Video Nasty Rewatch part 10 - Cannibal Apocalypse

Now this one rocks. A 'Nam inspired nasty that stars none other than John Saxon. Number 10 on the list sounds like one of the real nasties but in reality it's a fun action thriller with a few gory moments. It's title got this one on the DPP list, nothing else.

It's 1980. The Deer Hunter has just set the cinematic world on fire. God knows why because it's boring as fuck but someone out there liked it. In Italy Cannibal films are all the rage. Some bright spark called Antonio Margheriti decides to combine the two and we, the audience, come out as winners. His idea was what if Vietnam vets came home but instead of psychological trauma they are carrying something far worse inside? A desire for human flesh and blood!!! That's the premise of Cannibal Apocalypse and it runs with it until it gets bored and becomes a chase film instead. In fact there's 3 or 4 different genres mixed up in this one and it's a whole lot of messy fun.

When Norman Hopper (John Saxon) was in Vietnam he got bitten by Charles Bukowski (John Morghen and not that Charles Bukowski), one of two POW's he helped rescue from the Vietcong and back home in Atlanta years later he's starting to feel a bit ropey. Coincidentally his ropey feelings come at the same time Charlie is released from the psychiatric ward he's been in since he went stateside and they really come to the fore when he's almost seduced by the next door neighbour's rather forward daughter. Before anything dodgy can happen he bites her and freaks her out. Meanwhile Charlie's prowling the streets of the Georgian state capital and before long he's murdered a shop keeper and holed himself up in a mall with cops on all sides. Norman talks him down but not before Charlie sinks his teeth into one of the boys in blue. Back in the hospital he loses it and him and the other inmate rescued with him in Nam go on a chomping rampage and Norman.....well Norman feels compelled to go on the run with his former army buddies. Misguided loyalty and all that jazz.

It has cannibal in the title but it's as far removed from Ferox and Holocaust as you could get. It's campy, bizarre, studded with funky tunes and chunky cardigans. It's blend of A-Team action and graphic gore feels uneasy at times and with a bit of judicious editing and overdubbing of profanity this could easily pop up on ITV4 in the morning between The Professionals and The Sweeney. But where's the fun in that. The nasties got their reputation for a reason and while this one feels a lot tamer than the next couple on the list there's still one genuinely memorable moment where Charlie gets his entire midsection punched out by a well aimed shotgun blast. It's gooey and displayed in all it's glory and yet another gory death for actor John Morghen aka Giovanni Lombardo Radice aka the whipping boy of Italian horror cinema to quote the great Kim Newman. He's an actor with a unique selling point on his CV. He's appeared and died horribly in 3 of the 39 nasties, being emasculated and debrained in Cannibal Ferox and disembowelled in The House At the Edge of The Park.

He gets the most memorable moment in the film but it's John Saxon that gives it a touch of quality. He passed away earlier this year but left a lovely body of work behind him, most famously Enter The Dragon, Tenebrae, From Dusk Til Dawn and A Nightmare On Elm Street. He gives the whole thing a weight many will say it doesn't deserve but it's nice to have a decent actor anchoring the whole thing, especially when it goes off the rails totally near the end.

Is it worth a rewatch? Yes.

Does it deserve it's nasty status? Not a chance.

Next up is Cannibal Ferox. This is the start of the truly rotten stuff.

 

Schemers

Schemers starts with a young man being chased down a road while his heavy Scottish accent tells us in voiceover how he got to this place in his life. It sounds familiar doesn't it, reminiscent of another famous slice of Scottish cinema. It's a bad way to start a film though, because it invites comparisons and comparisons aren't good unless you can live up to them. 

It's 1982 in Dundee, a city with a chip on it's shoulder because it's not Edinburgh. Times are tight and for wannabe footballer Davie (Conor Berry) they're about to get tighter when a run in with a love rival leaves both his leg and his dreams shattered. His only source of income is gambling but even a plum like Davie knows there's no happy ending there. Shona (Tara Lee), the nurse that helps him heal, catches his eye and in an effort to woo her he sows seeds of a career in music that will give him and his friends Scot and John some mighty highs and some epic lows.

It's ok. It's alright. It's not the worst thing I've ever seen. These are a few ways to describe Schemers. It passes the time, you'll laugh once or twice, you'll enjoy the tunes, you'll smile at the knowing nods towards the future and at the incomprehensible accents and on the way home you'll realise than you are struggling to remember anything about it. For a couple of reasons. Firstly because none of it makes sense all at. Our leads go from Dundee zeroes to music management heroes in the space of a montage and the film never gives us a sense of how or why and as such none of it feels believable in the least and at the end when you (not a spoiler) find out its based on a true story you get the sense a LOT has been left out to protect involved parties. As such it becomes inconsequential and edgeless.

And it's annoying because there's the seeds of something good here. At a time when the whole of the UK is in danger off tipping off the edge of a huge recession abyss this could stand as a warning about returning to the past but it's a theme that's barely worked on with the film instead wasting time on a love story that goes nowhere with a character, Shona, who could have been lifted out of the story without effecting it in the slightest. Tara Lee, an Irish actress who you'll remember from A Date For Mad Mary deserves better than being the eye candy in a story about boys being boys and it's here we come to the film's main issue. It's main characters are....well... to be blunt, they are arseholes. Davie's a selfish prick, John is a selfish prick and Scot, you can guess what he is. There's no reason anyone would be friends with them, be attracted to them, have anything to do with them at all and it leaves us wondering, once again, how their plan could ever work.

Conor Berry as Davie is one to keep an eye on though. In his debut role he exudes confidence far beyond his years or experience. It's a pity the rest of the film falls short.

Schemers is in cinemas now.

Empty screens

I went to the cinema today and it was empty. A Saturday afternoon and it was empty. It was really weird. The staff, usually running around like blue arsed flies were all shooting the shit and looked bored silly. The shopping centre next door was mobbed, full of families out for a Saturday shopping spree. If they're avoiding the cinema because of covid........well they were putting themselves in the line of fire in the centre. The cinema is a far safer option these days

I sat down to watch my film in an empty room, just me, no one else. Usually this would be great. No one talking over the film, no gowl kicking the back of your chair. No noise at all. It made me uneasy. When I left, there was two other people there going to see Tenet. Two. It's not looking good for cinemas is it. Tenet wasn't anywhere near the industry saver people expected it to be. The studios are afraid to release their big crowd pleasers because they know they won't make much money but it's turning into a catch 22 of their own making. People won't go to the cinema because there ain't much on and the studios won't give us the goods in case no one goes. Someone is going to have to do something, cinemas can't live on repertory showings alone. The next big release is Bond in late October. If that one can't tempt the crowds back then there's trouble ahead.

Disney recently released Mulan for streaming and made a nice chunk of change. Nowhere near what the film would have made in the cinema but already you can sense the wind of change blowing. Is this it? Is this the beginning of the end for cinema going?

I truly hope not. The world will be a shittier place without them.

