1 day to Bond. Top 5 Bond tunes

The best Bond song of all. In my opinion of course. 

It's amazing how a song about murder can sound so beautiful.

Gladys Knight - Licence To Kill

2

3

4

5

The Gateway

 

"I got some acid, I got crystal, dynamite green, some brown and china."

"Blow."

"I know you don't like them mushrooms."

"Blow."

"Really?"

"Mmm hmm"

"Ok. That's cooked with tabs of acid, you're gonna like that."

When the social worker entrusted to caring for your kids is playing chess for drugs in his local dive bar you might want to keep an eye on him. Because you never know, he might just be the one to save the day.

Parker Jode (Shea Whigham) spends half his day checking up on at risk children and the other half in a cloud of smoke, whiskey and powder. Life hasn't been kind to him but he's a good enough man still to make sure the kids in his care are looked after properly. Ashley Montrose (Taegan Burns) is one he checks on regularly and he's worried because her mother Dahlia (Olivia Munn) is coming apart at the seams and when her jailbird father Mike (Zach Avery) comes home things have the potential to go south fast. Mike promises he's on the straight and narrow but falls instantly into a life of crime with his old boss Duke Harmady (Frank Grillo) and within days of coming home robs a shipment of heroin from a gang involved with a Mexican cartel. All parties are on a collision course but can Parker keep Ashley out of danger?

It's Shea Whigham. He'll try his level best anyway. Whigham is one of those actors who can add a world weary veneer to any character he plays and it's his performance as Parker that turns a story we've seen a thousand times before into something quite watchable. He's broken by his past, by a veteran father, who to misquote the great John Prine had a hole in his arm where all his money went. He knows what the US foster system can do to children and it's his perogative to keep kids and parents together until it isn't feasible anymore. His few successes and many failures are beaten into his appearance and his demons are tamped down with things that are killing him. So when he sees a chance at redemption, a chance to really make a difference he goes at it with both hands and Whigham sells the part right down the line.

The rest of the story isn't quite so successful. Frank Grillo, in a smaller role than usual, looks like he's stepped in off the set of the 60's Batman, feeling less like a person and more like a plot point to keep the story moving while Olivia Munn is absolutely wasted in a role that's little more than a damsel in distress. Familiar faces like Bruce Dern, Keith David and Mark Boone Jr (still rocking that Sons Of Anarchy look btw, keep the faith Bobby) fill out the rest of the cast but don't get much to do aside from a rant from Dern, playing Parker's father, that just feels too awkwardly placed, too blunt and all encompassing, feeling like a scattergun aimed at all of society's ills. You'll get director Michele Civetta's intentions, that America's problems with substance abuse has it's roots in past sins but here it's a badly timed diatribe sticking out of the film like a sore thumb.

When a lead performance is this believable it's a nuisance when all else doesn't match it. The heist that kicks everything into motion will grab your attention though. A limb severing, bullet spraying brute force moment all done in one take (ok, there's two cuts but they are well hidden) that marks director Civetta as a name to take note of when it comes to directing action. Maybe this film will be his Gateway to the big time. 

Sorry.

The Gateway is streaming on Google Movies now.

2 days to Bond. Top 5 Bond tunes

Number 2 is the quintessential Bond song. The template for most of what came after it. That voice, that brass backing. Big, bold, beautiful. 

Shirley Bassey and Goldfinger.

3

4

5

Bed

Me today to everything.

Next stop - bed

3 days To Bond. Top 5 Bond tunes

Number 3 has a touch of the far east about it which is apt seeing as it's set in Japan. We just won't mention the part where Sean Connery disguises himself as a Japanese man. Ever. It didn't happen. Right? Cringe.

Nancy Sinatra and You Only Live Twice. A masterpiece of a song.

4

5

Video nasty rewatch part 34 - Night Of The Demon.

No it's not that Night Of The Demon. This is the video nasty one. Number 34 opens on an arresting image. A man camping in the woods has his entire arm ripped off by something monstrous and as he lies dying, the pints of blood spilling out of him fill a fresh footprint in the ground. A huge footprint. That looks vaguely apelike! When you get something like this in a nasty it's a surprise. You realise there's some effort thrown into the film you're about to watch. Not much now mind you but enough to help you enjoy it.

The man who's arm was ripped off was Carla Thomas's father and she wants answers and to get them she's gone to anthropology professor Bill Nugent who's instantly intrigued by the rumours he's heard of a Bigfoot haunting the forests of Northern California. People are being ripped asunder but the cops just don't want to know so Bill, Carla and a gang of his students head north to investigate. They camp out on the land of an old farmer who warns them to stay away from the woods but when he's pushed and bribed he tells them about a loner called Wanda who lives deep in the wilderness. What they find out about her might just change the course of science. If they make it out alive that is...

This one is better than you've heard. It's terribly acted and a fair chunk of it is quite hard to make out because it's so dark but it has a story that's actually kind of decent, damning the horrors of religion and glaring at police corruption while remembering to pace itself properly as well. Too many of the nasties keep all their action for the very end of the story but here you get something wet and gooey every 7 or 8 minutes to keep things moving as we get graphic flashbacks of the creature's misdeeds as told to his students by Professor Nugent. Limbs are torn off, people in sleeping bags are impaled on branches, scouts are crushed against each other and loving couples are murdered while........ahem.. in flagrante delicto. In the film's most notorious scene a biker takes a whizz onto a bush in which the creature is snoozing and gets his bits and bobs torn off and of course director James C. Wasson has to treat us to a close up of the squirting stump.

It's this scene that caused all the trouble of course. It's no surprise to hear that this didn't get a cinema release and first hit British shores on video, courtesy of Vipco releases. Vipco, you may remember were arguably the company who started off the whole nasties hysteria when their lurid choice of artwork for Driller Killer caught the eye of Mary Whitehouse and in 1982 they were pumping out uncut versions of gory horror films to take advantage of the unregulated home video market. Night Of The Demon was brought to the attention of the British Board Of Film Classification in 1983 and was prosecuted for obscenity a few months later. Nowadays it's hard to believe owning a film like this could get you into big trouble with the 5-0 but 38 years ago all bets were off. The film stayed banned until 1994 when a rebooted version of Vipco managed to get the film a home release but this time it had been shorn of 1 minute 41 seconds of blood and guts and surprisingly this is still the only version of the film legally available in the UK and Ireland. Ahh the wonders of youtube eh? 

It's a nasty you rarely hear mentioned in conversations about the infamous 39 but it should be. It goes to places you'd never expect and is brave enough to deviate wildly away from the slasher film it seems to be at first. Halfway through it goes full on hillbilly horror before veering into devil worship and ending up as it's own version of Night Of The Living Dead. It's the ending that finishes the film on a high when the professor and his students finally get proof that what they are investigating is definitely not an urban myth and we get to witness what happens when a room full of bad actors meets an angry Bigfoot. Intestines used as nunchuks you say? It's all here and it's.....it's a sight to behold.

