Counting your blessings

I was on the 304 bus into town the other morning.

Cranky mood - check
Packed bus - check
Hint of BO in the air - check

A woman got on and sat a few seats in front of me and straight away she was talking on her phone. Loudly. You could feel the "FUCK SAKE" vibes coming off the people on board. But she sounded horribly stressed, roaring down the phone, the jist of it all being about schooling her 2 autistic kids. You'd feel bad for listening but it was impossible to avoid. She was like a demon. The mood on the bus changed from anger to pity in seconds. It was brutal.

Then it was over. The bus was silent. She realised we'd all been listening and she was mortified. Her head dropped and the woman next to her asked her was she ok. She burst out crying. A month's worth of stress must have poured out of her in a second. I'd say it had been an age since anyone asked her about her. It was the kind of moment that would make you realise how lucky you are. My own little problems paled in comparison. I cannot imagine being that stressed out that I'd cry in public. The pressure on her must be intense.

I hope she got everything sorted. Im glad that woman asked her was she ok too. It's something we should do more of.

Katie

On the 9th of August 2012 Katie Taylor rocked London's ExCeL arena by beating Sofya Ochigava to win an Olympic gold medal in the light division of women's boxing. Her victory attained courtesy of two vicious left hooks in the third round and a brutal 1-2-3 of punches in the final round. It was a joyous evening. All of Ireland watching on TV and an arena full of green roaring for her. That few seconds before her name was called had us in bits and we raised the roof when she dropped to her knees as the realisation of her win kicked in. It was fuckin mighty. Our Katie.

Before all that she was a young girl from Bray. Sports mad. Good at everything she tried. Disguising herself as a boy to enter boxing tournaments at a time when Women's boxing wasn't allowed in Ireland. Her preternatural speed and ability to put together hard combinations saw her rise rapidly until she reached the pinnacle of the amateur sport. Then a crushing blow almost ruined everything. A blow that came from the last place she expected. Her own corner.

I loved this, got pure emotional during it. It's a superb documentary, lovingly created from an abundance of archival footage and interviews with Katie herself who when she lets her guard (slightly) down comes across as far warmer and funnier than we've previously seen. It's great to get that bit of insight about her. Her drive, what makes her tick, how hurt she was by that infamous paternal betrayal that was splashed across Ireland's newspapers back in 2016. The Katie we see at pre-match press conferences always came across as rock hard, laser sighted on her goal, a woman who could not be swayed. Here we get a sense of the emotional damage that year wrought on her psyche and it will make your heart break for her. Unlike a lot of documentarians director Ross Whitaker doesn't feel the need to insert himself into the narrative and it's so much better as a result. He just shows us the story.

Happily the film doesn't delve into the minutiae of the split between her and her Da, it's touched on and that's it. The film is about her. His presence looms over proceedings but we only see and hear from him in old footage. There's no gory or sordid details dwelt upon. It happened and it broke her but she found the strength to come back and this for me was one of the greatest things about this watch. Even though it's a documentary it's structured like a boxing film. Her humble beginnings, her rise to fame, hitting the top before everything crumbles and then the slow rebuild, the strength, the force of will and that fierce determination to get back on top. Even when you know the outcome of the boxing footage you're watching you'll still be bobbing and weaving in your seat, cringing at the slow motion clatters she takes and resisting the urge to stand up and cheer at the outcome.

Her support system gets a good look in too. Her Mam Bridget, her sister Sarah, her brothers Lee and Peter, her new coach Ross Enamait. All of them so proud of her but in no way hiding their fear at what could happen as she enters the professional arena. There's a great scene in a Bray restaurant where she's eating with her oldest friends and they are at once so happy for her and at the same time keeping her down to earth with a bit of gentle ribbing. It's such an Irish moment, one we'll all recognise.

Go see this if it's on near you. It will give you a new found appreciation for one of our best ever sporting icons. She doesn't give everything away about herself though, parts of her are still a mystery but we get enough to ensure we'll cheer even louder the next time she's in the ring.

11 films worth watching on TV this week

Sommersby   Sat   27/10   TG4 @ 21.50

When her husband returns home from the American Civil war a woman has her suspicions as to his intentions, especially when he's a lot nicer than the man who left. This 1993 romantic drama sounds like a drag but a fiercely committed performance from Jodie Foster makes sure you'll be glued to it throughout. Richard Gere and Bill Pullman offer fine support in this solid depiction of the post antebellum south.

Pale Rider   Sat   27/10   ITV4 @ 23.00

Clint Eastwood stars as a mysterious preacher who rides into frontier town upon a pale horse to help the inhabitants fight back against a big time miner who wants their land. So far so cliched but beautiful scenery, a splendid atmosphere plus a wee dab of the supernatural liven up proceedings no end. Classic western fans will love it but it's eerieness suits it to this time of year too.  

Inferno   Sun   28/10   Film4 @ 01.10

Video Nasty time. A pair of siblings either side of the Atlantic ocean are affected by supernatural violence. The second film in Dario Argento's Three Mother's trilogy is an unsettling watch. It makes very little sense but it's brilliantly surreal, very atmospheric and downright beautiful in places. Irene Miracle and Leigh McCloskey are interesting leads and a nightmarish Central park set-piece will stay with you long after the film is over.

