Finally some good news. 40 days to the best place in the world re-opening.
Wait? What? NOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Soon.
April 29, 2021
They giveth and they taketh away
The Marksman
Rule number one of cinema. Never threaten a child. Just don't do it. Things won't end well for you. Rule number two of cinema. Never ever threaten a dog. That's the first ingredient of your demise. Especially if said dog belongs to Liam Neeson and you already know he's a dab hand with a sniper rifle. Then you've no one to blame but yourself for what happens next.
Jim Hanson's existing on the Texas/Mexico border. After his wife's death a few years before he's let his life fall into disrepair and he's about to lose his home to the bank, a fact that doesn't really seem to bother him at all. While driving along the border fence at the edge of his land he almost collides with Rosa (Teresa Ruiz) and Miguel (Jacob Perez), a mother and son on the run from a gang of cartel hitmen led by a killer called Mauricio (Juan Pablo Raba). They plead with Jim for help and he gets caught up in a shootout that sees a gang member being killed by a bullet from ex-marine Jim's weapon. Now he's on the run with a new ward to care for and finally a reason to live again.
There's so little originality in Liam Neeson's latest action thriller you'll wonder why he signed up for it at all. You've seen it all a thousand times before. Trouble along the border? Check. Ornery ol' cuss forced to take a stray under his wing? Check. Evil foreign villain supported by faceless goons? Check. Ornery ol'cuss bonding with stray? Double check. At no point during The Marksman will you not be able to guess what's going to happen next. You could fall asleep at the 20 minute mark and snooze for an hour and easily work out what you'd missed. It feels lazy and pointless and yet....
Neeson. The man can make anything watchable. Even when he's on autopilot, which he very much is here, you'll be glued to him. Hearing Jim talk about his wife while knowing about Neeson losing Natasha Richardson in tragic circumstances gives the film a much needed sliver of depth and helps you empathise with his character. He gives the film a touch of gravitas and it makes his scenes with little Jacob Perez that bit more believable. Perez is a decent young actor who somehow manages to sell a character arc verging on ridiculousness and he fares better than the other cast members especially Katheryn Winnick who's wasted in an absolutely pointless role as Jim's stepdaughter/border agent and Juan Pablo Raba who's Mauricio is nothing but a remorseless killing machine. Only in his final seconds does the film give him any bit of shading but it's far too little too late.
The Marksman is streaming and available on disc now. A solid Neeson turn aside it's really only one for completists.
April 27, 2021
Video Nasty Rewatch part 26 - I Spit On Your Grave
About 40 minutes into I Spit On Your Grave you'll want to pluck your eyes out. It's not just because it's a bad film, it's because you'll feel really bad about yourself for watching it too. The fact that it's somehow spawned a franchise consisting of a remake, two follow ups and a reboot will make you wonder just who these films are aimed at? And how can you avoid the people who call themselves fans?
The seventies saw the birth of the rape revenge genre. Well no, the 70's is when the genre took off due to relaxed censorship laws and studios being more permissive in what they allowed their films to contain. Films from directors like Clint Eastwood, Sam Peckinpah and Michael Winner brought aspects of the genre to the mainstream and it wasn't long before directors started to indulge in their worst excesses with films like Lipstick, Death Weekend and Forced Entry cropping up and shocking audiences. in 1978 Meir Zarchi made and released I Spit On Your Grave and a video nasty was born.
Jennifer Hills (Camille Keaton, cousin of Buster, one for the fact fans) has ventured out of Manhattan and into Connecticut. She's a writer for a magazine but wants to branch out into books and so has rented a holiday home where the peace and quiet will inspire her. That serenity is soon shattered when a group of local men who she met at the store and garage attack and rape her three times before leaving her for dead. She slowly recuperates and puts together a plan and soon enough the Connecticut landscape is splattered red with their blood.
Three times. I mentioned that for a reason. The film spends way more time leering over Jennifer's victimisation than her revenge. For a good 30 minutes she's tortured and violated with the camera poring over her suffering and nudity every chance it gets gets. It's awful stuff. The director said he wanted to show the true appalling violence of the act but it's hard to take him seriously when his camera is zooming in on her genitalia while she screams and sobs. In latter years people have tried to reclaim this as a feminist thriller but I cannot wrap my head around that kind of thinking. It's prurient exploitation and it's no real surprise the BBFC took a genuine dislike for it.
Unsurprisingly it didn't get a cinema release in this part of the world but snuck out on VHS during the unregulated era of the early 80's. During the video nasty furore of 1983-1984 it was prosecuted for obscenity and existed only on pirated video cassettes until 2001 when it was released on DVD with a whopping 7 minutes sliced out of it. In 2020 it hit blu-ray with only 1 minute 41 seconds cut. Cuts described by the BBFC as compulsory, ie if the distributors disagreed the film was going to get banned, it's still that shocking. The Irish censors couldn't deal with it at all and it's been flat out banned here for almost 40 years, with it's last ban being back in 2010. The reasoning for it's ban is here
Did it deserve it's notoriety and it's place on the nasty list? Yup. No doubt. It's an appalling film with a real murky morality about it. A genuinely sleazy and disturbing rape revenge film that's way more interested in one part of itself than the other. Way more.
Next up - Island Of Death. A real oddity.
