun to be with and have a nice easy chemistry that ensure you don't want to see them splashed across the screen. Plus their music ain't bad at all. The practical FX (god i love practical FX) will make you laugh instead of sickening you, especially the scene when two brilliantly cliched metalheads get in Peck's face. You always know who's going to bite the dust and there's loads of fun watching these meatpuppets stumble into Peck's way.

Like 2016's own punk rock horror Green Room this film goes out of it's way to de-glamourise the idea of life on the road for small time bands. It's a miserable cramped existence, privacy doesn't exist, you never know if you'll be paid or how much you'll get at the end of a night, meals are whatever you can find in road sides stores, getting to sleep in a real bed is a rarity. It's such a rotten way to live that the introduction of an actual monster to your circle would actually spice things up and if the monster turns out to be pretty decent it's a bonus. Peck is one of that rare breed of movie monster, one you'd actually have a laugh with. As long as you stay on his right side that is and David Littleton's friendly manner and homely turns of phrase make it easy to see why the Duh's keep him around despite his love of scoffing human bowels. 

Solid punk tunes, some lovingly realised comic violence, surprisingly good acting and a lovable bad(?) guy. What's not to like?

Btw, i not so subtly mentioned 5 punk bands in this review. See if you can find them.


October 24, 2020

17 films on TV this week to help you ignore everything else

War For The Planet Of The Apes   Sat   24/10   RTE2 @ 21.45

The ape vs human conflict is in full swing and both sides are suffering huge casualties. An obsessive human soldier brings tragedy into head ape Caesar's life and a battle for the planet begins. The final installment in the Apes trilogy is a brilliant way to round off the series. A stunning looking, starkly violent, action packed and ultimately uplifting watch. Andy Serkis in the lead does mega work and Woody Harrelson hits the spot as his nemesis.

Apostasy   Sat   24/10   BBC2 @ 22.00

Ivanna, a Jehovah's Witness has her existence thrown into freefall when her daughter Alex breaks the rules of the church and she's forced to shun her. And that's only the start of her troubles. This 2017 examination of one of modern life's harshest religious cults is a tough, upsetting watch but one that plays out without the need for histrionics or melodrama, instead relying on powerful turns from actors like Siobhan Finneran and Molly Wright.

The Brood   Sat   24/10   The Horror Channel @ 22.35

A psychiatrist is using some rather unorthodox techniques to help his patients deal with their issues and the parents of one patient are realising it's doing more harm than good. David Cronenberg's 1979 horror is absolutely bonkers and it's premise will be too much for some to swallow but if you go with it you'll have some horrible, uncomfortable squirmy fun. Oliver Reed brings his usual intensity to bear as the doctor.

A Fantastic Woman   Sun   25/10   CH4 @ 01.20

A transgender woman called Marina living in Santiago, Chile has her life flipped upside down when her older boyfriend passes away suddenly. Sebastián Lelio's 2017 drama is a stunner. A subtle, thoughtful and flawlessly acted look at a life in freefall caused by problems cis folk wouldn't even consider an issue. Danielle Vega as Marina puts in a barnstormer of a performance. This one is well worth staying awake for.

It Could Happen To You   Sun   25/10   Sony Movies @ 23.10

When he can't afford a tip, a cop called Charlie promises a waitress called Yvonne half his winnings if he hits the jackpot in that night's lottery draw. See if you can guess what happens next. Made back in the day before Nicolas Cage's head exploded, this lovely old fashioned Capra-esque comedy drama is a perfect way to spend an afternoon. Himself and Bridget Fonda (I miss her) make a pairing you'll want to see succeed.

A Quiet Place   Mon   26/10   Film4 @ 21.00

In a world where the slightest sound can get you torn asunder a family struggles to survive and thrive. You want your nerves wracked? Well look no further than this full blooded sci-fi horror. Stressful, frightening, inventive and with an absolutely killer final scene. Best of all? It's only 90 minutes long. Jon Krazinski's debut film as director is a success and his onscreen chemistry with his real life wife Emily Blunt is the icing on the cake.

The Guest   Mon   26/10   Sony Movies @ 21.00

A family is totally upended when a war veteran claiming to have been a friend of their dead son turns up at the door and wiggles his way into their life. An entertaining and knowing homage to the action films and home invasion thrillers of the 90's with a little splash of horror thrown in for good measure.  Funny, nasty and totally absurd. This is a pleasing way to spend 2 hrs. Maika Monroe and Dan Stevens are both deadly.