Dr Strangelove   Sun   28/10   TCM @ 18.00

General Jack. D. Ripper is trying to start World War 3 and it's up to a war room full of egotastical politicians and soldiers to just a stop to everything. Stanley Kubrick's insane masterpiece is a film that lives up to the hype. Hilarious in places, surreal in others and downright terrifying all over. The cast is amazing too and includes Peter Sellers, George C.Scott, Peter Sellers, Sterling Hayden, Slim Pickens and....Peter Sellers.

Eye In The Sky   Mon   29/10   Film4 @ 21.00

The ethics of modern warfare are up for debate when a drone strike on a house containing terrorists is interrupted by the unexpected arrival of a young girl. A brutally tense watch that will leave you with a pain in your face from clenching your jaw. Far from enjoyable but very compelling. Helen Mirren leads a nice cast getting back up from Aaron Paul and the much missed Alan Rickman.

The Big Lebowski   Mon   29/10   TG4 @ 21.30

The Dude's carpet has been ruined and this aggression will not stand, man. So he sets out to right some wrongs and gets tangled up in a bizarre web of intrigue. The Coen Brother's 1997 comedy is a masterpiece of mistaken identity, bowling, strongly vaginal art and some very angry people all wrapped around a superb cast that includes Jeff Bridges, Steve Buscemi, Julianne Moore, Philip Seymour Hoffman and a never better John Goodman.

The Descent   Mon   29/10   The Horror Channel @ 22.45

Six female friends go on a potholing expedition into an underground cavern. Things of course go absolutely arseways. First off, if you are claustrophobic don't even bother with this. You'll be terrified and out of breath before the horror elements of the film even hit. If you are able for it you're in for a treat though. A terrifyingly intense treat. Shauna McDonald and Natalie Mendoza are excellent and Neil Marshall's direction is first class.

The VVitch   Wed   31/10   Film4 @ 21.00 

The America's of the 1600's were a strange and scary place as one family finds out when they are shunned from their religious community and try to start a new life at the edge of a forest. Now this is a film that will leave you on edge for a long time before it truly frightens the life out of you.  Nothing better than a horror movie that fully commits to it's premise. Eek! Anya Taylor-Joy, Ralph Ineson and Kate Dickie are all superb.

Event Horizon   Fri   2/11   Syfy @ 21.00

A spacecraft assumed lost in a black hole reappears and when a rescue team boards it they find things have gotten very strange indeed. Paul W. Anderson's horror sci-fi was unfairly maligned on release but it's effective stuff and full of moments that will linger in your dreams long after you finish it. Deadly cast in this too including Joely Richardson, Laurence Fishburne, Sam Neill and Jason Isaacs amongst others.

Drugstore Cowboy   Fri   2/11   TG4 @ 21.35

A group of drug addicts fund and fuel their lifestyle through a series of pharmacy robberies. For a while life is wild and carefree but all good things must come to an end. Gus Van Sant's 1989 drama is a horribly depressing watch but it's also full of heart, energy and oddly enough a shot of humour. Matt Dillon is magnetic in the lead and Kelly Lynch and a baby faced Heather Graham are pretty great too.

A Walk Among The Tombstones   Fri   2/11   RTE2 @ 21.45

Matt Scudder is an ex NYPD cop turned private eye who's world takes a black turn when he's hired by a drug dealer to find out who killed his wife. This is a lurid and queasy watch, far from the action movies Liam Neeson has become known for in this latter part of his career. It's pretty good though and it's depiction of the darker side of NYC is gripping. Dan Stevens, David Harbour and Boyld Holbrook all put in a grand showing.

Bohemian Rhapsody

The PG13/12A certificate is the holy grail for film studios these days. A family friendly certificate guarantees a huge potential audience which means money money money. It's not particularly good for films though. Films aimed at adult audiences get sanitised so teenagers can see them. Sanitised stories lose their edge, their grittiness, adult themes are softened and in some cases removed completely. Bohemian Rhapsody is a case in point. It's far from a bad film and it contains an amazing lead performance but it's watered down feeling takes a lot from it.

In 1970 a young Parsi man called Farrokh Bulsara had a fateful meeting with the members of a pub band called Smile and both Queen and Freddie Mercury were born. Over the next 14 years their star rose higher than they could have ever imagined before it all inevitably came crashing down. But then the 13th of July 1985 came rolling around courtesy of a scruffy Irish punk.

This was far from perfect but I enjoyed it despite it's many issues. The part of Freddie Mercury is played by Rami Malek and he is phenomenal in the part. The strut, the campy flamboyance and the stage presence have been nailed perfectly and then there's the uncanny resemblence. It's an amazing transformation. During the joyous climax of the film you'll forgot you're watching a recreation of the events so absorbing is he in the part. His Freddie is a man of many contradictions. His soulmate was a woman he couldn't be with. A man plagued by loneliness but prone to pushing people away. It's a rich, layered and warm performance but one that probably won't win many awards due to the behind the scenes strife that plagued this film.

Director Bryan Singer was caught up in the sex scandals stirred up after Harvey Weinstein's arrest and was removed from the film during production. He was replaced by Dexter Fletcher straight away but this news meant people already had their knives out for the film. Then there was the prolonged period of pre-production, all 7 years of it. In 2010 it was reported Sacha Baron Cohen was to play Mercury but he left when his vision and that of the remaining Queen members didn't match. Supposedly he wanted a warts and all biopic while they wanted a more respectful movie. I'd have loved to have seen the darker vision he had planned. What finally appeared all feels too tame. The excesses of Freddie's life, both sexual and substance wise are hinted at but never dwelt on meaning we never really get to see what made him tick. Too much of it is just glossed over or never shown at all.

