17 films on TV this week that you might enjoy

Evil Dead II   Sat   29/1   The Horror Channel @ 21.00

Ash Williams returns to the cabin in the woods in a fantastic sequel that is probably the most amusing horror film ever made. A group of friends on a holiday find an ancient book and make the mistake of reading from it. Bedlam ensues. Director Sam Raimi delivers an amazingly inventive film that mixes the slapstick of Looney Tunes cartoons with gallons of blood and the end result just rocks. Bruce Campbell's all time best role.

Adrift   Sat   29/1   TG4 @ 22.35

A newly engaged couple are offered the opportunity of a lifetime when they are tasked with sailing a boat across the Pacific ocean by it's rich owners. The pay is nice and they'll have all the time in the world together. But there's a storm coming, literally and figuratively. Based on a true story it's a hell of a stressful watch and a paean to the human desire to survive. Sam Claflin is good but Shailene Woodley owns the film.

Apostasy   Sat   29/1   BBC2 @ 23.30

Ivanna, a Jehovah's Witness has her existence thrown into freefall when her daughter Alex breaks the rules of the church and she's forced to shun her. And that's only the start of her troubles. This 2017 examination of one of modern life's harshest religious cults is a tough, upsetting tale but one that plays out without the need for histrionics or melodrama, instead relying on powerful turns from actors like Siobhan Finneran and Molly Wright.

In The Heat Of The Night   Sun   30/1   RTE1 @ 00.10

Mr. Corbett has been killed. Mr. Tibbs arrives to investigate his murder. Mr. Corbett died in the Deep South. Mr. Tibbs is Black. The Deep South doesn't like Mr. Tibbs. A classic that lives up to the name. Draped in a sweltering atmosphere it's a crime drama that will hook you from the off with two brilliant performances from Sidney Poitier and Rod Steiger. Sadly it's still a very topical story that will enrage you as much as it entertains you.

Lilies Of The Field   Sun   30/1   BBC2 @ 15.30

A drifting labourer crossing the Texan desert stops for water and stumbles across a group of German nuns struggling to eke out an existence there. They persuade him to help and soon start to see his appearance as a bit of a miracle. Sidney Poitier (again!) was the first black actor to win a best actor Oscar for his performance here and it's easy to see why. A warm and likable movie, ideal for a Sunday afternoon.

Ice Cold In Alex   Sun   30/1   TCM @ 18.20

A British medical unit is trying to get to Alexandria during the height of World War two but there's a wee problem. Well it's a massive one actually. The Sahara desert just happens to be between them and their destination. A lovely looking film packed with tension and with a surprising amount of humour created by it's memorable characters. John Mills leads a cast of recognisable English actors and the finale will leave you dying for a tall pint of something cold and bubbly.

Heal The Living   Mon   31/1   Film4 @ 01.55

A young man goes on a surfing trip with his friends. An older woman with a critical condition is keeping her illness to herself so as not to upset her family. Their paths cross in a heartbreaking manner. An upsetting French film no doubt but an important one that delves into the minutiae of grief and acceptance in a way most English language films avoid. Emmanuelle Seigner and Tahar Rahim are both excellent here.

Lady Macbeth   Mon   31/1   BBC2 @ 23.15

Katherine is a young woman leading a loveless existence in arranged marriage in rural 19th century Britain. Darkness descends on her life when she embarks on an affair with a farmhand. A tough film that will linger in your head long after it's over but it's really worth your time. It's the side of English period dramas we never get to see. Florence Pugh is an extraordinary lead in an intelligent and adult story.

Black Sea   Mon   31/1   Film4 @ 23.25

Submarine films rock. Sweaty, tense, claustrophobic cinema and Black Sea is a grand example of it. Jude Law plays Robinson, a experienced submarine captain on the search for a sunken u-boat full of nazi gold. Russians are looking for it too and the crew he's assembled aren't the most trustworthy of men. Black Sea feels like it's been put together from a dozen other films but it's more than the sum of it's parts, turning out very agreeable. Law, Scoot McNairy and Ben Mendehlson all do effective work.

Gambit   Tues   1/2   Great! Movies Classic @ 21.00

Nicole is a dancer. Harry's a cat burglar. Together they make an unlikely duo who conspire to pull off a perfect robbery. Which of course goes arseways. Doesn't it always. Every single time. An impeccable example of a heist movie with all the tropes and tension you'd expect but a highly enjoyable one to boot. A clever and diverting way to spend a couple of hours.  Michael Caine and Shirley MacLaine are fabulous as partners in crime.

It's Complicated   Tues   1/2   5Star @ 23.00

Jane and Jake have been divorced for a decade. Jake is remarried. Jane has a new man. So why would they make life hard for themselves and rekindle a lost love? This rom-com is a witty watch, full of laughs and spot on comic timing. Old pro's like Meryl Streep & Alec Baldwin mix with newer faces like John Krasinksi & Lake Bell to fun effect. Plus Steve Martin rocks up. What's not to like?

Elle   Wed   2/2   Film4 @ 01.05

Michèle is a successful businesswoman who's life changes when she gets assaulted in her own home. Her reaction to the attack is a struggle for others but Michèle has her own plan. Paul Verhoeven's comeback film is a harsh watch that may be triggering for some but it's also genuinely surprising and all held together by a tour de force performance by Isabelle Hubert. She's just flawless here and she'll keep you glued to the screen.

