Fave films of the century so far - 2003 - City Of God

2003's City of God is a masterpiece and one that introduced me to the wonders of South American cinema. It's exciting, hilarious, face clawingly stressful and in one scene as disturbing as film can get. Take all that good stuff, throw into a blender, dress it with a phenomenal soundtrack and put it together using every cinematic technique you could ever want. The result is a watch that will stay with you forever. In a good way and a bad way.

It's the story of 2 boys (among a cast of dozens) who grew into men in the City Of God, a favela on the outskirts of Rio De Janeiro. Rocket and Lil'Dice. Rocket wanted to grow up and get out. Lil' Dice wanted to grow up and take over. In the City of God life is cheap and the film's opening scene encapsulates it perfectly

When you're penned in on all sides by crime, violence is a way of life and every day is a struggle to survive and somehow Rocket, just like that chicken, makes it through by the skin of his teeth. Lil' Dice, who's grown up to be the murderous Lil' Ze is making life as difficult as possible for him and everyone else who has the misfortune to cross his path. It sounds like a traumatic and brutal watch and there's no denying that it is in places but is also one of the most exhilarating and life affirming films you'll ever see too.

Directors Fernando Meirelles and Katia Lund just bring it altogether beautifully. One minute you'll be laughing and the next you'll want to run screaming from the room. By the time it's all over and you've caught your breath you'll want to press play again. It's just something else and it's still without a doubt my favourite film of 2003.

2002
2001
2000

Ready Or Not

Laurie Strode. Ellen Ripley. Anna Peterson. Sidney Prescott. Sarah Carter. Sally Hardesty. Can ye all push over there a little bit? Make a little room please. There's someone here to join ye. This is Grace. Why yes, that is a torn wedding dress she has on. Yup, that is a rifle and an ammo belt containing elephant bullets. Indeed that is her blood. Well some of it anyway. Grace just needs to rest for a moment and catch her breath because she's just entered the pantheon of horror icons. Please make her welcome.

The Le Domas family is old money and they are very particular about who gets to share their wealth. Alex is about to make Grace his wife and not everyone is happy about this. Some older family members see her as a gold digger but the younger generation are thankfully more welcoming. That is until a post wedding family game sees Grace running for her life when she realises just how the Le Domas fortune came about.

I loved this. Loved it. 95 minutes of blood and belly laughs. It's lean and economical and not a minute is wasted. We get a quick intro to the main players and we're off. At any given moment you'll be laughing, horrified or chewing the knuckles off yourself and you'll never once be bored or tempted to look at your watch. You have love a well paced horror film. Far too many blow their load early or save all the good stuff to the end but Ready Or Not does it right and gets it's blend of horror and comedy just perfect. It also manages to upturn all the usual horror cliches you'll expect. It's always fun when the usual tropes pop up but quickly get swatted away. 1 moment involving a car and another involving a child both made the screening I was at explode with surprised laughter.

Because it's a short film there's not much in the way of depth but the film still manages to get in it's potshots. The 1%. Their money. Their privileges. Their expectations. Their treatment of the have nots. In an era where the most powerful man in the world came from a privileged background and has no issues trampling those less fortunate it feels like a timely watch. To quote Grace "Fucking rich people." And as such it's a joy to see one of the have not's fighting back. Seeing the moneyed folk's love of classical music backfiring on them is just priceless. We all love that vicarious thrill and Samara Weaving does a mighty job as the audience proxy. She's come a long way from Summer Bay and this will be the film to really show her off. That one shot half way through the film of her looking at herself in the mirror is a brilliant one and as for her final shot. Oh yes. OH YES.

Weaving gets the lion's share of the screentime but a few others stand out. Adam Brody is quietly impressive as the black sheep of the Le Domas clan and Henry Czerny is mighty craic especially late on when all his well laid plans are crashing down around his head. It's late on that some people may have an issue with the film as it takes a turn into Bonkersville. They may decry it's silliness but everything that happens is laid out already, it's not out of the blue, it's just your own fault if you didn't listen. There's little better than the sound of appalled and disgusted laughter in a cinema and you'll hear plenty of it here during the finale. Oh and by the way, if you are a fan of This Is Spinal Tap you'll get a huge kick of out this film's use of domestic servants. Ouch.

If you like your comedy with a side order of gore go and see this. If you like your horror with a dose of hilarity you should definitely go and see this. Out in cinemas right now.

11 films on TV for you this week

Julieta   Sat   28/9   BBC4 @ 21.00

Julieta has big life changing plans afoot until a chance encounter with a face from her past forces her to confront old tragedy and the spectre of long lost family. A lesser  Pedro Almodóvar film to be sure but still a film worth watching. A touching story that will strike a chord with plenty of viewers. Emma Suárez as the titular character does great work.

Hell Or High Water   Sat   28/9   Film4 @ 21.00

Two brothers traverse the state of Texas robbing banks. On their trail are two veteran Texas rangers. It's only a matter of time before their paths cross. This modern take on the western genre is a fantastic watch. Gripping, exciting, emotional and very topical. Chris Pine, Ben Foster, Jeff Bridges and Gil Bermingham as the leads put in flawless performances.

 About A Boy   Sat   28/9   TG4 @ 21.35

Will is an immature eejit skipping from one woman to the next while living off family money. Marcus is a troubled boy living with his depressed mother Fiona. They make for an odd pairing. This adaption of Nick Hornby's book is an absolute joy. Hugh Grant is an effective lead and Nicholas Hoult and Toni Collette bring a tonne of emotion to proceedings.

One Hour Photo   Mon   30/9     TG4 @ 21.30

Sy develops photo's for a living and he's become a bit too attached to the people popping up in the pictures. One couple especially. Everyone knew Robin Williams for his comedy but he was a master of drama too and his performance here will sear itself into your brain. A tense, cringey, intriguing and quite terrifying watch. Michael Vartan and Connie Nielsen offer fine support.

The Florida Project   Tue   1/10   Film4 @ 21.00

Florida is known for it's massive amusement and theme parks. But what about the lives lived in the shadows of those money making behemoths. Little Brooklynn Prince as Moonee will break your heart in a film that's genuinely upsetting and oddly hilarious. Sean Baker's direction and his juxtaposition of poverty and wealth offer loads of food for thought. Oh and Willem Dafoe's character Bobby will become a fast fave.