The same goes for a lot of the band story. The infamous Sun city concerts are ignored completely and far too much of it flies by in montages and the band members other than Mercury barely exist. Roger Taylor (Ben Hardy) is the only one that gets any bit of a personality as he's the only one to not bow down before their mercurial whirlwind of a lead singer. All Brian May (Gwilym Lee) seems to do is agree with Freddie and have the worst haircut on earth while poor John Deacon (Joseph Mazzello, yes the young lad from Jurassic Park) sits in the corner smiling enigmatically. Malek aside the only other performance that registers is that of Lucy Boynton who plays Mary Austin, the wife of Freddie. She gets an oddly large part in a film about a flamboyantly gay singer and it's a pity the film chose to spend so much time on their relationship rather than the one between Freddie and his long time partner Jim Hutton. Then to cap it off a very important part of the tale is relegated to a few title cards at the film's end. 

As you see there's a lot wrong with the film but there's loads right too. The part where an angered Freddie calls someone a pissflap. The musical moments are electrifying of course. The birth and growth of their most famous songs, the concert scenes that had audience at the screening I went to bopping in their seats and finally the pinnacle of Queen's existence, that famous Live Aid performance. Here it's recreated and we get to see nearly all of it in real time. It's a hair raising moment. Even miserable bastards who don't like the music being played should get a kick out of it. For the music and Malek's performance it's worth watching this. They will, they will rock you.

I apologise unreservedly for that last line.

The Hate U Give

T.H.U.G.L.I.F.E.

The Hate U Give Little Infants Fucks Everyone

- Tupac Shakur. The man knew what time it was.

Starr Carter is a teenage girl living a double life in Atlanta, Georgia. In her predominantly Black neighbourhood of Garden Heights she can be herself but in her predominantly white high school she has to wear a whole other face lest the students there see her as "hood" as she describes it. She's torn between two worlds and both of them come crashing together when her and her oldest friend Khalid have a fateful night-time encounter with a white cop. In the aftermath Starr has to decide who she is. Does she want to keep quiet to stop alienation from her school friends? Or does she become the strong proud Black woman her father raised her to be but risk upsetting the criminal elements of Garden Heights.

This is upsetting stuff. A brutal and exceedingly topical look at what it means to be a person of colour in America today. It's a raw, superbly acted film about the things we'd rather not think about. The things we as white people never have to worry about because our privilege shields us from them. It's social realism at it's most relevant.  A melodramatic subplot does unfortunately take away a little of it's power but it's still a vital watch.

The film revolves around Starr as she struggles with what she witnessed that night. Fit to explode with righteous fury but holding it in so as to not upset those around her. Amandla Stenberg is phenomenal in the part. A happy girl with a brilliant smile and it's traumatic to see her world cave in around her. It's a real career making role. Russell Hornsby as her father Maverick is just as good. Once a criminal but now changed man, he conveys a former life he's ashamed of in a couple of lines of dialogue that are short but packed with meaning. "The nightmares are always the worst just after...". The pain he feels for his daughter's grief is palpable. The performances are great all around but these two stick out.

At one point in the film we see Starr's tumblr page is filled with images of African American lives destroyed by White America. The camera noticeably lingers on images of Michael Brown and Emmett Till. Till was a young man lynched in the south in 1955 and Brown was shot by police in Ferguson in 2014. Two murders that made headlines worldwide. Two murders that should have changed things but nothing has changed and the characters in this film know that. It's heartbreaking to see the resignation. The acceptance that the worst can and will happen. An early moment shows a father teaching his children to put their hands up and stay quiet during police interactions. This acceptance of institutional racism just appallingly sad but in their experience necessary. Imagine having to learn from an early age that you're seen as a second class citizen in your own country. That's T.H.U.G.L.I.F.E. There's also pointed digs at those people who claim to be colour blind. It's easy for us to claim that. Because it's never been an issue for us. To ignore colour is to ignored the lived experience of people of colour. It's an issue raised again and again because some people still need to learn that.

That subplot mentioned earlier feels rather silly in places though. A drug gang led by a menacing Anthony Mackie becomes interwined in proceedings and it's only here that the film suffers. He never feels like more than a stereotype and his actions are predictable in a film that's anything but. I know this storyline comes from the book this film is based on but it just doesn't feel as real as the rest. That said it is another example of the few avenues of escape open to Black men in America. The strength of the rest of the movie makes up for it though. It's depiction of the rawness of injustice. The roar of #BlackLivesMatter. Starr's journey. This isn't a story full of easy answers but it asks a lot of questions that still to this day need to be asked.

This is a film that will make people angry and it should make people angry. It's blunt but it needs to be blunt. The issues dealt with in this story aren't issues that can be dealt with in a subtle way. Certain people will complain this is racist towards white America but they are the people who need to learn from it the most. It's a powerful, incendiary watch.

Hunter Killer

Two submarines are blown up under the ice of the Bering sea. One American and one Russian. A hunter killer submarine called the USS Arkansas under the command of Commander Joe Glass is sent to investigate. In the meanwhile a navy seal team lead by Lieutenant Bill Beaman is sent by Washington DC bigwigs to reconnoiter a Russian deep water port in the hope of finding out what's afoot.