Does Night Of The Demon deserve it's nasty status? Nope, but the BBFC and their stringent and idiotic checklists seemed to think so.

Is it worth a watch? Yep. It at least tries to be good and that already makes better a lot of the others on the list.

Next up : Snuff. Boredom and disgust in equal measure.

4 days to Bond. Top 5 Bond tunes

Number 4 is so 80's it hurts but man alive it's a wicked tune.

I dare you not to sing along with A-Ha and The Living Daylights.

Comes the morning and the headlights fade away

Hundred thousand people, I'm the one they blame

I've been waiting long for one of us to say

"Save the darkness, let it never fade away"

Oh, the living daylights

Number 5

Halloweezzzzzzz

 

The 12th Halloween (two of which are Rob Zombie reboots) film is coming out in three weeks time and has just been classified 18 for the reasons above by the Irish film classification office. It sounds about as much fun as being kicked in the nuts. The first film managed to be one of the scariest movies of all time with barely a drop of blood spilled but this just sounds like absolute shock value, another "let's cover up our absolute lack of originality with intestines and hope no-one notices" horror sequel. Plus director David Gordon Green has already told us this is part one of a two film that will conclude in Halloween 2022 thereby negating any bit of tension this film will strive for. Jamie Lee Curtis can't die in part one now and lets be honest, no one gives a fuck about anyone else in the film.

When part 3 came out in 1982 it had a whole different story because producer John Carpenter, who had directed the first installment and produced the second, knew the story of Laurie and Michael was played out. Somehow 39 years later the story keep continuing. It's just embarrassing now. Maybe part 12 will throw a spanner in the works.....nah. It will be the same aul shite again won't it.

5 days to Bond. Top 5 Bond tunes.

No Time To Die is finally out on Thursday. It was supposed to be out on in April 2020 but Covid-19 delayed it until November 2020 which then became April 2020 and then it was delayed again when the pandemic decided to hang around and now, finally, it's coming out on the 30th of September. No one has heard a thing about it yet and the only tangible thing we've had so far is Billie Eilish's title tune which is alright. It might be a grower but it's not a patch on the older tunes.

For the next 5 days to release day I'll count down my top 5. Not that anyone should care tbh but I do love a Bond tune.

Number 5. From Octopussy it's Rita Coolidge and All Time High. One of the few songs that isn't named after the title. I wonder why....

What are your favourites?

Number 4 tomorrow.

When life gives you lemons make sure they ain't oranges.

I slept this afternoon like a fool.

This is me tonight.

But

It might just be the night for my yearly rewatch of part 1 and part 2.

When life gives you lemons etc.

18 films on TV this week to help say goodbye to September

True Grit   Sat   25/9   ITV4 @ 21.00

A young woman hires a briary old U.S. marshal to hunt the men who killed her father. The Coen Brother's fiercely entertaining remake of the classic John Wayne western is a rare beast - a remake that surpasses the original. A droll, quirky and in places quite touching story. The cast is top notch too with Hailee Steinfeld superb in her debut acting role but the film belongs to Jeff Bridges as Rooster Cogburn. He's just flawless in the part.

Byzantium   Sat   25/9   TG4 @ 21.40

Two women on the run turn up a quiet beach town and it isn't long before their centuries old secret is out and they find themselves in danger again. Neil Jordan directs Saoirse Ronan and Gemma Atherton in this intelligent, well written and pretty bloody horror story. Not a film for the squeamish amongst us but if you can stick with it you'll be satisfied by this one off take on an overcrowded area of the horror genre.

Let Us Prey   Sat   25/9   The Horror Channel @ 22.45

Something odd is happening in the police station of a small Scottish town. A man called Six, fingerprints from a case decades before, mysterious powers of persuasion and knowledge that people cannot possibly know. This 2014 horror film definitely isn't for the weak of stomach but a wicked turn from Liam Cunningham and a well crafted balance of gore, scares and black humour make it very watchable. Pollyanna MacIntosh is a strong lead.

The Spy Gone North   Sun   26/9   BBC2 @ 02.00

Black Venus has left South Korea and he's on his way to Beijing and about to wangle his way into a group of North Korean officials to learn all they know about their country's war plans. He's deadly at his job, but can the same be said about the government controlling him? This 2018 espionage thriller is a nerve wracking yarn, as far from a Bond film as you can imagine and all the more effective for it. Jung-Min Hwang as Black Venus is on the ball.

Nevada Smith   Sun   26/9   ITV4 @ 18.25

Nevada Smith, looked down on all his life for being a "halfbreed", half White, half Native American is devastated by a massive tragedy and changes his life in order to get revenge on the men responsible. This Steve McQueen led western is a solid Sunday evening movie. It hits all the beats you'll expect but also adds a surprising depth with it's ruminations on the psychological effects of violence. McQueen is his usual stoic self. 

The Nanny   Sun   26/9   Talking Pictures TV @ 22.05

Bette Davis in a Hammer horror film? How could you go wrong? Answer - you can't. A young boy called Joey has just been released from a psychiatric hospital after he murdered his sister two years before. Now his sights are set on his mother. A sinister story about the darkness lurking in the minds of many that's grounded by taut, nervy performances from Davis, Wendy Craig and Jill Bennett. 

Detective Story   Mon   27/9   Film4 @ 12.45

In a police precinct riddled with lowlives on both sides of the law, detective Jim McLeod stands out. He's rage in human form and lives to send the criminals he's sees every day behind bars. Now a doctor has caught his eye. Some aspects of this slice of film noir from 1951 have dated unsurprisingly but a vicious turn from Kirk Douglas and some inspired camerawork keep it all interesting.

Passenger 57   Mon   27/9   ITV4 @ 21.00

Super criminal Charles Rane has just hijacked a plane to avoid going to a trial that will jail him forever. Unfortunately for him the world's leading plane security specialist is onboard as well and he's ready to kick some goddamn ass. Yup, it's Die Hard on a plane but it's so much fun and it ain't afraid to wink at the camera from time to time either. Bruce Payne is a hilariously OTT bad guy and Wesley Snipes just rocks the hero role.

I, Tonya   Mon   27/9   TG4 @ 21.30

Tonya Harding was the talk of the Winter Olympics in 1994. But not because of any medals she won. Oh no, her story was far more complicated than any race to the podium. This sporting autobiography from 2018 is a fantastic film, as dark and twisted as any crime thriller and based on a true story that will shock you. Margot Robbie is immense as Tonya but it's Allison Janney as her truly vile mother who will stick in your mind for days after.

Cold In July   Tues   28/9   Great! Movies @ 21.00

Richard Dane kills a burglar in self defence inside his family home. The act sets in motion a sequence of events no one could foresee. This is a dark scenario, a twisting, turning, seedy feeling modern noir thriller that goes in directions that will surprise you every step of the way. A first rate cast including Michael C.Hall, Sam Shepherd, Vinessa Shaw and Don Johnson help keep it all grounded when things head towards silliness..

