Good medicine

Went down to Wesht Cork with a couple of friends today and that sea air, it's true, it's fantastic medicine. 

Ballydonegan beach. Just sitting here with a warm breeze blowing in your face would cure all that ails you. Temporarily at least. Look at that sky. Just a beach and a burger stand. Perfect. So remote it didn't even feel like Ireland anymore.

Next stop, America.

A stunner of a view of the Iveragh Peninsula and the MacGillycuddy's Reeks from the Beara peninsula. Look at those blues. This felt like a little slice of heaven.

And because this purports to be a film blog there's Skellig Michael, middle Island, off in the distance. Luke Skywalker's gaff. Where he lived and died. WEEPS.

A day like that would energise you. I'm rarin' to go. So lets watch a film haha.

17 films to watch on TV this week

Unsane   Sat   29/5   RTE2 @ 21.00

Sawyer is troubled by events in her past and is seeking help for the psychological toll it's taking on her. But a mistaken signature finds her thrown into a nightmare it's tough to escape from. Steven Soderbergh's 2018 thriller has more than a touch of Hitchcock about it but it's surprising, disturbing and intelligent enough to find it's own identity. Claire Foy, Juno Temple and Amy Irving all do good work.

Moonstruck   Sat   29/5   BBC2 @ 22.00

A Brooklyn bookkeeper called Loretta finds herself struggling with romantic problems when she's engaged to one brother but falling for another. What to do? What to do? This 34 year old comedy drama is a joy to behold. Warm, funny and dotted with great characters but also plenty of dramatic heft to keep you fully involved throughout her journey. Cher, Nicolas Cage (proving here that his latter day unique persona is nothing new) and Danny Aiello are all wonderful.

Viva   Sat   29/5   RTE2 @ 23.55

Jesús does makeup for a drag troupe but longs to be onstage performing himself. When he finally gets to do it a face from his past appears and his life is turned upside down. This Cuban set but Irish made (directed by Paddy Breathnach & written by Mark O'Halloran) drama is a bit of a stunner. An upsetting but uplifting look at the generational clash between society and sexuality. Héctor Medina does superb work in a well drawn story about being true to yourself.

Spiderman : Into The Spiderverse   Sun   30/5   CH4 @ 17.20

A teenage graffiti artist is bitten by a radioactive spider and discovers a whole new range of powers. And a whole new world of alternate universes. Move over Peter Parker, you've had your time, now it's Miles Morales's turn. An awesome piece of work, 117 mins of animation that will blow your mind, even if you aren't a comic book fan. IMO the best adaption of a Marvel comic. Shameik Moore, Hailee Steinfeld, Mahershala Ali and Jake Johnson supply superior voicework.

Stir Crazy   Sun   30/5   Sony Movies @ 22.00

Harry and Skip have been framed for a crime they didn't commit and get sent down to the big house. An experience they'll only survive if they can walk the walk as much as they talk the talk. The second cinematic pairing of Richard Pryor and Gene Hackman loses its way late in the film but the earlier scenes of them trying to look tough will leave you weak from laughter.

Midnight Run   Sun   30/5   Film4 @ 23.50

Jack Walsh is a bounty hunter and Jonathan Mardukis is the mob accountant he's just scooped up. Now all he has to do is get him from NYC to LA while avoiding the feds and the mob and other bounty hunters. This 1988 comedy thriller is absolute perfection. Profane, hilarious, quotable, full of memorable characters and the chemistry between Robert De Niro and Charles Grodin is off the charts. The best odd couple film you'll ever see.

Boyhood   Mon   31/5   TG4 @ 21.30

A masterpiece a decade in the making. A simple story of a boy and his mother growing up over the course of 10 years. Done over a few days in each year it's a magical experience watching two people grow up and age before your eyes. The story is minimal but that's not what the film is about at all. Ellar Coltrane does well in his debut appearance but Patricia Arquette owns the film with a masterful performance. A truly unique movie.

Film Stars Don't Die In Liverpool   Mon   31/5   BBC2 @ 22.45

In the twilight of her career an American actress called Gloria Grahame comes to London to act onstage. Here she falls for a much younger man and their relationship soothes what comes next. Annette Bening is truly excellent in this look at aging and the agonies of loneliness. It's an upsetting real life story but the palpable chemistry between Bening and Jamie Bell as her young beau eases the pain.

The Dead Zone   Tues   1/6   The Horror Channel @ 00.35

Five years ago Johnny Smith had a crash car that left him in a coma. When he awoke he had a special new skill. He can see the future and when he meets a presidental candidate he glimpses a horrifying look at the years ahead. David Cronenberg's adaption of the Stephen King novel isn't as gooey as his usual work but it's still a hell of a creepy watch powered by a spooky turn from Christopher Walken and a hammy one from Martin Sheen.

Daphne   Tues   1/6   Film4 @ 01.25

Thirtysomething Daphne is drifting through life in London. Days, nights, friends both platonic and romantic are all flashing by way too fast. There's an existential crisis on the horizon. Then one day she walks into a shop and... Emily Beecham does powerful work in an effective story about the psychological effects of modern life and metropolis living that may strike a bit too close to home for some.

Birds Of Passage   Wed   2/6   Film4 @ 01.25

Drugs might equal power and wealth but at the end of the day it always ends in blood and horror. Rapayet and his family discover this fact over the course of a decade in the highlands of Colombia. This is as far from Narcos as you can get. It's a similar tale but told in a far more lowkey and contemplative manner. It's a powerful look at how the new can never quite destroy the old. José Acosta and Natalie Reyes are both fantastic.

Ride The High Country   Wed   2/6   TCM @ 17.00

Before Sam Peckinpah ripped up the myth of the west he made old fashioned westerns like this one.  The story of a union soldier turned marshall hired to transport cash and his allies who have their loyalties tested by the promise of riches. Randolph Scott retired after this film assuming he'd never better it and he was probably right because it's brilliant. Joel McCrea is a fine lead and watch out for genre stalwarts like L.Q Jones, Warren Oates and R.G. Armstrong in supporting roles.

My Week With Marilyn   Thur   3/6   BBC4 @ 21.00

A week in the life of Marilyn Monroe while she was shooting a film in London as seen through the eyes of a young film student who became her assistant and confidante. Eddie Redmayne is grand as the student but Michelle Williams is luminous as Marilyn Monroe. A real starmaking role, she brings one of the true screen legends to life. Kenneth Branagh has a ball playing Laurence Olivier too. 