15 films on TV this week that are worth your while

Sing Street   Sat   26/9   RTE2 @ 22.40

A teenage boy in 1980's Dublin struggling with both growing up and his relationship with his family, finds an escape when he forms a band with his schoolmates. The 80's were a tough time to be different though. A really lovely film, entertaining as hell and bursting with heart and energy. If you don't like this you are probably dead. A fine Irish cast lead by Ferdia Walsh-Peelo & Lucy Boynton is the icing on the cake.

Thunderbolt And Lightfoot   Sat   26/9   TCM @ 23.10

Thunderbolt's a bank robber. Lightfoot's a drifter. They meet and get on like a house on fire. But two men after Thunderbolt's loot are intent on ruining their day. Michael Cimino's debut film has dated quite a bit in places but it's still an amusing watch and the main duo's antics and interactions will bring a grin to your face. Clint does his usual thing but Jeff Bridge's Lightfoot is a creation you'll fall for straight away.

Stanley & Iris   Sun   27/9   RTE1 @ 01.05

Tragedy has made Iris decide to never love again. Stanley is a bloke who's never taken a chance with love. Can you see where this one is headed? A cliched plotline aside this is a nice, warm, gentle, intimate watch that doesn't condescend to it's audience or rely on mawkish drama. Jane Fonda and Robert De Niro are perfect as a pair of mismatching lovers tiptoeing around each other. Save this one for the long, dark nights ahead.

Man Up   Sun   27/9   BBC1 @ 00.20

A woman, sick & tired of love finds herself mistaken for a blind date and decides to just go along with it to see what happens. A romcom but one that is likeable and not sickly, one about people you will actually care about and not want to see go up in flames. This is all down to the lovely Lake Bell and the hilarious Simon Pegg. Throw in a few big laughs and a few scenes you'll watch through your fingers and its a grand way to spend 90 mins.

North By Northwest   Sun   27/9   RTE1 @ 15.15

A man in the wrong place at the wrong time is mistaken for a government agent and goes on the run across America with a woman who helps him in his escape. Easily Alfred Hitchcock's most fun film, this is 2 hrs of pure escapism with Cary Grant at his most charming and likeable and Eva Marie Saint nails her part as a woman who may not be what she seems. Crackling chemistry between the leads make this a super watch.

Snowpiercer   Sun   27/9   Film4 @ 21.00

Climate change has destroyed the planet. The only people left are those living on a perpetually moving train that circles the globe. Rich and poor are onboard and tensions are rising. Bong Joon Ho's 2013 action thriller is a blistering watch. Class warfare, social commentary, brutal violence & a touch of the surreal all add up to a rather unique story. Chris Evans leads a mighty cast including Tilda Swinton, Ed Harris, Jamie Bell & Alison Pill.

The Water Diviner   Mon   28/9   BBC1 @ 00.10

In the wake of the battle of Gallipoli a man travels to Turkey from Australia to locate his missing sons using the gift he has. This Russell Crowe led tale is an interesting and heartfelt watch about a part of World War 1 that is rarely talked about yet affected an entire continent. It's a fine history lesson too. Crowe as always is reliable and gets good back up from fellow oz actors like Jacqueline Mackenzie & Jai Courtney.

Inside Man   Mon   28/9   TG4 @ 21.30

When a so called perfect bank robbery goes sideways, a cop, the robber and a power broker have to negotiate a way out of the problem to save lives. Spike Lee's twisty, turny thriller is an immensely enjoyable way to spend a couple of hours. Nothing is what it seems and if you haven't seen it before you won't have a clue how it will all end. Denzel Washington, Jodie Foster and Clive Owen all hit the spot.

Dark River   Mon   28/9   Film4 @ 23.15

When her father dies Alice returns to Yorkshire to claim the family farm for herself but it's been a long long time since she was last home and tensions are running high with the sibling she left behind. This is a tough film to recommend because like it's title, it's a dark watch that will be triggering for some but a couple of mighty turns from Ruth Wilson and Mark Stanley will keep you going through it. It's bleak, be wary.

Vacancy   Tues   29/9   The Horror Channel @ 00.55

Amy & David are stranded miles from civilisation. They take a room in the nearest place they can find and soon enough realise they are in the middle of the kind of nightmare that plays on our most intimate worries and basest fears. Kate Beckinsdale and Luke Wilson are both very believable in a well made chiller that goes from zero to 100 in rapid manner. Pull the curtains, turn off the lights and scare yourself silly.

Layer Cake   Tues   29/9   Sony Movies @ 23.25

An upmarket London drug dealer is called upon to search for a missing woman and finds himself drawn into all matter of dodginess. Some may scoff but i think this is the best British crime film since The Long Good Friday. It's exciting, stylish stuff that never lets you up for a breath. It's the film that got Daniel Craig the role as James Bond & he's a cold and calculating lead. Great support from Colm Meaney and Sienna Miller too.

Things To Come   Wed   30/9   Film4 @ 01.55

What time is it? It's French film time. Nathalie is a busy lady, a philosophy teacher who flits between her job, her family and her elderly mother. Then a one-two whammy knocks her sideways. Most people wouldn't recover but Nathalie has the skills she's learned from work. The amazing Isabelle Hubert shines in this beautifully made 2016 drama. It's an upsetting but eventually powerfully uplifting piece of cinema.

Wake Wood   Wed   30/9   The Horror Channel @ 22.55

A small family living in rural Northern Ireland find themselves looking to the supernatural when tragedy strikes their quiet little life. A modern folk horror film that is genuinely scary and unnerving. Shades of Stephen King and Hammer horror abound. Well written, well made and well acted by Eva Birthistle, Timothy Spall and a clutch of Irish actors including Aiden Gillen, Ruth McCabe and Brian Gleeson. 

The Assassination Bureau   Thur   1/10   Talking Pictures TV @ 22.00

The Assassination Bureau prides itself on only killing those that deserve it and it lives by that credo until the day it's all called into question by a journalist who seeks to destroy it. Mostly forgotten these days, this is a film that deserves a new audience. It's stylish, funny, action packed, suspenseful and delightfully silly. A wild Oliver Reed and the recently deceased Diana Rigg are a very enjoyable pair of leads.

Life   Fri   2/10   Film4 @ 01.30

On the 30th of September 1955 James Dean's life was cut short in a car crash. The world mourned. Only 2 years before he was almost unknown, until a Life magazine did a story on him photographed by Dennis Stock. An interesting, very personal portrait of two men and how relationships can change when something is up for grabs. Dane DeHaan mightn't look that much like Dean but he plays the part well. The movie though, belongs to Robert Pattinson as the man with the camera.

Do you ever have one of those intensely boring days

when all you want to do is go back to bed and forget the day ever existed. It's pissing rain all day, all the pins and plates in my shoulder and wrist are turning me into a moany old bollix. There's nothing to do, nowhere to go and no money to spend even if you do go somewhere.

And here come the hailstones.

In september.

Sweet mother of fuck, this cunt of a year never stops giving.