Table 19   Thur   3/2   CH4 @ 02.40

Eloise's job of head bridesmaid has been taken from her but her pride hasn't and so she knuckles down and decides to go to a wedding anyway but to add insult to injury she's been dumped at that odd table in the corner. Ignore the bad reviews, it's funny and painfully relatable if you've ever decided to head off to someone's big day all by yourself. Anna Kendrick, Craig Robinson, Margo Martindale, Stephen Merchant and Lisa Kudrow all add to the mix here.

The Silent Partner   Thur   3/2   Talking Pictures TV @ 03.15

Miles hates his teller job at the bank and when he realises the place is about to be robbed he decides to help himself in a manner that will be blamed on the robbery. But when news reports don't match up to his takings the robber gets rather miffed. A complex, intelligent, satisfying and exciting film with Elliot Gould, Susannah York and Christopher Plummer doing mighty work in well written roles. If you like 70's crime dramas you'll like this.

The Searchers   Thur   3/2   BBC4 @ 22.15

John Wayne plays Ethan Edwards, a man searching for years for his niece who has been kidnapped by a Comanche war party. But what are his intentions? A gorgeous looking and highly influential western (one shot of Wayne framed by a doorway has been homaged in dozens of films and shows), well acted by all especially Wayne and Vera Miles. One of the finest and most thoughtful westerns ever made.

Breaker Morant   Fri   4/2   Great! Movies Classic @ 13.05

During the Boer war of the early 20th century three Australian officers are court martialled for a shooting in a case used to deflect attention away from the horrifying crimes being committed by the men in charge. A masterful anti war drama that feels quite familiar to Kubrick's Paths Of Glory but the shades of gray here go deeper. Bryan Brown as Morant is a stunner and his final lines will stay with you for an age.

True History Of The Kelly Gang   Fri   4/2   Film4 @ 23.20

The Kelly gang and their leader Ned ran wild in the Australian outback in Australia in the 1870's. This 2020 film tells us their story from young Ned's first criminal experience to their fiery comeuppance. First off, it's a vicious and profane film that never shies from the harsh truths of frontier life so it will offend some but it's powerful stuff, telling a side of a legend rarely heard. George MacKay, Essie Davis, Russell Crowe and Nicholas Hoult all deliver muscular turns.

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Withdrawals

Over the past three weeks I've watched forty episodes of Yellowstone, a modern day western about ranchers in Montana and their battle to hold onto their land as modernity encroaches on them. I couldn't stop. It was so good. A show that felt like it was made with me in mind. I fell hard for the stories, the characters and that glorious scenery. One episode was never enough, ah sure I'll watch another one, go on, there's loads more to go.

And then there wasn't. I finally caught up. This is why I hate binge watching. This part. Waaaaahhhhhh. Now I've to wait until next year for more like a common shnook. I asked for spaghetti and marinara sauce and I got egg noodles and ketchup.

Video Nasty Rewatch part 40 - The Beyond

72 films were placed on the infamous video nasty list by the UK director of public prosecutions between 1983 and 1985 but only 39 of them were actually prosecuted for obscenity. The Beyond is the first of the unprosecuted 33 and it's probably the best of the bunch. Hmmm. Well, top 3 anyway. Lucio Fulci's most famous film is always going to be (what else) Zombie Flesh Eaters but The Beyond is his masterpiece. His beautiful, nonsensical masterpiece.

Also know as L'Aldila and 7 Doors Of Death, it wasn't well received during it's general release in 1981 but it's reputation grows yearly, especially amongst genre fans who can look past the ropey acting and dubbing and see the chaotic madness at it's heart, it's surreal evocation of Deep South life and an ending that is absolutely unforgiving and truly horrific. In places it veers close to full on arthouse horror but it's brutal set-pieces keep the pretension at bay. Set-pieces that put the film in the BBFC's crosshairs but more on that later.

Liz has come from New York to New Orleans after inheriting an old hotel and her plan is to renovate it and reopen it but from the start it's plagued with violence and death. A painter has a fatal fall from scaffolding after seeing something horrifying through a window and a plumber has his eyes gouged out (in close up of course) while investigating a basement leak. The bell for room 36 keeps ringing even though it's unoccupied while a blind woman in town tells Lisa some foreboding truths about the place she wants to make her future. 56 years in the past something hideous (shown in close up of course) happened in the basement and now the hotel is forever cursed. 

Gore aside Lucio Fulci was a hell of a dab hand at creating atmosphere and that combined with Goblin's creepy as hell score made even the cut to ribbons version of The Beyond a fan fave. Vast swathes of the film make no sense but you won't care when it's this unsettling and visually interesting. Fulci and his collaborator's admitted themselves that the film originated from a handful of death scenes Fulci had thought up of which they then had to write a story around to connect them up. For example late in the film Liz goes to visit a local architect to look at the plans of the hotel and when she leaves his building he has a tumble and paralyses himself and is slowly attacked by an army of tarantulas. For an arachnophobe it's a traumatic watch but it's an undeniably unique scene as his face is torn asunder (in close up once again). There's no point in questioning it. You just have to go with the flow. And maybe wonder about the psychology of a director obsessed with destroying eyeballs. Tarantulas do it, fingers, nails, glimpsing evil does it. It's the stuff of college theses. 

It's this ocular carnage that got The Beyond thrown right into the middle of the video nasties scare. Well that and Fulci's previous work. Throughout the 70's his work was extensively snipped and his latest was no different losing 1 minute and 39 seconds of the gooey stuff before it was deemed suitable for public consumption. A year later the cut version got released into the unregulated video market and it was of course a hit when fans of Fulci's previous films like Zombie Flesh Eaters and City of The Living Dead descended on it to enjoy it at home, even in it's censored form. In 1983 the cops swooped in and it landed on the nasty list only to be removed 2 years later after an unsuccessful obscenity prosecution. How the hell could it be considered obscene when every bit of gore was missing? The damage was done though and it's infamy was guaranteed. It took a further 17 years before it finally got an uncut, legal release in the UK and Ireland but in those years hardcore horror fans had turned it into a bootleg hit, sourcing uncut VHS copies in Amsterdam and selling piss poor copies all over the UK. 

