16 films of interest to watch on TV this week

Weird Science   Sat   30/4   BBC3 @ 22.00

Gary and Wayne are a pair of nerds who are sick and tired of being school punchbags and knowing that they have no chance with women because of their reputations they decide to create one with their scientific knowledge. Everything goes wrong of course. John Hughes's 1985 comedy has aged quite painfully in places but it's still an entertaining slice of nostalgia for the middle aged among us. Kelly LeBrock steals the show and keep an eye out for a baby faced Robert Downey Jr.

Out Of Innocence   Sat   30/4   RTE1 @ 22.00

A baby's body is found on a beach. A young woman not even from the area is blamed and coercion is used to make her and her family confess. The good old days of 1980's Ireland where the church and gardai ruled by fear. Based on a real case this 2016 Irish drama is a bit simplistic and stretched in places but there's a righteous fury at play here and two magnificent performances from Fionnula Flaherty and Fiona Shaw demand you keep going through the heartbreak.

Get Shorty   Sat   30/4   TG4 @ 22.20

Hollywood's a dark and shifty place and when mobster Chilli Palmer rocks into town to collect a debt he realises he fits right in. So he decides to make himself at home. Barry Sonnenfeld's comedy drama is an absolute joy and it's easily the best utilisation of John Travolta's talents since his 90's career renaissance. The cast also includes Rene Russo, Gene Hackman, Delroy Lindo, Danny Devito and many more and they all bring their A-game.

A White,White Day   Sun   1/5   BBC2 @ 00.55

Ingimundur, an Icelandic police chief is dealing with the loss of his wife with the help of his work and their daughter. To help him through the process she hands over some of her mother's belongings and something catches Ingimundur's eye. A rattler of a film, a brutal look at the effects of grief and a hefty character study rolled into one. It's not for everyone but it's well worth recording. Ingvar Eggert Sigurðsson is amazing in the main role.

Bend Of The River   Sun   1/5   ITV4 @ 13.20

The second collaboration between James Stewart and director Anthony Mann is a majestic watch. An oft told tale of simple homesteaders being harassed by landowners but one that's kept fresh by authentic acting, action and scenery. Plus it's always fun to see an actor with a screen persona like Stewart play someone ruthless and it all plays out in glorious Technicolor too. A nice old fashioned Sunday afternoon film.

The Bride Of Frankenstein   Sun   1/5   The Horror Channel @ 22.25

Doctor Frankenstein is dismayed after the events of his earlier story and wants to give up on his experiments to create life after death but a mentor of his urges him to continue and to create a mate for his infamous invention. James Whale's 1935 masterpiece is a rare beast, a sequel that's better than it's predecessor. A layered, intelligent, imaginative, soulful and eerie stunner with brilliant showings from Boris Karloff and Elsa Lanchester.

Lady In Cement   Mon   2/5   Talking Pictures TV @ 21.00

Private eye Tony Rome is on holidays in Florida when he makes a grisly discovery beneath the warm waves near Miami. After reporting it to the police his services are hired in another case but something seems familiar. Too familiar. A surprisingly breezy movie despite it's subject manner and a reminder that Frank Sinatra, as Tony, was actually a strong actor when he put his mind to it. Racquel Welch and Dan Blocker add nice support.

The Wolf Of Wall Street   Mon   2/5   TG4 @ 21.30

Jordan Belfort was a scumbag who ripped people off all over America in the 1980's and 90's selling ropey shares. Somehow Martin Scorsese has managed to turn his story into an extremely funny and compulsively watchable tale about the dangers of capitalism and egotism. Leonardo DiCaprio is tremendous in the lead role and gets wicked back up from Margot Robbie, Jonah Hill and John Bernthal. Not for the easily offended. Seriously.

45 Years   Tues   3/5   Film4 @ 01.25

Just as they are about to celebrate their 45th anniversary a couple receive a piece of news that shakes the foundations of their relationship. Charlotte Rampling and Tom Courtenay are fantastic in a deeply humane film that will make you rethink your ideas about how other people perceive you. Seeing these two old pros getting to grips with a meaty and mature story is a compelling way to spend a couple of hours.

Anna And The Apocalypse   Tues   3/5   The Horror Channel @ 02.25

Anna's about to finish school and go travelling for a year. Her Da is not happy about it, her best friend is secretly in love with her and a fleeting romantic acquaintance is being awkward. Life is messy and gets worse when the end of the world kicks off. A bizarre blend of christmas movie, horror, comedy and musical that shouldn't work at all but somehow it does. An amusing story made even better by it's memorable characters. 

Zoltan, Hound Of Dracula   Wed   4/5   Talking Pictures TV @ 00.05

Army shenanigans have unearthed a scary crypt and in that crypt is something ungodly, a demon on four legs, Zoltan, the faithful servant of the Prince Of Darkness. He's free, he's hungry and pedigree chum just won't do. Yep, it's as stupid as it sounds but it's a lot of fun too coming at the tale (tail heh) end of that golden era of 1970's American horror while effective turns from Jose Ferrer and Reggie Nalder keep it bobbing along.

Picnic At Hanging Rock   Thur   5/5   Film4 @ 00.50

February 14th. 1900. A class excursion to Hanging Rock in the wilds of Victoria, Australia ends in disaster when a teacher and pupils vanish without a trace. Peter Weir's 1975 classic put Antipodean cinema on the map and rightly so. It's a haunting, puzzling, unnerving, dreamlike movie that asks more than it answers but once you've seen it you won't forget it for a long while. Rachel Roberts and Anne-Louise Lambert nail their parts.