Fright Night   Tue   1/10   The Horror Channel @ 22.55

Charlie's new neighbour is a dodgy one, and no one will believe him but his friend Evil Ed. A highly enjoyable vampire flick to record for Halloween. Made in 1985, its a little bit dated but its still hilariously creepy, gory, gooey & thrilling. Chris Sarandon is perfect as the smooth as hell baddie but Stephen Geoffreys steals the film as Ed in a bizarre and very memorable role.

Key Largo   Thur   3/10   TCM @ 13.30

Crime drama par excellence time. A war veteran arrives in the Florida Keys to visit the family of a dead comrade and finds that all is not well in the hotel they run. John Huston's 1948 thriller is a cracker of a watch. Tense as hell, action packed stuff that's full of the superstars of the era including Humphrey Bogart as the lead, Lauren Bacall, Lionel Barrymore and the always brilliant Edward G.Robinson.

The Faculty   Thur   3/10   Syfy @ 23.00

Secondary school is a strange time in a young person's life. But it's even stranger when your teachers start acting like they are not of this earth. Robert Rodriguez's sci-fi comedy is a scream. A funny, gooey, thrilling, bonkers look at a time most people want to forget with a cast to die for. Elijah Wood, Clea Duvall, Josh Hartnett, Salma Hayek and Famke Janssen all have a whale of a time. You will too.

The Professionals   Fri   4/10   TG4 @ 21.50

After his wife disappears an uppity rancher tasks four hired guns to get her back. But is all what it seems? Of course not. A highly entertaining bit of Western fun with a superb cast full of familiar genre faces including Burt Lancaster, Lee Marvin, Claudia Cardinale, Woody Strode and Jack Palance amongst others. All shot on location in Death Valley in glorious technicolor. What's not to love?

Casino   Fri   4/10   Dave @ 22.00

In the late 60's the Mafia moved into Las Vegas in an attempt to cash in on it's popularity. Money was made while blood was spilled and lives were irreparably destroyed. Martin Scorsese's 1995 drama is a sprawling and in places hideously violent watch but it's quality is second to none. Robert De Niro, Sharon Stone and Joe Pesci do blistering work.

12 Years A Slave   Fri   4/10   RTE1 @ 23.50

Solomon Northup, a free black man living in New York City has his life turned hellish when he's captured and sold into slavery in the America south. An excellent but nightmarish watch that never softens it's horrors because to do so would be an insult to the memory of the people afflicted. Chiwetel Ejifor is magnificent in the lead role. A film that needs to be watched. To ignore history is to repeat it.

Hotel Mumbai

On the 26th of November 2008 10 members of a militant Islamic group called Lashkar-e-Taiba started a series of co-ordinated attacks around the city of Mumbai. Bullets and bombs claimed the lives of 174 innocent people over the next 4 days. Hotel Mumbai is the story of those who lived and died inside the Taj Mahal Palace Hotel.

The Taj Mahal Palace Hotel. Pure opulence. 5 star luxury. The place to stay if you can afford it. No expense is spared. No detail is too small. The kind of spot where the heat of your bath water is measured by thermometer. Arjun (Dev Patel) is a young waiter struggling to keep up with the pace set by head chef Hemant Oberoi (Anupam Kher) . Hemant's motto is "The guest is god" and every member of staff will go out of their way to ensure the guests are happy. Among the guests that faithful day were a British/Indian heiress called Zahra (Nazanin Boniadi), her American husband David (Armie Hammer) and a pig ignorant ex Russian army operative called Vasili (Jason Isaacs). Everything was fine and dandy until that first 5.45mm bullet shattered their peaceful existence.

You won't enjoy this movie. I'd be pure wary of anyone that would. It's a very well acted but absolutely horrifying recreation of a despicable day in Indian history. Had this been a work of fiction you'd able to sit through the nonstop massacre of civilians because you'd know you'd get a cathartic ending when the heroic cops or army boys drop through the skylights and decimate the bad guys. Maybe even one of the guests themselves who go John McClane and fight back. But this is real life. There's no such catharsis here. Happy endings are as rare as hen's teeth. What you see is a bloody portrayal of hell and the real people who's lives were destroyed.

Because it's based on fact there's no denying that it feels quite exploitative at times. Not in a violent sense thankfully. The film is brutal but it never lingers on the acts of violence and the vast majority of it is depicted in quick cuts or just off screen. No, what feels like exploitation is it's use of real events to create the kind of tension you'd expect to see in an action thriller or a disaster movie. One main character is depicted hiding from terrorists in a moment that the film makers could not possibly know about. It's ott, cheap and solely there to put the audience on edge. Fair enough in fiction but when based on fact it does leave a bad taste in your mouth. But when you have a famous face at your disposal you have to give them something memorable to do.

It's here my other issue with the movie lays. In a film about an attack on a major Indian city, to give huge chunks of screen time away to European and American characters just feels wrong. In this day and age whitewashing just.....well it doesn't wash anymore. I know famous faces like Hammer and Isaacs will help sell the movie in the American and European markets but it just feels off.  Dev Patel is the only member of hotel staff developed beyond caricature and even then he still feels like a dewey eyed "native" who's mission in life is to keep the white folk comfy. The moment where he explains his Sikhism to a worried English lady will make you cringe like mad. I won't even mention Issac's Vasili. His character is no doubt a commentary on every venal, overly wealthy and spoiled bastard the staff have to deal with on a daily basis but he feels very out of place here.

This is showing on Sky movies and in selected cinemas from today. As a history lesson it's a shallow one that will give you no real idea why it all occurred. But taken solely as a depiction of the day's events it's a harrowing watch made compelling by some fine acting. Just don't expect to be smiling after it.

Another perfect pairing of Sound & Vision - Mad Men

Don Draper turns from his wife Megan and walks away. Her life is on the up and up and his life is in turmoil. She's just snagged her first job on TV and Don's callousness has just caused a work partner to kill himself. No one knows but Don and he's keeping it to himself because he always plays his cards close to his chest. Like he always does. It's his answer to his problems and the ultimate root cause of every one of his problems.

Just when you think a TV show can't be any better Mad Men hits you with this scene. A hell of a perfect combination of sound and vision.

Cool as fuck.