Picnic At Hanging Rock   Thur   3/6   Film4 @ 23.25

February 14th. 1900. A class excursion to Hanging Rock in the wilds of Victoria, Australia ends in disaster when a teacher and pupils vanish without a trace. Peter Weir's 1975 classic put Antipodean cinema on the map and rightly so. It's a haunting, puzzling, unnerving, dreamlike watch that asks more than it answers but once you've seen it you won't forget it for a long while. Rachel Roberts and Anne-Louise Lambert nail their parts.

P2   Fri   4/6   The Horror Channel @ 02.35

A woman wakes in a deserted car garage on Christmas Eve and it isn't long before she realises she's not alone in there. Nope, there's a dodgy dude in there too. Isn't there always. A creepy, crunchy, violent and atmospheric watch dotted with a couple of nicely effective scares. What it lacks in originality it makes up in suspense. Rachel Nichols is a decent damsel not in distress and Wes Bentley's bad guy is nicely boo-hiss.

Parker   Fri   4/6   Virgin Media One @ 21.30

Parker's a thief, who never kills, who gets the job with no mess and no fuss. Until his team double cross him and leave him for dead. Then all bets are off. Jason Statham's 2013 thriller was not reviewed kindly on release but it does everything you need a Jason Statham film to do. It's fun, it's exciting, bad guys go splat. Add in a wicked cast that includes Jennifer Lopez, Nick Nolte and Michael Chiklis and you have a fine friday night watch.

Zodiac   Fri   4/6   BBC2 @ 23.20

Someone is killing people in the bay area around San Francisco and three men become obsessed with finding out who. An obsession that became all consuming and unending. Forget Fight Club, this is  David Fincher's masterpiece. A meticulously put together film built of darkness that still manages to find time for some much needed humour. Robert Downey Jr, Jake Gyllenhaal and Mark Ruffalo put in career best turns here.

A retweet is always appreciated. Especially from you ;) Cheers.

7th of June 2021.

Cinemas are reopening on the 7th of June. Pleasing news.

Time to organise the finances.

When the day arrives, it's time to get there early.

To avoid those queues when the doors open.

Hopefully the staff will be like.

Then as the trailers start.

Then the lights go down.

Then when it's over.

The moment you realise that...

I was doing a clear out today and I found a load of cinema tickets piled up in a drawer. Silly hoarding behaviour from the days before the all you can watch omnipass phone app that marked the end of paper tickets. There were about 100 tickets from 2017 and 2018 in there but 3 really stood up. 3 films I had to google because I had absolutely no recollection of them at all. 2 of which are reviewed on this very site! 

When this happens it's a bit of a moment of realisation. Do I watch too many films? Nah, fuck that. 

Is my mind going? Maybe. That's the preferable option tbh.

Then the below ticket appeared and broke my heart a little bit. Lady Bird in the IFI. A place of worship for film fans. 

Will we ever get there again? Fingers crossed.

Video nasty rewatch part 28 - The Last House On The Left

Video nasty number 28 may be 49 years old but it still feels like being punched in the face when you watch it so god only knows what audiences in 1972 felt like the first time they wat...... no watched is the wrong word, the first time they were subjected to it. 

Audiences on this side of the pond never got the chance. The British Board of Film Censorship of course banned it's cinema release in 1974. 8 years later the full version snuck out into the unregulated video market and within a year it was placed on the video nasty list and history was made. 17 years later in 2000 another cinema release was banned when distributors refused to make cuts to the film's myriad of sexually violent scenes. Even Mark Kermode defended it to the Video Appeals Committee to no avail. In 2001 a DVD release was once again banned but changes in BBFC policy allowed it to hit the shelves of HMV minus 31 seconds of brutality only a year later. It took another 6 years before UK and Irish audiences could legally see what director Wes Craven set out to achieve in 1972 in all it's uncut glory. Did it deserve all the fuss?

Yes.

Most of the nasties are harmless tosh, splattered with terrible effects and worse acting. You'll laugh em off and forget them the following day. You won't with this one. It lingers. It's haunting. You'll feel shitty about yourself for sitting through it. It's a genuinely well made slice of horror, inspired by Ingmar Bergman's film The Virgin Spring, that makes the cardinal sin of being too effective because this time there's no zombies, nazi's or cannibals knocking around. Nope, this one could happen in the woods behind your house. That's where Mari and Phyllis end their short lives at the hands of Krug & company. 

Two teenage girls out to celebrate Mari's 17th birthday with a concert have the bad luck to run into Krug Stillo (David Hess who repeated his role here in The House On The Edge Of The Park 8 years later) and his gang of Weasel, Sadie and Junior, when they try to score weed from Krug's son Junior. Krug and Weasel are prison escapees and real nasty pieces of shit. The next 40 minutes of the film are a litany of atrocity. Rape, sexual assault, psychological trauma, stabbings, shootings, torture and disembowelment until mercifully both girls die from their wounds. Unlike other nasties on the list it's not dwelt on for kicks, and Craven's camera mostly keeps it's distance, watching over the events with a clinical eye and more often than not cutting away from the worst moments. And as such it ends up being absolutely horrifying. In the cheaper, more tawdy nasties ropey special effects and bug eyed acting would lift you right out of the scene. Here Krug and his gang treat their victims like playthings, something to pass the time, cold & casual, quietly spoken brutality that will make you feel sick to your stomach. Then when it's all over they stand over their bodies, looking down on them sadly like kids looking at a snail who's shell they've just smashed. Somehow that's almost as disturbing as what came before. 

The rest of the film concerns itself with bumbling cop scenes (the younger is played by Martin Kove of Karate Kid/Cobra Kai fame) to pad out the running time and Krug & his version of the Manson family snaking their way into Mari's family house where her parents twig what's happened and wreak bloody revenge. Genitals are bitten off(!!), throats are slashed and bad guys get chainsawed but it all pales in comparison to what came before. What came before is the reason this film was banned for so many years and it's not hard to feel surprised by the fact. If it's still this disturbing in 2021 it must have been an assault on the senses in 1972. No wonder the film's poster tagline was "Keep repeating, it's only a movie, it's only a movie, it's only a movie."

Did it deserve it's place on the nasties list. I'm not sure. It didn't exploit it's horrors like others but it never soft soaps then either. As mentioned earlier, it's the clinical approach that makes it feel so hideous.