Dark Encounter   Tues   28/9   Film4 @ 23.20

1982. A child goes missing never to be seen again. A painful year goes by capped by a memorial service attended by her family. On their way home they see...... to say anymore would blunt a solid, suspenseful and unique spin on a story that's been done many, many times before. You'll want to be in a certain frame of mind for this one to get through it but it's worth your time. Laura Fraser and Mel Raido put in first rate work as her parents.

Oldboy   Wed   29/9   TCM @ 21.00

A man is locked in a room for 20 years and then suddenly released. He went in a drink sodden disaster but he comes out ready for a fight. Ok, this is the Spike Lee remake but no no no, hear me out, it's actually pretty good, it hasn't been blunted and it's a lot grittier and way darker than your average Hollywood revenge flick. Josh Brolin and Elizabeth Olsen head a cast packed full of faces you'll recognise.

Boy Erased   Wed    29/9   BBC2 @ 23.15

Jared's a gay college student who just wants to be happy but living in the deep south and having a religious family makes it impossible, especially when he's sent to a conversion therapy camp. You'll probably finish this film in a vile mood but it's an important look at the horrors of fundamentalism and homophobia. Russell Crowe as Jared's father is a bit pantomime but Lucas Hedges and Nicole Kidman will break your heart.

The Gift   Thur   30/9   CH4 @ 02.00

Simon and Robin are a married couple living a nice life until a chance encounter with a face from the past turns everything upside done for them. A slowburn but gripping thriller with a truly unsettling denouement, this is the kind of movie that will rattle around your head for an age. Starring Rebecca Hall, Jason Bateman and Joel Edgerton (who also wrote and directed it) this one is really worth a go.

Monos   Thur   30/9   Film4 @ 23.25

Teenage soldiers on a remote Colombian mountaintop are left to the own devices while holding a prisoner of war hostage. Did I mention they were teenagers? Yeah, teenagers, on their own, with guns. A tough watch as you can imagine, about the darker side of human nature and all the impulses that come along with it. But an oddly beautiful story too, one that will linger in your head for an age. Sofía Buenaventura, Moisés Arias and Julianne Nicholson each add to a potent mix.

Under The Skin   Fri   1/10   Film4 @ 01.30

There's a woman luring the men of Glasgow into her van with the promise of sex and well...... I'll be honest, you just have to see this one for yourself. Jonathan Glazer's 2013 film is one that defies description. It's a haunting, terrifying, sensual and mesmerising tale that will worm it's way into your head and mingle with your dreams for weeks to come. Scarlet Johannson carries the film with a brave, deeply disturbing turn.

Under Siege   Fri   1/10   ITV4 @ 21.00

The USS Missouri battleship has been hijacked by terrorists and it's up to Navy Seal turned head chef Casey Ryback to put aside the bouillabaisse and take care of business. This one is way better than you remember, a well paced and carnage packed slice of 90's action cinema. Steven Seagal does surprisingly decent work as the most dangerous chef in the universe but Tommy Lee Jones, a manic Gary Busey and Colm Meaney's turtle neck jumper are what will stay with you.

The Devil Rides Out   Fri   1/10   Talking Pictures TV @ 21.05

In 1929 a nobleman finds himself in the fight of his life as he strives to defend himself and his friends from a gang of satanists and the demonic onslaught they conjure forth. Christopher Lee excels in the lead role in this unsettling, atmospheric and beautifully shot film adapted by Hammer productions from the famous book by Dennis Wheatley. The effects might be aged but the scares are still powerful. A wicked way to start off the spooky season.

If you've found something new or even an old fave a retweet is always appreciated. Thank you.

The Many Saints Of Newark

The Many Saints Of Newark opens with a camera crawling through a graveyard filled with headstones of Italian Americans and a narration from a familiar voice. If you haven't seen The Sopranos and this is your first introduction to their world then you'll face a massive spoiler from the off. TBH if this is all new to you, you won't get what all the buzz was about at all. If it's not new to you, you may will end up sorely disappointed by what you're about to see. 

"It’s good to be in something from the ground floor. I came too late for that and I know. But lately, I’m getting the feeling that I came in at the end. The best is over."

One of the best remembered quotes from The Sopranos. Tony Soprano talking to his therapist Dr Melfi about a time long gone. A time we never got to see apart from the odd flashback. A time David Chase has been talking about revisiting for what seems like forever. Now 14 years after that (in)famous cut to black we get to go back and take a proper look at Newark of the 60's and 70's and the people who inhabited it. We might even get to see who turned T into the man he was. 

Eh......

Dickie Moltisanti (Alessandro Nivola), man about town, a connected guy, an up and comer in the Di Meo crime family of  New Jersey. Him and his cousins Johnny Boy Soprano (John Bernthal) and Junior Soprano (Corey Stoll) are making names for themselves but it's not all peaches and cream for Dickie. His wife is having trouble conceiving and his father, Hollywood Dick (Ray Liotta), has a new wife, Giuseppina (Michela De Rossi), who's been catching his eye lately while a former employee called Harold MacBrayer (Leslie Odom Jr) is off doing his own thing. Oh and Newark is burning down all around them. Away from the criminal side of things is his nephew Tony (Michael Gandolfini), a teenager torn between two worlds, one represented by Dickie, Johnny and Junior and the other by his overbearing mother Livia (Vera Farmiga). The streets of Newark are packed with many saints. Which of them will succeed in getting into his head?

It's been a long time since I left a cinema this disappointed. Fans going in expecting mob warfare and a multitude of bloody murders will be let down. Fans expecting a deep dive into the dysfunctional family of Tony Soprano will be left wanting. Anyone looking forward to the comedy genius the show was once capable of will be totally disenchanted. Those clever storylines knocked sideways by leftfield plot developments are nowhere to be seen here. What you will get are numerous anti climactic moments, dreadful impersonations of characters you once loved and a feeling that this should have been so so much better. Longtime watchers will remember numerous times when you expected the show to go one way before it went off somewhere extremely unexpected. Richie Aprile's faithful dinner with Janice, Tony B's countryside hideaway, the Pie-O-My incident, the Pine Barren's saga. Out of the blue twists that turned into water cooler moments. It was never what you expected but you didn't care because you knew these characters and wanted to spend time with them no matter what they were up to. Here we get Dickie Moltisanti, who like his son Christopher, is a weak, selfish asshole, but unlike Christopher, we've no emotional attachment to him, we couldn't care less how his story goes, so when the expected Sopranos about turn, that you'll see coming from a mile away, happens all you think is "Is that it?" We just don't get enough time with him to care about him and his story just falls flat.