That intro that kicks in as Don walks into the shadows leaving yet another existence behind. Nancy Sinatra's sultry vocals and knowing lyrics wrapped around 4 characters and their double lives. Don Draper and his immense Dick Whitman secret. Pete Campbell trying to outrun his infidelity. Peggy Olsen and the pregnancy she hid and the child she gave up. Roger Sterling and his newfound love of psychedelics and the baby he can never admit is his own. Don ordering an old fashioned and that look he gives that tells you his old ways are about to return and that he's about to decimate another heart in his ongoing quest to fill the hole in in own one.

Mad Men might have moved too slowly for some but every moment in it was packed with meaning. There's no empty style there. God it was good TV.

Previous pairings

The Colour Of Money
Rules Of Attraction

Jackass II

Game Of Thrones 

Apocalypse Now

Blade

Big
Miller's Crossing

The Blues Brothers

Straight Outta Compton

The Princess Bride

American Honey

Snake In The Eagle's Shadow

On Her Majesty's Secret Service

The Untouchables

Airplane!

Dazed And Confused  

Kickboxer                                  

Grosse Point Blank

Mean Streets

Watership Down

Casablanca

Zodiac

Jackie Brown
The Good, The Bad And The Ugly
Deliverance
The Omen
Copland
Buffy The Vampire Slayer
The Mission

Before Sunset

Carlito's Way
A Knight's Tale
Platoon
Before Sunrise
Rushmore
An American Werewolf In London
Dazed And Confused
Boogie Nights
Raging Bull
Almost Famous
Once Upon A Time In The West
Goodfellas

Last Of The Mohicans

Formative cinema experiences. Seeing Cliffhanger in a pit.

A hideous Italian poster

Summer 1993. A young Roscrea idiot is 14. He's unfeasibly excited. The reason? He's going to the new Stallone film later and it's going to be deadly.

We were on holidays in Clare and had decided to head into Limerick for a night at the flicks. Me, my brother, my mother and father. The cinema in Roscrea had closed a couple of years beforehand so a trip to the movies was a rare treat. In 93 Limerick still had cinemas in the city centre so in we went. Compared to what we had before the Savoy was fancy as hell. The prices too. Through gritted teeth my Da asked for 4 tickets to Cliffhanger. "Is everyone over 15" asked the ticket dude. "Yup" lied my Da. At 14 I made it through the deception but my 11 year old brother hadn't a chance. I did what all sadistic older siblings did and laughed into my sleeve while avoiding my Mother's death stare.

Ma took the hit and went with bro to The Last Action Hero, the Schwarzeneggar dud that almost derailed his career and me and Da were taken across the road to watch our film. Yup. Across the road. For some odd reason the Savoy had a screen on the other side of Bedford row. Ours was not to reason why so we went without question....... into the dankest dirtiest cinema screen I've ever had the misfortune to step into.

We were of course the only people in the place. No one else. No one on two legs anyway. The film started. That immense opening scene, so terrifying on the big screen, gripped us in seconds. Then came the gunfire that sets the story in motion. Things quietened down then. Nice one, time to breathe. Wait a minute? What's that sound? Do you hear that? I thought we were the only ones he........ is that sound coming from below us??? FU............

A glorious Chinese poster

Rats. Bastarding rats were scampering around under our chairs. We didn't seen them but we could hear them sifting through the rubbish beneath. It was nauseating. In 2019 we would have leapt to our feet and demanded our money back. But in 1993 we would have been laughed at so we stayed put with our feet on the back of the chair in front of us and our popcorn safe in our arms. We resolved not to let the furry little hooers ruin our evening so concentrated on the action in front of us. Of course the film rocked. John Lithgow laying on the ham thick. The glorious scenery. The brutal action. That cave fight that was so violent that my Da threatened to drag me out (A year later he left Reservoir Dogs in disgust). The perfect movie for a teenage boy. All that was missing was a bit of gratuitous nudity but sure that's why Under Siege was made.

Those teenage years are when you fall for what you love big time. Music, sport, reading, whatever. For me it was film. The early 90's are where most of my faves were made and I still have a massive soft spot for the action movies and action heroes of the era. Van Damme, Seagal, Arnie, Billy Blanks, Gary Daniels, Cynthia Rothrock, Eric Roberts, Jalal Merhi (the Beirut Superstar dontchaknow), Dolph Lundgren, Olivier Gruner and Jackie Chan were my cinema heroes and most of them still are. Cliffhanger was the first time I got to see one of them in action of the big screen and it was just great. No, Twins doesn't count.

26 years later I still love Cliffhanger. I'm watching it now. With no rodent friends hopefully.

The Kitchen

I really wanted to like The Kitchen because crime films, especially gangster ones with women in the leading roles are as rare as hen's teeth. Surely the scalding reviews it's been getting couldn't be accurate. I mean how could a gangster film, always an entertaining genre, starring Melissa McCarthy, Tiffany Haddish, Elisabeth Moss, Domhnall Gleeson and Margo Martindale be bad? All that talent could no doubt overcome a dull script couldn't it? A well done period setting and a superb soundtrack could definitely help paper over a few crack no doubt?

Wrong.

New York. 1978. West of 8th avenue. Hell's Kitchen. A crime infested hole. 3 members of the Irish mafia hold up and rob a liquor store in an attempt to get funds to start a money lending business. All 3 are caught rotten in the act and jailed. 3 wives, Kathy (Melissa McCarthy), Ruby (Tiffany Haddish) and Claire (Elisabeth Moss) are left without an income. Desperation kicks in until they realise they know enough abut their husband's business to start their own. Their protection racket takes hold fast but their rapid success soon catches the eye of other Hell's Kitchen mobsters and eventually the New York City La Cosa Nostra. Blood spills.

The Kitchen is bad. Not funny bad sadly, no this one is bad bad. It's every crime movie cliche you could ever think of horsed into a blender and poured into school glass. Fine actresses and actors are saddled with dialogue that makes them look like z movie amateurs. Worst of all it feels like a much longer movie that's been hastily cut down by nervous studio executives so as to fit in more daily screenings. Every scene as a result feels disjointed, plot points appear from nowhere and vanish just as fast. Characters that are supposed to be important are barely glimpsed and storylines get very confusing very fast. There's no connective tissue in the story leaving the whole thing like a collection of scenes with no bit of flow in between. Everything non essential is gone or stuffed into one of many many montages scored with a 70's hit thrown in to distract us from the shoddiness of what we're watching. I'd swear i heard someone groan during the 3rd (!!!) Fleetwood Mac moment.