Top Hat   Thur   5/5   BBC4 @ 21.00

If you've seen The Green Mile you'll recognise the most famous scene in Top Hat instantly. The story of an American dancer coming to London and the dancing partner he first annoys and then falls for. After a series of mistakes and miscommunications of course. 87 years old this year and still as charming as when it was first released. Ginger Rogers & Fred Astaire create a little bit of magic onscreen together.  

Sudden Death   Thur   5/5   ITV4 @ 22.05

Darren McCord is a security guard working in an ice hockey rink and a man haunted by his past. When a game night is taken over by terrorists he has a chance to redeem himself. An enjoyable adventure that manages to hit all the action beats you'd expect while simultaneously ripping the mick out of the entire genre. Jean Claude Van Damme is fun as McCord and the much missed Powers Boothe is a deadly boo hiss bad guy.

Call Me By Your Name   Fri   6/5   RTE2 @ 21.45

Elio, a teenager lives a carefree life in the early 80's Italy. Until he meets Oliver, an American man hired to work with his father and his life gets rather complicated when he starts to feel attracted to him. Lead Timothée Chalamet does his drippy thing as usual but here it suits the film. A heartfelt look at the pain and angst and discovery of your formative years with Armie Hammer and Michael Stuhlbarg doing excellent work.

Alone In Berlin   Fri   6/5   RTE1 @ 23.20

A family tragedy during World War 2 brings home to a pair of grieving parents the fact that the political ideology they have given themselves over to doesn't care less about them or their feelings. If you can get past the sight of Ireland's favourite actor (™) Brendan Gleeson playing a nazi sympathiser you'll find plenty to get your teeth into here. Emma Thompson and Daniel Brühl do well in a sadly still topical story.

Retweets are always appreciated :) 

Big screen Bond

The local cinema is showing every Bond film starting with Dr No starting from next Wednesday. I'm over the moon. I've seen them all since Licence To Kill in the cinema and now's my chance to catch the rest on the big screen. Little Nelly from You Only Live Twice. THAT pigeon doubletake from Moonraker. A BLIMP SNEAKING UP ON A WOMAN in A View To A Kill. Bambi & Thumper from the otherwise godawful Diamonds Are Forever. The best car stunt ever filmed from The Man With The Golden Gun.

Oh man I'm so fucking giddy. I shall be seeing them all.

16 films on TV this week to help you ignore everything

Mean Girls   Sat   23/4   5Star @ 23.10

The world of American high schools is a scary and complex place as 16 year old Cady Heron finds out when her family return from working in Africa and she goes to class for the first time in her life. Tina Fey's 2004 comedy is a smart, knowing and funny look at the hierarchies and horrors of what many people call the best times of their lives. The fools. Lindsay Lohan, Lizzy Caplan, Rachel McAdams, Amy Poehler and Amanda Seyfried all rock their roles.

Inserts   Sat   23/4   Talking Pictures TV @ 23.15

The introduction of sound to film is taking it's toll on the silent movie stars of Hollywood and they are changing the way they do their work to survive in the wacky home of showbusiness. A unique and interesting chamber piece from 1975 about an era of film making that's rarely talked about anymore but one that was massively important nonetheless. Veronica Cartwright, Richard Dreyfuss and horror fave Jessica Harper work well together.

Dorian Gray   Sat   23/4   RTE2 @ 23.35

Based on Oscar Wilde's famous 19th century novel, Dorian Gray tells the story of a young man and the special deal he makes to ensure he stays looking exactly the same as he did the day he gets that infamous portrait done. A lavish and surprisingly bloody take on the story, with a couple of it's own unique twists and turns. A film that might offend some but it's an intriguing watch led by a decent turn from Ben Barnes.

The Spy Who Came In From the Cold   Sun   24/4   TG4 @ 14.35

Mr Leamas has been kicked out of M16 and is totally disillusioned with the state of English politics. He's willing to sell state secrets and East German agents are willing to buy them. But is it all as it seems? Hmmm? This 1965 take on the John leCarre book is a far more absorbing and engaging film than later adaptions of his work with mystery abounding and compelling performances from Richard Burton, Claire Bloom and Cyril Cusack keeping everything moving on nicely.

Barefoot In The Park   Sun   24/4   RTE1 @ 15.45

Paul and Carrie are like oil and water, chalk and cheese, up and down. Yet somehow they've ended up married and now they've got to get to know each other during their honeymoon and before they start to live together. A lovely Sunday afternoon watch from 1967 and from the pen of Neil Simon, it's romcom farce at it's best and when you've got Jane Fonda and Robert Redford playing the leads you really can't go wrong.

True Grit   Sun   24/4   ITV4 @ 21.00

A young woman hires a briary old U.S. marshal to hunt the men who killed her father. The Coen Brother's fiercely entertaining remake of the classic John Wayne western is a rare beast - a remake that surpasses the original. A droll, quirky and in places quite touching story. The cast is top notch too with Hailee Steinfeld superb in her debut acting role but the film belongs to Jeff Bridges as Rooster Cogburn. He's just flawless in the part.

Assassination Nation   Sun   24/4   Film4 @ 23.50

A phone hack has unleashed the worst secrets of a small American town. Tempers are rising, friendships are shattered and vengeance is sought. Four highschool friends team up to protect themselves and dole out justice. A dark 2018 thriller that's a wild and violent ride which takes aim at everything wrong with modern day America. It's not always successful but when it works it REALLY works. Odessa Young, Hari Nef and Suki Waterhouse are an effective leading trio.