Is it worth a watch? Yes. Gory moments aside there's imagery here you'll remember forever. Fulci may not have made a particularly coherent film but he made an astounding looking one.

Did it deserve it's notoriety? No, there's nothing here that would disturb a horror fan but that's looking at it from a 2022 perspective.

What's up next? The Boogeyman. A duffer. 

Previously

Video Nasties part 2 

Zombie Flesh Eaters

Werewolf And The Yeti, The

Tenebrae

SS Experiment Camp

Snuff

Night Of The Demon

Night Of The Bloody Apes

Nightmares In A Damaged Brain

Mardi Gras Massacre

Madhouse

Love Camp 7

Last House On The Left

Island Of Death

I Spit On Your Grave

House On The Edge Of The Park, The

House By The Cemetary,The

Gestapo's Last Orgy

Forest Of Fear

Flesh For Frankenstein

Fight For Your Life

Faces Of Death

Expose

Evilspeak

Driller Killer

Don't Go In The Woods

Devil Hunter

Cannibal Man

Cannibal Holocaust

Cannibal Ferox

Cannibal Apocalypse

Burning, The

Bloody Moon

Blood Rites

Blood Feast

Beast In Heat, The

Bay Of Blood

Axe & Anthropophagus

Absurd

Video Nasties - Time For A Rewatch

Nightmare Alley

For his 11th film director Guillermo Del Toro has left the supernatural behind. He's in film noir territory now adapting the novel of the same name from 1946. There's no giant human-like cockroaches here, no vampires who feed on other vampires by way of a sucker found under their tongue and definitely no ghosts who attack humans so violently that brains pour out of their fractured skulls. That said you'll still be shuddering as you leave Nightmare Alley. 

Animal lovers may meltdown but an early scene where Stan Carlisle (Bradley Cooper) watches a geek biting the head off a chicken in a circus freak show is thankfully, but very effectively, faked. He's walked away from his former life and has taken a job as a carny in the very same circus. He's always on the make, always looking out for people who's feelings he can worm his way into and soon enough two women are under his spell, one a young woman called Molly (Rooney Mara) who he has future plans for and another, a so called clairvoyant called Madame Zeena (Toni Collette). After he's learned her "psychic" bag of tricks he leaves the circus to start a new life with Molly and putting Zeena's knowledge to good use he soon becomes famous amongst the New York elite. Then one night he meets Dr. Lilith Ritter (Cate Blanchett) at one of his shows and a new plan starts to form in that head of his.

150 minutes. A ridiculous running time. It could have been worse though, rumour is GDT's preferred cut ran to 200 minutes. It's odd because some of it runs on for way too long but other parts of the film, primarily the first hour, set in the circus, would benefit from the extra minutes that make the second half of the film feel saggy. The world of the circus is beautifully drawn, full of awe struck wonder built on suffering and sadness, all grand guignol ghoulishness and brought to life by a group of actors (Willem Dafoe, David Straithairn and of course Ron Perlman is there, GDT's longtime muse) who in any other film would fill out a cast wonderfully, but here they sadly vanish halfway through. The relationship between Stan and Lilith becomes the film's primary focus and in places it slows the film to a crawl. The story starts feeling muddled but the as the third act comes into focus the story does gather up a nice head of steam that leads to that ending mentioned earlier and the full realisation (if you haven't seen the 1947 film adaption) that this is a full on morality tale in noir clothing. The story's dark cynicism and horrifying worldview get hammered home in a moment that will make you shudder with all it's hideous implications.

Bradley Cooper sells that final shot and every shot he's in up to that point, his Stan a multilayered creation, he's warm, he's charming, he's a master manipulator, he's vicious when needs be but he's also haunted by it, by his past, especially his very last act before he left home to join the circus. We don't find out why he did it but past brutality is hinted at and revenge is a dish literally best served cold, or freezing in this case. He's easily as good as Tyrone Power was in the original 1947 version, his movie star looks used to full effect to charm and corrupt all around him. Toni Collette and Cate Blanchett stand their ground against him, Collette especially in a part you'd happily watch way more of but Rooney Mara disappears into the scenery beside him, playing a part you'll struggle to remember anything about.

Nightmare Alley is in cinemas now. In usual Del Toro fashion it's dark, it's creepy and it's fantastic looking. It's also far too long and a bit messy but a killer lead turn from Bradley Cooper will keep you watching.

That first sunday morning after

 Ireland is going to be one big fucking hangover tomorrow morning. I really hope it will be worth it.

17 films on TV this week that you might like

Northern Soul   Sat   22/1   TG4 @ 23.05

It's grim up North but two young lads called Matt and John have found a way out. American soul music. Music that feels like it was written for them personally. Their passion for tunes brings them to the darker side of life. A bleak look at life in 1970's England but one filled with charm,vim and some fantastic music. Josh Whitehouse and Elliot James Langridge do affecting work as the leads of a film that's worth your time.

American Animals   Sat   22/1   RTE2 @ 23.45

Warren, Chas, Spencer and Eric. Four bright young college students. Four young men who really should have known better than to plan a heist from their own university. A story about pretentious fools who think the world revolves around them doesn't sound like fun but this is one gripping film that mixes in documentary footage to great effect. Nicely shot, wicked soundtrack and our own Barry Keoghan in the mix. How could you go wrong?