Widows, released last year, had a kind of similar plot but did it so much better. A group of women thrown into a world of crime run by men. Men who'd never take them seriously. It had a narrow view but cast a wide spotlight on endemic misogyny and sexism in every strata. The Kitchen (Women should stay in the kitchen!! Get it!! Subtle as a brick to the mush) tries to do similar and dies on its hoop because you won't give a single shit about anyone on screen. Not one character seems like a genuine person and it's a pain in the face seeing brilliant actors wasted like this. Melissa McCarthy is a walking haircut and nothing about her storyline rings true especially the life changing decisions made late in the film. Tiffany Haddish wants to be Foxy Brown so much it hurts. No, it actually hurts. She's a gifted comedian but drama isn't her forte yet. Domhnall Gleeson is walking plot device who's story peters out to nothing. Margo Martindale is gut wrenchingly dreadful which if you've seen her superlative TV work makes it all very hard to bear. Elisabeth Moss is the only person to come out of this with any pride intact. Her character gets a proper arc and the film's one fun moment when she begins to enjoy her new found strength to the sound of Heart's Barracuda. It's fun seeing Peggy Olsen and Offred lashing out in style.

That's it though. 30 seconds in a 100 minute long film. Jesus. Maybe there was a better film here. Maybe what was snipped might have turned this into a more cohesive whole. Maybe if it felt smoother the weaker stuff might have been easier to swallow. But we'll probably never know. It's a shame. It's the directorial debut of Andrea Berloff and there was high hopes for this. Berloff was the writer behind 2015's Straight Outta Compton and that was a highly entertaining watch so we all assumed we'd be in for more of the same here. A sprawling epic filled with interesting characters and great dialogue. Oh well. Pffft.

One good thing has come out of this though. Annabella Sciorra makes a return to our screens. A brilliant actress who's career was nearly destroyed after she had the misfortune to cross paths with the monster Harvey Weinstein. Her role is small but it's a very welcome one. Every cloud and all that. A cliched line no doubt but a small sin compared to this effort.

Fave films of the century so far - 2002 - Catch Me If You Can

Catch Me If You Can is a joy. It's Spielberg at the top of his game. It's light, frothy & hilarious while also being packed with family strife and never being afraid to go dark when the plot requires. It's the archetypal Steven Spielberg movie in other words.

It's the story of Frank Abagnale jr, a young man who became one of the most notorious con artists in history. He started young, impersonating teachers while still in school and before long he was posing as a Pan Am pilot and successfully stole millions of dollars from the company. He had his fun and his money got him more than his fair share of female attention but he was never able to fill the hole in his heart left by the departure of his mother. Not surprisingly his exploits also attracted the FBI and Frank spent a large chunk of his life being chased by an FBI agent called Carl Hanratty. One day they met for the first time.

The above scene paints a perfect picture of the film. Funny, tense, ballsy as hell. Frank knowing he's goosed so he instantly pulls off the con of a lifetime and Carl buys it hook, line and sinker. When you've nothing to lose you have to go for it.

This wonderful film is carried by an amazing performance from a never better Leonardo DiCaprio. His Frank is a thief but you can't help liking him. A charmer who'd pat you on the back with one hand while distracting you with the other. Tom Hanks is Tom Hanks, always likable but the film's secret weapon is Christopher Walken who played Frank Abagnale Sr. A man broken by life and by his wife's betrayal. He's the soul of the story even though he's in the film for less than 20 minutes. Everything Frank Jr does is to give him a better life but he wants none of it. He only wants his son's attention but Frank is too busy flying high to spend time with him. Both of them together are a perfect representation of the damage wrought on a family by infidelity. That said both of them together give us the film's biggest laugh during Sr's reaction to Jr being busted for a teacher impersonation.

Without a doubt my favourite watch of 2002. It's a rare 140 minute film that flies by but this one zips past you in a blur of laughs, knuckle biting drama and style. It's so good.

2001
2000

10 films on TV this week that you might enjoy

Waiting To Exhale   Sat   21/9   TG4 @ 21.20

Savannah, Bernadine, Gloria and Robin are 4 African American women dealing with what both life and the the men they're involved with hands to them. This star studded 1995 drama is an engaging and in places very funny look at a group of people far too often over looked in cinema. Angela Bassett, Whitney Houston and Loretta Devine all do stellar work.

The Talented Mr Ripley   Sat   21/9   BBC2 @ 23.15

Tom's a snake who finagles a free trip to Italy from a millionaire looking for the return of his playboy son, Dicky. The only problem is Tom takes far too much of a liking to Dicky's lifestyle. Anthony Minghella's drama is a stunner, a dark, twisting and glorious look at lives of the haves and the have nots. Matt Damon, Gwyneth Paltrow, Jude Law and Philip Seymoure Hoffman among others are at the top of their game here.

The Lady Vanishes   Sun   22/9   BBC2 @ 10.45

While travelling on a train across Europe a young woman makes friends with an elderly lady who all of a sudden vanishes from the train. No one else seems to know who the older woman was at all. One of Hitchcock's earliest thrillers is a doozy of a watch, full of suspense and so so watchable. So influential too. Margaret Lockwood, May Whitty and Michael Redgrave are all excellent.

84 Charing Cross Road   Sun   22/9   RTE1 @ 14.15

Helene lives in New York. Frank lives in North London. Helene loves old books. Old books are Frank's business. A letter from her about them sparks a life long friendship played out through the post. A perfect Sunday afternoon watch. A story about the ties that bind and taking a chance. Anne Bancroft and Anthony Hopkins are both splendid in their parts and get mighty back up from Judi Dench and Mercedes Ruehl.

The Seventh Seal  Sun   22/9   BBC4 @ 22.55

Antonius Block has finally returned to Sweden from the crusades. Nearing home he is literally faced with the spectre of death and he challenges it to a game of chess in order to win back his life. Ingmar Bergman's celebrated classic isn't for everyone but if you stick with it it will blow your mind. A movie that has influenced 1000's of others in the last 60 years. Max Von Sydow as block is amazing and there's imagery here that will stay with you forever.