It is worth a watch? I'd say yes but be prepared.

Next up - Love Camp 7. Another skincrawler of a watch. For entirely different reasons.

Wrath Of Man

Halfway through Wrath Of Man someone calls Jason Statham a cold cunt and lives to tell the tale. The Stath of old would have torn off their head and chucked it into the nearest river, then kicked the corpse in the crotch. Before kneecapping it. 2021 Stath has mellowed slightly. Now he takes his time, thinks through the if's, and's & but's and only then does he start slamming knives into necks. If this is the way middle age Stath is going to go I'll be quite happy to keep watching.

Guy Ritchie and Jason Statham are back together for the first time since 2005's Revolver. Now that was a dire film but in the 16 years since one has become a beloved action star and the other has upped his directorial game considerably. Both have had mis-steps along the way (Wild Card, Hummingbird & King Arthur) but it's safe to say both are doing very well these days. Wrath Of Man sees both playing to their strengths ( hyper masculinity, profane & witty banter, face mincing violence) but annoyingly the excesses of Ritchie's early career are still hanging around too. 

Fortico security are tasked with a dangerous job. Moving money in armoured vehicles in and around Los Angeles. Armed to the teeth, within steel beasts on wheels, these workers are very much the prey in a lawless city. Their newest recruit is H (guess who). He's teamed with Bullet (Holt McCallany) and Boy Sweat (Josh Hartnett) and thrown in at the deep end. On his first day out H shows what he's made of when he single handedly destroys a team of wannabe thieves. The bosses are loving him. He's doing his work and he's not messing around. His co-workers though are unsettled. There's something off about him, his demeanour. They aren't wrong....

As Lock, Stock..., Snatch and last years The Gentlemen so amply proved there's nothing Guy Ritchie likes more than messing with a film's timeline. 3 films with straightforward story lines made overly complicated and convoluted for no real reason whatsoever. The trend continues with Wrath Of Men and like always it only ever takes from the story. Early scenes are confusing, large swathes of the cast (including Ireland's own Niamh Algar) barely have time to register, another big ol' chunk of cast is only introduced nearly an hour into the film, one scene is pointlessly replayed from three points of view and most annoyingly of all, the man himself is sidelined for a large section of the film's second act. 

But when it gets going it will get the adrenaline flowing. In the years since Revolver Ritchie has gotten a lot better at directing action. He doesn't cut away from the carnage like he used to and as a result the action sequences have a muscular heft to them. Add in an old pro like Stath doing what he does best and there's a lot here to enjoy. Fans of Post Malone might not agree but who cares what those fools think when you have Statham in full anti hero mode painting walls with robber brains and spouting lines like "I'll wait until you put your arsehole back into your arsehole." His quest is a dark one but his scenes with Holt McCallany (so good in Mindhunters, and really enjoying himself here) give the film a few badly needed laughs and it's in these moments you can sense the film's tongue lodged firmly in it's cheek.

Wrath Of Man is available to stream online now if you use a VPN and hopefully will be on the big screen soon when Irish cinemas open again. It's far from perfect but it's a fun slice of testosterone.

A perfect pairing of sound & vision - Southpark The Movie

"That's U-N-C-L-E FUCK YOU uncle fucker!!!"

Without a doubt one of the most profane moments of musical brilliance ever seen in a cinema.

The Terrence and Phillip film has come to South Park, Colorado. Our heroes have hired a hobo to get them into an R-rated film and they're buzzing with excitement.

Their little minds are blown.

 

Everyone gags at Southpark's toilet humour and it's tasteless jokes but Southpark: The Movie was a subversive little joy that took aim at the multitude of hypocrisies America is built on. The scene above has school children swearing up a storm and instantly America becomes so offended by profanity that it declares war on Canada, the country the film is from because apparently, swearing is evil. But war is good. It's just one of many, many digs at the country that has somehow become the vanguard of the free world. A place where you can watch America drone bomb a wedding on the news but if someone says fuck on the same news channel they face a massive fine. 

There's something broken there. And the fact that a 2 minute song can brilliantly lampoon this bizarre stance on offensiveness is just stunning. The fact that the song is a genuinely well put together musical creation is the icing on the cake.

Previous pairings

28 Days Later

La Haine

The Skeleton Twins

Pat Garrett & Billy The Kid

Notting Hill

Summer Of Sam

Vamp

American Me

Beetlejuice

Rio Bravo

Hard Boiled
8 mile
Wheels On Meals
The Office (UK)
Do The Right Thing
Se7en
Mad Men
The Colour Of Money
Rules Of Attraction

Jackass II

Game Of Thrones 

Apocalypse Now

Blade

Big
Miller's Crossing

The Blues Brothers

Straight Outta Compton

The Princess Bride

American Honey

Snake In The Eagle's Shadow

On Her Majesty's Secret Service

The Untouchables

Airplane!

Dazed And Confused  

Kickboxer                                  

Grosse Point Blank

Mean Streets

Watership Down

Casablanca

Zodiac

Jackie Brown
The Good, The Bad And The Ugly
Deliverance
The Omen
Copland
Buffy The Vampire Slayer
The Mission

Before Sunset

Carlito's Way
A Knight's Tale
Platoon
Before Sunrise
Rushmore
An American Werewolf In London
Dazed And Confused
Boogie Nights
Raging Bull
Almost Famous
Once Upon A Time In The West
Goodfellas

Last Of The Mohicans

17 films on TV this week that you need in your eyes

It Follows   Sat   22/5   The Horror Channel @ 21.00

Jay finds herself being followed by something odd after she spends the night with her boyfriend. To say anymore would ruin an unsettling and original horror film that takes a ridiculous premise and turns it into a suspense packed story that's darkly funny and flat out terrifying in places. Director David Robert Mitchell is obviously a John Carpenter fan too but that's no bad thing. Maika Monroe as Jay is a mighty lead.

Parenthood   Sat   22/5   TG4 @ 21.20

Three generations of the Buckman's are struggling with life and love. Fathers and mothers are disappointed with the last generation and the next and children are flat out confused about everything. Ron Howard's 1989 comedy drama is a funny, charming and sprawling watch about the horrors of family dynamics. Dianne Wiest, Steve Martin, Jason Robards, Mary Steenburgen, Keanu Reeves and a baby faced Joaquin Phoenix all work well together.