Posse   Mon   25/4   TCM @ 23.35

A group of buffalo soldiers are home from war and weary from travel. As black cowboys they face hatred at every turn and surviving the wild west is a tough prospect but a quest for justice is keeping their fight alive. Mario Van Peebles directs and stars in a fine slice of western revisionism. It was not well received back in 1993 but it's definitely a film worthy of re-evaluation. The cast makes it sing too with hefty turns from Van Peeples, Blair Underwood and Tiny Lister.

Jimmy's Hall   Tue   26/4   Film4 @ 01.45

After 10 years in the United States Jimmy's come home and he's brought ideas with him. Ideas that don't sit well with a church run state or with the Garda Síochána who enforce the rules. When he starts opening people's minds he's a goner. Ken Loach directs an angry and caustic look at post civil war Ireland and the social mores that held us down for decades. Barry Ward, Simone Kirby and a vicious Jim Norton all hit the mark. 

The Terror   Wed   27/4   Talking Pictures TV @ 03.20

Andre, a soldier lost in 19th century Germany after a battle is saved by a woman with a deep and dark secret. A secret involving a baron who's being torn asunder by his guilt over an act in his past. Roger Corman's 1963 horror might look a bit cheap and shoddy but it's atmosphere is spot on and a trio of wild turns from Jack Nicholson, Sandra Knight and Boris Karloff keep everything ticking over. The story of the making of The Terror is worth reading here.

Alien   Wed   27/4   ITV4 @ 21.00

The crew of the spaceship Nosotromo have touched down on a moon and they've discovered something weird and egglike. That pulsates. Ridley Scott's sci-fi horror is 43 years old now and it's still as scary as it was on it's release date. A sweaty, claustrophobic and tension packed watch that's dotted with a couple of scenes for the ages and all grounded by terrific turns from Sigourney Weaver,  John Hurt,Tom Skerritt, Veronica Cartwright, Yaphet Kotto and Ian Holm.

Calm With Horses   Wed   27/4   Film4 @ 21.00

Arm's handy with his fists and the criminal family who run the small seaside town he calls his home love to take advantage of that fact. He's got his son and ex girlfriend to care for but the line of work he's in is catching up fast with him. Covid killed this Irish film dead in early 2020 and it's a pity it never found an audience. It's dark and dreary stuff but there's a beautiful streak of humanity in it that will keep you watching. Cosmo Jarvis, Niamh Algar and Barry Keoghan are all deadly.

Laura   Thur   28/4   Talking Pictures TV @ 18.15

NYPD detective McPherson is investigating the murder of Laura Hunt. The deeper into the investigation he gets the more obsessed he becomes and people around him start to worry. This film noir thriller from Otto Preminger is as strong as they get. Complex, constantly surprising, full of suspense and stylish as hell. There's effective acting from Gene Tierney (as Laura) and Clifton Webb too. Definitely worth your time.

The Outlaw   Thur   28/4   BBC4 @ 22.30

Numerous legends of the Wild West clash in a Howard Hughes directed story of Pat Garrett, Doc Holliday, Billy The Kid and Rio McDonald, the woman all three lust over when they clash in a New Mexico town. It was infamous on it's release for it's sexual overtones and the way Hughes photographed Jane Russell's attributes but the scandal overshadowed an interesting curiosity of a story. Russell and Walter Huston (John's Father) are the standouts.

The Good Liar   Fri   29/4   RTE2 @ 22.00

Betty's been recently widowed and she's got quite a bit of cash in the bank. Roy's a con-man and he's set his sights on her. But has he bitten off more than he can chew? One revelation in this 2019 thriller will roll your eyes right out of your head but the real pleasure here is watching consummate professionals like Helen Mirren and Ian McKellen going head to head with each other. It's rough in places so be wary but it's a solid friday night watch.

Cape Fear   Fri   29/4   BBC1 @ 22.40

Max Cady is back in town and he's looking to get revenge on Sam Bowden, the lawyer who sent him to jail. Sam's family are in the line of fire too. Martin Scorsese's 1991 thriller is overblown, silly and hideously violent in places but it's also great. A hilariously excessive Robert De Niro performance both roughs up and smooths it's edges while powerful work from Jessica Lange, Juliette Lewis and Nick Nolte turn it all into a heady brew.

If you've found something new or even an old fave a retweet is always appreciated. Thank you.

bollixed

I'm so tired these days I can't even watch a film.

What is happening?

Is this what being in your 40's is?

A constant dose ache and pain and no desire to do the stuff you love?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Fuck it. 

I'm going to make myself watch something I love. 

Ahhh yeah, that's the stuff.

The Sadness

The Sadness is the most violent horror film you'll see this year. It's probably the most violent horror film you'll watch this decade...nah, you know what, scratch that, it' might be the most violent horror film you'll ever see. Well unless you frequent the darker sides of the internet but that's a strange place for stranger people so let's just say The Sadness will freak you out.

There's something viral the air in Taipei, the capital of Taiwan and it's making people freak out. Not in an exasperated "FUCK IT ANYWAY!" kind of way but more dunk a person's head in boiling oil and then rip the melting flesh off their face kind of way. Jim (Berant Zhu) sees this happen up close and personal in his local cafe and his day is only going to get worse from there. Wholesale butchery is turning his city into a bloodstained warzone and no one knows why and all Jim can do is think about Kat (Regina Lei), his other half using the city subway to get to work. What she sees happen on a train carriage is enough to turn anyone catatonic for life but Kat is a hardy lady and now their mission is to fight their way across urban hell to reunite before the sadness catches up to them.