The Man Who Fell To Earth   Sun   23/1   Talking Pictures TV @ 01.05

The tall thin man wandering around New Mexico might look human, but he's not. He's an alien here on a mission to save his dying planet but the many temptations available on earth are getting in the way of his job. Nicolas Roeg's surreal 1976 science fiction drama is a cryptic, confusing, disorientating beaut of a film but it's the outlandish turn from David Bowie as the titular character than really makes it sing.

Personal Shopper   Sun   23/1   BBC2 @ 01.25

A young woman called Maureen is working hard in the Parisian fashion world. She's also engulfed by grief and sorrow after a family tragedy and she's waiting for a sign connected to an oath she once took. An unusual and unsettling drama to say the least that's best watched knowing as little as humanly possible. A restrained but emotive performance from Kristin Stewart makes Personal Shopper a compelling watch.

The Wretched   Sun   23/1   The Horror Channel @ 21.00

His parents are getting divorced but that's about to be the least of Ben's problems when he starts suspecting one of his next door neighbours of being up to no good. No good? How about down right evil. The Wretched will make your skin crawl but in a wholesome, old fashioned way. By the way, the wholesome part is a lie, it will freak you out in all manner of lovingly crafted ways. John-Paul Howard and Zarah Mahler are memorable in their parts.

The Souvenir   Sun   23/1   BBC2 @ 22.00

Julie's in film school and she has an idea in her head for her first production. Then she meets Anthony. He's a charmer but he has his secrets. Secrets that will pull her down into a deep and dark hole. This 2019 drama from director Joanna Hogg is a powerful look at the toll a toxic relationship can have on a person's psyche and it's sadly going to be a familiar watch for a lot of people. Honor Swinton Byrne, her real life mam Tilda Swinton and Tom Burke go very well together.

Paradox   Mon   24/1   Film4 @ 01.50

Pattaya in Thailand is a dark and sleazy place as Hong Kong cop Lee Chung Chi finds out when his teenage daughter is kidnapped while on holiday. So he does what all good fathers would do. A dark and violent thriller that will not be for everyone but it's worth sticking with for some cringe inducing fight scenes. Think film noir crossed with South East Asian cinema and you're there. Louis Koo is a solid lead.

Mr Brooks   Mon   24/1   Great! Movies @ 21.00

Earl Brooks is loved by all. He's a respected businessman. He gets his city's person of the year award. He's married. He has kids. Oh and he's a serial killer. A particularly crafty one at that. The film where Kevin Costner finally goes to the dark side and he does it brilliantly. The parallel plot line with Demi Moore playing the cop searching for him is not as well realised but there's a lot of ghoulish glee to be found here in seeing clean cut Costner cutting (Alliteration!!) loose.

Suffragette   Tues   25/1   Film4 @ 18.50

This is the story of the suffragette movement in early 20th century Britain and the hardships they faced in the pursuit of rights that women should have had all along. A rage inducing, angering, moving and stressful film but one that needs be watched by everyone. A finely tuned cast led by Anne-Marie Duff, Carey Mulligan and Helena Bonham Carter makes the whole thing barrel along too.

Double Indemnity   Tues   25/1   Great! Movies Classic @ 18.50

Time for a classic slice of film noir from master director Billy Wilder. An affair between a salesman and a married woman takes a murderous turn all in the pursuit of money. Barbara Stanwyck & Fred MacMurray are at the top of their game here but Edward G. Robinson robs the film out from underneath them as a man who just won't let things go. A crime masterpiece that truly lives up to the hype.

Face To Face   Wed   26/1   TCM @ 01.10

A teacher goes west looking for a dry, arid climate to help his health and along the way falls in with an outlaw gang who's values go against everything he believes in but as he spends more time with them things change. Sergio Sollima's 1967 spaghetti western isn't as famous as Sergio Leone's films but it's an excellent character study laden with all the style and shootouts you'd expect. Tomas Milian and Gian Maria Volonté are a wicked pair of leads.

Hangover Square   Wed   26/1   Talking Pictures TV @ 21.05

George Harvey Bone has been cursed with both a terrible name and a terrible affliction. He's a music composer but certain sounds make him black out and during these memory gaps he gets up to evil things. Despite being set in the early 20th century but it's film noir through and through and brought to eerie life by a stunner of a turn from Laird Cregar and by Linda Darnell as the singer who has the misfortune to cross his path.

Little Joe   Wed   26/1   BBC2 @ 23.10

Alice has taken a piece of her job home with her in an effort to please her son but it's after backfiring on her and now it's effecting both her familial and romantic relationships. Or is it? Who knows? Jessica Hausner's 2019 film is unconventional and a hard film to categorise but it's certainly an intelligent and unsettling watch with a soundtrack designed to keep you on edge. Emily Beecham, Ben Whishaw, Kerry Fox and Kit Conner all put in a strong shift here.

Benjamin   Thur   27/1   Film4 @ 02.00

Lack of confidence is killing Benjamin. His first film was successful but too much time has passed since and he's doubting himself into the grave. Then he meets Noah. Is he a catalyst for change? You might know Simon Amstell as an annoying music quiz show host but the man has talent and this charming comedy drama directed by him is proof of it. Downbeat, hysterical and led by a couple of super turns from Colin Morgan and Phénix Brossard.

The Swimmer   Thur   27/1   Great! Movies Classic @ 22.50

Ned is living the suburban life in a New England valley. One day he realises he can swim his way home via a series of swimming pools dotting the backyards of his neighbours. As he sets off on his journey he makes a connection with the people who own them. A strange and surreal but oddly funny story about a person trying desperately to hold on to a life he's not living anymore. Burt Lancaster is a spectacular lead.