This is an unapologetic throw back to a simpler time. It's the kind of film that abounded in the 80's and 90's. The Russkies are the bad guys who all speak English because the film-makers are aiming for an audience who doesn't do subtitles. The square jawed Americans are the heroes. Flawless, heroic, preternaturally gifted at everything they do. Problems are solved by barking commands and spitting bullets and hoping against hope. Cliffhangers are sorted out in ways not scientifically possible. Oscar winning actors take small roles just for the money but appear all over the advertising. It's all dripping with testosterone. Heroic sacrifices are made. It has a plotline that falls to pieces if you think about it for more than 30 seconds.

And yet I thoroughly enjoyed it. It's a perfect film if you just want to sit back and turn your brain off. It's also a fine example of an enjoyable subgenre thats popped up in the last decade. The Gerard Butler action movie. Just like Olympus Has Fallen, Law Abiding Citizen, Den Of Thieves and Machine Gun Preacher it's absurd, shouty, sweary, violent, slightly shoddy but somehow really entertaining. It's a film with no notions about itself, it knows its silly and is happy to go along with it. Butler as always is fun and this time as Joe Glass more restrained than usual and he's not going around stabbing heads & spouting awful one liners for a change. He's a different kind of action hero and it's kind of refreshing because he was heading into a rut. His portion of the film is Crimson Tide minus the moral conundrums and with added torpedoes and depth charges. He leaves the heavy duty action to a gruff and bearded Toby Stephens as the navy seal in charge of the ground operation. This part of the film is pure Call Of Duty stuff and it contains all the running and gunning that this entails. It's a satisfying blend of stealth reconnaissance and eventually bloody headshots. Silly as all hell but still satisfying. Just don't think about it too much.

The less successful third of the film takes place in DC. Gary Oldman as the head of the Joint Chiefs of Staff barking ineffectual commands at Common and Linda Cardinelli. Cardinelli tries her best to make an impact in a film totally dominated by men while Oldman hams it up big style. To make up for the machismo on display the film gives the role of the US president to a woman (Caroline Goodall) but nothing is really done with this and a would be interesting aspect is left to the wayside meaning we're left with the dull spectacle of a room full of bureaucrats looking helplessly on proceedings through big screens. Thankfully the cutting between the 3 storylines means we're never left with them for too long.

I went into this film expecting nothing and left it nicely surprised. Ya, it's cliched and the submarine stuff will all seem overly familiar if you've seen any other submersible set movie but it worked for me. It's a pleasingly old fashioned watch. The kind of movie people will enjoy but never admit that fact to others. It's blazingly silly in places but it's fun, it's crunchy, it's exceedingly tense and importantly it's never ever boring. Plus it contains the final ever performance from the fine Swedish actor Michael Nyqvist who sadly passed away last year. He brings a quiet dignity to his role as a Russian submarine commander and his scenes with Glass bring a nice gravitas to proceedings. It's these quieter moments that make this film stand out in it's field.

An agreeable way to spend a couple of hours.

The Night Comes For Us

The most ignored safety warning ever

You know that feeling when you've had a shit day, you're in bad form and all you want to do is watch something crunchy. Someone might have rightly pissed you off but instead of hitting them you decide to live vicariously through a violent movie instead. You know, the eh...healthy option. If you know that feeling well then I have just the film for you. A film that's unlike anything you may have seen before. A film that you might actually turn off within the first 10 minutes but if you stick with it you'll have a fun if slightly queasy time.

An Indonesian village is massacred in revenge for a missing shipment of Triad money. On the beach there's a sole survivor, young girl called Reina and one of the gunmen, Ito (Joe Taslim), suffers a crisis of conscience and can't bring himself to kill her. Ito's a member of The Six Seas, a team of 6 men and women who are a special branch of the Triad, a branch that has free reign to use whatever tactics necessary to get their jobs done. Because Ito has gone against orders he's marked for death and the other 5 members of The Six Seas are out for his head. One of the other members is a Macau based gangster called Arian (Iko Uwais) and him and Ito go way, way back.

This was something else. I'm not quite sure if I enjoyed it but there's no denying it's an experience. It's quite possibly the most physically violent (non horror) film I've ever seen. The film takes great pleasure in reducing the human body down to it's most basic components, blood, meat and bone and at times all 3 are literally spraying across the screen. A fight in an abbatoir utilising meat hooks and bone saws, a man's head torn apart by automatic gunfire inside a paddywagon, an assassin armed with razor wire who's not averse to whipping off limbs to win a fight fast, faces and throats decimated with carpet knifes and pool balls. It's gobsmacking when a fight scene ends with the defeated side's intestines spilling out and you realise that it's one of the film's milder moments. It's a whole smorgasbord of meaty treats but only those with the toughest of constitutions will make it to the end. Director Timo Tjahjant's camerawork and the fight scenes choreographed by the lead actors thankfully change things up constantly and while the fight scenes may become numbing eventually, they damn sure never become boring.

Story bud?

Hideous brutality aside it's fairly standard stuff storywise. A bad guy grows a conscience and has to protect his young charge. We've seen it a million times before but when it's this stylishly done, this packed full of vim and breathless action it's easy to overlook cliche. It's themes of male friendship and the depths of those relationships brought to mind the films that poured out of Hong Kong in the early 90's especially John Woo's earlier films. But Hong Kong action had it's time. Now it's the turn of Indonesia to pump out it's own brand of insane action. The Raid, The Raid 2, Headshot and now this. 