Papillon   Sat   22/5   RTE2 @ 23.25

A seasoned criminal wrongly accused of murder finds himself on a supposedly inescapable island prison and sets out to get his life back. Will he find the resolve to deal with life on the island while planning his escape? Steve McQueen is on fire in this harsh, grim but thoroughly exciting film. It's a long one but the time flies by and Dustin Hoffman is as usual, tremendous in a supporting role as McQueen's fellow convict.

The Green Inferno   Sun   23/5   The Horror Channel @ 00.45

Justine has joined a group of student activists who travel to Peru to protest against Amazonian deforestation. On the way back their plane crashes and the jungle shows it's dark side. This homage to the video nasties of the early 80's is entertainingly gory fun. Of course your enjoyment of it all depends on how strong your stomach is because it's pretty disgusting in places. Lorenza Izzo does solid work in the lead.

The Lobster   Sun   23/5   Film4 @ 01.20

In a dystopian future, single people are given a set amount of time to find a romantic partner or they are turned into an animal of their choosing for the rest of their lives. Sounds odd right? It is, it's absolutely bizarre but it's also rather enjoyable, especially the first half when we get to discover the lay of the land of this strange new world. Colin Farrell and Rachel Weisz as the leads both do a satisfying job.

The Sting   Sun   23/5   ITV4 @ 13.00

An all time best right here. Set during the great depression of the 1920's in Illnois, two grifters team up to pull off a massive con job on a criminal who has wronged them. This is an absolute joy to watch as the intricate pieces of a genius plan fall into place. Funny, tense, thrilling and packed with superb showings from Robert Redford, Paul Newman, Eileen Brennan and Robert Shaw's brilliantly slimy bad guy.

The Natural   Mon   24/5   TCM @ 09.25

Using a bat he created out of a tree struck by lightning a man called Roy Hobbs appears out of nowhere to take the world of baseball by storm in the depression struck 1930's. His career is an unusual one. A magical paean to one of the famous American sports carried by a fantastic performance from Robert Redford. You don't have to like baseball to get a lot out of this one. Just lay back and let it and that famous soundtrack wash over you.

Before I Go To Sleep   Mon   24/5   CH4 @ 02.25

Every day for the last decade Christine has woken up next to a stranger not knowing who she is and each day she has to relearn her life all over again due to brain damage from an incident in her past. Then one day.... Nicole Kidman does nice work as the lead in a twisty turny and quite unpredictable thriller. Anne Marie Duff, Mark Strong and Colin Firth offer solid support.

Hanna   Mon   24/5   TG4 @ 21.30

A young woman has been trained by her father for her entire life to do one thing and she's very very adept at it. Finally her day has come. Saoirse Ronan nails the lead role of Hanna, a young woman with no experience of the outside world who finds herself having to adapt to it all in a hurry. Eric Bana as her Da & Cate Blanchett as the woman looking for her add a nice heft to the film too. An action packed, well acted and slightly surreal watch.

Two Thousand Women   Tues   25/5   Film4 @ 11.00

The inmates of an all woman prisoner of war camp band together to conceal three RAF pilots who've crashed behind enemy lines. A task easier said than done when you've prison guards around every corner. This one is funnier than it sounds and the usual war cliches aside also manages to get in a few well crafted digs at the British class system. Thora Hird, Phyllis Calvert and Patricia Roc do good work here.

Baby Driver   Tues   25/5   Sony Movies @ 21.00

Baby's a legend behind the wheel. His skills have him in high demand as a getaway driver but he has to have the right tune playing in his ears. Edgar Wright's 2017 comedy thriller is far from his sitcom roots but it's a nice slice of excitement for a tuesday night. A wicked soundtrack, some full on belly laughs, a couple of blistering action scenes and a fine cast that includes Ansel Elgort, Lily James, John Hamm and Jamie Foxx.

Defence Of The Realm   Tues   25/5   Talking Pictures TV @ 22.00

An English reporter investigating a politician uncovers links between him and the Russian secret police. Looking deeper he finds corruption that could threaten our very way of existence. This is one of those thrillers that used to be on TV all the time back in the 90s. It's old fashioned yet fast moving, intelligent and mature in a way you rarely see these days. Gabriel Byrne, Greta Saachi and Ian Bannen play their parts well.

The Big Heat   Wed   26/5   Sony Movies @ 01.15

A cop called Dave Bannion's on the warpath. His hunt for criminality has came to his front door and now he's out for justice. Scumbag gangster Vince Stone isn't going to know what hit him. This 1953 crime drama was extremely controversial on release due to one scene involving scalding coffee and 68 years later it still packs a hell of a punch. Glenn Ford, Gloria Grahame and an animalistic Lee Marvin nail their roles.

The Blues Brothers   Wed   26/5   ITV4 @ 23.40

Two brothers finds themselves racing against time to put their band back together to raise money for an orphanage. But angry ex's, angry cops and angry Illnois Nazi's have other ideas. John Landis's 1980 musical comedy is a masterful blend of zany slapstick, crazy stunts, some cracking tunes and a load of belly laughs. John Belushi and Dan Ackroyd lead an unreal cast of real musicians including James Brown, Aretha Franklin and Ray Charles. 

The Last Action Hero   Thur   27/5   Film4 @ 23.45

A young teenager goes to see his favourite action star in a cinema on the verge of closing and finds himself magically transported into the film. While unsavoury aspects of the film are transported into the real world. Sorely underrated on release and way ahead of it's time, this knowing slice of post modern fun has something for everyone. Arnold Schwarzeneggar leads a cast too packed with famous faces to even start naming them.

The Hallow   Fri   28/5   The Horror Channel @ 02.35

A new family moves into a remote Irish village that's surrounded by woods. And in those woods lurks......well you're just going to have to see that for yourselves. A disturbing but interesting Irish take on the horror genre that's sprinkled with more than a bit of Celtic mysticism. It starts off slow but you'll have no fingernails by the end. Joseph Mawle and Bojana Novakovic are effective in the lead roles.

Sicario 2 : Soldado  Fri   28/5   Virgin Media One @ 21.00

A bombing in Kansas has the US government suspecting the cartels at the US/Mexico border of people smuggling. They send in the good guys to sort it out. Well, they call themselves the good guys anyway..... This sequel to the 2015 movie is a lot blunter and far more critical of US foreign policy than it's predecessor. An interesting and thought provoking watch with Josh Brolin, Catherine Kenner and Benicio Del Toro all doing fine work.