Tonight's watch will give me a headache

Remember that mad 3D phase from a decade ago? Tonight I'm diving back in with My Bloody Valentine 3D and it's going to poleaxe me. Was sorting out books earlier and found both disc and glasses used as a bookmark in one of them. I've no recollection of the film so why not give it a whirl. 

Maybe it will be worth the headache? 

Hopefully? 

Yeah.....probably not.

Video nasty rewatch part 9 - The Burning

Ok, this one gets us back on track. A nasty that's actually pretty good, fun and gritty enough to earn it's place on the list. By 1980s standards of course.

Oh and it's the most star studded of the bunch too featuring very early appearances from Jason Alexander (with hair!), Holly Hunter and Fisher Stevens.

The setting is Camp Blackfoot and the antagonist is Cropsy, an ex camp caretaker who was a bit of a bollix as we're told. A prank played on him goes wrong and he ends up engulfed in flames as a result. He survives but he's a melted wreck of a man with murder on his mind. 5 years later he gets out of hospital and butchers a prostitute, showing off the first of many nasty Tom Savini special effects. Then he heads back to the camp where it all began and sets about taking his revenge on the new campers. Men, women, adults, teens, all are fair game to him.

Baby faced Jason Alexander, Fisher Stevens and Holly Hunter

The nods to the Friday The 13th, released only the year before are glaring but in every respect this one is more enjoyable. More inventive kills, a much larger cast, believable acting, a summer camp that actually feels like a summer camp, filled with characters who look the right age, a genuinely unsettling bad guy and effects from Savini that are pretty disgusting and still mostly hold up almost 39 years later. It contains the best set-piece of all the nasties too in the scene where a canoe full of unsuspecting campers are massacred in one go, in broad daylight and in unsparing detail. Of course it's this scene that caused all it's problems. It was heavily trimmed by the MPAA to avoid an X-rating and in the UK it got butchered by the BBFC. Then the company releasing the VHS version, Thorn EMI, tried to sneak out an uncut videotape and this unabridged version got the film prosecuted for obscenity.

If not for it's place on the nasty list it would have been lost in the mire, one of the many F13 clones released in the slasher boom of the early 80's but it still has it's charms. For one it feels surprisingly European with regards to it's nudity and it's use of profanity gives it a grittier edge than the other slashers of the era. It's ending changes things up too with characters surviving who in other films would have been killed off quicksmart, Brian Backer's creepy little peeping tom character Alfred being chief among them. It's main USP is it's total disregard for one of the slasher genres most used tropes, the final girl. Nope, no Jamie Lee Curtis style heroine here, this time it's Todd, the camp counsellor who ends Cropsy's reign of terror with a well timed axe to the face. Him coming out on top adds a welcome air of unpredictability to proceedings because from his first appearance early in the film you have him pegged for dismemberment instantly.

I enjoyed revisiting this one. Cool effects, a decent cast actually capable of acting, a creepy bad guy and a couple of real jumps. What more do you need sure? Oh, I forgot the scariest thing of all. It was produced by notorious scumbag Harvey Weinstein. Look back up at the poster to see his name near the bottom. It's a pity this film had to help his entry into Hollywood.

Next up. Cannibal Apocalypse. Another fun watch before the really gruelling stuff starts to appear.

Worth waiting for

Today i had my first pint of Guinness since February. On principle i'd avoided pubs since they reopened with the 9 euro meal rule because it felt ridiculously arbitrary and there was no way I was going to pay for a meal just to get a pint. Well that and the CORONAVIRUS thing. I really didnt need one that badly. But today that rule was done away with and for about 30 minutes things felt quite normal again and I gotta say it felt great to be back with the best pairing since Scorsese and De Niro.

To quote the great John Mills.

The Eight Hundred

You know it's an odd year for cinema when the 2nd highest earning film of 2020 is a Chinese war movie most people in the west haven't even heard of. It's even odder when you realise it's sandwiched between Sonic The Hedgehog and Bad Boys 3.

The year is 1937, 2 years before start of the Second World War. Japan and China have a head start on the rest of the planet when Japanese forces invade Shanghai and lay waste to all before them. The battle rages on for 3 months until eventually, having suffered catastrophic losses, the Chinese army is forced to retreat. 452 soldiers of 524th Regiment, 88th Division led by Lieutenant Colonel Xie Jinyuan (Du Chun) found themselves under siege in the huge Sihang warehouse with encroaching Japanese on 3 sides and the Suzhou River on the 4th. Across the river was the Shanghai International Settlement, an area of the city filled with foreign merchants, civilians and journalists. The Japanese army's fear of disrupting trade agreements with the west & the proximity of this settlement saved the building from being simply bombed and gassed. Taking down this warehouse and the men in it would involve face to face combat and the Chinese soldiers inside weren't ready to die just yet.

If you see a more shameless slice of propaganda this year I'll be surprised. This one has it all. Glorious slo-mo, heroic sacrifice, defence of the flag at all costs, awe inspiring speeches, placid faces smiling beatifically despite impending death, the constant reminder that the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. It's China using cinema as a reminder to the rest of the world that they are not to be messed with. It's a real life story that started as a morale booster before becoming part of the country's mythology and in it's latest film incarnation it's been given the full bells and whistles treatment, one epic in treatment and where every penny is onscreen. There's battles and gunplay in here that would make John Woo weak at the knees, moments of self sacrifice that would turn Chow Yun Fat and Jacky Wu green with envy and action choreography that would make Tsui Hark and Donnie Yen skittish and nervous. But despite it's technical brilliance and massive scale you'll leave it with a bad taste in your mouth.

French director François Truffaut once famously proclaimed “there's no such thing as an anti-war film" and with a couple of exceptions he was right. Each and every one of them ends up being thrilling and exciting and here it's the moment when a small group of Japanese soldiers going full ninja, armed only with knifes, sneak into the warehouse to attack. It's full blooded, vicious and yes, exhilarating and it's only when you see the carnage filled aftermath that you'll start feeling shitty about what you've watched. Entertainment built on the back of real suffering. And worse again is it just a faceless, nameless horde because The Eight Hundred is not a film that does characterisation well, if at all. We get to recognise a handful of the men, the few the film can be bothered to sketch out. Yang Guai (Wang Qianyuan) the old grump who loves his fags, Duan Wu (Oho Ou) the gung ho teen, Little Hubei (Zhang Junyi) the young boy who's lost everything, Lao Tie (Wu Jiang) the coward turned hero and Xie the noble leader but everyone else is just meat for the grinder. 

Meat. There's a lot of it on display here. Meat, sinew, veins, viscera. You'll be hard pressed to find a more violent 15 certificate movie out there. It's brutality starts with a decapitation in the first 2 minutes and continues for another 148. By the end of the first hour you'll be as numbed by all the headshots, dismemberment and disembowellings as the crowds of civilians watching the battle take place in the safe civilian zone. At first they're horrified but slowly start to drift away or become engrossed in other things, only returning as the situation changes or when they sense an end is near. It's a nod to our relationship with modern day news telling and 24 hr coverage and as blunt as it is it feels like silky subtlety compared to the bombast of the rest of the film. Then the end comes and with it the old Chinese cinema trope of heroic bloodshed. But here it will drop your jaw for very different reasons than the fun action films of old.