All four films starred Iko Uwais but this time he's not the hero. But he's not exactly the villain either. The man has an immense physicality and seeing him in action as Arian is jawdropping. Last month's Hollywood actioner Mile 22 had him too and utterly wasted him so it's a joy seeing him in full flow here. Joe Taslim who also starred in The Raid is Ito. He's grand, an enormously physical martial artist too but he just comes off as a bit dull compared to Arian. Julie Estelle as the mysterious operator turns up too far into the film to make much of an impact but one piece of finger based carnage involving her will either make you cheer or puke depending on your disposition.

If you've seen and enjoyed The Raid films you'll be able for this. Like those the bare bones plot is just an excuse to string together increasingly chaotic moments of brutality but come on, no one watches films like this for the story. You watch them because you want to see people getting fucked the fuck up. Here you'll have your bloodlust sated and then some. Director Timo Tjahjant made Headshot and now this. I can't even begin to imagine what he'll come up with next.

Available to stream on Netflix right now.

Halloween

In 1978 John Carpenter made Halloween and frightened the shite out of the entire world. The story of a masked killer called Michael Myers who returns home to Haddonfield to kill anyone he can get his hands on. Between 1981 and 2009 there were 9 more Halloween films released. Part 2 was a ok rethread of the original. Part 3 went off on a whole other route that was a fun but failed attempt to turn the franchise into something different. Parts 4, 5 & 6 were dreadful. 1998's part 7 was a really good and genuinely surprising return to form that was ruined by a septic part 8. Then in 2007 and 2009 Rob Zombie directed two remakes that should be struck from history. For a time the world was without Halloween but now it's back again in a reboot that pretends parts 2-8 don't exist. 

Laurie Strode is still suffering the after effects of that Autumn evening 40 years ago. She's been on the defense ever since and her paranoia about Michael Myers returning has destroyed friendships and marriages and it's alienated her from her daughter and her granddaughter. Meanwhile in the Illnois state hospital an encounter with a relic from his past revs up the still living Michael and it isn't long before he's cutting a swathe through the population of Haddonfield once more.

I was pretty disappointed with this. There's plenty of good in it but at the end of the day it's yet another slasher sequel with all the baggage that entails. It's a pimped up rethread that follows the standard sequel template to a tee. Bigger bodycount, bloodier kills, more bombast. There's clever moments here and there, both meta nods to the audience and in-jokes for the diehard fans but the sense of deja vu is unmistakeable. It makes a big error too, the worst one a horror film can make. It's just not very scary. One early scene in a psychiatric hospital is unsettling and I would have liked to have seen more here but then it wouldn't be a Halloween film. The sense of dread and menace that was pervasive in the original is gone. Michael Myers is a vicious killer but when you can guess EXACTLY what he's going to do and who he's going to kill all the tension dissipates.

The good though is what stops it from being a failure. Jamie Lee Curtis reprises her most famous role and is pretty damn good at it.  One trope that slasher films have always done well is that of the final girl. Here the final girl is a 60 yr old woman making this film pretty unique in it's field. Jamie's Laurie has gone down the Sarah Connor route. Tough as nails, riddled with paranoia, trusting no one and owner of an arsenal that would make a small country seethe with jealousy. She's absolutely believable when it comes time to fight back because the film takes it's time in moving all it's pieces into place. It's the face off between her and Michael that provides the films best moments near the end. Watching roles being reversed is always fun. In fact roles are reversed throughout the film. Famous shots from the original are repurposed with different characters in place and it's a nice nod to John Carpenter's direction of the original. His famous steadicam shots are homaged too in a superb one take set-piece that sees Michael utilising the tools of his trade. Director David Gordon Green builds a lot of good will here. Taking visual influence from Carpenter but making the film his own as well. It's just a pity it's built around a story so familiar and predictable.

The cast is padded out with teenagers who only exist to be bloodily butchered and it's here the film lags badly. We don't know them so we don't care when they get impaled on fences or pinned to walls with big knives (The original film has a violent reputation but barely a drop of blood is seen. This film throws buckets of it around. It really earns it's 18 certificate) .At one point I thought the movie was going to make a very surprising left turn but nothing comes of it but another momentary shock. From the opening moments you know exactly how it's all going to play out. When I read that David Gordon Green and Danny McBride, two writers from primarily comedy backgrounds were involved, I expected a different spin on things but it never appears. The supporting cast is game and tries, Judy Greer and Andy Matichik as Laurie's daughter and granddaughter respectively are fine but it's hard to give a shit about anyone but Laurie.

There's little new here. It's nice to see Jamie Lee Curtis revisit the role that made her famous but at the same time I hope it's the last we see of Laurie Strode. It's time for her and Michael Myers to rest.

12 films worth watching on TV this week

28 Days Later   Sat   20/10   The Horror Channel @ 22.45

A man wakes up from a coma only to discover his hospital is deserted and London outside is quiet. A bit too quiet. Danny Boyle's 2002 horror film is the real deal. A genuinely unnerving and terrifying experience and that will get under your skin and live in your head when your lights go out at night. Cillian Murphy is spot on in the lead and Naomie Harris and Brendan Gleeson are both powerful as back up. Not for the squeamish. Tape for Halloween.