Tigerland   Mon   23/9   TG4 @ 21.30

A young infantry recruit training for Vietnam in 1971 Louisiana tries to fight back against the system but the system is having none of it. The film that made Colin Farrell a star. He's just magnetic in the role of the rebellious Boz and IMO no film since has used his potential as much as this one did. A funny, sad & tense film that evokes a sultry and superb 70's atmosphere. Watch out for Michael Shannon in a early role.

The Wicker Man   Mon   23/9   Film4 @ 23.50

A police detective sent to a remote Scottish Island in search of a young missing girl finds himself very out of his depth. A true classic of a horror film. Not scary as such but deeply unsettling and extremely atmospheric. Edward Woodward puts in a career best performance as a man very pure of soul. Christopher Lee as always is immense as the local Lord. All this and an ending you'll nver forget.

They Live   Wed   25/9   The Horror Channel @ 22.55

Aliens have taken over society and only one man can see them. He's mad as hell and he ain't going to take it anymore. On the surface John Carpenter's action/sci-fi might seem loud and silly but it's actually an intelligent and frighteningly prescient story and the dangers of advertising and apathy. Roddy Piper and Keith David are great fun as the leads. Oh and there's a fistfight for the ages.

The Killing Of A Sacred Deer   Thur   26/9   Film4 @ 21.00

Steven, a surgeon and Martin, the son of a man who died on his operating table meet and form an odd bond. Steven is strange but Martin........well. This is one weird as hell movie but there's so much going on here you'll be glued to your chair. It's creepy as hell, laugh out loud funny, intensely cringeworthy and brilliantly bizarre. Colin Farrell and Nicole Kidman are good but Barry Keoghan owns this one.

My Brother The Devil   Fri   27/9   BBC2 @ 23.45

Mo and Rashid are two Muslim brothers growing up in Hackney. Rashid is in a gang and doesn't want that life for his brother. Rashid has a big secret that's not exactly compatible with his religion. A beautiful looking film that tells a familiar story but with it's own unique slant on things. James Floyd and Fady Elsayed as the brothers both give committed, genuine performances.

Rambo : Last Blood

Elephant in the room time. Trump fans are going to love Rambo : Last Blood, a film about an American icon taking on the Mexicans. They'll whoop at shots of the border and they'll holler as the man himself dismembers, bisects and decapitates an army of bad guys. All while they totally overlook the fact that the man himself has always had nothing but contempt for the land he now calls home again. In 2019 it's a tough call to ignore the politics of this movie and this will put off a lot of people even though the movie was written long before the orange tinted gobshite came to power. If however you just want a vicariously bloody thrill you won't go wrong here because my god it's violent.

John Rambo (Stallone) has finally found some kind of peace on a farm in Arizona. He lives there with his niece Gabrielle (Yvette Monreal) and her grandmother Maria (Adriana Barraza) while raising horses out on the llano. Gabrielle travels south of the border in an attempt to reunite with her father and runs into trouble fast. Once again John is forced to return to bullet and blade to make things right.

In 1987 Michael Ryan shot and killed 16 people in Hungerford. Films once again became the scapegoat and in the aftermath the British Board Of Film Classification waged a war on screen violence and films were regularly shredded to soften them for mass consumption. One such film was Rambo III which was shorn of over 3 minutes of bloodletting. If Last Blood had been released back then every reel of footage would have been police escorted back to the airport and out of the country. It's gory action at it's most jaw dropping. It's the ultra-violent love child of Taken and Home Alone. If you've seen these you'll know exactly how things are going to play out. Except there's a lot more pierced craniums this time. There's more than a whiff of Unforgiven in here too. A man born of violence forced to return to what he does best. One beautifully framed shot of John under a tree will bring you right back to that western classic. The clash of genres feels satisfying too. Rambo's back on horseback again and it ties what feels like a series outlier back to part III.

A slow moving (but not boring) start puts the movie's pieces into place. Rambo's been in our lives for 38 years now but this is the first time he's not been alone. It's heartening to see the craggy ol' guy smiling and enjoying himself. Family suits him. His smile would give you a lift. Who the hell ever expected to see a selfie stick in a Rambo movie? Then it all goes to hell when the story moves to Mexico and criminals enter the picture. These guys are the worst, capable of stuff that will make your skin crawl until you demand a biblical awakening for them. From here on the film hits every beat you expect but does it in such a blistering fashion that you'll barely have enough time to think. Don't expect the huge battles of 2008's Rambo here. This time director Adrian Grunberg stages the carnage on a more intimate scale. The horror is close up and there's loads of it. If you are any bit squeamish you need to avoid this like the plague.

Sylvester Stallone has embraced nostalgia in the last decade with the Expendables series and the return of a certain Mr Balboa. He's an actor who knows his limitations and as such relies on audience goodwill and the shorthand he's built up with his longterm fans. John Rambo was never the most verbose character and at times it's been hard to warm to him but when you see him old and crocked and lashing down the medication you'll empathise with him for the first time since 1981's First Blood. This combined with the film's suggestive title add a tension to proceedings that's been lacking in the last 3 installments of the series. Could one of cinema's most enduring faces finally kick the bucket?

In cinemas everywhere from today.

Ad Astra

Ignore the trailers, Ad Astra is all about the hard work that goes on behind the scenes of the advertisements for Opel Cars. Their sleek lines, their glorious interiors, their turbocharged engines, their........I jest of course. Ad Astra is the story of self absorbed men and the distances they go to to get away from it all.

Earth. The near future. The world is ruined. Mankind has journeyed beyond the confines of the planet in search of alternative fuel sources and extraterrestrial life. The moon has become a warzone as countries plunder it's resources and Mars has become the launching point for missions beyond the stars. A rogue power surge emanating from the distance reaches of our solar system has just hit Earth causing catastrophic problems and Major Roy McBride has been tasked with solving the problem because he may have a personal connection to the root of the issue.

Ad Astra builds a world that seems both scarily realistic and horribly, blandly sterile. Lunar travel has become commercial and you get absolutely rode for the privilege. The moon has become just another homogenised holiday destination. Every move you make is questioned and under scrutiny. Every thought is up for analysis. Mankind has colonised another planet and ruined it like we ruin everything. It's against this brilliantly realised backdrop that the plot of Ad Astra (latin for "To the Stars" btw) plays out and unfortunately it just feels like yet another ponderous and somewhat inconsequential story of one man's mission to find himself and understand what makes him tick. 