The Eight Hundred is in selected cinemas around Ireland now. It's a well made film but it's not a good one.

17 films on TV this week to keep you going that bit longer

Rogue One   (12)   Sat   19/9   RTE2 @ 21.20

The Empire is building a secret weapon and a rag tag gang of rebels are tasked with finding it's weak spot so it can be obliterated. This prequel to the original Star Wars is a very enjoyable addition to the Star Wars saga. It's a bit darker and a little bit more violent than the series tends to be but it slots into the existing universe perfectly. Felicity Jones, Diego Luna, Riz Ahmed and Donnie Yen all do well. And the ending.....oh that ending.

Game Night   (15)   Sat   19/9   RTE1 @ 21.30

Every week a group of friends meet up for a night of chat, wine and boardgames. One night real life adds a shocking twist and the friends find themselves up to their necks in all manner of trouble. This is an entertaining Saturday night watch, a nice blend of screwball madness, weird neighbours, sibling rivalry and competitive friendship. Rachel McAdams, our own Sharon Horgan and a delightfully odd Jesse Plemons all do well.

Ingrid Goes West   (15)   Sat   19/9   5*Star @ 23.15

Ingrid's a troubled woman who bases her existence around Instagram. In her head the people she follows are her friends and a random like from a famous influencer sends her life in a strange direction. This 2017 drama is an brilliantly acted look at the insidious way social media has taken hold of all of our lives and made us even lonelier than before. Aubrey Plaza, Elizabeth Olsen and O'Shea Jackson jr work well together,

Oblivion   (12)   Sat   19/9   ITV4 @ Midnight

In a post apocalyptic Earth a lone worker makes a discovery that puts into question everything he thought he knew about what happened to the planet. Ok the plot of this one is a bit wispy but it does things you don't usually see in big movies. Tom Cruise carries the film in style as always and it just looks astounding. The kind of film HD TV's were made for. Olga Kurylenko & Morgan Freeman are good as always in support.

Jimi : All Is By My Side   (15)   Sun   20/9   BBC2 @ 00.25

A stylish and interesting biography of Jimi Hendrix set during his time in London in the mid 60's as his career was just starting to take off and a film that isn't afraid to show the darker side of it's subject. Andre Benjamin ( The singer with Outkast ) plays Hendrix with aplomb and nails his look and voice perfectly. Parts of this were filmed in Dublin with Ruth Negga and Lawrence Kinlan showing up in supporting roles. 

Kubo And The Two Strings   (PG)   Sun   20/9   Film4 @ 16.25

Kubo is living a happy life in his village when a horror from the past sends him off on a mission to follow in his father's footsteps. This 2016 animation is a little stunner that was sadly overlooked on it's initial release but if you give it a chance you'll love it. It's full to the brim with imagination, action and flat out beauty. First rate voice acting from Charlize Theron & Ireland's own Art Parkinson adds to the joy.

The Gambler   (15)   Sun   20/9   CH4 @ 22.55

His job as an English professor just isn't doing it for Jim. Nope, Jim has other things on his mind, namely gambling away everything he's ever owned. And now things are getting deadly serious. Mark Wahlberg shines in a rare non action role playing a character you'll want to shake sense into and the usually lovely John Goodman does strong work as a very unsettling loanshark. A well done if frustrating cautionary tale.

Sweet Sixteen   (18)   Mon   21/9   Film4 @ 01.30

Life is tough for Liam. He's a 15 year old in a dead end Scottish town, his mam is in jail, he's growing up in poverty and about to fall into a life of violent crime. Martin Compston is astounding in his film debut. A fiery ball of rage but inside a boy just wanting to be loved. His turn carries this 2002 Ken Loach film into the sky. It's as grim and bleak as you'd expect but you just won't be able to stop watching it. Film of the week.

Edge of Tomorrow   (12)   Mon   21/9   Sony Movies @ 21.00

Aliens have invaded earth and it's up to Tom Cruise and Emily Blunt to fight them off. Again and again and again. And again. Easily one of the most gratifying science fiction movies of the last decade, if you haven't seen it you're in for a treat. It's a watch that on paper should be boring and repetitive but inventive action and a streak of dark humour keep it powering along. Brendan Gleeson and the late great Bill Paxton add to the fun too.

Wild Honey Pie!   (15)  Mon   21/9   Film4 @ 23.15

Married life has become stale for Gillian and Oliver and living at home with his mother isn't helping matters. Money is sparse and jobs are unsatisfying and well, something needs to be done fast. Unlike the Beatles song it's named after, this is a likeable, substantial watch powered by a central pairing that feels real. A funny, affecting watch with Jemima Kirke, Richard Elis and Joanna Scanlan playing decent parts.

Maniac   (18)   Tues   22/9   The Horror Channel @ 00.50

Frank owns a mannequin shop. He's a strange guy and that's putting things mildly. He gets even stranger when a young artist asks for his help and dark desires come bubbling to the surface. Elijah Wood stars in remake of the infamous and long banned 1980 original turning in a genuinely creepy performance in this frighening, surreal and at times nauseating look at the madness bubbling around inside the minds of men.

The Most Dangerous Game   (12)  Tues   22/9   Talking Pictures TV @ 01.30

Time for one of the most influential films ever made. Evil Count Zaroff lives on an island and spends his time first greeting and then hunting down the unfortunate people who's ships come a cropper on the rocky shores. This film is 88 years old, still being remade to this day and still effective as hell. It's scary, exciting and at the end satisfying. Joel McCrea, Leslie Banks and King Kong's Fay Wray make for a fine bunch of leads.

Performance   (18)   Wed   23/9   TCM @ 01.20

Chas is on the run. There's been a murder. The old bill want to have a chat. He takes on the persona of a musician to hide out in his flat. But the flat ain't empty. Shocking and controversial on it's release 50 years ago, this one still has the power to startle. A surreal, erotic, deeply weird watch that you'll take a multiple of meanings from. James Fox, Anita Pallenberg and Mick Jagger make a memorable ménage à trois.

Funny Cow   (15)  Thur   24/9   Film4 @ 23.15

Funny Cow had a tough life growing up in the coalpit towns of the English North and now she's using that life experience as material for her comedy sets in the working men's clubs of the 1970's. Maxine Peake is sensational in this tough but darkly humorous look at the hardships of breaking into a traditionally male arena, especially in an era where sexism was rampant. The always reliable Paddy Considine and Alun Armstrong back her up generously.