A retweet or two is always welcome. Cheers folks.

Odd

Anyone else spent the last 5 months waiting for everything to reopen and then when they do you're half afraid to go anywhere?

Whats that all about?

Has the last 16 months broken us?

Will we ever walk into a bookshop without fear again.

What about ........oh dear lord........ will the cinema become a place of fear?? 

Hook that fuckin vaccine to my veins. 

Army Of The Dead

"What the hell is this?"

"Valentine."

"Valentine?"

"That's a goddamn zombie tiger..........that's crossing the line."

Oh buddy. You ain't seen nothing yet.

In 2020 in the aftermath of the #metoo revelations Zack Snyder found himself in a bit of a quandary. He was in the middle of post production on Army Of The Dead, a new zombie film with a 90 million dollar budget being made for Netflix, when he found out Chris D'Elia, the comedian playing the helicopter pilot in said film had been accused of grooming and sexually harrassing underage girls. So he did what Ridley Scott did with Kevin Spacey in All The Money In The World. He just removed him from the already shot footage and with a few extra days of filming and some nifty CGI replaced him with the great Tig Notaro, a woman who's also sadly experienced the seedier side of the comedy world. She fits into the film perfectly. If you didn't know the story behind it all you probably wouldn't even notice. You will notice the early scene where a rapist is kneecapped and left as zombie bait though. Hopefully D'Elia gets the point too.

Las Vegas. The fun capital of the world. A newlywed couple's amorous activities have caused it's downfall when they crash into a nearby army convoy transporting what can only be described as a super zombie. Before long the city is under the control of the undead and soon after that the entire place has been walled off leaving only wailing ghouls stalking it's streets. There's a lot of money in the vaults under those streets and a team of mercs led by Scott Ward (Dave Bautista), Maria Cruz (Ana de la Reguera) and Vanderohe (Omari Hardwick) are heading in for a big pay day. Ward's daughter Kate (Ella Purnell ) is along for the ride to rescue a friend of hers and if their plans go the way they should they'll spend the rest of their lives in comfort. The one pressing issue is the fact that the U.S. president has decided to nuke the city and wipe out the zombies. A fact that's making their mission rather time sensitive.

Yes. This is as stupid as it sounds. But there's an awful lot of fun to be had on the ride. Snyder's back in the genre that made his name (his 2004 Dawn Of The Dead remake was really good) and he's having a whale of a time. There's more blood and guts spilled during the opening credits here than in the entire 2004 film. Zombie's creeping flesh is of course no match for concrete saws and 50. calibre weapons in scenes that earn the film it's 18 certificate only 10 minutes in. With the exposition of out the way he slows down, throws in a handful of blunt barbs at the state of present day everything, and lets us take our time to get the know the gang. Not that you'll care one way or the other what happens to most of them, but it's always nice to tell who's who in a film like this. Then he dumps us out onto that famous strip. The budget is all on the screen with Vegas looking more post Apocalyptic than a Temple Bar on a Sunday morning pre covid. The best laid plans of mice and men crumble and the undead hoard gets hungry. Shit gets crazy.

But at nearly 2.5 hours long maybe there's a little too much crazy. Things start to get repetitive. There's only so many times you can enjoy seeing a zombie's brains blown clear out of it's skull. You'll start to wonder why a mission on a timer is taking so long. Why is Snyder throwing in yet another nod to Aliens? (seriously, when the last nod happens you'll probably shout fuck off at the screen). Why the film is delving into the mythology of a beast that's going to be obliterated soon enough. Then you'll smell a franchise in the making. It doesn't really excuse a handful of subplots that come to naught though. Subplots that really give the film a saggy midsection and one in particular will leave a bitter taste near the end. It's good that streaming companies are giving it's filmmakers freedom to make the films they want but sometimes freedom equals bloat.

Thankfully most of the freedom equals fun. There's carnage here that has to be seen to be believed. It's without a doubt the biggest zombie film ever made. One can only imagine the film George A. Romero would have done on this budget. We get running/gunning battles through gore soaked casino's, brutal security measures, zombies on horseback, a neck break for the ages, one on one hand to hand combat scenes that never end well. If you've ever wondered what would happen to a man's head when an undead tiger bites into it you'll find out because there's enough crunch here to satisfy any horror fan. The scenes between father and daughter Scott and Kate shine through the blood surprisingly well too with genuine chemistry between Purnell and Bautista giving us something to hope for. Despite the fact that Dave looks like the gable end of a pebble dashed house he's not a bad actor at all. He's certainly better than most of his 80's and 90's counterparts. Hopefully this film will let him out of Marvel's orbit and into the big solo leagues.

Army Of The Dead is streaming on Netflix from Friday. It's about 30 minutes too long but there's a lot to enjoy here. If you aren't squeamish that is. 

RIP Charles Grodin

"Son of a bitch." 4 words I still laugh at 27 years later.

Charles Grodin passed away today aged 86. He'll be missed. A master of his craft who never really got the recognition he deserved. We all knew and loved him as Jonathan Mardukis, the likable mob accountant from Midnight Run but his career encompassed a lot more than the comedies he became famous for in the 80's and 90's. 

Imagine beginning your career under the tutelage of none other than Lee Strasberg and 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea being your first film. Then easing your way into Broadway opposite Anthony Quinn. Then popping up in the scariest film of the 1960's, Rosemary's Baby and using the cachet earned from that role to snag parts in Catch - 22 and the lead in Elaine May's wonderful The Heartbreak Kid. After that he played the man indirectly responsible for King Kong coming to America and the husband of an Incredible Shrinking Woman. Sadly his genius went under appreciated until 1988 when Midnight Run became a favourite film for many and we all fell for his gentle charms and deadpan delivery of lines like "Have you ever had sex with an animal Jack?" from there he led films like Beethoven and stole the show in support in underappreciated gems like Dave. 

That leads us to My Summer Story. The follow up to Bob Clarke's brilliant A Christmas Story. Made 11 years after the original and totally recast. Darren McGavin was out and Charles Grodin was in as Mr Parker, the grumpy but loving patriarch of the Parker family. Me and my friends lived in the video shops when we were younger. Roscrea in the 90's had little to do and if you were too young for pubs there was even less to keep you entertained. So we watched an awful lot of films. Most of them were tosh but we found the odd gem. My Summer Story was one of them and most of it was down to Charles Grodin. He was priceless in the part. I don't remember much of the film but I remember him. And one line in particular shouted at a traffic cop.  Those 4 words above. Nearly 3 decades later I'm still smiling at the memory of our reaction to them. We howled. We rewound. We burst out laughing again. One of those perfect deliveries that makes a film stay with you forever.