It's James Grey's film but it feels like Terrence Malick in space. The languid, downbeat narration, the beauty of nature that can turn bad in a moment, the destructive path men weave through everything we encounter. It's not until the end that the main theme of the film stands out and while it rings true it just doesn't feel like enough. It's like a car trip through a glorious landscape that ends in a disappointing destination. The journey though, a feast for the eyes. Grey wanted to make the most realistic depiction of space travel and he's succeeded. Every frame away from Earth is beauty and danger in equal measure.

Brad Pitt is excellent in the main role. He's always a likable onscreen presence and the last decade or so as seen some phenomenal work from him. The Assassination Of Jesse James By The Coward Robert Ford, Moneyball, The Tree of Life, Once Upon A Time In Hollywood, Killing Them Softly. Troubled men, dappled with shades of grey. Roy McBride is the latest. Cool as a cucumber but a sea of turmoil under the surface, scarred by the past, unafraid of the future as a result. It's mighty work and not surprisingly everyone else works in his shadow but we still get solid showings from Tommy Lee Jones, Donald Sutherland and our own Ruth Negga who turns up as a Martian with a past not dissimilar to Roy. Liv Tyler as Roy's wife Eve though may as well have not even been in the film and Natasha Lyonne's appearance is just an insult to her.

Ad Astra isn't going to be a film for everyone. I found it ultimately disappointing but I've always had trouble with sci-fi that didn't contain lightsabres, AT-ST's and Ewoks. Go for the beauty of interplanetary travel, a superbly visualised future and a Brad Pitt showing that once again cements his status as one of the best leading men around. Just don't expect much else. Apart from the most surprising space attack you'll ever see. Seriously.

Too much

Netflix
Amazon prime
Hulu
HBO Max
Sling TV
CBS All Access
Playstation VUE
Starz
Shudder
Mubi
Apple TV
Google Play
Criterion
Vudu
Volta
The Criterion Channel
Kanopy
Film Movement Plus
Magnolia Selects
Ovid.tv
Youtube Red
Disney + (on the way)

It's never been easier to watch a film and TV legally online. Streaming platforms are everywhere. There's one for children's movies. There's one for horror. There's one for arthouse and there's ones everything in between. There's a multitude of choice. But that's the problem. There's way too much choice. Never in a million years could you keep up. Plus they're all subscription services. Imagine it. 20+ separate direct debits being sliced out of your account each month. You'd have to work every hour sent to pay for them and then you'd have no time to watch any of them.

Then there's the issue of rights and well...legality. Netflix US has far more content than Netflix Ireland because they have the rights and we don't. Amazon has a tonne of stuff that can't be shown in Ireland for the same reason. Stuff like the Criterion channel and Hulu can only be viewed in Ireland if you use a VPN. It's not technically illegal but it is a pain in the nuts and you have to pay for the VPN on top of everything else.

I swear it was easier when we just had RTE1 and 2.

Hustlers

The biggest mistake Jennifer Lopez ever made was marrying Ben Affleck. Jen and Ben became Bennifer. You couldn't get away from them. Every time you turned on the TV or cracked a magazine there they were. Then they started working together. A huge error. They created Gigli in 2003 and her film career went down the toilet soon after. She's worked solidly since but nothing ever struck a chord with the public. Until now. She's so good in Hustlers that she'll finally be able to forget that 16 year old turkey. Gobble gobble.

Manhattan. Before the financial crisis. Dorothy's a face fresh on the New York strip club scene but it's not working out the way she expected. One faithful cigarette break later she's taken under the wing of veteran stripper Ramona and oh how the cash rolls in. Then boom, the bubble bursts and the Wall Street money disappears. Life is tough when your body is your commodity so Ramona and Dorothy resort to unorthodox methods to stay living in the lifestyle to which they have become accustomed.

I honestly didn't know what to expect with this and left the cinema very very surprised. It's a look at the damage wrought by the financial crisis from a viewpoint far too often ignored in favour of bank bro's. Happily it's also so much more than the flesh fest promised by the trailers and there's a depth on display here that will genuinely surprise. Director Lorene Scafaria has a real affection for her characters and it shows in their interplay with each other (this film definitely passes the Bechdel test) and how they are displayed onscreen. It's odd seeing a film set in strip clubs filmed with a female gaze. The gratuitous nudity you'd usually expect to see is scaled back and almost incidental and it helps us viewers see the cast as people to empathise with instead of someone to ogle.

It's this ogling and treatment from the male customers of the clubs that makes the women's plan of action easy to swallow. Scafaria doesn't soften what they do or absolve them of their sins and it's refreshing to see them treated in the exact same way as a male cast would be. The glorification, the wallowing, the eventual fall. It's all present and it's here that comparisons to Scorsese's films like Goodfellas and The Wolf Of Wall Street are clear. Unlike those though you'll care about the people you're watching. They like each other and aren't out to stick the knife in as soon as they can.

Constance Wu (So good in Fresh Of The Boat) is a fine lead but Hustlers is J-Lo's baby. She's a fuckin' movie star here and owns the screen every time she appears, whether it be rocking a Chinchilla fur coat on a strip club roof or bonding with another generation over Frankie Valli. Ramona's someone everyone falls for and Lopez sells it with ease. It's an immensely likable performance and one that's going to reap awards with ease come next year. Every bloke that turns up in this is a sleaze. It's hilarious, it's pathetic and none of them are even worth mentioning. This one is all about the ladies.

Go see this. It's funny, it's thrilling, it's intelligent, it rocks.

The Fanatic

Back in 2000 Devon Sawa starred in the video for Eminem's song Stan, a song about a psychotic fan who murdered his girlfriend and killed himself in an attempt to get the rapper's attention. The song was a monster hit and the video was omnipresent, you literally couldn't get away from it. 6 years before that John Travolta was riding high. Pulp Fiction was everywhere as it had just won the Palme D'or at the Canne Festival and Travolta's star was as high as it had ever been. 19 years later they both star together in The Fanatic. It will be without a doubt the lowest point of either career. Things can only go back up from here. They have to.