The Krays   (18)  Thur   24/9   ITV4 @ 23.40

In London's west end there once lived a pair of twin brothers who did everything together. From troubled teens to kings of crime they were inseparable. Forget that gimmicky Tom Hardy flick from a few years back, this is the go to Kray Brothers movie. A starkly violent look at what happens when you never say no to your children. Martin and Gary Kemp do well as the titular pair but it's Billie Whitelaw as Mrs Kray who owns this film.

Once Upon A Time In The West   (15)  Fri   25/9   TG4 @ 21.05

A widowed woman, an almost hung bandit and a man with a harmonica team up for revenge against a backdrop of the railroad construction era of America's wild west. If you haven't seen this Sergio Leone masterpiece I'm green with envy. If you have, here's an excuse to luxuriate in it again. It's excellent, the action, the music, the sweltering atmosphere, everything. Charles Bronson, Claudia Cardinale, Jason Robards and especially Henry Fonda all amaze.

The Butcher Boy   (15)   Fri   25/9   RTE2 @ 22.00

Francie Brady is a strange sort of boy. And strange boys aren't tolerated in 1960's Monaghan. Eamonn Owens is unreal in the lead role. It's a tour de force performance and amazingly it was his first film. A film that's by turns hilarious, grim as hell, black as night and just utterly compelling. Plus there's a mighty cast full of well known faces. It's a film not everyone will like but it's really worth sticking with.

Bill & Ted Face The Music

In 1978 Martin Scorsese filmed The Last Waltz, a documentary about The Band, showing the group playing a farewell concert and being joined onstage by the cream of the crop of 70's rock. Neil Young pops up, Emmylou Harris, Eric Clapton, Bob Dylan, Joni Mitchell, Dr John, Van Morrison, Muddy Waters and many more. Impressive right. Ha. Wait til you get a load of who ends up onstage at the end of Bill & Ted Face The Music.

From the Orion logo at the start to the joyous end credits this is a film designed to make people nostalgic and make people happy. It couldn't have come at a better time. With the prospect of a second lockdown on the horizon we need a bit of joy, something to take our minds off the madness of this year and bring us back to better times. The world was a different place the last time we met William S. Preston Esquire (Alex Winter) and Theodore Logan (Keanu Reeves). Ya, ok there was a little thing happening called the Gulf War but through rose tinted glasses it feels like a nicer time, one without contagion or maniacal despots ruling/ruining the planet. When we first see them here you'll smile from ear to ear, they look older of course and this time they're in suits but they have the same goofy, innocent energy as always. Then Ted says "WHOA!!" and it all kicks off big style *happy air guitar solo*

Bill & Ted have failed. The song that would have saved the planet hasn't been written yet and the universe's time/space continuum is falling apart as a result. Ages are bleeding into each other, Jesus vanishes from 2000 years ago and ends up onstage at a Kid Cudi concert, George Washington winds up in a Californian shrink's office and well, things are getting messy. A face from the future appears and warns of impending doom unless our duo get creating right away. But the creatives juices have dried up, Wyld Stallyns are on a downward trajectory, Bill & Ted's wives, Elizabeth (Erinn Hayes) & Joanna (Jayma Mays) are feeling forgotten and the only ones still carrying the torch OF ROCK are their daughter's Thea (Samara Weaving) & Billy (Brigette Lundy-Paine). The only thing to do is travel forward in time to when the song is already written and snag themselves a copy of it. Which is easier said than done. *tense air guitar solo*

I needed this film and man alive it hit the spot. You'll leave the cinema beaming after it. Yes it's as silly and mind boggling as the originals but there's a real warmth to it too. At it's heart it's the story of two goofs trying to save their marriage while also saving the world, that starts with family disappointment and ends with an intergalactic plea for racial harmony and tolerance. Nostalgia has turned into something topical and it works perfectly, happening so gradually that you don't even notice it until it's right in our face. Then on top of that we get a barrel of laughs chucked at us with the ever changing future versions of Bill & Ted being a visual gag that never gets old until it too gets genuinely old giving us a moment of introspection no one ever expected to see in this franchise. *wistful air guitar solo*

This film could only have worked if Reeves and Winter fully committed and they do indeed. At first it feels a bit awkward, a bit strained but soon the characters are back with us feeling like a comfortable pair of shoes and as their excellent adventure gets zanier you'll get giddier watching along and by the time William Sadler's Death reappears you'll be buzzing. Sadly George Carlin's Rufus can't be back but Kristin Schaal as his daughter is a fun replacement. Speaking of replacements, Bill & Ted's daughter's Elizabeth & Joanna might be around a bit longer. While their Dad's go in one time direction they go in another and get to do things music fans can only dream about until eventually there's a handover of sorts where they take the reigns and maybe, hopefully we might get another film with them in charge.

If your local cinema hasn't closed this is really worth a look. It's a joy from start to finish and you don't really have to have seen the others to get it. Plus there's an insecure killer robot called Dennis Caleb McCoy in it. If he doesn't make you smile nothing will.

*ROCKING OUT AIR GUITAR SOLO*

When revisiting a film backfires

I've just watched The Blair Witch Project for the first time in 20 years. Heard someone talking about it recently so decided to rewatch it to see how it holds up.

It held up well. Too well. Why in the name of jaysus did i decide to watch it by myself, late at night. The baby bit at the start. The tent bit. Those stick figures. That final shot. Each and everyone a goosebump moment.

I've trouble sleeping as it is. Tonight will be fun after that.

Fuck.

The Devil All The Time

Tom Holland might be the main face on the posters and in the trailers of The Devil All the Time but he doesn't appear onscreen until the 45th minute of the movie and by that stage the people watching because of his Marvel work will feel like they've been hung, drawn and quartered. This is as far from your friendly neighbourhood spider man as you'll get these days. He's great as Arvin Russell but it's the pity the film doesn't reach his level.

Spiders. Suicide. All manner of crucifixion. Murder. Misery. Hate. Statutory rape. Just some of the horror in store for you in The Devil All The Time, the new Netflix adaption of Donald Ray Pollock's novel of the same name. It's a film that will give the Ohio & West Virginian tourist boards apoplexy and it's one that will probably give you a dose of the blues when the final credits roll on a film about the litany of sins tarnishing the souls of men. It's the intertwining story of the inhabitants of a town called Knockemstiff. Willard (Bill Skarsgård) the returning soldier haunted by what he's seen in the Pacific theatre, his wife Charlotte (Haley Bennett) and their son Arvin (Tom Holland), a boy about to get a horrible lesson in life's darkness. Then there's Sandy (Riley Keough) and Carl Henderson (Jason Clarke), a murderous couple roaming the state's highways picking up unfortunate hitchhikers. Finally there's Reverend Preston Teagardin (Robert Pattinson), a scumbag preacher who crosses paths with Arvin's stepsister Lenora (Eliza Scanlon). Two chance encounters in a diner set off a series of events that ensure everything converges over the next 18 years.

God this was a harsh film and not one I can say I was a fan of. It's a film that takes a longwinded and roundabout way to say not much at all. It feels disjointed, in places pointless, in others so dark all you'll be able to do is choke out a startled laugh. It's an ensemble piece about interconnecting lives but it feels so skewed towards one side that one particular pair are barely sketched out caricatures and as such their role in the climax of the film turns it all into a damp fizzle instead of a bang. 