Just watch his glee at the 55 second mark. It's magnificent.

R.I.P Charles. 

An ol' fave

I came back to this old favourite tonight. A film I first watched when I was about 12 when it put a deep fear in me. Even the opening credits laid over a static shot of an old house were enough to induce dread. The story of a group of paranormal investigators visiting Hill House in the hope of finding something supernatural. Tonight was the first time I got to see it the way it was supposed to be seen. The version we had taped off TV was a cropped pan & scan copy, in sub standard definition and so dark you could barely make out certain scenes. Tonight's viewing was in the correct aspect ratio and full HD. It was a joy to behold. Shot compositions the way they were meant to be seen, those odd pans and camera tracks, lovely deep focus photography in all it's 2.35:1 glory and full of little details and 'did I or didn't I see something' shadows plastered all over the screen. 

A great way to fall for a film all over again.

Now to try to sleep.......

Those Who Wish Me Dead

 

A young teenage boy sits grimacing as he picks at a manky looking pre-prepared meal. He asks the woman beside him if she eats them too.

"3 meals a day."

"No wonder you're so skinny."

"I'm lean buddy, I'm lean."

Lean. A perfect description of Taylor Sheridan's new action thriller. It all comes in at under 100 minutes. You've got to love that in an age of bloat. The fact that the film itself is an enjoyable slice of fluff is nice too i suppose..

Trauma clashes with trauma when Hannah (Angelina Jolie) and Connor (Finn Little) meet in the woods of Montana. She's a fire fighter haunted by the memory of a tragedy during a forest blaze and he's on the run after his accountant father has been gunned down by a pair of assassins. As they try to reach civilisation the killers (Aiden Gillen and Nicholas Hoult) start a fire to cover their tracks and begin to stalk them. The only person with an inkling of what's happening is Ethan (Jon Bernthal), the local sheriff with a connection to the hunted party. But he's got Allison (Medina Senghore), his pregnant wife, on his mind too and his day gets really bad when he spots a man made inferno on the horizon.

We don't get many films like this anymore. Big action films with starry casts and an epic sweep that are aimed squarely at adults, laced with the type of profanity and crunching violence that would make those studios constantly seeking the family dollar stop in their tracks. It's refreshing, a throwback to a time before franchises were everything. A simple story well told. It's little wonder Jolie choose it as her return to big films. Here she's jumping, hacking and slashing, reminding you of her action roots, before real life and CGI Panda films took over. Her interactions with Finn Little feel maternal and natural. But she's not called on to carry the film on her shoulders either, with the work being shared out amongst the ensemble cast. Everyone gets their time to shine here and at times the film's most satisfying moments go to the actors you'll know the least.

Jolie's definitely the most recognisable face but it's Medina Senghore as Allison who'll have you cheering especially during her two interactions with Aiden Gillen's hitman Jack. She's pregnant, you'll be on edge, but her condition isn't going to define her character and oh yeah, satisfaction is guaranteed. Casting Jon Bernthal as her husband is a clever move. We're used to seeing him hulking around the screen, dishing out bloody justice but here his character is used another way, adding a nice touch of unpredictability to proceedings. Playing against type also is Nicholas Hoult as Patrick, the other half of the murderous duo. We've watched him grow up onscreen. Odd little Marcus from About A Boy, the X-Men films, Skins etc so seeing him approaching a child intending to slash his throat will give anyone an effective shiver.

But's it's this moment and others in the latter half of the story that make the film falter and cheapen it slightly. The baddies are introduced as a pair of vicious killers, who'll pop anyone to hide evidence of a hit and start gigantic fires to divert attention away from themselves. They're organised, have obvious military training & smarts. So why have them make stupid decisions, split up, talk instead of shoot, turn their backs on enemies, all the silly things that every common or garden film baddie does. It's all in the name of plot armour for our heroes and it definitely will lift you out of the story at times.

Those Who Wish Me Dead is streaming online now if you use a VPN and hopefully will get a cinema release later in the year here. It's a film that will do well on the big screen where it's visual and visceral impact will have a bigger wallop. It's far from perfect but it's entertaining and crunchy. Sometimes that's all you'll need.

16 films on TV this week just for you

Con Air   Sat   15/5   ITV @ 22.50

Cameron Poe is going home after a spell in jail for killing a man while defending his wife. On the plane ride across the desert a group of prisoners decide to hijack his transport. Now one man and his mullet must take them on. A perfect Saturday night movie. Riotously silly and stupid but oh so enjoyable. Have a drink and watch Nicholas Cage take care of business. John Cusack, Ving Rhames, Colm Meaney and a terrifying John Malkovich all add to the mix.

Drag Me To Hell   Sat   15/5   Film4 @ 23.10

Sam Raimi's hilariously gooey & crunchy tale of a young woman's mistake and her efforts to fix that mistake. Alison Lohman has a whale of a time in the lead role and certainly earns her pay as she gets thrown around the screen like the Coyote in the old Roadrunner cartoons. This is the ideal horror film for people who claim not to like horror. It's a load of laughs and you'll snort as much as you roar at the screen

X+Y   Sun   15/5   BBC1 @ 00.15

A young autistic man finds his closed in world opening up when he takes part in an international mathematics competition. A nice film that will make you blub and make you smile. It's not exactly a comprehensive look at the condition but it gives us an idea of what people with it and their families go through. There's great acting from Asa Butterfield and Sally Hawkins as son & mother and Rafe Spall & Eddie Marsan are always a pleasure to see onscreen.

The Big Sick   Sun   15/5   RTE2 @ 00.55

Emily & Kumail fall in love but Emily is white and Kumail's Indian family do not approve. When Emily falls seriously ill Kumail is forced to decide what is truly important to him. This is a delightful watch, heartfelt and charming in a way that will leave you beaming after it. Kumail Nanjiani and Zoe Kazan make a solid central pairing and Holly Hunter and Ray Romano in back up do all sorts of good work.