South Park : Bigger, Longer, Uncut   Sat   20/10   Comedy Central @ 23.00

A profanity filled movie causes uproar that leads to a war between American and Canada. South Park, Colorado is ground zero for it all, of course. The most underrated musical film ever made. Seriously. This feature length film of the TV show is ingenious stuff. Intelligent, profane, hilarious, packed full of digs at censorship, racism, social mores and America itself. Plus it has songs that will stay in your brain forever.

American Mary   Sun   21/10   Film4 @ 01.30

A broke medical student discovers an unusual way to make extra money and finds herself in some very very dark places as a result. This 2012 dark drama/horror film starring Katherine Isabelle is a highly effective piece of work. Be warned though, it should probably only be watched by those with a strong constitution but if you can go with it you discover a very unique little story that will open your eyes to a whole other world.

A Star Is Born   Sun   21/10   RTE1 @ 02.35

The remake is doing mega business in cinemas everywhere so now's your chance to see the 1976 version. John Howard is a megastar who takes a young woman named Esther under his wing. All is good until her career starts to take off while his begins to stall. Barbara Streisand was the bigger name when this came out but Kris Kristoffersen owns the movie. He's fantastic in his part.

Robocop   Sun   21/10   ITV4 @ 21.00

After he's gunned down on his first day on the job a police officer is resurrected as a law upholding cyborg. His mission - to clean up Detroit. Paul Verhoeven's 1987 scifi thriller is still an amazing film. Darkly funny, cynical, brutally violent and scarily prescient about the way society has evolved in the 30 years since it's release. Peter Weller as the man in the visor is perfect and Kurtwood Smith is a terrifying bad guy. 

Idle Hands   Mon   22/10   The Horror Channel @ 00.40

Idle hands are the devil's playground as stoner Anton finds out to his horror when his possessed hand starts wreaking havoc with his family and friends. This is just hilarious. Ridiculously silly yes but also inventive, gooey and clever. Devon Sawa is a good lead but Eldon Henson and Seth Green as two fellow friends who've already fallen foul of Anton's demonic digits steal the show.

Reservoir Dogs   Mon   22/10   TG4 @ 21.30

6 colour coded men are hired to pull off a jewel heist. Predictably it all goes sideways. We don't see the robbery but we sure as hell see the aftermath. Quentin Tarantino's first film is still his best. Somehow he manages to turn a story about thieving scumbag killers into a film you'll be glued to. Hilarious, tense, shocking and economical. Dazzling acting too from Harvey Keitel, Steve Buscemi, Michael Madsen and Tim Roth amongst others. 

Hobson's Choice   Tues   23/10   TCM @ 13.30

Henry Hobson is a bit of a gowl and his daughters want to get away from him fast. But things were a bit different for women in the 1880's and Henry's oldest daughter Maggie is having none of it. This 1954 David Lean comedy is a joy. Full of perfectly drawn characters and funny situations and a cast that's second to none. Charles Laughton is a masterly lead and Brenda De Banzie & John Mills give him fine support.

Mr Turner   Thur   25/10   Film4 @ 23.20

J.M.W. Turner was one of the all time greatest English artists and this biopic follows him through the last 25 years of his life. Director Mike Leigh and actor Timothy Spall bring what sounds like a dull watch to life brilliantly. It's a beautiful looking, superbly acted and surprisingly warm look at a person accused by many of being cold. Dorothy Atkinson and the always reliable Leslie Manville are excellent as two of the women in his life.

Rio Grande   Fri   26/10   Film4 @ 16.40

Set after the American civil war, a Lieutenant deals with training his son to fight the Apache and with his estranged wife who wants her son to have no part in war. John Wayne is a natural in these roles and Maureen O'Hara is great with a complex layered performance not usually seen in these films. Dated depiction of Native Americans aside this is a deep, rich, romantic, epic film. Lovely musical score too.

The Conjuring   Fri   26/10   ITV2 @ 21.00

The Perron's have moved into their new home but all is not well. They hire a pair of paranormal investigators to cure the sickness in their house and it isn't long before all hell breaks loose. An entertaining and effective old school haunted house film that's grounded by some superb performances from Lili Taylor, Ron Livingston and Vera Farmiga. Another to record for Halloween,

Guilty As Sin   Fri   26/10   RTE1 @ 23.55

When she takes on an accused murder as a client, a lawyer starts having second thoughts about him after he starts to display sociopathic tendencies. A fine example of the kind of psychological thriller that was highly popular in the 90's. Exciting, twisty, pretty unpredictable and a decent friday night watch. Rebecca De Mornay is a solid lead and Don Johnson makes for a nicely nasty boo-hiss pantomime villain.

Christmas shopping : a pre-emptive strike.

I got me christmas shopping all done the other day. I know using the C word this early in the year offends some but fuckin hell it feels good to have that nightmare behind me. I despise shopping at the best of times but shopping during the chaos that is November and December is a genuinely unnerving experience. The crowds, the heat, the sense of panic, buying a present in one shop and finding it for half the price in another, the crowds, the heat, the queues, the prices subtly bumped over the course of the pre Christmas season then dropped back to normal so shops can call them sales prices in January and did I mention the heat and the crowds. Septic.