Ocean's 8   Mon   26/10   RTE1 @ 21.30

Debby Ocean is fresh out of jail and itchin' to do some stealin'. Her target - New York's Met Gala. The job - a $150 million dollar necklace. Now she just needs a team to help pull it off. This comedy/crime caper is great fun and far less smug and self satisfied than the franchise that spawned it. Sandra Bullock, Cate Blanchett, Anne Hathaway and Helena Bonham Carter are the big draws but it's Awkwafina who steals the show.

Winchester '73   Tues   27/10   Film4 @ 16.30

The first and for me still the best of a series of westerns James Stewart made with director Anthony Mann. Stewart stars as a sharpshooter who's gun is robbed from him and passes through many people's hands during the course of the film. A lovely looking, well paced and very exciting film with a final shootout that is still influencing films today. Watch out for a very young Rock Hudson as a native American!

Red Eye   Tues   27/10   TCM @ 23.05

Lisa is on her way to a funeral by plane when she finds herself sitting beside the charming and talkative Jackson. There's a lot more to Jackson than flirtiness though. Wes Craven's thriller is a tight and taut little film that moves like a race horse and always stays enjoyable even when it strays into very silly territory near the end. Rachel McAdams is an effective heroine and Cillian Murphy as Jackson does well as the blue eyed baddie.

Beware, My Lovely   Wed   28/10   Talking Pictures TV @ 22.00

Ok, it's time for some film noir. Helen has been feeling lonely since the war took her husband and she lets her guard down to invite a handyman to do some work around her house. It doesn't take long before she realises it's a mistake. Ida Lupino and Robert Ryan are first rate in a simple but suspense filled chamber piece that played on post war American fears of being invaded in the place they found the safest.

The Secret of Marrowbone   Wed   28/10   Film4 @ 23.05

The Marrowbones have a....well they have a secret. Their mam has died and if the authorities find out they'll be separated so they cover up her death. But the big house they live in has it's own secrets too. Creepy ones. The ending may make you roll your eyes but the journey there is a fine one. A spooky story filled with gothic overtones and beautiful scenery and a cast including Anya Taylor-Joy, George MacKay and Mia Goth who all do good work.

Big Eyes   Thur   29/10   CH4 @ 02.15

Since she left her husband Margaret has filled her time creating unique works of art and looking after her daughter. Then she meets Walter. Under his friendly facade Walter is a scumbag, a scumbag who likes to take credit for her work. Tim Burton brings his usual sense of oddness to a true story for once and the result is a nice change of pace for him. The wonderful Amy Adams and Christoph Waltz do well in the leading roles.

A Star Is Born   Thur   29/10   BBC4 @ 20.00

The 1954 version. Norman's career is on the ropes, drink has ruined him, but one night he meets a showgirl called Esther and spots a chance to help her and revitalise himself. But Hollywood is an unforgiving place and alcohol is an unforgiving drug. Judy Garland and James Mason are immense in this heartbreaking cautionary tale. It's almost 154 minutes long but you'll be glued to every single one of them.

Re-Animator   Fri   30/10   The Horror Channel @ 22.55

80's horror at its finest in this tale of a mad student scientist who has figured out the secret to re-animating dead flesh. Of course everything goes pear shaped. In the goriest way possible. A very amusing film if you have a strong stomach and a willingness to just go with the bizarre onscreen events. Jeffrey Combs has the role of a lifetime as the man with the plan. Don't watch this if you are easily offended.

Trumbo   Fri   30/10   RTE1 @ 23.25

1947. A dark period in Hollywood. Communist witch hunts are in full flow. Dalton Trumbo refuses to testify against his fellow writers and finds himself in a precarious position because of it. This film might be overly simplifying an important story but Bryan Cranston nails his part as the titular character and it's a solid history lesson for younger viewers. Helen Mirren, Diane Lane and Michael Stuhlberg all add a touch of class.

Train To Busan   Fri   30/10   Film4 @ 23.20

A zombie apocalypse hits South Korea and a father and daughter find themselves fighting for their lives on a train out of Seoul. Yes it's another Zombie flick......no no come back......but seriously it's a super watch. It's full of heart and for once you'll genuinely care about the characters being menaced. Plus it's really clever and the attack scenes are astounding. Yoo Gong & Su-an Kim as Dad and Daughter are aces.

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