Fried Green Tomatoes At The Whistle Stop Cafe   Sun   15/5   Virgin Media One @ 17.30

A woman trapped in a miserable marriage makes friends with an elderly woman & begins to change her life as her older friend's stories start to have an effect on her. Flashing between the modern day & life in early 20th century Alabama this is a lovely tale that is at times both sad and heartwarming. The always reliable Kathy Bates and Jessica Tandy play the modern leads with Mary Stuart Masterson & Mary Louise Parker appearing in the past.

Psycho   Sun   15/5   Sony Movies @ 21.00

Marion has just stolen a lot of money and now she's on the run up along the Californian coastline. She checks into a motel and meets a friendly young man named Norman. The rest is history. Literally. Alfred Hitchcock's masterpiece has often been copied but never equalled and it's about turn from crime thriller into shrieking horror gets you every single time. Vera Miles, Anthony Hopkins, Janet Leigh and Martin Balsam do wonderful work.

The Counselor   Mon   16/5   CH4 @ 00.25

Time for a divisive film. A lawyer with iffy friends allows himself to be dragged into deals that offer huge rewards. With big highs come massive lows. One notoriously silly scene in Ridley Scott's 2013 thriller put most people off this film on it's initial release but that aside it's a entertaining but graphically violent thriller about the downside of greed. Michael Fassbinder, Penelope Cruz and Brad Pitt stand out in a packed cast.

The End Of The Affair   Mon   16/5   TCM @ 21.00

At the beginning of World War II a man and a married woman begin an affair. As these things are want to do, it does not end well. The second adaption of Graham Greene's celebrated novel is more sexually explicit than the first but it's also a deeper, richer, and more complex look at love and obsession powered by a trio of superb performances from Julianne Moore, Stephen Rea and Ralph Fiennes.

The Florida Project   Mon   16/5   Film4 @ 23.55

Florida is known for it's massive amusement and theme parks. But what about the lives lived in the shadows of those money making behemoths. Little Brooklynn Prince as Moonee will break your heart in a film that's both heartfelt and oddly hilarious. Sean Baker's direction and his juxtaposition of poverty and wealth offer loads of food for thought. Oh and Willem Dafoe's character Bobby will become a fast fave.

Manhunter   Tues   17/5   ITV4 @ 22.45

There's a serial killer called the Tooth Fairy murdering entire families and an ex FBI profiler called Will Graham is out to stop him. But he needs help from another killer he once jailed. A man called Lektor. Michael Mann's 1986 film is arguably the best adaption of Thomas Harris's books. It eschews the hamminess of the later films and goes straight for the jugular with an unerring aim. William Petersen, Brian Cox & Tom Noonan do mighty work here.

Last Man Standing   Tues   17/5   TCM @ 23.30

A drifter rocks into a dusty town. Prohibition is in effect and two gangs, one Irish and one Italian, are war with each other over the supply of illegal alcohol. He spies an opportunity to make his mark. First there was Yojimbo, then A Fistful Of Dollars and now this. Walter Hill takes a old story and adds his unique style to it. Add in Bruce Willis back in the days when he still gave a damn, throw in a million bullets and some very dark humour and you have a fun filled watch. 

Eurovision Song Contest : The Story Of Fire Saga   Wed   18/5   RTE1 @ 21.35

Do you enjoy Will Ferrell and the silly old jokes he's been relying on forever? If yes, then you'll like this. If not there's still enough going on that you can ignore him. Lars Erickssong and Sigrit Ericksdóttir are Fire Saga and they've been picked to represent Iceland in the Eurovision. Everything goes wrong for them. Rachel McAdam and Dan Stevens are the saving graces here. Stevens especially goes all out with a wildly camp performance perfectly suited to the madness on display.

Devil's Knot   Thur   19/5   CH4 @ 01.55

3 children are dead. 3 teenagers are being blamed. The town of West Memphis is about to go up in flames at the news that the reasons behind the violence may be satanic. A private investigator and a grieving mother are the only two who smell a rat. A strong and disturbing look at a real life case and a film that's powered by a stacked cast that includes Reese Witherspoon, Amy Ryan, Colin Firth and Alessandro Nivola. 

Paris, Texas   Thur   19/5   Film4 @ 23.15

A man wanders into a cafe by a road in the middle of a desert. He can't or won't talk and his condition is baffling. He brother arrives and we find out he's been missing for four years. Wim Wender's drama is a quiet, experimental, emotional stunner. It's slow pace won't be for everyone but stick with it and you'll get a story that will stay in your head for weeks to come. The late great Harry Dean Stanton nails the lead while Dean Stockwell and Natassja Kinski offer wonderful back up.

A Quiet Place   Fri   20/5   CH4 @ 23.05

In a world where the slightest sound can get you torn asunder a family struggles to survive and thrive. You want your nerves wracked? Well look no further than this full blooded sci-fi horror. Stressful, frightening, inventive and with an absolutely killer final scene. Best of all? It's only 90 minutes long. Jon Krazinski's debut film as director is a success and his onscreen chemistry with his real life wife Emily Blunt is the icing on the cake.

Death Line   Fri   20/5   Talking Pictures TV @ 23.00

Something strange is happening on the London underground near Russell Square. In the dark shadows hungry things are lurking. Things with a truly horrifying past. Death Line may be nearly 50 years old but it's still so effectively made and creepy that you'll shudder the next time you find yourself on a subterranean train. It's bleak, harrowing stuff but Donald Pleasance and Hugh Armstrong's performances will see you through to the end.

An aul retweet is always appreciated. Thank you.

16 films on TV just for you this week

Con Air   Sat   15/5   ITV @ 22.50

Cameron Poe is going home after a spell in jail for killing a man while defending his wife. On the plane ride across the desert a group of prisoners decide to hijack his transport. Now one man and his mullet must take them on. A perfect Saturday night movie. Riotously silly and stupid but oh so enjoyable. Have a drink and watch Nicholas Cage take care of business. John Cusack, Ving Rhames, Colm Meaney and a terrifying John Malkovich all add to the mix.