You'll be watching this struggling to find any bit of meaning in it at all, some throughline, some connective tissue to tie it all together and you'll come up short. There's allusions to hangovers from the horrors of World War 2 and the terror of whats ahead in Vietnam but other than that we get no real insight, Arvin aside, into what makes these people tick. The intrusive, overbearingly folksy narration strives to give some significance to it all there's just something missing. The special thing that makes a piece like this click. Some stories just seem to work better on paper than onscreen and this feels like one of them. There's too much going on here. A miniseries might have done it more justice.

Where it does succeed though is it's performances. Every single one strikes the right note, even the underwritten ones like Jason Clark's Carl and Riley Keough's Sandy, one, a man so vile you'll start itching the moment he appears and the other a willing pawn in his sickness. Eliza Scanlen stands out as Lenora, an image of innocence in a pit of snakes while Robert Pattinson does horribly effective work as another heartland predator, this time worming his way into lives under the pretence of doing god's work. But the film's best turns come from Skarsgård and Holland, as a father and son struggling to deal with the horror they carry inside, processing it the best way they can by projecting it at the evil men who deserve to be punished. They'll be what you remember when the rest fades away. Except the spider bit. I'll be taking that one with me for a good while yet. Shudder.

The Devil All The Time is streaming from today on Netflix. It's dark and unsettling but it's clumsy and messy too. 

Unpregnant

Aggressive ballet. The ethics of using the word hobo. Life saving renditions of the Star Spangled Banner. Grunted and perfectly timed klingon. The world's oldest limo. A storyline that would give David Quinn a pretty severe dose of heartburn. All this and more awaits you with Unpregnant. A film that will strike a chord with many Irish people.

Veronica (Haley Lu Richardson) is 17, pregnant and terrified. Kevin (Alex MacNicoll) is the father and he's a selfish eejit who has life for the pair all mapped out before the starters even arrive in the restaurant where he hears the news. She's having none of it, she's an honours student and a baby would ruin her plans for college. But there's a snag, she lives in Missouri and abortion under the age of 18 isn't happening. The only other person who knows is Bailey (Barbie Ferreira), a classmate who walked in on Veronica and her pregnancy test. The pair have history, they used to be best friends but drifted apart because Bailey wanted to march to the beat of her own drum. Now Veronica needs her old friend. She's the only one with a car who can get her the 1000 miles to Albuquerque, New Mexico, a place where a 17 year old can get a safe, legal termination.

Free, safe and legal. What should be the standard worldwide all so often isn't making a hard choice even harder for women in need of abortions. Writer/Director Rachel Lee Goldenberg takes a story so often portrayed on TV and film as selfish and cautionary and turns it into something humane, uplifting and empowering. It's the tale of a young woman who makes a decision and who wants to stick by it and the other young woman who decides to support her through thick and thin. The destination is set but the journey is what we get to witness and what a surprisingly enjoyable one it is. There's some full on belly laughs and we get the joy of seeing old friendships rekindled along with the shorthand that exists between old friends. The central relationship is one that feels real, it gives Unpregnant heart and as such you'll actually care about whats happening.

The tone throughout is light but it's central subject is still given the weight it requires and the film and characters acknowledge that it's still something that's problematic for a lot of people. Despite the laughs there's nothing flippant here and the film nods at many of America's contradictions regarding personal choice and sex. Billboards litter the Southwest landscape condemning abortion and same sex marriage while others advertise stripclubs with barely legal dancers. Bob (Giancarlo Esposito), a driver they encounter along the way is a veteran, clearly disturbed by his past and obviously forgotten by the country he fought for, driving past protesters arguing for the protection of a bunch of cells that aren't even sentient yet. The living don't matter as much as the unborn. Something that will never make sense.

Haley Lu Richardson and Barbie Ferreira are a great duo. As with so many of the best road trip movies they start out like chalk and cheese and wax and wan with each other throughout, giving us plenty of funny and affecting moments. It's only their unfortunate and creepy run in with an anti choice couple that makes the film stutter. It feels unnecessary and silly, especially when we head into action movie territory but thankfully it's only a brief detour on the journey and to be fair does lead into a train encounter that creates one of the film's biggest giggles. One of many memorable moments in a fine film that deserves to be spoken about alongside Lady Bird and Booksmart.

Unpregnant is story that has the courage of it's convictions. It's really worth your time and it's streaming online now.

Video nasties rewatch part 8 - Bloody Moon

A badly scarred maniac is stalking a beach side school murdering the women learning there. Who is he? Why is he doing these dastardly deeds? Why isn't anyone stopping him? Why is his sister so goddamned creepy?

Number 8 on the DPP 39 list of Video nasties is one of the worst. Bloody Moon, courtesy of Spanish horror auteur Jess Franco is a film with no redeeming features, it's killing are boring, it's cast is awful and it's effects are among the worst of all the nasties. It's charmless, scareless, badly shot, badly written, badly directed, has real life animal cruelty in it ( A snake gets decapitated. This is the first of the nasties on the list to feature real animal death but sadly not the last) and it rips off far better films, some scenes in their entirety. Dull, unoriginal and shite. The holy trinity of a bad video nasty.

And there's no bloody moon in it either!!

It's annoying because this could have been good. It's a murder mystery (where we know all the killers) set in a language school on the Costa Del Sol. It's full of campy whip zooms and it's laced in a lovely eurotrashy atmosphere but it's so badly made none of this has any impact. Jess Franco might have a style of his own but that doesn't mean he's a good director. Imagine this in the hands of Dario Argento for example, a director known for the love and attention he put into his films. 3 years before this was released he made Suspiria, a horror set in a ballet school and look at the classic that turned out to be. Imagine this one steeped in primary colours and soundtracked by Goblin. Gaaahhh I hate wasted potential when it comes to film.

Ok. Enough words have been wasted on this one.

Would I recommend it to anyone? Only nasty completists and then I'd still feel bad about it.

Did it deserve to be on the nasty list? Not a chance. Friday The 13th was released in the year before and is far more violent and it's effects far more realistic and that got by unscathed. That one even had a real life snake chopped up too but you never hear anyone complain about that.

What's next? The Burning is next. The Burning is far better than this shit.

#Alive

Oh Joon-Woo (Yoo Ah-in) loves being by himself and spends his time live streaming the video games he constantly plays. He's a young man sharing an apartment building in Seoul with his sister and parents but he's much happier in a digital world than the real one. Sadly reality hits him like a kick in the stones one day when an unknown and fast moving contagion ravages the Korean capital, turning it's populace cannibalistic and Oh Joon-Woo finds himself alone in the family apartment, an apartment that's about to become his world. Being alone isn't so appealing when you're actually alone. Soon enough food is running low and the water gets turned off. Oh Joon is about to lose all hope when he realises he isn't the only person in the city who's zombified.