Manchester By The Sea   Fri   28/1   RTE2 @ 21.30

Lee Chandler's brother has just died and now he has to go home to deal with funeral arrangements. The trip home also forces him to revisit the ghosts of his past. Kenneth Lonergan's 2016 drama is a tough watch, pushing us headfirst into the ongoing effects of grief and loss and all their repercussions. It's brutal, but it's humane and even humorous in places. Casey Affleck and Michelle Williams are both incredible.

Westworld   Fri   28/1   BBC1 @ 23.25

Westworld's a place where you can live out your wild west fantasies, you can be a hero or a villain and tourists get a taste of both when the artificial intelligence running the park goes faulty. Yes yes it's Jurassic Park with robot cowboys but it did come first. An enjoyable watch that rapidly becomes a scary one courtesy of a demonic Yul Brynner in a rare bad guy role. James Brolin & Richard Benjamin are a fine pair of heroes and keep an eye out for Alan Oppenheimer aka the voice of 80's cartoons.

If you discover something new here or even spot an old favourite a retweet is always appreciated. GRMA.

Belfast

The 15th of August 1969. The day Buddy (Jude Hill) lost his innocence. While running to dinner after being called in from play by his Ma (Caitríona Balfe) he finds himself caught in the middle of sectarian hatred when a Protestant mob storms his street to oust his Catholic neighbours. His family will be safe if they play the game but his Da's (Jamie Dornan) loyalty is called into question when he won't take part in the intimidation and violence going on all around them. Buddy just wants to play and learn and watch films, he wants to talk to the girl he likes in school and enjoy the company of his grandparents Pop (Ciarán Hinds) and Granny (Judi Dench) but real life is closing in fast.

Director Kenneth Branagh was born in Belfast in 1960 and his family moved to England in 1969 to avoid the violence of the Troubles. Buddy's his proxy here and so we get his view of a horrible time in Irish history through both rose tinted glasses and from a child's perspective. For his Ma and Pa, who never get first names because they aren't something that children ever call them, the tension around them is a constant source of fear and stress. For a 9 year old it's an annoyance and as such Branagh never lets the horror take over because we all know how bad it got up there, it's been the subject of a thousand books and songs and films and documentaries but we rarely get a glimpse at the lives lived behind the doors lining the city's streets, the people who weren't involved, those just trying to live normally and make sense of the chaos outside. One beautiful moment sees Buddy trying to learn about women from his Pop who openly admits he hasn't a notion either while Granny watches them from an open window just like the soldiers in the towers and helicopters above watch them. Happiness and horror side by side.

Like Paul Thomas Anderson's recent Licorice Pizza there isn't really much of plot as much as a collection of misty B&W (not watercolour) memories that will strongly evoke similar memories for the audience; the fear and exhilaration of indulging in and getting away with a spot of underage criminality, the joy of seeing your parents happy and the fear and confusion involved when they aren't, the tummy butterflies when you realise you fancy the girl beside you in class and that great feeling when the adults in your life stop talking to you like a boy and start talking to you like a man. Throughout we get these wonderful little moments between Buddy and his parents and his grandparents that get reinforced late in the day by that famous bible quote about putting away childish things from verse 11 of 1 Corinthians 13. He's not there yet though, the childish things are still important to him, to his parents who want him to stay a child for as long as possible, his matchbox toys, a trip to the cinema to see Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, an awestruck viewing of Tom Doniphon taking care of business in The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance. It's easy to see Branagh's real life influences here but it's one of them that takes from the film late in the day.

As was want to happen on the streets of Belfast a riot has kicked off and Buddy and his family are caught in the middle and Branagh makes a musical choice that will roll your eyes in your head. On paper it might have sounded like a heroic way to see Pa through Buddy's eyes but the reality is just cringeworthy and it kills any bit of suspense in the scene stone dead. It won't ruin the film for you but it will cheapen it a bit. It's a shame but it doesn't take away from the strength of the performances here at least. Judi Dench feels curiously underused until the end where her 87 year old face tells us a million stories without saying a word while Ciarán Hinds, Jamie Dornan and Caitríona Balfe all do superb work especially the latter during a tear-stained rant on a bus that leaves her husband speechless. It's Jude Hill's film though. Buddy's always onscreen or in the background while life happens around him. Sometimes Branagh just leaves the camera on his face as he listens to adult conversations and the sound design in these scenes conveys his understand and confusion to a tee. 

Belfast is out now in cinemas. It's black and white imagery looks glorious on the big screen, making an intimate tale feel epic. It's worth your time. 

And the film of the year goes to...

My most anticipated film of the year is coming out in just over two weeks time and to say I'm excited for it is a massive understatement.

 

I've managed to see every Jackass film in the cinema and each time left in pain from laughing at the absolute idiocy onscreen. The first one though. Nothing will top that one. Seeing it with friends who've since emigrated and others who've since passed away, I've great memories tied to it but the one that sticks with me was watching an elderly couple (70+) walking into the cinema and into their seats and we were watching them wondering had they wandered into the wrong screening? I was on edge waiting for them to freak out but it seems they knew exactly what they were doing and cried laughing along with the rest of us. Stupidity - suitable for all ages it seems. Speaking of age, look at the boys, a mess of gray hair and wrinkles but still not giving a single fuck. Genuinely something to aspire to. Especially now when there's no future for us.

This scene. If anything in the new film compares to this scene I'll be happy. Comic chaos soundtracked by The Ecstasy Of Gold. Just perfection.