Drag Me To Hell   Sat   15/5   Film4 @ 23.10

Sam Raimi's hilariously gooey & crunchy tale of a young woman's mistake and her efforts to fix that mistake. Alison Lohman has a whale of a time in the lead role and certainly earns her pay as she gets thrown around the screen like the Coyote in the old Roadrunner cartoons. This is the ideal horror film for people who claim not to like horror. It's a load of laughs and you'll snort as much as you roar at the screen

X+Y   Sun   15/5   BBC1 @ 00.15

A young autistic man finds his closed in world opening up when he takes part in an international mathematics competition. A nice film that will make you blub and make you smile. It's not exactly a comprehensive look at the condition but it gives us an idea of what people with it and their families go through. There's great acting from Asa Butterfield and Sally Hawkins as son & mother and Rafe Spall & Eddie Marsan are always a pleasure to see onscreen.

The Big Sick   Sun   15/5   RTE2 @ 00.55

Emily & Kumail fall in love but Emily is white and Kumail's Indian family do not approve. When Emily falls seriously ill Kumail is forced to decide what is truly important to him. This is a delightful watch, heartfelt and charming in a way that will leave you beaming after it. Kumail Nanjiani and Zoe Kazan make a solid central pairing and Holly Hunter and Ray Romano in back up do all sorts of good work.

Fried Green Tomatoes At The Whistle Stop Cafe   Sun   15/5   Virgin Media One @ 17.30

A woman trapped in a miserable marriage makes friends with an elderly woman & begins to change her life as her older friend's stories start to have an effect on her. Flashing between the modern day & life in early 20th century Alabama this is a lovely tale that is at times both sad and heartwarming. The always reliable Kathy Bates and Jessica Tandy play the modern leads with Mary Stuart Masterson & Mary Louise Parker appearing in the past.

Psycho   Sun   15/5   Sony Movies @ 21.00

Marion has just stolen a lot of money and now she's on the run up along the Californian coastline. She checks into a motel and meets a friendly young man named Norman. The rest is history. Literally. Alfred Hitchcock's masterpiece has often been copied but never equalled and it's about turn from crime thriller into shrieking horror gets you every single time. Vera Miles, Anthony Hopkins, Janet Leigh and Martin Balsam do wonderful work.

The Counselor   Mon   16/5   CH4 @ 00.25

Time for a divisive film. A lawyer with iffy friends allows himself to be dragged into deals that offer huge rewards. With big highs come massive lows. One notoriously silly scene in Ridley Scott's 2013 thriller put most people off this film on it's initial release but that aside it's a entertaining but graphically violent thriller about the downside of greed. Michael Fassbinder, Penelope Cruz and Brad Pitt stand out in a packed cast.

The End Of The Affair   Mon   16/5   TCM @ 21.00

At the beginning of World War II a man and a married woman begin an affair. As these things are want to do, it does not end well. The second adaption of Graham Greene's celebrated novel is more sexually explicit than the first but it's also a deeper, richer, and more complex look at love and obsession powered by a trio of superb performances from Julianne Moore, Stephen Rea and Ralph Fiennes.

The Florida Project   Mon   16/5   Film4 @ 23.55

Florida is known for it's massive amusement and theme parks. But what about the lives lived in the shadows of those money making behemoths. Little Brooklynn Prince as Moonee will break your heart in a film that's both heartfelt and oddly hilarious. Sean Baker's direction and his juxtaposition of poverty and wealth offer loads of food for thought. Oh and Willem Dafoe's character Bobby will become a fast fave.

Manhunter   Tues   17/5   ITV4 @ 22.45

There's a serial killer called the Tooth Fairy murdering entire families and an ex FBI profiler called Will Graham is out to stop him. But he needs help from another killer he once jailed. A man called Lektor. Michael Mann's 1986 film is arguably the best adaption of Thomas Harris's books. It eschews the hamminess of the later films and goes straight for the jugular with an unerring aim. William Petersen, Brian Cox & Tom Noonan do mighty work here.

Last Man Standing   Tues   17/5   TCM @ 23.30

A drifter rocks into a dusty town. Prohibition is in effect and two gangs, one Irish and one Italian, are war with each other over the supply of illegal alcohol. He spies an opportunity to make his mark. First there was Yojimbo, then A Fistful Of Dollars and now this. Walter Hill takes a old story and adds his unique style to it. Add in Bruce Willis back in the days when he still gave a damn, throw in a million bullets and some very dark humour and you have a fun filled watch. 

Eurovision Song Contest : The Story Of Fire Saga  Wed   18/5   RTE1 @ 21.35

Do you enjoy Will Ferrell and the silly old jokes he's been relying on forever? If yes, then you'll like this. If not there's still enough going on that you can ignore him. Lars Erickssong and Sigrit Ericksdóttir are Fire Saga and they've been picked to represent Iceland in the Eurovision. Everything goes wrong for them. Rachel McAdam and Dan Stevens are the saving graces here. Stevens especially goes all out with a wildly camp performance perfectly suited to the madness on display.

Devil's Knot   Thur   19/5   CH4 @ 01.55

3 children are dead. 3 teenagers are being blamed. The town of West Memphis is about to go up in flames at the news that the reasons behind the violence may be satanic. A private investigator and a grieving mother are the only two who smell a rat. A strong and disturbing look at a real life case and a film that's powered by a stacked cast that includes Reese Witherspoon, Amy Ryan, Colin Firth and Alessandro Nivola. 

Paris, Texas   Thur   19/5   Film4 @ 23.15

A man wanders into a cafe by a road in the middle of a desert. He can't or won't talk and his condition is baffling. He brother arrives and we find out he's been missing for four years. Wim Wender's drama is a quiet, experimental, emotional stunner. It's slow pace won't be for everyone but stick with it and you'll get a story that will stay in your head for weeks to come. The late great Harry Dean Stanton nails the lead while Dean Stockwell and Natassja Kinski offer wonderful back up.

A Quiet Place   Fri   20/5   CH4 @ 23.05

In a world where the slightest sound can get you torn asunder a family struggles to survive and thrive. You want your nerves wracked? Well look no further than this full blooded sci-fi horror. Stressful, frightening, inventive and with an absolutely killer final scene. Best of all? It's only 90 minutes long. Jon Krazinski's debut film as director is a success and his onscreen chemistry with his real life wife Emily Blunt is the icing on the cake.

Death Line   Fri   20/5   Talking Pictures TV @ 23.00

Something strange is happening on the London underground near Russell Square. In the dark shadows hungry things are lurking. Things with a truly horrifying past. Death Line may be nearly 50 years old but it's still so effectively made and creepy that you'll shudder the next time you find yourself on a subterranean train. It's bleak, harrowing stuff but Donald Pleasance and Hugh Armstrong's performances will see you through to the end.