Tony's side of the story is more successful because we knew him intimately, we knew what he's about, the kind of man he grew up to be. We knew he had a human side and here we get to see it in spades, he wants to be good, he cares about his family and watching Michael Gandolfini step into his father James's shoes to play the role that made him famous is goosebump inducing stuff. The mannerisms are down cold, the sulks, the sideways looks, the fact that he looks so like him. A kitchen scene with his mother Livia will bring you right back to season 1 of the show. You know there's love there, but there's an edge, a coldness too, a sense it could all go bad with one wrong word. It's the best scene in a film that should have been full of brilliance. Vera Farmiga nails it here without feeling like an impression of Nancy Marchand. Unfortunately, as good as Gandolfini is as Tony, we never really get a sense of why he took the direction he does and just as the film starts to tell us it finishes with a pinky swear, some familiar music and another "Is that it?"

'Impressions' is a word that will linger in your head long after you've seen this. Especially John Magaro's excruciatingly bad turn as Silvio Dante. The Silvio of the show was mostly comic relief, always there to reign Tony in, ready to settle things with a joke or a Michael Corleone imitation but Steve Van Zandt made the part his own, made him feel real. Magaro plays him like something you'd hear in a pub, a broad copy and paste version and it's just dreadful. Corey Stoll's Junior is almost as bad, a man made of clumsy awkwardness, social faux pas's and genitalia references whenever things don't go his way. Stoll's performance feels like it took an awful battering in the editing suite and on numerous occasions you'll wonder just how much story was cut out to hit that magic 2 hr running time because it just feels way too clipped and choppy in parts. Then in others it feels like David Chase had a checkpoint of things he wanted to squeeze in as nods to fans of the show as familiar surnames like Overall and Piocosta fly by, Holsten's diner appears knowingly, we spend a minute or two with characters like Paulie Gualtieri (another awful impersonation of Tony Sirico's brilliant creation by Billy Magnusson) and Pussy Bonpensiero, see glimpses of Carmela DeAngelis, Artie Bucco and Jackie Aprile, even Hesh Rabkin gets mentioned in passing. It's purely fan service and all it will do is remind you of what could have been.

There might have been a great miniseries here. Five or six hours to let the story breathe, let us get to know the new faces and give us more time with the old faves. Instead we get a two hr story of two halves, one a history lesson about Newark combined with a half hearted introduction to someone we barely get to know and the other a top heavy nostalgia fest that never lives up to it's promise.

The Many Saints Of Newark is out now in cinemas. I really hope Sopranos fans like it more than I did.

The spooky season is close

 It's getting near the spooky season and it feels like a night for a classic

The last time I watched this was with the Limerick cinema club in the Odeon cinema 4 or 5 years ago. We jumped at the chance to see it on the big screen and horror films are always fun with a crowd. Tickets were bought and in we went. In the corner was a Michael Myers mannequin and i thought to myself I'd go over for a look before I took my seat. As I got close the fucking arm shot up and there was a butcher's knife in it's hand. Mannequin my eye. I yelped and scarpered to my seat hoping that no one saw either the yelp or the scarper. Once my heart rate went back to normal there was plenty of fun to be had watching others fall for the same thing.

Watching the film wasn't as much fun. Half the audience laughed throughout the film ruining it's perfectly crafted tension and scares. Maybe they were scoffing to cover up how scared they were or maybe they were just dicks. When you're laughing like a hyena it's hard to appreciate just how good of a film it is. That gliding camerawork and those long takes and how director John Carpenter took full advantage of Dean Cundey's widescreen cinematography by having Michael appear at the edges of the frame and scaring the living fuck out of you even when you know it's coming. 

Tonight I'm watching it the way it's most effective. Alone and with the lights off. 

It's working.

1000's of free films

Any interest in giving yourself a free film education? 

Pop on over to the Internet Archive and fill your boots. 

If you're one of those goodie two shoes who thinks torrenting is naughty or who finds watching films on youtube morally dubious then this is the perfect spot for you. Everything here is public domain meaning they've fallen out of copyright and are free to be distributed online. It's a film lovers paradise. The quality isn't perfect but fuck it, you can't have it all.

Check out the Film Noir section for example. The Killers, Double Indemnity, DOA, Laura, The Hitch-Hiker, all just on the first page. Watch those 5 and you'll be able to bluff your way through any film conversation the next time you're in the pub.

Horror and comedy fans have a treasure trove awaiting them too.

What are you waiting for?? Go!!

The nice side of social media

 Tonight's film. An absolute masterpiece from Abel Ferrara, chaos in human form.

I used to own it on DVD but had given it away when I moved to blu-ray assuming I'd get a new copy of it soon but the eye watering prices stopped me. Cut to last Tuesday on Twitter when I got into a conversation with a few friends about him and this film was mentioned. After a load of back and forth about how good it is I mentioned I'd still never bought it in HD because it was still too expensive. Seconds later I was offered a free copy and the next day it was in my hands. People say Twitter's a hellsite but it still has it's great points.

Guess what I'm watching tonight?

"THEY'RE FOR THE BULLET HOLES PUTA!!

My Son

Christian Carion's remake of his own 2017 film Mon Garçon is an interesting but failed experiment. Like Guillaume Canet in the original film lead actor James McAvoy plays his part without knowing the script or having any lines to learn. Working off a basic story outline his job is to react and improvise dialogue with the other actors onscreen who do have a script. The result is ..... well I'd like to say unique but the original film already stole that thunder.

Boring. There's the word we were looking for. Boring.

Edmond Murray (James McAvoy) has returned home to the Scottish Highlands from the Middle East to find his son Ethan who's gone missing while on a camping trip. There's no sign of foul play and there's nobody suspicious knocking around. No-one the police suspects anyway. Edmond's estranged wife Joan (Claire Foy, absolutely wasted) is now married to Frank (Tom Cullen) who Edmond has been instantly wary of but in the authorities eyes Frank is completely innocent. An altercation between the two leads to Edmond's arrest but a police mix up leaves him with a way to start his own investigation. 

It's a strange realisation when you're watching a film that's so dull it makes Taken look like a cinematic classic. Both films share a linked DNA but that's it. Because of McAvoy's improvisational part in the movie story has to be kept to a minimum and so we suffer through a plot as threadbare as a pair of socks you've held onto since the 90's because they were a present from someone you once loved. For whole swathes of the film Edmond doesn't even talk simplifying things even further and in one loooooong scene conceived with scant regard for viewer patience we watch him scrolling through phone videos of his son looking for clues. Deep dives into smart phones is investigative procedure 101 of course in this technological age but it certainly doesn't make for gripping viewing.

Then with clues found we enter a final act where everything should come together with some form of satisfaction but all we seem to get is rain and shadow, with a side order of damp and gloom with earlier red herrings coming to nought and a hint at something conspiratorial getting a one sentence conclusion. It's 95 minutes of your life you'll want back and at this stage of reading this you might be wondering why on earth anyone would stick with this film and there's one answer to that and it's James McAvoy. He's a great actor and it's a distinctive experience seeing the cogs turning in his head as he decides what to do and say next. It's not a particularly memorable performance but it's an interesting insight in the acting process and one we're unlikely to see again anytime soon, especially seeing as this film has been dumped off onto a streaming service (Peacock) that's way down the popularity pecking order. It's not a big stretch to think the money men behind this wanted it off their hands sharpish.