If this doesn't make you laugh you're broken inside.

Video nasties part 2 - The other ones

Over the last 18 months I (slowly) watched all of the 39 prosecuted infamous video nasties and had a whale of a time doing so. Mostly. This year I'm going to watch the remaining 33 nasties that were unsuccessfully prosecuted and don't let the unprosecuted part fool you, some of these are far nastier than what people were jailed for in that strange time between 1983 and 1985.

Let's see what treats we have in store. There's a few stunners, some fun ones and a solid dose of muck. But there's no nazi shite this time around and that is always an upside. 

The Beyond - A masterpiece.

The Boogeyman - Not a masterpiece.

Cannibal Terror - Definitely not a masterpiece.

Contamination - Gooey alien fun.

Dead & Buried - A genuinely good, atmospheric horror.

Death Trap - Tobe Hooper joy.

Deep River Savages - Cannibal time with animal cruelty of course. I'll be watching the cut version here.

Delirium - No idea. This one is new to me.

Don't Go In The House - Patsy from The Sopranos is in this oddity.

Don't Go Near The Park - Another new one to me.

Don't Look In The Basement - Ditto.

The Evil Dead - The second masterpiece on the list.

Frozen Scream - Highly bizarre, can't wait to revisit.

The Funhouse - This should not be on any list, it's basically Scooby Doo.

Human Experiments - A load of shite.

I Miss You, Hugs And Kisses - The 4th new one to me and one I'm mad to see.

Inferno - Dario Argento joy.

Killer Nun - Wxactly what it says on the tin.

Late Night Trains - A truly disturbing film.

The Living Dead At The Manchester Morgue - One of the best zombie films ever made.

Nightmare Maker - Great psychopathic fun.

Possession - This is where the list goes all arthouse.

Pranks - The Porkies of the list.

Prisoner Of The Cannibal God - A good jungle romped ruined by the usual animal cruelty.

Revenge Of The Boogeyman - The worst film on the list.

The Slayer - Another Scooby Doo but really really violent.

Terror Eyes - The only Friday the 13th clone on the list.

The Toolbox Murders - Yup, exactly how it sounds.

Unhinged - This one would get cancelled on twitter as the kids say.

Visiting Hours - Michael Ironside as a psychopath. What more do you need.

The Witch Who Came In From The Sea - Surreal, nuts, disturbing, brilliant.

Women Behind Bars - Jess Franco time aka sleaze and utter boredom.

Zombie Creeping Flesh - Gory Bruno Mattei fun and all the cheapness that entails.

This will be fun. Fingers crossed I get them all done in the year. But..well...yeah. LOL.

Giddy

 

Who has two thumbs and just booked himself tickets to The Godfather trilogy in the cinema next month? I've seen the first two so many times I can quote entire scenes verbatim but the chance to get to see them on the big screen couldn't be missed. Sollozzo's murder, the stalking of Don Fanucci, going back to Sicily, Sonny on the causeway, Don Ciccio's villa, the baptism, Khartoum, "IT WAS YOU FREDO!". Oh man I am beyond giddy.

17 films on TV this week that should hit the spot

The Five Year Engagement   Sat   15/1   TG4 @ 21.35

Tom and Violet are happily engaged. Or they were happily engaged. Now they've just been engaged for a long time. Their friends and family are passing them by and things are getting strained to say the least. Like all modern day comedies it overstays it's welcome by about twenty minutes but the easy and believable chemistry between Emily Blunt and Jason Segal and the surprising depth on display makes it worth your time

The Angels' Share   Sat   15/1   BBC Scotland @ 22.00

Four Glaswegian teenagers on a road to rock bottom decide to pull off a whiskey heist to get themselves the means to get away from a miserable future. Director Ken Loach has weaved a delightful tale here. One that will upset you in places and give you a full on belly laugh in others. A warm look at the lives of people who are usually ignored. Paul Brannigan as Robbie is a talented chap.

Nightbreed   Sat   15/1   The Horror Channel @ 22.55

After his psychiatrist convinces Aaron he's a murderer, he goes on the run, now accused of killings committed by the psychiatrist himself. He finds refuge at Midian, a place where all are accepted, no matter how outlandish. Studio interference led to Nightbreed getting a disastrous reception on release but it's a genuinely well crafted and very imaginative film that will linger in your dreams. Craig Sheffer and the amazing David Cronenberg, in a rare acting role, do fine work.

Crank   Sat   15/1   ITV4 @ 23.10

After he's poisoned by Tirad gangsters a man has to keep his heart rate up high to survive. A quite insane and absolutely brilliant film. Jason Statham plays Chev Chelios with gusto. Whether zapping himself with electric paddles, OD'ing on red bull, starting fights he can't win or having extremely public sex, he'll do anything to stay alive. It's hilarious stuff but stay away if you are squeamish or easily offended as it is not for the weak of heart.

Gringo   Sun   16/1   RTE2 @ 00.15

Harold is a stressed out businessman who's work trip from Chicago to Mexico goes sideways spectacularly when he overhears his untrustworthy co-workers up to no good. Now the mild mannered fellow is in for a ropey couple of days. David Oyelowo is value for money as the lead of a twisting turning comedy thriller that isn't afraid to get dark. Charlize Theron and Joel Edgerton do well as a right pair of *censored* 

They Live   Sun   16/1   Film4 @ 01.55

Aliens have taken over society and only one man can see them. He's mad as hell and he ain't going to take it anymore. On the surface John Carpenter's action/sci-fi might seem loud and preposterous but it's actually a surprisingly intelligent and frighteningly prescient story about the dangers of capitalism and consumer apathy. Roddy Piper and Keith David have a whale of a time as the leads. Oh and there's a fistfight for the ages.