Jesus christ. JESUS CHRIST. That's all you'll be saying for the first hour of this topical gorefest. It's a vicious, insane assault on the senses that barely gives you time to catch your breath in between it's bouts of hideous bloodletting. It starts off fun in an "oh fuck" kind of way but eventually it's violence just becomes numbing and repetitive and by the gouged out eye socket rape scene (yeah you sadly read that right) you just want it to be over and done with and when the end does come it feels like Canadian writer/director Rob Jabbaz just flat out ran out of ideas letting it finish on a whimper instead of a roar. It's disappointing because that first and second act is just nonstop. We get to know and like Jim and Kat for a wee while until the plot separates them and then it's just chaos, lovingly designed gore setpieces hitting one after the other in a manner that will either have you running for the door or laughing your arse off.

An early gorefree moment sets the agenda though. Kat, reading in a train carriage, alone but surrounded by other commuters. An older man sits next to her and attempts conversation. It's innocent at first but imperceptibly turns sinister and then sickening. Jabbaz's message is clear, humanity can't help itself, even without that disease ripping the city apart above ground we're prey to our baser instincts and when the sadness does hit it just lets loose what we really want to do. In sanguis veritas if you will. It might be a cynical worldview but it's not far off the mark and it's compounded later on by the actions of a security guard that will have you hissing at the screen. But in films like this everyone gets what's coming to them and if it's blood and guts you want, you'll get all you'll ever need here.

With it's clearly, carefully shot and well choreographed action it's obvious Jabbaz has talent. His horror chops are strong too with some big nods to the likes of Irreversible and A Serbian Movie and Garth's Ennis's long running comic series Crossed. Like that comic The Sadness does at times go beyond the pale into a place that's flat out offensive and it's those couple of moments alongside a weak ending that may well stop this from becoming a horror favourite in years to come. 

The Sadness will be streaming on Shudder soon.

15 films on TV this week to get stuck into

I Blame Society   Sat   16/4   Film4 @ 23.00

No one is interested in Gillian's film about Israel so she has another idea, an idea about her being a serial killer, an idea that she's all too willing to put some serious research into, using the rage she's built inside as an ignored moviemaker. A dark but funny and inventive spin on a familiar story that overcomes it's apparent micro budget with clever ideas and acting from writer / director / actor Gillian Wallace Horvat.

Hanna   Sat   16/4   TCM @ 23.00

A young woman has been trained by her father for her entire life to do one thing and she's very adept at it. Finally her day has come. Saoirse Ronan nails the lead role of Hanna, a young woman with no experience of the outside world who finds herself having to adapt to it all in a hurry. Eric Bana as her Da & Cate Blanchett as the woman looking for her add a nice heft to the film too. An action packed, well acted and slightly surreal watch.

The Sun Is Also A Star   Sun   17/4   RTE2 @ 00.15

Natasha lives in NYC with her family and because they are all staying there illegally they're facing deportation back to Jamaica. Daniel's a Korean student studying to get into Yale. One day they meet on the subway and....A warm and uncynical love story about a clash of cultures and the magic that can be weaved from rare interactions. Yara Shahidi and Charles Melton create a nice chemistry together.

Jackals   Sun   17/4   The Horror Channel @ 02.45

A deprogrammer has been hired by a family to help rescue their son from the wicked hands of a murderous cult but these pesky murderous cults don't take likely to intrusions onto their territory. There's more than a hint of Straw Dogs to this 2017 horror thriller and while it's not a patch on that slice of cinematic notoriety there's plenty of enjoyable jumps and jolts to experience. Johnathon Schaech and Deborah Kara Unger work well as the cult leaders.

Bachelorette   Sun   17/4   5Star @ 23.00

Becky's getting hitched and Regan, Gena and Katie are her bridesmaids. They are also a trio of absolute wagons who are coming close to ruining the day the bride has been looking forward to forever. Not everyone is going to like it but if you can get in tune with it's at times mean spirited blend of comedy and cringe you will have fun. The cast is awesome with Kirsten Dunst, Isla Fisher, Rebel Wilson and Lizzy Caplan all having a whale of a time.

The Beguiled   Sun   17/4   BBC1 @ 23.25

The pupils and staff of an all girls school in the state of Virginia are thrown into turmoil when they come across a wounded Union soldier on the run from the Civil War. Sofia Coppola's hazy drama takes a while to get going but when it does! Robust, disturbing and torrid stuff with a first rate cast that includes Kirsten Dunst, Nicole Kidman, Elle Fanning and Colin Farrell all doing effective work. A heady slice of American gothic.

Return Of The Living Dead   Mon   18/4   Film4 @ 01.20

A strange gas is leaking out of mystery cylinders and it's having a weird effect on those who tampered with it. Oh, and it's also making the dead rise and those dead folks are hungry. FOR BRAINS! Dan O'Bannon's 1984 comedy horror is a joy, a film that's as funny as it is gory. Keep an eye out for genre faces like Linnea Quigley and Clu Galager, enjoy the punk soundtrack and cower when the infamous Tarman hits the screen.