Moose is a film fan. He lives and breathes them. They are his life. He has nothing else apart from panhandling on Hollywood Boulevard for loose change. Every penny he has goes on props and collectibles from films and his main hobby is building his library of film star autographs. Moose is also rather unstable and when his favourite film star, Hunter Dunbar, rebuffs his offer of friendship at a signing event he goes off the deep end. In a spectacular fashion.

"I can't talk too long. I gotta poo." The first words in this piece of shit are very apt. It's atrocious stuff. A story that's been done to death and wrapped around a performance from John Travolta that would put any other career into a shallow grave. He's appalling. His is a take on mental illness that wouldn't look out of place in a Wayans Brother movie and it both infantilises and mocks people afflicted with mental health problems. I cannot fathom how anyone thought this take on a role would be a good one. Remember that Gary Oldman film from years ago where he played a dwarf? This makes that look like Oscar material. Someone should have dragged him aside and reminded him of his former glory. "Danny Zuko, Chili Palmer, Sean Archer, Tony Manero, Vincent fucking Vega!! You're better than this trash!!" You'll watch his every scene through your fingers. From behind the couch. While you rock back and forth. And maybe cry.

That's if you haven't turned it off after 10 minutes because Travolta is far from the only issue here. It's aimless, it has pointless sporadic narration, it's all over the place, it whimpers to a close rather than ending and it's just plain ugly. Director Fred Durst (Yes, him of Limp Bizkit fame. Apparently this story is based on events that happened to him) does not have a good eye and it makes for bland unappealling watching. It's boring, it drags even with a running time of 90 minutes and no one shines. No one. The supporting cast is amateur hour 101 and is full of faces you're guaranteed never to see again.

Devon Sawa as Hunter isn't bad though and plays Hunter as a truly irredeemable piece of muck. It's here where a slight comparison to Scorsese's King Of Comedy pops up. That far far far superior watch was also about a celeb and an unhinged fan except that had an amazing Robert De Niro and a very nasty Jerry Lewis. Like Lewis's role Sawa's performance has a big ring of truth about it. Actors in genre movies do tend to attract a stranger type of fan and it's very easy to imagine them getting bothered by it all. That's it though. That's all this film has going for it. A good performance from an actor playing a character you'll hate. It's not enough is it. We need something more than that.

Don't waste your time with this dull and offensive psychological thriller that dies a death instead of offering anything new. Travolta is appalling but at least he's finally made a film that's worse than Battlefield Earth. That's something to hold onto i suppose.

10 films on TV this week that are worth your time

Eye In The Sky   Sat   14/9   CH4 @ 21.00

The ethics of modern warfare are up for debate when a drone strike on a terrorist compound is interrupted by the unexpected arrival of a young girl and her market stall. A horribly tense watch that will leave you with a pain in your face from clenching your jaw. Far from enjoyable but very compelling. Helen Mirren leads a nice cast getting back up from Aaron Paul and the much missed Alan Rickman.

Drag Me To Hell   Sat   14/9   Film4 @ 22.55

Sam Raimi's hilariously gooey & crunchy tale of a young woman's mistake and her efforts to fix that mistake. Alison Lohman has a whale of a time in the lead role and certainly earns her pay as she gets thrown around the screen like the Coyote in the old Roadrunner cartoons. This is the perfect horror film for people who claim not to like horror. It's very funny and you'll snort laughing as much as you roar at the screen

The Company You Keep   Sun   15/9   BBC2 @ 22.40

Jim Grant, a former anti war activist has been hiding for 30 years from the FBI. In the midst of a tragedy his cover is blown and he has to go on the run. Robert Redford does fine work in a interesting and melancholic drama that harks back to both his cinema golden days and the romance of 1960's America. Julie Christie, Susan Sarandon, Brendan Gleeson and Shia LaBeouf all give first rate support.

Steve Jobs   Mon   16/9   TG4 @ 21.30

Steve Jobs, the man who made Apple into what it is today wasn't a very nice person. We meet him at 3 stages in his life and get an insight into what made him tick. Danny Boyle's drama is an engaging watch and one that isn't afraid to show the nasty side of it's subject. Michael Fassbender as Jobs & Kate Winslet as Joanna Hoffman put in a mighty shifts and Seth Rogen is surprising in a dramatic role as Steve Wozniak.

Summertime   Mon   16/9   BBC4 @ 23.00

France, the early 70's. Delphine is under pressure to marry but she's keeping the secret that she's gay from her farming parents. Until one day she meets Carole who introduces he to a way of life she never thought within her grasp. A beautiful looking and splendidly acted film about a dark period in a young life that starts in one place and ends rather differently. Izïa Higelin & Cécile de France both do wonderful work.

The Limey   Mon   16/9   TCM @ 23.40

Wilson is on his way to Los Angeles to find the truth behind his daughter's death. He's angry. Steven Soderbergh's thriller is an excellent example of modern day film noir. It's exciting, hilarious in places and pleasingly dark. Terence Stamp as the titular character puts in a performance that shows why he's endured for 50+ years and the film makes great use of archive footage of him as a young man to add authenticity to proceedings.

Martha Marcy May Marlene   Tues   17/9   Film4 @ 01.45

Martha is a troubled woman woman struggling to rejoin society and re-adjust to a normal life after leaving a cult that abused her physically and psychologically. A haunting and troubling watch that's tough going but ultimately rewarding. Elizabeth Olsen gives a performance that will stay with you for a long time and John Hawkes & Sarah Paulson are deadly as always in supporting roles. Required viewing.

Maggie   Thur   19/9   The Horror Channel @ 00.35

A man sets out to find a cure for his daughter after she's bitten during a zombie attack. Ya, I know it's yet another zombie film but this one is a far deeper and more personal story than the usual gorefests. Young Maggie is played by Abigail Breslin and her father is none other than Arnold Schwarzenegger who honest to god, does some real acting for once as a man struggling to come to terms with his worst nightmare.

12 Angry Men   Fri   20/9   Film4 @ 11.00

A young man is on trial for murder. 11 men in the jury think he's guilty. 1 man can see reasonable doubt and sets out to change the mind of the others. 12 men in 1 room talking. Sounds deathly dull doesn't it. It's not. It's a masterpiece of film. It's gripping stuff and brilliantly acted from a cast of famous faces including Lee J.Cobb, Martin Balsam, Ed Begley and Henry Fonda as the conscience laden juror number 8.