My Son is streaming online now. As experimental film making goes it had potential but the reality is disappointing. Still though, there's some lovely Scottish scenery I suppose.

17 films just for you on TV this week

The Vanishing   Sat   18/9   Film4 @ 21.00

Intrigue abounds on the Flannen isles, a small lookout far off the west coast of Scotland when a small boat crashes ashore and the three lighthouse keepers get very interested in the cargo they find. Based on a true life mystery from 1900 this thriller is shrouded in fog and a whole load of tension. A trio of committed performances from Connor Swindells, Gerard Butler and Peter Mullan keep things moving along nicely.

Chaplin   Sat   18/9   TG4 @ 21.05

In the early days of Hollywood a moustachio'ed little oddball called Charles Spencer Chaplin ruled the roost. He was as unlikely a star as you could think of and yet stole the imagination of the world. Long before Iron Man Robert Downey Jr was mesmerising as the lead of a Richard Attenborough directed biopic epic. There's a lot to learn here and thankfully it doesn't ignore the darker side of it's main character either. 

Nuts   Sat   18/9   RTE2 @ 23.35

Claudia Draper has just killed a client in self defence but because she's a prostitute her parents want her declared insane to avoid a scandalous trial. She's having none of it and decides to prove she did nothing wrong in court. This talkative drama from 1987 might seem old hat these days but a stunner of a turn from Barbara Streisand will keep you going throughout. Richard Dreyfuss and the mighty Karl Malden offer fine support.

Timecop   Sun   19/9   Great! Movies @ 01.40

Time travel has been invented and criminals are using it for nefarious purposes so the US government creates a new enforcement agency to police who can go back and forth. Max Walker is among the first to be offered a job. Jean Claude Van Damme's sci-fi actioner is as silly as films get but it's also exceedingly entertaining and crunchy and it's juxtaposition of past and present gives it a clever edge. Mia Sara, Ron Silver and Gloria Reubens prop up the acting side of things.

If Beale Street Could Talk   Sun   19/9   RTE2 @ 21.00

Tish and Fonny are a New York couple who are deeply in love but their happiness is dashed when Fonny is accused of a crime he could not possibly have committed by a racist cop with a grudge. Tish will not rest until he's free. A beautiful looking, vivid and evocative indictment of institutionalised racism and the trail of horror it leaves behind. Kiki Layne, Stephen James and an Oscar winning Regina King are all amazing here.

All About Eve   Sun   19/9   Talking Pictures TV @ 22.00

Margi Channing is worried that turning 40 will affect her acting career. She should be more worried about the fresh faced ingénue called Eve she's just taken under her wing. Eve's all sweetness and light. Nothing to stress about there. This 71 year old classic look at the lengths people will go to climb high still has a cutting edge today. It's performances still hit home too with Bette Davis, Anne Baxter, Thelma Ritter and a then unknown Marilyn Monroe all doing stellar work.

Boyz N The Hood   Sun   19/9   BBC2 @ 22.45

Crenshaw. 1991. Tre Styles is trying to navigate the mean streets as well as he can and his father and friends are sharing his journey through his teenage years. John Singleton's 1991 drama is a masterpiece of African American cinema. A warm, compassionate, humane and ultimately heartbreaking look at life in a country that sees it's black citizens as second class. Cuba Gooding Jr, Laurence Fishburne, Angela Bassett and Ice Cube do brilliant work.

Coogan's Bluff   Mon   20/9   TCM @ 23.05

Walt Coogan is feeling a little out of place lately, after travelling from Arizona to New York City to apprehend and return a murderer to his home state. It should be an easy collar but that would make for a boring film wouldn't it. The first of Don Siegel's films with Clint Eastwood might be set in the Big Apple but it's all western, and an enjoyable if dated take on the genre. Susan Clark, Don Stroud and Lee J. Cobb each bring something to the mix. 

Platoon   Mon   20/9   ITV4 @ 23.40

A new recruit finds himself torn between two sergeants in the earlier days of the Vietnam conflict. One represents hope and humanity, the other the horrors of war and the dark side of the human psyche. Oliver Stone's 1986 war drama was one that made audiences stare in horror at America's complicity in the atrocities of war and it's still a scathing watch 35 years later. Charlie Sheen. Tom Berenger and Willem Dafoe bring their best here.

Silverado   Tues   21/9   Great! Movies @ 18.25

A foursome of mismatched cowboys turns up in a small town run by an evil rancher and set out to change wrong to right. It's your quintessential western set up but it's so much fun and so well done that you can forgive any unoriginality. There's a superb cast in this too with Kevin Costner who always rocks it in this genre, Kevin Kline, Danny Glover and Scott Glenn all looking the part on horseback. Brian Dennehy's boo-hiss villain hits the spot too.

Charlie Says   Tues   21/9   Film4 @ 23.25

The summer of 1969 was a bloody time in Los Angeles and Leslie Van Houten, Patricia Krenwinkel and Susan Atkins had plenty of it on their hands after being commanded to kill by their cult leader Charles Manson. This new take on an old story offers an interesting point of view on two of the most famous acts of crime ever committed and three meaty turns from Hannah Murray, Sosie Bacon and Marianne Rendón drive the films point home.

The Red House   Wed   22/9   Talking Pictures TV @ 02.40

A teenage girl lives with her adoptive parents who've raised her since she was a baby. Now 15 years later she wants to explore the world and the building in the woods near her home that she's been warned away from has caught her eye. Edward G. Robinson, Allene Roberts & Judith Anderson provide serious heft to a murky and unsettling tale of past horror and it's rippling effects.

Whiplash   Wed   22/9   BBC2 @ 23.15

A driven jazz musician is pushed to his limits by his obsessive teacher. An Oscar winning film that actually lives up to the hype and a potent study of how hard people will work on what they love. Powerful performances from Miles Teller and especially JK Simmons really sell the film. This is a stressful watch and one that will genuinely leave you shattered but wowed as the credits roll. That last 10 minutes is something else.

I Walk Alone   Fri   24/9   Talking Pictures TV @ 00.55

Frankie and Noll, prohibition partners in crime. Promises are made of friendships forever but when Noll goes to jail Frankie moves on. Then when Noll gets out he finds out just how far on. This week's slice of film noir is the first film of many that Kirk Douglas and Burt Lancaster made together. A lean, economical watch filled with moody stares, hard boiled dialogue and a memorable showing from Lizabeth Scott as a gangster moll par excellence.

Mid90s   Fri   24/9   Film4 @ 22.50

Stevie's twelve and he's just discovered the joys of skateboarding. With boarding comes new friends and new experiences but it's also a source of conflict between him and his mother and it's creating a rift between him and his older brother. Jonah Hill's directorial debut isn't perfect but it's harsh and frank look at coming of age in a place where innocence doesn't exist will get under your skin. Sunny Suljic's a strong lead and someone to look out for in the future.