Like Santy Claus I made a list, checked it twice, went out and burned through it in the space of 3 hrs. A few books here. A bottle of something nice there. A couple of vouchers. A bit of this, a touch of that. The slightly unsettling experience of thinking I was lost in Søstrene Grene which turned out to be a deadly place for stocking fillers and then the reward of a Spice bag for a job well done. I highly recommend it, both early shopping and the spice bag. Some people claim to enjoy waiting until the 23rd of December before they do their shopping but I call them liars or psychopaths.

The film scenes that never get old. Primary Colors - The Price You Pay

Politics is a venal game. There's no one clean involved and even if you go in like a saint you'll always come out stained. Power will corrupt even the most idealistic of us. It's the nature of the beast.

This brutally pessimistic and truthful moment in Mike Nichol's magnificent and seriously underrated 1998 movie Primary Colors shows the endgame of looking the other way.



Henry is idealism personified. The grandson of a 1960's civil rights activist who reluctantly allows himself to be drawn into the orbit of governor Jack Stanton during his bid to be the democratic candidate in the Presidential election. We get to witness Henry's quixotic beliefs being slowly stripped away as Jack sweet talks him with his syrupy Southern charm and the rush of power and success goes to his head. He overlooks little things at first, infidelities, lies and before long he's turning his head when a presidential rival is threatened with destruction over a sex scandal and again to cover up a scandal involving Stanton himself. It's hard to watch his innocence ebbing away. When he finally makes a stand it's a halfhearted one and Stanton knows it. We know it as well and it's a sad moment to see him standing there smiling at the inauguration ball. Corrupt always wins. Stanton has long made his peace with the price he pays to lead and now Henry has too. It's just a perfectly cynical note to end a perfect film on.

Adrian Lester as Henry is good but this is the best John Travolta has ever been. Channeling charming Bill Clinton to a tee. If you haven't seen this it's worth tracking down. 

Bad Times At The El Royale

I had a strange experience in the cinema the other night. I sat down to watch a movie and somehow found myself falling through a wormhole to the mid 90's. A time when Quentin Tarantino rip-offs abounded. You couldn't go anywhere without tripping over one of them. Films full of quirky knowing dialogue and gritty violence perpetrated by an ensemble cast intertwined with plotlines that weren't half as interesting as they thought they were. Bad Times At The El Royale was one of these, a film that made me think it was 1996 all over again. Well until a gobshite in front of me started taking instagram selfies during it.

5 strangers turn up at the El Royale motel. A priest called Flynn, Darlene who's a singer, a vacuum salesman called Laramie and two young women, Emily & Rose. The El Royale is an odd place. Ran by one young fella on his own it's an establishment straddling the border between Nevada and California that's priced differently depending on which state you decide to sleep in. The strangers are an odd bunch too, each secretive about their reasons for being there. It doesn't take long before secrets start to spill and the late arrival of a sixth person brings chaos and darkness.

It's fine. It's fun. Some of it is clever. There's some great music and an excellent opening 5 minutes. There's a fantastic moment combining voyeurism, soul music and hidden secrets in a scene that becomes a microcosm of a turbulent age. It's set in 1969, the end of a momentous decade for America. A time of massive societal change. Each character is a stand in for the cultural touchstones of the time. Vietnam, the changing of the guard, civil rights, "The man", counter culture and the dark side of counter culture. The film builds up to a big climax when all these touchstones clash and it all becomes one big ol' metaphor for the 1960's but it just leaves you with one major feeling of......... "so?"

The whole way through the film you're waiting for the moment that ties everything together and it just never comes. The lightbulb moment that makes you go "OH COOL", that realisation that changes everything that's come before. It's missing that one element that will leave you thinking about it in the weeks and months to come. In 2012 Drew Goddard wrote and directed Cabin In The Woods. A seemingly simple horror picture that come the end had flipped audience expectations brilliantly and presented us with a story that, in a way, had ramifications for the horror genre as a whole. I think I went into this expecting something like that and when it didn't come it felt like a disappointment. Don't get me wrong, the ingredients of this film are fun but put together they just don't feel like a satisfying whole.

A game cast helps though. Jeff Bridges as Flynn brings his usual gravitas and gets the most interesting role. Cynthia Erivo and Lewis Pullman as Darlene and the hotel concierge Miles add a touch of humanity to proceedings and help cut through the knowing quirkiness and cleverness. The trailer campaign for the film is based around Chris Hemsworth who plays a smaller role than expected but it's his appearance about 2/3's of the way into the film that finally kicks it in the arse and gets it moving for it's crunchy climax. I've never seen him play this dark before. I liked it. Although It's a pity he appears at a point when most films of this ilk would be finishing. At 140+ minutes it's way too long. Every scene in here is important but some of them are stretched way way beyond breaking point. The slow burn pace especially in the first half of the film will grate on a lot of people. There's a moment seen from different points of view that's superficially cool but serves no purpose other than to pad out the running time. It also adds to that bang of 90's deja vu mentioned earlier which never helps matters.

A fun watch but one that just does not live up to the sum of it's parts. 

Apostle

Gareth Evans is a Welsh director who wrote and directed The Raid 1 & 2. Two action thrillers set in Indonesia that set cinema on fire back in 2011 and 2014 respectively. They were an amazing watch, packed to the gills with blistering action and "How the fuck did they do that??" moments. They were cinematic nirvana, you'd leave the picturehouse afterwards wrecked but smiling and you'd talk to your friends about them for weeks afterwards. They were the kind of films that introduced reticent people to foreign cinema while blowing your mind at the same time. They blew the cobwebs off a genre that was in danger of getting stale and they've been influencing action movies since. The news that Evans new film would be a UK set one was intriguing. Everyone wondered what he had up his sleeve and even better news was the fact that it would be on Netflix therefore available to everyone with an account. The trailers looked great. This was going to be something special.....