Immortals   Fri   20/9   Syfy @ 21.00

Greece. A long time ago. King Hyperion is rampaging and the Gods cannot intervene. They can however pick a mortal to do their bidding for them. Your enjoyment of Immortals depends on how seriously you take yourself. If you can go with it you'll get to wallow in a gory feast for the senses. If you can't just watch the Late Late Show. Henry Cavill is a solid hero and Mickey Rourke in full on tyrant mode is great value.

Extra Ordinary

It's a lovely feeling when you leave the cinema still laughing at what you've just watched. It's even better when you've genuinely enjoyed what you've just watched and you aren't laughing ironically as is far too often the case. The very last word spoken in Extra Ordinary creased me up and 3 hours later it's still making me smile. It will make you smile too. TBH you'll be smiling throughout Extra Ordinary because it's a joy.

Rose (Maeve Higgins) has tried to reinvent herself as a driving instructor but the vast majority of the phone calls she receives are to do with her former life as an investigator of the paranormal. It's a life she's been desperately trying to get away from but a call from Martin Martin (Barry Ward) revives her interest when she finds herself attracted to him. On the other side of town a failing musician called Christian Winter (Will Forte) is trying to revive his music career and he's turned to the supernatural to do so. His evil ways set him, Rose and Martin on a collision course with each other.

From it's opening scenes of the world's most inconsiderate rubbish collector and a cutlery drawer haunted by a ghost from Italia 90 to it's insanely Irish final moment Extra Ordinary is a success. It's that rare beast, a horror comedy that manages to be both hilarious and spooky while retaining a big gooey emotional core. Amidst the ectoplasmic puking, mistaken wolfmen and 7-up tears there's a touching story about loneliness and dealing with grief and channelling both into something positive that will strike a chord with many viewers. It's adds a lovely depth to a genre that often only gets mined for shock value.

Horror and comedy turn out best when you give a shit about the characters on screen and Extra Ordinary runs like a charm here. The pairing of Rose and Martin just works. From the moment they meet you want them to be together and their every scene is a delight. Toasted sandwiches, mints, juice boxes, gagging, Biddy from Glenroe, a quick punch in the arm, their palpable chemistry. Maeve Higgins and Barry Ward bounce off each other effortlessly and we get to love the results. Higgins really sells the awkwardness and loneliness of Rose's life and Ward, late in the film, shows a flair for physical comedy that will leave you sore from laughing. Just wait til that fag appears. Deadly.

Will Forte though, as Christian just rocks it. He's hammier than a lovechild of Al Pacino and Joan Crawford and he just goes for it with all guns blazing as a comedy villain who's masterplan is actually really feckin sinister. It's in his scenes that director Mike Ahern & Enda Loughman's love for the horror genre really becomes apparent. Nods to the Exorcist and The Devil Rides Out hit home, animal familiars, one very unexpected scene of gore will take your breathe away and the climax reaches a fever pitch that will have you fearing for our heroes while breaking your heart laughing too. It's wild stuff and goes to places few Irish films have dared to thread while treating us to some very impressive visual fx into the bargain.

Extra Ordinary has easily jumped into my top 10 of 2019. I'm not saying that because it's an Irish film. I'm saying it because it's warm, funny, unsettling and very entertaining. The fact that it's Irish is the icing on the cake. All that and it has the best goat scene ever. Go see it. Now, quick, run.

Dawn Of The Dead - a formative viewing experience

I used to read and love The Darkside magazine in the early 90's. It was a great introduction to the world of horror movies. It introduced me to a whole new world of film, one that rarely got shown on TV. Names like Mario Bava, John Carpenter, Ruggero Deodato, Lucio Fulci, Dario Argento, Joe D'amato, Wes Craven, Tobe Hooper and George A. Romero kept cropping up in every issue and one film appeared constantly throughout.

Dawn Of The Dead.

The world is under attack from the dead. Survivors realised fighting back is futile and go on the run. 4 of them end up in a shopping centre in the suburbs of Pittsburgh and decide to hold up for a while. It's a nothing story when you think about it but the gory stills in the magazine hooked me. I had to see it. But this was the early 90's and actually finding a film was a lot harder than it is now. Roscrea was full of video shops but none of them had this one.

Until the day I found it tucked away on a bottom shelf in Oobie's videos. Oh jesus. The excitement. I'd finally found it. I was finally going to see it. I brought it to the counter. I made sure I had the 1.50 i needed to rent it out. I joined the queue. I was giddy as hell. Fuckin hell this queue is taking forever. I placed the video on the counter. I said "I'd like to rent this please."

"No, you aren't 18. I can't rent this to you."

The disappointment was crushing. Then Oobie the fucker laughed and handed it over after leaving me shamed for a sufficient amount of time. I left the shop red in the face but ran home. The coast was clear. My parents weren't at home. The lads arrived, Shanahans and Fletchers, the partners in crime. We all started our film watching careers together. I had sold them on this film, telling them it was going to be horrific. Blood and guts were manna from heaven to teenage boys. Fags were lit. I popped the video in the machine and pressed play.

"That was a hape of shite."

One of the missing scenes

The film was over. The Gonk was playing over the ending credits of zombies swarming a dead shopping centre. I felt disappointed. The version we'd rented out had been snipped to hell by the British Board of Film Censorship. All the blood and gore that had been promised to us by the Darkside magazine was missing. No exploding heads. No zombie meets machete. No biker evisceration. What a joke. It all felt tame as hell.The lads left grumbling. I knew I'd never hear the end of it.

Then something odd happened. What I'd just been disappointed by wouldn't leave my head. For hours after. Days. Weeks. I rented it again and this time it clicked. A cinematic lightbulb moment. It was cut to hell but the cuts didn't affect the quality. It was good. Then it was great. It was intelligent. It was well made. I actually wanted the characters in it to survive. It made me think. This was new. It's themes of consumerism started to appear. It made sense. I understood it. This wasn't something that usually happened with me. Before that when i watched a movie I enjoyed it and then forgot it. This time that didn't happen. I had a new favourite film.

25 years later it's still a fave and now i'm going to watch it again. Sweet.