Torn Curtain   Sun   16/1   Great! Movies Classics @ 21.00

Professor Armstrong has done something unique. He's defected from West to East instead of the usual way around. Now he's behind the Iron Curtain and has information for Russia. Or does he? Who knows? Alfred Hitchcock does and his 1966 thriller is a memorable one and his only collaboration with Paul Newman who does nice work as a man with a plan and Julie Andrews backs him up admirably. The scene in the farm house is an all timer.

The VVitch   Mon   17/1   CH4 @ 00.55

The America's of the 1600's were a strange and scary place as one family finds out when they are shunned from their religious community and try to start a new life beside a dark and foreboding forest. Now here is a film that will leave you on edge for a long time before it truly frightens the life out of you.  There's nothing better than a horror movie that fully commits to it's premise. Anya Taylor-Joy, Ralph Ineson and Kate Dickie are all on fire here.

The Death Of Stalin   Mon   17/1   TG4 @ 21.30

1953. Moscow. Joseph Stalin has died suddenly and the Russian government is thrown into turmoil. There's a clash of egos and violence is sure to be close behind. Armando Iannucci's hilarious political satire is every bit as cutting as the TV shows he's better known and it's a decent history lesson too, giving us an insight into what made post war Russia tick. The cast is amazing with lively showings from Jason Isaacs, Paddy Considine and Steve Buscemi amongst others.

Loving Vincent   Mon   17/1   Film4 @ 23.45

A young man tasked with delivering the last letter written by Vincent Van Gogh finds himself troubled by the particulars of the artist's death and so starts to investigate the man's final days. The subject matter is dark and upsetting but it's one glorious looking animated film that was created by over 100 artists painstakingly painting each frame over the course of six years. Douglas Booth and Helen McCrory provide capable voice acting in one of the more unique film's you'll ever see.

Heaven Can Wait   Tues   18/1   Talking Pictures TV @ 11.35

Henry Van Cleve has passed away. At the gates of hell he requests entry, knowing that he lived a life that in his mind has earned him a place there. But the powers that be want him to prove his credentials first. Told mostly in flashback this 79 year old comedy drama is a touching and funny slice of technicolored sentimentality. Don Ameche is a winning lead and the unique Laird Cregar has a ball as Beelzebub himself

Shallow Grave   Wed   19/1   Film4 @ 22.50

Three young professionals are looking for a fourth to share their spacious Edinburgh apartment. Shortly after they find a person that suits them something happens that will really change their living arrangements. Danny Boyle's 1994 film debut is an effective and bitingly violent thriller that still has the strength to shock. Flashes of dark humour and captivating performances from Ewan McGregor, Kerry Fox and Christoper Eccleston ensure you'll find it all enjoyable.

Beatriz At Dinner   Wed   19/1   BBC2 @ 23.15

A holistic healer troubled by loss in her personal life goes to visit a client and gets stranded there after car trouble. She's asked to stay for a dinner party. One with guests who go against everything she believes in. You'll squirm hard during a social commentary laced chamber piece but you'll laugh too and you'll definitely leave it with some food for thought. Salma Hayek, Chloë Sevigny, John Lithgow and Connie Britton all add to a heady mix.

Hellraiser   Thur   20/1   The Horror Channel @ 00.40

A family moves into the father's childhood home and they soon realise they have made a massive mistake. Clive Barker's 1987 horror masterpiece is flat out disgusting in places but it's a seriously effective slice of grand guignol that has so far spawned 9(!!) sequels. The first one is of course the best and studded with intelligence and numerous moral shades of grey. Andrew Robinson and Clare Higgins do substantial work as a couple thrown headlong into a nightmare.

Wild   Thur   20/1   Film4 @ 23.20

In an effort to jolt herself back to life after her mother dies, a woman embarks on a hike along the full length of America's west coast with no previous walking experience. Reese Witherspoon is exceptional here, as strong as she's ever been. Darkly funny in places and harrowing in others but it's a film that will suck you in and demand you stay until the end. Laura Dern who appears in flashbacks as her mother is reliable as always.

The Crucible   Fri   21/1   Talking Pictures TV @ 21.05

The young women of Salem, Massachusetts are forced into a lie that has appalling consequences for the older members of the town when hysteria takes hold. Written by the great playwright Arthur Miller as an indictment of the McCarthy witchhunts in the 1940's this is a powerful, handsomely mounted and still topical story fuelled by a trio of stunning performances from Joan Allen, Winona Ryder and Daniel Day-Lewis.

Stake Land   Fri   21/1   The Horror Channel @ 22.45

The vampires have won. The world is a wreck, one that only comes alive at night when bloodsuckers leave their tombs to feed on the last remaining humans. Connor has been saved by a vampire hunter called Mister and now both are heading north to New Eden. Nick Damici's 2010 horror takes old cliches and gives them inventive and inspired new twists ensuring an exciting and nervewracking watch. Damici, Conor Paolo, Danielle Harris and Kelly McGillis work well together.

Retweets are always appreciated if you find an old favourite or discover something new. Thank you.

Scream

Scream? Not Scream 5? No? Just Scream? Jesus they aren't even trying are they. This opening scene definitely looks familiar. LOL, kids don't answer phone calls anymore. Ah here she's toying with the knife just like Drew did. This all seems very familiar.....ufff, that's kinda vicious. Wow, no one expected that outcome. Maybe there's a bit of life left in this horror franchise yet.