1905. Thomas Richardson is on his way to a island called Erisen off the coast of Wales to find his sister who has been kidnapped by a strange cult run by a man called Malcolm who claims to be a prophet in contact with an ancient goddess. Thomas has to lay low and try to blend in while searching for clues as to her whereabouts. But strange things are happening all around him that he can't ignore.

This was a mess. If you've come to this looking for the gory violence present in Evans' earlier films you'll be satisfied because it's here in spades but there's not much else. It feels like the plot was written, felt a bit thin, and in the haste of padding it out a whole new plotline was jammed in turning it from mystery thriller into something else entirely. The clash of genres is jarring and whole chunks of the film seem extremely silly as a result. It's a pity because there is a lot of good here. The setting is intriguing and lovingly created, chock full of atmospheric touches and creepy cult stuff. Director Evans can shoot the hell out of an action scene. The gory set-pieces feel visceral and shocking (though in one or two moments you get the feeling that he is wallowing in nastiness a bit too much) compared to today's family friendly multiplex fare and Michael Sheen as Malcolm is always worth watching especially in his rantier moments. Plus it's nice to here him speaking in his own accent for once. Had the film been played as a straight thriller it would have been much more satisfying.

Dan Stevens as Thomas isn't a patch on Sheen sadly. A dull lead is never good. We don't really get to know him at all. An interesting backstory is hinted at but nothing comes of it. In a 2 hr film you'd expect the lead character to be some bit rounded out but not here. You'll find yourself not giving a fig if he succeeds in his mission and caring more about the plight of the film's supporting characters instead. As the more likable of them start getting killed of any enthusiasm you'll have for the film will start ebbing away too. There's no tension at all as a result. I like Stevens. His 2014 delve into genre cinema with "The Guest" was an immensely entertaining watch and this sadly isn't a patch on it.

If you want brutal knifings, speared faces, grim torture and all that jazz then you've come to the right place. If you want anything other than that though you're best off looking elsewhere making this is a big disappointment and coming on the coattails of other excellent Netflix originals like Hold The Dark and Private Life just makes it doubly so. 

Fingers crossed for The Raid 3.

James Hong. An unsung hero of film & TV.

Our next unsung hero is James Hong. He's 89 years old. He's been acting, writing and directing for 64 years and has 430 credits to his name. An amazing career and one that's still going strong. His first part was a non speaking, unbilled part in a Korean war film called Dragonfly Squadron in 1954 and in the last two years he's been in CGI cartoons, video games, TV shows and a (good jaysus) Sharknado film. The man is a chameleon, adapting to everything but his main calling these days is as the wise old face of the mystical East. 

He's faced off with the A-Team, Jamie Summers, Wonder Woman, Thomas Magnum, The Dukes Brothers, TJ Hooker, Colt Seavers and both Cagney and Starsky and Lacey and.......Hutch! Chuck Norris set him on fire and Rutger Hauer froze him to death. Crockett & Tubbs gunned him down and Kurt Russell & Kim Cattrall defeated him in a Chinatown sewer. Dreamworks animation made him a favourite of millions of young kids while Jerry Seinfeld and his gang queued for far too long in his restaurant. Doogie Howser treated his wounds and Mulder and Scully investigated him. He's committed Hara-kiri in front of Ted Stryker on a troubled flight and served Sheldon Cooper's crispy wontons. He's been in everything. Everything. Every genre. It's ridiculous how prolific he's been. From sci-fi epics to Oscar winning 1970's classics to the cheapest z-movies. He rarely plays a big part and some of the films might suck but he always adds a touch of class. And he's just cool. Take a look at his career here. Just look at that pic below. If you are an 80's kid it will bring back a rush of nostalgia.

Greatest Hits

Blade Runner - Hannibal Chew. Creator of synthetic eyes and owner of one of THE greatest names ever to grace a movie.

Big Trouble In Little China. Lo Pan. The big bad of Chinatown. Owner of mystical glowing eyes and the 2000 years old. Surprisingly vulnerable to small knives.

Kung Fu Panda. Mr Ping. A noodle restaurant owning goose who's the adoptive father of a panda who's an expert in martial arts. A blast of a film. So much better than it sounds.

Previous heroes

David Strathairn
Frankie Faison
Conchata Ferrell
Dick Miller
Veronica Cartwright
Edie McClurg
Barry Shabaka Henley           
Raymond Cruz                        
Reg E.Cathey                          
Elizabeth McGovern               
John Amos                              
Bruce Greenwood                  
Mary McDonnell                     
Gerald McSorley                       
John Rothman                        
Margo Martindale                   
Kurtwood Smith                     
Paula Malcolmson                 
Luis Guzman                          
David Morse                           
Linda Hunt                              
Keith David                             
Zeljko Ivanek
Fiona Shaw
Xander Berkeley
Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa
C.C.H Pounder
William Forsythe
Beth Grant
Sven-Ole Thorsen
Regina King
Ric Young
Mark Rolston
Illeana Douglas
Jeanette Goldstein
Al Leong
Allan Graf
Bill Nunn
Thomas Rosales Jr