Yup. Zombies. The Z word. Another one.

It's all George A. Romero's fault. In the space of a year we got a brilliant remake of his masterpiece 'Dawn Of The Dead' and then we got his latest addition to the dead series 'Land Of The Dead' and since then there's been an unstoppable onslaught of zombie films that's showing no sign of abating. Dozens, if not hundreds of films have been made about the living dead since (including the magnificent Korean one Train To Busan and it's upcoming sequel Peninsula), numerous tv shows, computer games, the lot. We should be sick to the backteeth of them by now but for some reason we ain't. Like those mouldy, rotten corpses onscreen we keep coming back and now with this new Korean horror film #Alive we've a new addition to the canon. A new addition that comes at things from a different angle than usual.

Yeah all the tropes and cliches of a living dead film are present and correct but #Alive is more about the pyschological impact of a zombie apocalypse on it's survivors. You're alone, you know escape is pointless, you're surrounded by inevitable death but unwilling to dive into it. The internet is no good when there's no one to reply to you. You've all the time in the world to ponder how your family and friends died and worse is the fact that they are still out there wandering, aimlessly, looking to do to others what happened to them. That cannot be good for the brain and poor Oh Joon-Woo goes through the gamut of emotion and Yoo Ah-in plays the part perfectly. At first enjoying the freedom brought to his door before falling into a pit of despair before a blast of hope in the form of ...... well that would be telling...... sees his personality opening up in a way it's never done before. And all it took was a horrific contagion. Awwww.

It might sound like a hard watch but plenty of crunchy carnage, dark humour and inventive use of hobbies keep things moving along sprightly. As the film progresses you'll be laughing in disbelief, giddy with nerves and in places genuinely fearful for our protagonist as the growling, snarling, disturbingly designed living dead start to catch wind of his plans. These aren't your common or garden shuffling zombies, oh no, these ones are fast, deadly, climbing zombies, the kind that will really fuck up your day. 

Fast moving, contagion, pandemic, apocalypse.....these words have all taken on a horrible significance in 2020 and some may find even the prospect of this film offputting in the current climate but what made it watchable for me was it's depiction of human inventiveness, how even a glimmer of hope can help us through the worst of times. How going through hell can make you totally re-evaluate all our long held ideals. You might have seen the flesh eating and head cracking a million times before but the undercurrent of optimism might be just what the doctor ordered.

#Alive is streaming on Netflix now. Make sure you've a few packs of Koka noodles for afterwards too. Believe me you'll be craving them.

Craving the pint of plain

Just got an absolutely insane craving for a saturday night pint. Not the pint itself but everything that comes with it. Sitting at the bar (which we can't do anymore), watching it settle, chatting to the person next to you be they friend or stranger (which we can't do anymore). That first mouthful that demolishes half the pint. Getting the bag of tayto, ripping them open so they can be shared (which we can't do anymore). A bud walking in, clapping you on the shoulder (which we can't do anymore). Seeing someone you haven't seen in an age, pushing through the crowds for a hug (which we can't do anymore) and a natter. Catching a breeze outside and inevitably ending up in a conversation with someone you've never seen before (which we can't do anymore). Giving the bartender the nod at 1am (which we can't do anymore) for that one last pint, enjoying that good buzz and trying to make it last. Walking home, the comforting warmth of a bag of chips in your hand. The smell of vinegar making you salivate. Eating those last crispy salty bits and then falling into a happy slumber laughing at the silliness that kicked off just after 10pm.

Fuck sake, this thing has me nostalgic for something I'd stopped doing years ago.

Savage

Kids are like sponges. They absorb everything. Words. Songs. Wisdom. Knowledge. Love. Hate. Violence. Bigotry. The things they experience in their formative years can shape the adults they will become. As you'll find out vividly when you sit down to watch this fine New Zealand crime drama from first time director Sam Kelly.

Damage. An apt name for the enforcer (Jake Ryan) of a New Zealand gang called the Savages. He's the go to guy for the gang's wetwork and his weapon of choice is a claw hammer. He's feared and respected by his fellow members but the only one who actually has any time for him is the club president Moses (John Tui). Damage and Moses grew up together from the borstals of their youth through the formation of their gang through to being it's top lieutenants and Moses is the only one who knows what makes Damage tick because he's not exactly an open book. Starting in 1989 and flashing back to 1965 and 1972 we get to bear witness to what made Damage the man he became.

Savage is one hell of a grim watch and one that doesn't pull its punches. You won't leave it smiling or feeling uplifted. It's not a tale of redemption and you'll barely raise a smile throughout. Its the story of a man born into violence, then moulded by violence until it becomes the only thing he's any good at. It's a story about the dark underbelly of a country that's rarely talked about, the racist and classist structures designed to keep the "undesirables" out of sight. The toxic environments that men too often find themselves in and unable to escape from and the effect that type of masculinity has on the psyche and the soul. Why would you put yourself through this you ask? Because sometimes it's good to remind yourself of how good you actually have it.

In 1992 the Australian crime drama Romper Stomper put Russell Crowe on the map and I've a feeling this film will do the same for Jake Ryan. He's best known for his turn as the troubled Robbo in Home And Away but his performance here will put soap opera's in the rear view for him. He's immense, a hulking ball of hate driven by a broken little boy inside. His physical presence is powerful but it's the psychological turmoil written across his face in a guise of a gang tattoo that will stay with you. Everything he does, his every move is clearly traceable to an experience no child or no-one should ever have to deal with but because of the macho culture he's immersed in he doesn't have the emotional intelligence or freedom to deal with it. The scenes in which it seems like he'll open up are a killer to watch when violence inevitably replaces far more important words. It's all a vicious cycle that badly needs to be broken.

When Damage begins to struggle with his place in the world you get the sense it's already far too late for Moses. Like Damage he was broken by the system as a child but for him it goes far deeper. He's a Maori, proud of his skin but knowing that in his own country he'll always be a second class citizen. And that's my one problem with Savage. As good as Ryan is as Damage this film should be Tui's story. Films about the Maori culture that actually get shown internationally are few and fair between and it's a pity it took a white lead for this to be made. Boy, Utu, Whale Rider, Once Where Warriors could all do it so why not here too? I'm asking the question but we all know the unpalatable answer.

From it's vicious opening to it's affecting close Savage is worth your time. I'm looking forward to director Samuel Kelly's next work already. It's in cinemas now but won't be around for long.

17 films on TV this week chosen just for you. Yes you, with the head over there in the corner.

Galaxy Quest   Sat   12/9   5Star @ 21.00

The cast of the Galaxy Quest tv show are sick to the teeth of their fans and the scifi conventions they have to deal with. Until they find themselves in a real life adventure caused by intergalactic confusion. This is one of the most underrated films of the 90's. A wonderfully written story about rabid fandom and holding on to old glory that manages to be hilarious, exciting and in places genuinely affecting. Sigourney Weaver, Tim Allen and a fantastic Alan Rickman all work their magic here.