Field Of Dreams   Mon   18/4   TG4 @ 17.00

A man hears a voice in his Iowa cornfield and he feels compelled to do what it says. A beautiful film about risks, standing up for yourself, regrets and getting a rare second chance at doing things right. Even if baseball is lost on you'll adore Field Of Dreams. It's funny, sad, poignant and touching and built on excellent performances. Costner is deadly as always and Amy Madigan, Ray Liotta, Burt Lancaster and James Earl Jones all add class.

Looper   Mon   18/4   Great! Movies @ 22.00

Looper is set in the near future where unwanted people are disposed of by sending them back in time to be killed. All well and good until a killer is faced with an older version of himself. Looper is wicked stuff. Chilling, brutal, intelligent and mind boggling. Joseph Gordon Levitt and Bruce Willis have a hell of a time playing the young/old versions and Emily Blunt does stellar work as a protective mother caught up in it all.

The House On Telegraph Hill   Tues   19/4   Talking Pictures TV @ 11.35

Film noir time. A woman fleeing a concentration camp after WW2 sees a chance at a better life and assumes the identity of a fellow inmate who's died. Living a life built on a myriad of lies is easier said than done though. A slowburning but sinister and intriguing thriller made in a time when post war tensions still ran high and that atmosphere scalds itself into the story. Valentina Cortese and Richard Basehart are both strong in their parts.

Thunder Road   Wed   20/4   Film4 @ Midnight

Jim's a cop and he's having an awful time. Horrible work things have scarred his brain, his mam's just passed away, he's getting divorced and his daughter is troubled by it all. Something has got to give and it's just a matter of time until they do. Writer/director Jim Cummins' debut is a memorable one, a painfully intimate look at a man and a place in crisis mode but there's a surprising amount of humour here too to thankfully leaven the sadness.

King Kong   Thur   21/4   BBC4 @ 22.00

Time for a classic. A film crew head to a strange place called Skull Island to shoot a film and discover a gigantic monster worshipped and feared by the locals who takes a shine to the leading lady. 89 years after it was made King Kong still has the power to amaze, enthrall and terrify. It is an honest to god masterpiece. Fay Wray and Carl Denham do super work as the leads but the star of the show here is the titular character.

The Hustler   Thur   21/4   Talking Pictures TV @ 21.00

Fast Eddie Felson knows his way around a pool table and it's how he makes his living. But he's cocky and it backfires on him hugely. Now he has to start all over again and it's a task easier said than done. Paul Newman is magnetic as the lead of a dark, dank drama from 1960. The support he gets from Piper Laurie, Jackie Gleason and George C. Scott is some of the best acting you'll ever see onscreen.

Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark   Fri   22/4   BBC3 @ 21.00

Stella, Auggie, and Chuck, three friends, are on the run from a bully when they come across a spooky book in a house that it's claimed is haunted. Being silly kids, they ignore all the warning signs and open the book. Big mistake. An entertainingly ghoulish horror film from 2019 that mostly eschews blood and guts for well crafted proper scares that will make you feel nostalgic for a time you probably never lived in.  Zoe Colletti, Gabriel Rush and Austin Zajur are a fun trio.

The Taking Of Pelham 123   Fri   22/4   RTE1 @ 23.15

Four criminals take a subway train hostage in New York City. If their demands aren't met hostages will die. It's up to a transit police lieutenant to sort the mess out. This 1974 film is a masterful thriller. Well paced, humorous, economical, tense, filled with memorable characters and is far superior to the later remake. Walter Matthau and Robert Shaw are brilliant in the lead roles. A film that's well worth staying up for.

As always retweets are much appreciated.

Busy busy tired tired

Serious lack of reviews etc in the last two weeks due to both a new job and sweet fuck all good coming to the cinema (Fantastic Beasts? No) but things will be back on track soon so sound to the four people who read this. 

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30 Day film challenge 2022 edition - Day 30

 

A least favourite film? The Deer Hunter. I hate it. It bores me to tears. I'd rather watch 3 hrs of Eastenders. It's an opinion that pisses people off no end but that's all it is, an opinion. I'm sure it's a great film. But I hate it.

The face of anyone who has to sit through this snoozefest.

16 films on TV this week you might enjoy

The Favourite   Sat   9/4   CH4 @ 21.15

Queen Anne isn't feeling the best lately and her best friend Lady Sarah is secretly making the important decisions to help her save face. But then along comes a servant called Abigail who has plans beyond what society considers her capable of. A quirky, witty and exceedingly cutting look at the slyer sides of human nature and what we'll do to get ahead. Olivia Coleman, Emma Stone and a vicious Rachel Weisz make up a wicked trio.

House Of The Devil   Sat   9/4   The Horror Channel @ 22.55

A young woman is struggling with cash problems as student debts begin to bite so she takes a job as a babysitter. The job is in a remote countryside mansion, the employer is a creepy giant, the person she's taking care of is...well she's different. Ti West's 2009 lo-fi horror is a slowburn one for sure but when it gets it's claws into you eventually it won't let go. That last 20 minutes...whoa. Jocelin Donahue and well known genre names Tom Noonan and Mary Woronov all do good work here.

Perfume : The Story Of A Murderer   Sat   9/4   RTE2 @ 23.30

Jean-Baptiste Grenouille, a French man with a superhuman sense of smell. On his first trip to Paris a desire to experience something new leads to tragedy which leads to a world of obsession. A film that's a feast for the senses led by a character that will absolutely repulse you and one that will wow you and disgust you in equal measure. Ben Whitshaw, Rachel Hurd-Wood and Alan Rickman do arresting work.