A Monster Calls   Fri   24/9   BBC1 @ 23.25

A broken boy is having a hard time. His Da is gone, school is miserable and his Mam is sick. And now something has begun to menace him. But it's not what you think. A slap in the face of a film, and a look at grief through a child's eyes that will floor you, fill you with fear and eventually leave you an emotional wreck. But in a great way. Lewis MacDougall, Felicity Jones and Liam Neeson all nail their parts.

Ghosts Of Mississippi   Fri   24/9   RTE1 @ 23.25

In 1963 Medgar Evers was fatally shot in the back by a white supremacist called Byron De La Beckwith. It being the deep south the murderer was found not guilty but Medgar's widow Myrlie wasn't giving up on justice. This true life tale is a tough watch with James Woods very convincing (cough) as a hate filled bigot. Alec Baldwin leads the film as a prosecutor but it's Whoopi Goldberg's poignant turn as Myrlie that will stay with you.

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Gunpowder Milkshake

"You are a strong, smart, incredibly impressive young woman. There's not a single person on earth I'd rather kill people with."

"Thanks Mom."

If you watched last week's new Netflix action thriller Kate you'll get a strong sense of deja vu when you watch Gunpowder Milkshake. Both are films bathed in gaudy shades of neon about female assassin's that end up protecting children along the way. Kate doesn't have Angela Bassett in a supporting role rocking a pair of claw hammers though. But can something as undeniably cool as that make a movie?

Sam (Karen Gillan) is a hitwoman for an organised crime gang called The Firm and she's literally deadly at her job. She's their golden girl, their ace in the hole and of course their fall guy when things goes wrong and when a rival mobster's son gets in the way of one of her bullets they decide not to back her up to avoid a war. The only people she can turn to are the librarians, (Carla Gugino, Michelle Yeoh & Angela Bassett) a sisterhood of assassins who worked with her mother Scarlet (Lena Headey) back in the day. Her mother that disappeared without trace 15 years beforehand. If there were ever a more perfect time for her to reappear it would be right now. Oh and she's a child to protect now too, picked up along the way, a young girl called Emily (Chloe Coleman) who's interested in the carnage cropping up all around her.

Gunpowder Milkshake will genuinely try your patience in it's opening 30 minutes. All it's pieces are slid into place, all it's exposition is gotten out of the way fast but it's all done in a cringy, quirky, cutesy faux noir fashion that will make you want to hide behind your hands while setting up a world that's John Wick-ian in everything but name. Assassin's are everywhere, controlled by underground networks, instead of exclusive New York hotels it's 50's diners where meetings take place and sanctuary is sought. It looks and feels tacky, flimsy and cheap while Karen Gillan feels totally out of place as supposedly the best assassin around. Then a bowling bowl strikes a face. It's just what the doctor ordered.

It's vicious, a bowling alley bust up that really kicks the film into gear. Faces and limbs are wrecked, Gillan displays a wicked physicality, people are taken out Van Helsing style(!), you'll laugh and you'll cringe in equal measure. Then Sam goes to get her wounds looked at and ends up in an even worse predicament that turns into some highly inventive and bloody Buster Keaton style slapstick and one of the more unique car chases you'll see onscreen this year. We barely get a chance to breathe and then we get to see what old school assassins can do. We won't go into details here but suffice to say you'll have fun watching the patriarchy get taken apart piece by piece by Bassett, Yeoh, and Gugino to the fiery sound of Janis Joplin.

The patriarchy. A lot is made of it in this film, the problems it's caused, it's lack of understanding or want to understand. A speech made in the film comes from a man who calls himself a feminist but who makes no attempt at getting to know women or empathising with them. The reply is a shotgun blast. In the moment it's funny but it does speak to a shallowness in the script. Why make a statement like that and do nothing with it? Writer/director Navot Papushado is all about the surface pleasures here meaning you'll have a good time watching but remember little later. 

If you like your gory gunplay with a side order of laughs you'll enjoy this. If you want something deeper you may have to look elsewhere. In Cinemas and on Sky Cinema from tomorrow.

Fuck

Just managed to delete this week's films on tv post. And rage quit out of the open window instead of pressing CTRL + X to bring it back.

Fuck.

Malignant

The last 30 minutes of Malignant are as warped and violent as mainstream Hollywood horror gets and it's here the film earns it's 18 certificate, in a time when that little red circle rarely gets bandied about anymore. The only issue is it's a struggle to get to here because the hour or so beforehand is as boring and bland as mainstream Hollywood horror gets.

Madison Lake (Annabelle Wallis) gets her head cracked off a wall by her abusive husband and when he's found dead days later the full glare of the Seattle police department shines her way. Since the attack she's been having dreams and visions and during them she's seeing people, including her dick husband, being violently ripped asunder by a dark jittery figure without a face. The cops don't believe her and as people go missing and the bodycount rises they start closing in. The only person on her side is her sister Sydney (Maddie Hasson) who delves back into Madison's past looking for clues as to what's causing the horrific things she's seeing. What she finds is.........oh let's just say it's disturbing.

Director James Wan knows his way around a horror film, having directed numerous installments of Saw, Insidious and The Conjuring. He made the first Fast And Furious film to blast by the 1 billion dollar mark at the box office and repeated that feat with 2018's Aquaman. He obviously knows what he's doing behind the camera, some clever visual nods to classic 70's horror films show he's a fan of the genre and he has what it takes to create memorable films so quite why he felt the need to make the first 2/3's of Malignant so dull and derivative is anyone's guess. It makes the horror movie cardinal sin by being boring. Horror by it's very nature should never be boring. Under developed cops straight out of the cliche handbook, tropey horror sequences augmented to the hilt with CGI overkill ripped right out of his own Conjuring universe, a rinse and repeat cycle of stalk and slash murders by a demonic presence that looks like it crawled out of the Ringu television set. Worse of all is a dull heroine who does little but shriek and stare wide eyed. You'll be sitting there wondering why everyone is talking so much about this one....

Then it happens in a barren room, a screaming crowd, spitting and vicious, fists and feet flying and all hell breaks lose. Skulls split, arms shatter, bodies break and faces splatter (poetry), the camera turns into a whirling dervish as the screen turns red with blood and gore, going all John Woo by way of a certain famous James Cameron film (you'll know the one). It's giddy, it's nuts, you'll feel awful for enjoying it so much and then you'll wonder why the hell the rest of the film couldn't have been this much fun, this laced with the chaotic energy you know Wan is capable of. It's a welcome slice of insanity after 70 minutes of drudgery but it's just not enough to save the film. Fingers crossed the sequel will be able to spread the love a little more. Oh yeah, there's definitely going to be a sequel.

Malignant is in cinemas now. It finishes well but that mopey first hour is going to be a dealbreaker for most. Meh-lignant.

Copshop

"How did you do that?" "Let's put a pin in that for a minute shall we?"

"Was she with you?" "Does it really matter?"