Larry Crowne   Sat   12/9   TG4 @ 21.35

He used to be the big man at his job until the day he was let go and his mortgage broke him. Now Larry has to start all over again and he decides to go for a full life make over. This might be too cheesy for the cynics out there but it's a warm, gentle and humorous look at a positive way to deal with the huge upheavals life is wont to throw at you from time to time. Tom Hanks, Julia Robert & Bryan Cranston are all fun here.

Memento   Sat   12/9   BBC2 @ 21.45

Leonard is a man with no short term memory who's searching for his wife's murderer. Sounds simple right. Haha. No, it's far from it from. This is the film that made Christopher Nolan famous and rightly so. It's a mind boggling thriller and one which demands your utmost attention as it's non linear plot line can be slightly confusing. Guy Pearce in the lead role is on fire and gets fine back up from Carrie-Anne Moss and Joe Pantoliano

The Outlaw Josey Wales   Sun   13/9   RTE1 @ 00.35

A man loses his family to a renegade pack of union soldiers during the US civil war & while out for revenge slowly but surely creates a new life for himself and those following him. This is my favourite western of all time. It's pretty much perfect. Epic in sweep, full of action & understated humour, immensely quotable and just packed with great performances. Clint rocks it and John Vernon & Sam Bottoms are at their best. Give it a go. It's poetry.

Under The Skin   Sun   13/9   Film4 @ 00.55

There's a woman luring the men of Glasgow into her van with the promise of sex and well...... I'll be honest, you just have to see this one for yourself. Jonathan Glazer's 2013 film is one that defies description. It's a haunting, terrifying, sensual and mesmerising tale that will worm it's way into your head and mingle with your dreams for weeks to come. Scarlet Johannson carries the film with a brave, deeply disturbing turn.

Casablanca   Sun   13/9   BBC2 @ 16.20

Classic movie time. Humphrey Bogart plays Rick Blaine, a nightclub owner in World War 2 era Morocco who has his finger in a number of pies. When an ex-lover appears it throws him for six. This is one of those famous movies that lives up to the hype. You'll recognise scenes and dialogue even if you've never seen it. Ingrid Bergman and Bogie are at the top of their game here. Oh and the Marseillaise scene is one of the best ever filmed.

Gully Boy   Sun   13/9   CH4 @ 23.55

In the crowded streets of Mumbai a young man has been directed by his parents towards a white collar life but the lure of a career in music is too strong for him to ignore. Gully Boy is 2.5 hrs long and it's a rare film that uses every moment of it's running time well with it's deep dive into the class divides and economic trickery used to keep people in their place. And the music is wicked too of course. Ranveer Singh is a memorable lead.

Phantom Thread   Mon   14/9   TG4 @ 21.30

Reynolds Woodcock is a spoiled egotistical dressmaker who relies on his sister Cyril to keep him in check. Until the day he orders a large breakfast from a waitress called Alma. This is one hell of a film, a Hitchcockian drama about obsession and dependence that goes down roads you'll never ever expect it to. Daniel Day Lewis is immense in the lead while Leslie Manville and Vicky Krieps do super work in support.

Brassed Off   Mon   14/9   Film4 @ 23.30

The Grimley Brass band has been playing it's music for as long the mine that sustained the town of Grimley has been open. But work has dried up and the band is in danger of it too. Until... This sounds like it might be another one of those "It's grim up north" films but it's a far more humane, warm and funny watch than it first seems and it's powered by some lovely turns from Ewan McGregor, Tara Fitzgerald and the much missed Pete Postlethwaite..

Summer Of Sam   Tues   15/9   Sony Movies @ 21.00

New York. Summer of 1977. Tempers are rising due to the heat and a serial killer picking on the young people of Queens is turning up the paranoia too. Spike Lee's drama/thriller is a gripping look at the lives and loves of an Italian community impacted by the carnage. It's graphic stuff and won't be to the tastes of many but you'll stay watching and a couple of superb leading turns from Mira Sorvino and John Leguizamo are the icing on the cake.

Splice   Tues   15/9   The Horror Channel @ 22.45

A pair of genetic engineers design a creature made from the DNA of different animals combined with a dash of human. Not surprisingly things go arseways. This 2009 horror thriller is an intriguing look at ethical responsibility and the dangers of playing god in an area of untold power. Adrian Brody and Sarah Polley do solid work here but Delphine Chanéac's part as Dren is the one you'll remember. Not for the faint of heart.

Unquiet Graves   Wed   16/9   RTE1 @ 21.35

The Glennane gang were a collection of loyalists who terrorised the Catholics of Armagh and Tyrone in the 70's. They killed well over 100 people and sometimes did it with the collusion of the British army. The Miami Showband were one such group who had the misfortune to meet them. This documentary will enrage you and send you to bed in a terrible mood but it's vital & important viewing about a horrifying part of our little island's history.

Tender Mercies   Wed   16/9   Talking Pictures TV @ 22.00

Mac Sledge is a country and western singer who's burnt a lot of bridges along the way. His drinking has alienated friends and family and a chance encounter with a young widow might just be his last chance at a life. Robert Duvall fully deserved his oscar for his role in this powerful and brilliantly acted paean to love and redemption but it's Tess Harper, who stuns in her debut role, that really gives this story it's heart and soul.

All Quiet On The Western Front   Thur   17/9   TCM @ 01.15

A group of young students let themselves be talked into fighting for Germany on the killing fields of World War 1. Their experiences do not live up to what was promised them by the recruiters who lured them in. This is one of the greatest anti war films ever made. 90 years old and it still has the power of shock and upset. Lew Ayres is excellent in the lead role. His final scene will stay in your head for weeks to come.

Bait   Thur   17/9   Film4 @ 23.20

Martin's a man who's lost his place in the world. His career is vanishing and the fishing village he calls his home is rapidly gentrifying as the family house gets sold to a crowd of out of towners. This film is something else, a dreamlike and timeless look at the inability to adapt to change and the pain of losing what you love. It might alienate you at first but stick with it for a truly powerful story. Edward Rowe as Martin is an actor to keep an eye out for in the future.

Night Of The Creeps   Fri   18/9   The Horror Channel @ 21.00

An otherworldly encounter in the 50's bleeds into the 80's and has disastrous consequences for the members of a college fraternity and it's new pledges. This film isn't talked about much this days but it's one of the most entertaining and inventive horror films to crawl of the 1980's, a notoriously terrible time for the genre. This one has everything you could ever want from a scary movie and it's hilarious to boot. Plus horror hero Tom Atkins pops up to add to the fun.

Selma   Fri   18/9   RTE2 @ 22.00

A look at 3 months in the life of Dr Martin Luther King as he took part in an effort to secure equal voting rights for African Americans in 1965. An upsetting look at a period of American history that the White establishment is terrified of returning. Directed by Ava DuVernay and carried aloft by a superlative performance from David Oyelowo as Doctor King, this a history lesson that everyone should watch, especially now.