The Sons Of Katie Elder   Sun   10/4   ITV4 @ 18.25

Four brothers come together to get some old fashioned revenge after violence strikes their family in a classic western with John Wayne & Dean Martin. A diverting way to spend a couple of hours and a lovely looking technicolor story shot on location in Colorado and Mexico. It just looks EPIC. Plus it's a film that's still influential and still gets homaged to this day.  The ideal Sunday evening movie.

The Last Hard Men   Sun   10/4   Talking Pictures TV @ 22.05

Zach Provo's on the run and he's got revenge in mind. The man who put him in prison is retired rangers Captain Sam Burgade and soon both men are on a collision course for each other. A tough, brutal revisionist western from 1976 that replaces the myth of the outlaw with the horrible realities for those who encounter them. Charlton Heston, Barbara Hershey and James Coburn do effective work.

Out Of Sight   Sun   10/4   BBC2 @ 23.40

A prison escape goes awry when Jack, a prisoner, bumps into Karen, a US Marshall and both become instantly smitten. What chance has a relationship when both parties are at odds with each other? Steven Soderbergh's romance/comedy/drama/thriller is one of the best films of the 1990's. A perfect amalgamation of star power and story. It's a joy. Jennifer Lopez and George Clooney have never been better while Don Cheadle, Steve Zahn and Ving Rhames offer memorable support.

Amanda   Mon   11/4   Film4 @ 01.15

When his sister is killed in a tragedy ripped straight from recent French news, a man finds himself torn apart by sadness but finds some kind of direction when he has to take care of her orphaned daughter Amanda. A French drama that feels a wee bit sloppy and simplistic in places but two beautifully naturalistic performances courtesy of Vincent Lacoste and Isaure Multrier keep things ticking along satisfyingly.

The Adjustment Bureau   Mon   11/4   TG4 @ 21.30

Matt Damon & Emily Blunt headline a twisty turny science fiction/love story about a politician and a dancer who meet just before he gives a speech and are then kept apart by ........ well you're going to have to watch the film and find out aren't you.  An original, suspenseful, fast moving and, most importantly, fun film. It's a rarity these days to see Damon in a film where he isn't kicking a bad lad's head in and Blunt is always worth watching.

Carol   Tue   12/4   Film4 @ 01.20

In 1950's New York, two women of very different social status meet and fall in love. But the social mores of the day are a major barrier to their happiness. A magnificent film that fully deserves the critical acclaim it received. It's a compelling and heartbreaking watch that contains two sublime performances from Cate Blanchett and Rooney Mara. Kyle Chandler as always adds a touch of class too.

Sewers Of Gold   Tues   12/4   Talking Pictures TV @ 13.50

Two members of a fascist paramilitary gang need money for weaponry and decide the only way to raise funds is to rob a bank on the French riviera. To complete the task they hire local criminals who know the area and you can probably guess what happens next. Definitely a film that wouldn't be made these days but an interesting oddity nonetheless with a couple of superb performances from Ian McShane and Warren Clarke propelling the story along nicely.

Xtro   Wed   13/4   The Horror Channel @ 00.50

A man is abducted by a light in the sky. Three years later he returns. Is he the man he once was? Go on, have a guess. A nuts film, the wackiest thing you'll see on TV this week, this month and maybe even this year. It's terrifying, hilarious, nauseating, ingenious, bizarre, grotesque and it's brilliant. If you've seen it watch it again and marvel at it. If you haven't.......I'll say no more. Philip Sayer is a game lead.

Chained For Life   Wed   13/4   Film4 @ 01.25

In an old hospital a film crew prepares to shoot a low budget horror directed by a strange German man who has somehow gathered together an interesting cast headed by an actress far too famous for this little film. An unsettling but smart and ambitious film that messes with perceptions of reality in a way that will have you lapping it up. Jess Weixler and Adam Pearson make for an intriguing central pairing.

Death Wish 3   Thur   14/4   ITV @ 22.05

Thursday night, time for some violence and one of the most enjoyably trashy films of the 80's. New York city is overrun by gangs and Charles Bronson and his ridiculous gun have had enough. But now the elderly citizens of the terrorised streets have had enough too. All out war occurs. It's as subtle as it sounds but it's loads of splattery fun and the main baddie is played by an Irish actor too, Gavin O'Herlihy, who's gurning turn will have you longing for his inevitably gratuitous demise. 

Brokedown Palace   Fri   15/4   Talking Pictures TV @ 01.20

Alice and Darlene, two American students, have found themselves in a spot of bother in Thailand after being tricked by a smooth talking scumbag into smuggling heroin into China. Now both are facing three decades in jail. A well acted cautionary tale from 1999 that is not afraid of softsoaping the horrors of life in prison abroad. Claire Danes and Kate Beckinsdale do decent work and get fine support from Bill Pullman.

Stronger   Fri   15/4   RTE2 @ 21.30

2013. Boston. Two brothers set off bombs at the city marathon and the day becomes a bloody mess. A woman called Erin, who was running at the time, sees it all happen and finds her boyfriend Jeff in the wreckage. A tough watch about the human cost of violence and the resilience needed to come back from it. Powerful acting from Tatiana Maslany & Jake Gyllenhaal will keep you going through the horror.

Cube   Fri   15/4   Film4 @ 23.10

A group of strangers find themselves trapped in a giant cube full of deadly traps and must use their individual skills to both escape and figure out why they were picked. There's shades of Saw there but Cube is more about the ingenuity of the people and the traps than the damage they do. A clever and well crafted sci - fi thriller that was made for a pittance and still manages to wee all over the majority of films with budgets 100 times the size.