"What's got you so curious?" "Curiosity"

Copshop is built around a deed we never find out about and questions that are never properly answered. It's driving force is a macguffin, something that sets events in motion but is unimportant in of itself. Like the suitcase in Pulp Fiction or the Rabbit's Foot in Mission Impossible III or the plots of so many Hitchcock films, it's a stance that might leave some viewers unsatisfied but when it's this much fun who really cares.

The cops of a small (by American standards) station deep in the Nevada badlands are having a quiet one. Bossman Mitchell (Chad L. Coleman) is all about his burgers and rookie cop Valerie Young (Alexis Louder) is craving action and when she gets sucker punched by Teddy Muretto (Frank Grillo, dripping with sleazy energy in his second Joe Carnahan film this year, the other being Boss Level) she's about to get more than she can handle. Conman Teddy's on the run from some bad men and his best chance of survival is being locked up behind bars. Unfortunately, Bob Viddick (Gerard Butler in full on lunatic mode), the man chasing him has the same idea and soon both men are state property, in a building packed full of firearms.

Joe Carnahan's latest film is an enjoyable one. A low budget action flick that doesn't take itself seriously at all and one that's confident enough to take it's time to let us get to know it's cast before ripping them all to shreds. Styled and soundtracked (that Magnum Force music will make you grin) like something that slithered out of the 70's, built around a premise that would have felt right at home in the late 90's when every crime thriller felt in thrall to Tarantino but without the need to pack itself full of knowing nods and cutesy pop culture chat. At once it feels very familiar while being it's own beast too. Like Carnahan's 2006 slice of madness Smokin' Aces it lets it's tension build before allowing all hell break loose but unlike Smokin' Aces you'll actually want to see people survive this bloodbath.

Primarily Valerie, the film's moral centre. She's green as they come but as cool as a cucumber under pressure whether it's performing an emergency trachaeotomy or changing a door security code as bullets and glass fly by her. It's a star making turn from Louder and between this and TV's Watchmen just watch her rise high. Grillo's Murretto's a real piece of shit and even though the film gives us little about him the menace and ick still pours off his manbun topped visage. In full on menace mode is Butler, playing a man who once chopped off a victim's leg and beat him to death with it. Even standing still in a cell he feels dangerous and his run in with a drunken frat boy will, depending on your disposition, either make you squirm or burst out laughing. Butler's the big marquee name but playing a supporting role here which is good because a little Viddick goes a long way, especially when the bullets start flying.

And that they do, revolvers, semi automatics, full on machine guns, all introduced early in amusing riff's on the Chekov's gun principle. Part of the joy of this is wondering how and when they'll be seen again and when they are Carnahan finds all manner of ways to keep the action interesting. Also keeping things on their toes when they threaten to slow down midway through is Toby Huss's psychopathic Tony Lamb who's first introduced carrying a bunch of kid's balloons before blowing someone's brains out. While channeling Curtis Mayfield or adoring his own gooey handy work he adds an interesting spark to proceedings and another layer of unpredictability to the film. Because that's what familiar feeling films like this need, uncertainty, a bit of murkiness, something to keep you guessing.

Copshop is out in cinemas now. It's good fun, it will make you laugh and it doesn't outstay it's welcome.

Kate

It's the fingers that will make you grimace first. An assassin has our heroine's hair grabbed in his fist and to escape she reaches back with her knife and cuts both her hair and his digits off and then before you even choke out a startled profanity she slits his throat and then rams the knife up into the soft underside of his chin until the blade bursts out of his nose. It's here you'll pause the film, look at the age rating and realise 15 cert films have gotten brutally violent these days. 

Kate (Mary Elizabeth Winstead) is goosed. She's an American woman who's been working as an assassin for a Japanese Yakuza syndicate since she was a child. As an orphan she was trained for her bloody future by an American handler called Varrick (Woody Harrelson) and years later after carrying out a hit that goes against her personal code of ethics she decides she wants out and she's told she'll gain her freedom after one final job. Ahh the final job, always a disaster. As soon as she tries to carry it out she realises she's been poisoned and now she must find out who's responsible before the sins of her past come to take a fatal bite out of her future.

John Wick crossed with D.O.A. That's Kate in a nutshell. It's never good when you can describe a film as a simple combination of others. That's how derivative Kate is. It hasn't an original idea in it's head and it's twists are ones you'll see coming even if you're looking at your phone (don't be that person btw, those people are dicks). All it's missing is a child for Kate to loo......oh no, that old cliche gets rocked out too when she finds herself saddled with Ani, a teenage girl who's life has intertwined with Kate's in a rather unpleasant fashion. With her along for the ride will Kate find a new found reason to live?? Yeah, those aul tropes just keep coming don't they.

But now, here's the thing. Despite all of that Kate's an entertaining watch because of Kate herself. She knows she's fucked so she doesn't give a fuck anymore. With no fear of dying there's no need to worry about being killed. She blitzes through roomfuls of yakuza like a warm knife through room temperature butter. Japanese paper walls are soaked through with gallons of blood in sequences that will have you laughing in disbelief at their viciousness and just when you think the optics of a white American murdering dozens of Japanese men might be a bit iffy in pops Jun Kunimura, a very familiar face in Japanese cinema as head crime boss Kijimato to add a whole dose of cool and make things a bit less lopsided. His time to shine in the climax comes in the form of a swordfight so expertly carried out it would make Zatoichi himself turn to the screen and give us a thumbs up.

But it's Winstead in full on, invincible, Jane Wick (Yes I know, I hate myself for typing that too) mode that powers us along, putting in an intensely physical and believable turn. There's no quick cutaways or murky camerawork here, she's in the middle of every neck stabbing, head pulverising scrap. One slo-mo snippet of her on the way to make her destiny is guaranteed to be GIF material for years to come. She's so enjoyable in the titular part that it goes a long way to help cover up the films deficiencies, one of whom is Harrelson surprisingly. Usually a reliable face in a film, here it feels like he's in it for a quick payday, getting all of 5 minutes screentime and roboting his way through them.  As Ani Miku Martineau will have you wanting her to get in the way of a stray bullet seconds after Kate meets her but to her credit, she will start growing on you, especially she she figures out the improper use of a meat tenderiser. 

Director Cedric Nicolas-Troyan has an eye for cool visuals, and is obviously capable to creating some great, well lit, easy to follow action. Hopefully his next outing will have a script to match his skills.

Kate is out now on Netflix.

17 films on TV this week that are worth watching

Vice Squad   Sat   11/9   Talking Pictures TV @ 21.00

A sex worker called Princess is coerced into working for the rule breaking vice squad of the LAPD to take down a murderous pimp and wouldn't you just know it, things go wrong and she finds herself in a lot of danger. This is b-movie heaven, sleazy, funny, violent as hell and powered along by a terrifying turn from a vicious Wings Hauser. Season Hubley creates a heroine you want to see make it to the end credits.