Yes. Horror.  Not elevated horror. Because fuck that term. 3 minutes into the film that horrible, eye-rolling term is invoked in a way that will instantly raise hackles in the audience. Oh god, we'd forgotten how people talked about horror movies in Scream. Oh no, memories of that cringeworthy film class scene in Scream 2 are rushing back to slap us in the face. Is Scream (grrr let's called it Scream 5 or 5cream) going to change tact? Is it going to drop the slasher movie element and inject a load of social commentary into the story to change things up? Is this why the Babadook keeps being mentioned? Is this why.......... FUCK, right through the hand!!! No, we're safe.

Ghostface is back and the town of Woodsboro is trembling. Tara Carpenter (Jenna Ortega) has been brutally attacked in her own home and her sister Sam (Melissa Barrera) is rushing across America to figure out what happened, dragging her boyfriend Richie (Jack Quaid, great fun) behind her. Sam got out of dodge years before because Woodsboro and it's former residents have a strange kind of hold over her and now that she's back she gets in touch with former Sheriff Dewey Reilly (David Arquette, as always the soul of the film) for help. Ghostface has been a part of his life for 25 years and he has an idea of how things are going to go so he reaches out to Sydney Prescott (Neve Campbell) and Gale Weathers (Courteney Cox) to warn them both to be ready.

The first Scream film made since Wes Craven passed away in 2015 is better than 50% of the Scream films he directed. It is most definitely in thrall to the original but the injection of new blood gives it a zing that's been missing since Sydney crawled over body of an unconscious Ghosface back in 1997 and we all nearly passed out holding our breath. The influx of new characters keeps it fresh and adds some much needed diversity but let's be honest, we're here for the O.G.'s, we want to see how things are with Sydney, Dewey and Gale. They've moved on, and have tried to leave their bloody past behind. The nostalgia is strong as they slowly trickle back into the narrative and some of you will definitely get moist eyed when Dewey's theme kicks in and you'll start to stress as our faves find themselves in danger again because this year's Ghostface is a brutal chap (or chapette, who knows?) and the killings have a particularly visceral edge to them this time around. This is a film that really earns it's 18 certificate.....the neck bit.....oh man that one will rattle your cage for sure.

Of course we get yet another "rules of horror" scene this time around too and it's here you'll really have to grin and bear it but at this stage it's part of the franchise DNA. It even gives us a cameo from the much derided Scream 3. It's meta. It's too meta. It's meta². Mary Sue's get a nod. Fan fiction. There's even a Stab blu-ray! It's a scene that plays up to horror fandom and gently mocks it at the same time and then the exceedingly bloody finale doubles down on all that's been said in a way that will set certain Reddit forums ablaze. The finale also picks up on a plot thread from earlier in the film that feels undeveloped and forgotten and uses it to immensely satisfying effect. So satisfying in fact that afterwards you'll think to yourself "I probably should not have enjoyed that so much."

"I probably should not have enjoyed that so much." Change that to "I didn't think I'd enjoy that so much" and that will be the general consensus on the latest Scream film. The end credits are proceeded by a title card that simply says "For Wes" and you feel he'd definitely give it his seal of approval. 

Scream is in cinemas everywhere now. It's good.

Another perfect pairing of sound & vision - The Derry Girls and Dolores

Joy and horror. Living in Northern Ireland saw both go hand in hand in the 1990's. Life pre-ceasefire was a scary one. You had to take your fun where you could find it and eccentric Orla McCool grabbed any opportunity for fun with both hands. Her new obsession is step aerobics and she doesn't care what anyone thinks of her.

 

She's the laughing stock of the school of course. But friendship drags her alienated friends back together and onto the stage to support her. They might have grown up problems but they're children and at their happiest laughing with each other. Even Sister Michael's heart of stone is melting at the spectacle. Not a thing on earth could ruin this mome....

The reality of life in 1990's Derry crashes down. Erin's family come together to watch the horror unfold. Even Grandpa Joe. Dolores O'Riordan's angelic voice brings us right back to that time and place in a way only music can. Those news reports we all dreaded from the North terrified us down here and yet life continued up there in a way unimaginable to us who never lived through it and this scene from the series 1 finale of Derry Girls feels like a perfect encapsulation of it all.

It's perfect.

Previous pairings 

The Devil's Rejects

Suspiria (2018)

Psycho

The Perks Of Being A Wallflower

Beautiful Girls

Breaking Bad

Ghost Ship

Southpark The Movie

28 Days Later

La Haine

The Skeleton Twins

Pat Garrett & Billy The Kid

Notting Hill

Summer Of Sam

Vamp

American Me

Beetlejuice

Rio Bravo

Hard Boiled
8 mile
Wheels On Meals
The Office (UK)
Do The Right Thing
Se7en
Mad Men
The Colour Of Money
Rules Of Attraction

Jackass II

Game Of Thrones 

Apocalypse Now

Blade

Big
Miller's Crossing

The Blues Brothers

Straight Outta Compton

The Princess Bride

American Honey

Snake In The Eagle's Shadow

On Her Majesty's Secret Service

The Untouchables

Airplane!

Dazed And Confused  

Kickboxer                                  

Grosse Point Blank

Mean Streets

Watership Down

Casablanca

Zodiac

Jackie Brown
The Good, The Bad And The Ugly
Deliverance
The Omen
Copland
Buffy The Vampire Slayer
The Mission

Before Sunset

Carlito's Way
A Knight's Tale
Platoon
Before Sunrise
Rushmore
An American Werewolf In London
Dazed And Confused
Boogie Nights
Raging Bull
Almost Famous
Once Upon A Time In The West
Goodfellas

Last Of The Mohicans