Retweets are always appreciated. GRMA.

30 Day film challenge 2022 edition - Day 29

 

A fave remake. The Thing. No question. It's a masterpiece of body horror, proper scares and nailbiting tension. Far superior to the original. It's what happens when a brilliant director (John Carpenter) and a visionary make up artist (Rob Bottin) work together on a very solid story. Characters you give a fuck about in a terrifying situation and trapped with an enemy they can't fight as they don't know who it is. It's magnificent. If you haven't seen it I'm very jealous.

Another formative film experience

A lot of people don't remember that From Dusk Til Dawn was banned in Ireland for 7 years back in the late 90's. A George Clooney film banned. Ridiculous ain't it. Of course it was because of cause célèbre Quentin Tarantino but the official reason given was it's "irresponsible and totally gratuitous" violence coming in the wake of the Dunblane school massacre in Scotland. What vampires have to do with a school shooting is anyone's guess but sure...

Banning a movie made it irresistible of course and in 1997 when I was in first year of college in Waterford a pub called the Old Stand decided to have a film night and show it to draw in the crowds. It was a great idea and a big change from listening to The Prodigy in a melting nightclub but instead of letting the news of it travel through the student grapevine they decided to advertise it in the local newspaper with the tagline "THE MOVIE THEY TRIED TO BAN." Guess what happened next? An Garda Siochana made a quiet visit to the pub and warned them in no uncertain terms that they'd be breaking the law if they showed the film. Breaking the law. A film Irish people could watch on Sky Movies quite legally but play a VHS in a pub and there could be court appearances and fines......

We were all disappointed until little posters started popping up all around the college the following week. It wasn't hard to work them out. A picture of Bela Lugosi's Count Dracula on one half of the poster and the mexican stand off from Reservoir Dogs on the other with a big + symbol in the middle. There was a date and a venue, the Waterford Institute of Technology auditorium. Below is a reasonable facsimile of the image.

Goddamn that was a wild night. Half the crowd stumbling in from the college bar and the rest there to worship at the altar of Tarantino. You'd laugh at him now but back then post Pulp Fiction the man was wildly popular. Add in Clooney at the height of his ER fame and the fact the the film was banned and you had a recipe for a successful screening. The whooping at Salma Hayek as Santanico Pandemonium, the shocked laughter at Cheech Marin's pussy speech and at everything Fred Williamson, Danny Trejo and Tom Savini got up to and the absolute carnage occuring onscreen. Buffy The Vampire Slayer was on season 2 at the time as well and that attracted even more vampire fans but these ones were used to family friendly, BBC2 at 6pm vampires. Not the tearing and ripping and disemboweling ones we had here. I remember sitting there lapping it all up, grinning like a fool. Even then friends I had to convince to come enjoyed it. It's always nice to recommend a film to someone and they enjoy it.

The film hasn't aged well at all. Parts of it are very guilty of the worst of QT's excesses despite the fact that Robert Rodriguez directed it and other parts ( the "mongoloid conversation") will make you want to die. But it gave me a hell of a night and a great memory so I'll always have a soft spot for it.

A new start

Wish me luck!

30 Day film challenge 2022 edition - Day 28

 

A fave movie friendship? Charlie and the gang in the Perks Of Being A Wallflower. Drugs, love, HUGE drama, threats to blind people. Nails the feeling of being part of a friend group just outside the mainstream but nice, warm, all encompassing all the same. Welcome to the island of misfit toys. Plus they all love great music. Like seriously, how often do we get to hear Dexy's Midnight Runners in films? 

16 films on TV this week to get your teeth into

The Rhythm Section   Sat   2/4   Film4 @ 21.00

A tragedy has wrecked Stephanie's life but a journalist investigating the incident that caused it all brings her information that leads her towards both redemption and revenge. An absolute financial disaster during its 2020 release but it's actually a diverting, twisting and quite crunchy thriller that's powered ahead by a blistering performance from Blake Lively, with Sterling K. Brown and Jude Law decent value in support.

Funny Cow   Sat   2/4   TG4 @ 22.40

Funny Cow had a tough life growing up in the coalpit towns of the English North and now she's using that life experience as material for her comedy sets in the working men's clubs of the 1970's. Maxine Peake is sensational in a tough but darkly humorous look at the hardships of breaking into a traditionally male arena, especially in an era where sexism was rampant. The always reliable Paddy Considine and Alun Armstrong back her up generously.

Peterloo   Sat   2/4   RTE1 @ 23.50

Manchester. 1819.  A crowd peacefully assembles to demand voting rights for all. The British government decide to suppress the meeting and make sure future crowds don't get the same ideas. Director Mike Leigh proves once again he's lost none of his righteous anger at the way the common man will always be downtrodden by the people in charge. A tough and upsetting story but an important one. Rory Kinnear and Maxine Peake do excellent work as the leads.

Wyatt Earp   Sun   3/4   Channel 5 @ 14.45

We all know the story of the gunfight at the OK corral but what of the man himself? Kevin Costner's 1994 biopic of the Wild West's most famous lawman tells us all about him, from his teenage years in Iowa to his final years in Los Angeles. It's 195 minutes long but it uses it's running time well, delving into the reality of American myth making. A beautiful film with a cast to match but it's Costner's movie all the way.