Take This Waltz   Sat   11/9   TG4 @ 21.40

Margot meets Daniel on a plane. Their attraction is instant and obvious. However Daniel not only turns out to be Margot's neighbour but Margot is also married to a man called Lou. Sarah Polley's 2011 drama is a frank and mature look at the highs and lows of living and loving. Michelle Williams as always is splendid and a surprisingly restrained turn from Seth Rogen will make you wish he'd lay off the fart and drug jokes he's known for more often.

The China Syndrome   Sat   11/9   RTE1 @ 23.45

Jane Fonda leads an all star cast in this 70's set tale of a near catastrophic failure in a nuclear plant and the reporter who wants to get the information about it out to the wider world. Yet another 70's thriller full of post Vietnam & Watergate paranoia which has always made for intriguing cinema. Fonda and Jack Lemmon are excellent in this thought provoking and chilling little drama.

Britt-Marie Was Here   Sun   12/9   BBC2 @ 00.20

Life takes a wild twist for Britt-Marie when her marriage that's taken up most of her life crumbles and she finds herself alone, in her mid 60's, in a new town and about to take up a new and exciting job. A heartwarming watch from Sweden about having the guts to step away from what makes you miserable and the bravery to step into the great beyond. Pernilla August, who Star Wars fans might recognise, does fine work in the title role.

Johnny Guitar   Sun   12/9   TCM @ 08.55

Vienna owns the town saloon & maintains a love/hate relationship with the ranchers and railroad workers that frequent it. One day a false accusation brings all manner of trouble to her doorstep. A unique western, one of the first headlined by a woman and one that's kind of unusual and oddly poetic while still hitting the beats you'd expect. Joan Crawford is a blistering lead and watch out for those craggy genre faces like Ward Bond and Royal Dano in the background.

Sorry To Bother You   Sun   12/9   BBC2 @ 23.00

A black man in Oakland, California gets a job as a telemarketer and realises he's much better at his job when he pretends to sound like a white man. With success however comes responsibility and with responsibility comes a hell of a lot of weirdness. Boots Riley's 2018 film is a hard one to categorise but it's certainly the wackiest film you'll see this week. It's a lot of fun too, don't worry. LaKeith Stanfield and Tessa Thompson do well leading a stacked cast.

Seraphim Falls   Mon   13/9   Great! Movies @ 00.55

The American civil war is coming to an end but the violence is far from over. A knifesman named Gideon is wounded and being chased across the wilderness by a gang of men out for revenge. Why are they chasing him though? Liam Neeson and Pierce Brosnan have gone on record saying this was the best time they ever had making a film and it shows. It's an entertaining watch, laced with dark humour and a welcome side of weirdness. Angelica Huston & Tom Noonan add to the stew.

Molly's Game   Mon   13/9   TG4 @ 21.30

Everything Molly Bloom puts her mind to works out swimmingly and when she starts an illegal high stakes poker game in Los Angeles she's soon the talk of the town. The law even starts to take notice. Carried by a powerhouse turn from Jessica Chastain this is a compelling if overlong watch that delves into the underground of tinseltown and that makes it tick. Idris Elba and Kevin Costner offer solid support.

The Final Girls   Mon   13/9   The Horror Channel @ 23.00

A young woman brings her friends to see a tribute screening of her late mother's most famous horror movie. She's ashamed of her mother's career but must get over it fast when they are magically transported into what's happening onscreen. Yes it sounds silly but it's actually a really funny and affectionate spoof of 80's horror that laced with a surprising amount of heart. Taissa Farmiga, Alia Shawkat, Adam Devine and Thomas Middleditch play their parts well

The Girl On A Motorcycle   Tue   14/9   Talking Pictures TV @ 00.35

Rebecca's done with her husband. She wants out and decides to zip off to Germany on her motorcycle to see the other big love of her life. On the way she indulges in all manner of mischief. Mischief that caused this film to be the film film ever rated X in America. It's tame now but it's still an interesting and watchable curio and a real insight into the late swinging 60's era it was made in. Marianne Faithfull and Alain Delon are perfect for their parts.

The Naked Truth   Tue   14/9   Film4 @ 15.00

The editor of a gossip magazine has a nice sideline in blackmail involving the names appearing in print. If they give him money he'll keep schtum about them. Eventually a group have had enough and decide to quieten him properly. This is an amusing watch, seeing prim and proper 1950's genteel Englishness fly out the window as scores need to get settled. Dennis Price, Joan Sims, Peggy Mount, Peter Sellers and the always hilarious Terry Thomas add nicely to the mix here.

Awakenings   Tues   14/9   Great! Movies Classic @ 22.00

For almost 5 decades the victims of a encephalitis epedemic have been locked away in their own bodies and minds, catatonic, ignored, forgotten. Until a new doctor appears, with new ideas and new drugs that have astounding results. Penny Marshall's true life drama from 1990 will kick the heart right out of your chest but it will also make you smile and give you hope. Robert De Niro, Penelope Anne Miller and the much missed Robin Williams do superlative work.

Wild Rose   Wed   15/9   Film4 @ 21.00

Rose is fresh out of jail and she has a plan to ensure she stays out. She has an astounding voice and wants to use it to become a Nashville star. The only problem is she lives in the ropey end of Glasgow and no one believes in her. Ireland's own Jessie Buckley is astounding in the lead role of a film about never giving up and never ever backing down. Even if you aren't a country and western fan this film will get you in the feelings.

Gunda : Mother Pig   Wed   15/9   BBC4 @ 22.00

A simple story of a mammy pig, her little baba's, a couple of moo cows and a one legged chicken. In black and white. With no dialogue. No, wait, why are you running away?? Come back. This 2020 documentary from Norway is a mesmerising watch, moving in a way you'll only understand if you watch it and even funny in places. Trust me on this one.

Pet   Thur   16/9   The Horror Channel @ 22.45

Seth fancies Holly. She has no interest in him whatsoever. Instead of moving on he decides to kidnap her but oh man has he made a huge, huge mistake. From the off you'll think this is going to head down the Saw/Hostel route but it's thankfully a different beast with a story trajectory you'll never guess. It's disgusting in places but it's twisty turns and dark comedy will keep you watching. Ksenia Solo and Dominic Monaghan do nice work as the leads.

Youth   Fri   17/9   Film4 @ 01.30

70 year old Fred's taken a much deserved holiday with his daughter and his best friend in a spa in the the Swiss Alps. Life is good and laughs are plenty until a job offer arrives and makes both men reminisce on what's gone and think about what's to come. There's an air of pretension around Paolo Sorrentino's 2015 drama but there's tenderness and humanity there too and effortless turns from Michael Caine and Harvey Keitel make it sing in places.

Law Abiding Citizen   Fri  17/9   Virgin Media One @ 22.00

Tragedy strikes a family and a grieving father takes justice into his own hands. Another father, on the other side of the law has to deal with the fallout but what he thinks is the end is just the beginning. This graphically violent 90's throwback was scoffed at on release for it's far fetched storyline but it's a satisfying watch. If you can stomach it that is. Gerard Butler, Jamie Foxx and the great Colm Meaney bring a nice heft to their roles.

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