Hannibal Brooks   Sun   3/4   RTE1 @ 15.45

Time for a real old time Sunday fave. Stephen Brooks is a British POW sent to work in a Munich zoo during World War II. His work revolves around Lucy the elephant, a job he hates at first but they begin to grow on each other.  Then an idea pops into his head. A pleasant and enjoyable yarn for the family from Michael Winner, a director more known for his Death Wish films. Oliver Reed is an amiable lead and Lucy the Elephant is one cool pachyderm.

Hands Of The Ripper   Sun   3/4   Talking Pictures TV @ 22.05

Little is known about Jack The Ripper but Hammer's 1971 horror asks us what if he'd had a daughter and what if his psychotic traits were passed to her through his genes and what if..... well you can probably guess what happens next. It's one of Hammer's later productions that nicely blends the charm and production values of it's earlier films with the gory violence allowed by the permissive 70's. An atmospheric watch led by a fine turn from Angharad Rees.

Oblivion   Sun   3/4   ITV4 @ 22.30

In a post apocalyptic Earth a lone worker makes a discovery that puts into question everything he thought he knew about what happened to the planet. Ok the plot is a bit wispy but it does things you don't usually see in big movies. Tom Cruise carries the film in style as always and it just looks astounding. The kind of film high definition was made for. Olga Kurylenko & Morgan Freeman do good things in support.

Night Of The Creeps   Mon   4/4   The Horror Channel @ 23.00

An otherworldly encounter in the 50's bleeds into the 80's and has disastrous consequences for the members of a college fraternity and it's new pledges. A film that isn't talked about much these days but it's one of the most entertaining and inventive horror films to crawl of the 1980's, a notoriously terrible time for the genre. It has everything you could ever want from a scary movie and it's hilarious to boot. Plus horror hero Tom Atkins pops up to add to the fun.

Sweet Country   Mon   4/4   Film4 @ 23.50

Sam Kelly's on the run. He's killed a man justifiably but the colour of his skin ensures he'll never stand trial fairly because an Aboriginal man in Australia will always have a target on his back. Based on a true story it's one that will anger you but it's also a lovely character study of a man who's own glorious country has turned toxic all around him. Hamilton Morris is phenomenal in his debut feature film.

Summer Of Sam   Tues   5/4   Great! Movies @ 21.00

New York. Summer of 1977. Tempers are rising due to the heat and a serial killer picking on the young people of the outer boroughs is turning up the paranoia too. Spike Lee's drama/thriller is a gripping look at the lives and loves of an Italian community impacted by the carnage. It's graphic stuff and won't be to the tastes of many but you'll stay watching and a couple of superb leading turns from Mira Sorvino and John Leguizamo are the icing on the cake. The Dancing Queen scene is a moment for the ages.

Filth : The Mary Whitehouse Story   Tues   5/4   BBC4 @ 22.00

Mary Whitehouse. Public enemy number one of horror movie fans in the early 80's as the instigator of the video nasty scare. She was around a lot longer than that though & in the 60's started a campaign against the BBC to get smut off her TV. Julie Walters is unsurprisingly deadly as the harridan that politicians and TV producers took very seriously and somehow turns a person who became a punchline into a quite sympathetic figure. A wacky and watchable example of truth being stranger than fiction.

Stan & Ollie   Wed   6/4   BBC2 @ 21.00

Stan Laurel and Oliver Hardy have reached the twilight of their comedy career together and head across the Atlantic to try and revive their career. It's a trip that stirs up a lot of emotion. It is fantastic, a film for everyone. A universal tale of lifelong friendship and the stresses that can arrive along the way but also a beautifully told slice of cinematic history with Steve Coogan and John C.Reilly playing their parts wonderfully. Nina Arianda as the formidable Ida Laurel nails her part too.

Girls Trip   Wed   6/4   Film4 @ 21.00

Four lifelong friends, the flosse posse, have grown apart over the years but a trip to New Orleans is just the thing to bring them all back together. Tensions though, they're always part and parcel when people know each other too well. Girls Trip is great craic, profane and raunchy of course but full of heart and soul too with a chemistry laden cast consisting of Jada Pinkett Smith, Tiffany Haddish, Queen Latifah and Regina Hall.

A Cure For Wellness   Thur   7/4   CH4 @ 01.05

A young executive working for a bank is sent to a spa in Switzerland to find the company CEO. On the way he has an accident and wakes up in a rather strange place. Gore Verbinski's 2016 horror film is a far cry from the family franchises he's best known for. There's imagery here that will wiggle into your brain and haunt you. It's deranged, often offensive and the most unique film on TV this week. Dane DeHaan and Mia Goth make for interesting leads.

To Die For   Fri   8/4   Talking Pictures TV @ 02.25

Susan wants, nay, needs to be famous. Working hard has got her to the edge of stardom but a bullying husband is jeopardising all of her plans. So she seduces a teenager to kill him. What could go wrong there? Gus Van Sant's satire of the American dream is a mean, cutting film but it's also laced with some delightfully dark wit to take the edge off. Nicole Kidman, Joaquin Phoenix and Matt Dillon lead a cast loaded with recognisable faces.

Schindler's List   Fri   8/4   RTE2 @ 22.00

An egotistical German businessman witnesses the razing of the ghettos of Poland during WW2 and decides he must do something to help the Jewish people being persecuted by German forces. Steven Spielberg's deeply personal World War II drama is an understandably tough experience but it's an important one to rewatch in a time where the unthinkable is happening all over again. Liam Neeson, Ben Kingsley, Embeth Davidtz and a terrifying Ralph Fiennes are all strong here.

Retweets are always appreciated if you find this guide helpful :)