April 26, 2021
April 24, 2021
17 films on TV this week that you should cram into your eyes
Dark Lies The Island Sat 24/4 RTE1 @ 21.40
The Mannions run the lakeside town of Dromord and they all hate each other. The type of hate that leads to all manner of nefarious going's on. A hate that leads to a dark night of the soul for many of the townspeople. This Irish comedy thriller is as black as they come, scathing, biting, nasty but also in places hilarious. It's not fully successful but it's worth your time. Peter Coonan, Pat Shortt and Tommy Tiernan all nail their parts.
We're The Millers Sat 24/4 ITV2 @ 22.05
David's in a spot of bother. He's being forced to smuggle weed from Mexico and it's a tough call for a man on his own. But if he has a family around him he'll be a lot less conspicuous. So he puts together a plan. A fun film for a Saturday night. Broad, silly, amusing stuff that may offend some but it's heart is always in the right place. Jason Sudekeis, Jennifer Aniston, Emma Roberts and a very game Will Poulter work well together. Stay for the end credits.
The Innocents Sat 24/4 Talking Pictures Tv @ 23.15
When she's hired into the position of governess in a country estate, a woman called Miss Giddens begins to suspect something ghoulish is menacing the children she's supposed to look after so she sets out to protect them. This stylish and intelligent horror is 60 years old and still creepy as hell, evoking the power of suggestion in a brilliantly effective manner. Deborah Kerr and Michael Redgrave do great work.
Saturday Night Fever Sun 25/4 RTE1 @ 00.25
Tony Manero lives for the weekend. On the dance floor he's a god and there he can forget his humdrum Brooklyn existence. Life away from the music is tough though. This 1977 classic is probably a LOT grittier than you remember. The dance sequences still amaze and the music will get you going but it's the depiction of young adult alienation that will rattle you. And quite possibly appall you. John Travolta leads the film with a career making performance.
The Descent Sun 25/4 Film4 @ 00.45
Six women go on a potholing expedition into an underground cavern. Things go arseways. First off, if you are claustrophobic don't even bother with this. You'll be terrified and out of breath before the horror elements of the film even hit. If you are able for it you're in for a treat. A horrifyingly intense treat. Shauna McDonald and Natalie Mendoza are believable leads and Neil Marshall's direction is first class.
Dangerous Liaisons Sun 25/4 BBC2 (not BBC2 NI sorry) @ 22.00
Marquise de Merteuil and the Vicomte de Valmont are rich, decadent and bored. To fill their time they play games and when young Cécile de Volanges catches their eye things get rather complicated. Stephen Frears' 1988 drama is a fine watch, a sensual, complicated, mature drama about rich folk with too much time on their hands that's powered by splendid turns from Glenn Close, John Malkovich, Michelle Pfeiffer and Uma Thurman.
Get Shorty Mon 26/4 Sony Movies @ 01.20
Hollywood's a dark and shifty place and when mobster Chilli Palmer rocks into town to collect a debt he realises he fits right in. So he decides to make himself at home. Barry Sonnenfeld's comedy drama is an absolute joy to watch and it's easily the best utilisation of John Travolta's talents since his 90's career renaissance. The cast also includes Rene Russo, Gene Hackman, Delroy Lindo, Danny Devito and many more and they all bring their A-game.
Babel Mon 26/4 TG4 @ 21.30
Four disparate groups of people are spread across three continents. A stupid mistake reverberates around the globe and ties each and every one of them together when a bullet strikes flesh. Alejandro González Iñárritu's 2006 drama is an impressive piece of work. It's a bit full of itself in places but it's cumulative effect is a stunning one. Cate Blanchett, Brad Pitt, Gael García Bernal and Rinko Kikuchi do well leading a big cast.
Ray & Liz Mon 26/4 Film4 @ 23.20
The Billingham household was a place of extremes - boredom, oppression & emotion wise. Son Ray goes home to the place that made him and looks back at the times that defined him and his family. An unusual, almost experimental watch, that will remind you of just how rancid 80's Britain, suffering under the yoke of Thatcher, was. It's hard going and definitely not for everyone but it's powerful. Ella Smith as Liz is immense.
The Scarlet Claw Tues 27/4 TCM @ 15.00
Tuessday afternoon. Time for a whodunnit. A woman is found in a pool of blood. Supernatural foul play is suspected but none other than Sherlock Holmes thinks something far more down to earth has happened. Basil Rathbone, who played the best version of the famous fictional detective is in fiery form in a Holmes tale not actually written by Arthur Conan Doyle and it's all the better for it. Funny, twisty, atmospheric. A grand afternoon watch
Benjamin Wed 28/4 Film4 @ 01.15
Lack of confidence is killing Benjamin. His first film did well but too much time has passed since. He's doubting himself into the grave. Then he meets Noah. Is he a catalyst for change? You might know Simon Amstell as an annoying music quiz show host but the man has talent and this charming comedy drama directed by him is proof of it. Downbeat, hysterical and led by a couple of super turns from Colin Morgan and Phénix Brossard.
Dial M For Murder Wed 28/4 TCM @ 15.25
When he discovers his wife is being unfaithful a man decides to murder her to inherit her riches. These things never go to plan though. Especially when he underestimates her. One of Alfred Hitchcock's most ingenious & darkly humorous films is one that also manages to overcome it's inherent staginess with clever writing, first rate dialogue and sublime performances. Ray Milland and Grace Kelly are perfectly cast.
Enough Said Thur 29/4 CH4 @ 00.55
Eva is dreading the thought of her daughter going to college but then she meets both an interesting fella and a new friend through work. Little does she know both of them share a past. This is a joy of a film, warm and humorous and filled with characters who feel genuine. Julia Louis Dreyfus and the late James Gandolfini are both mighty and the always reliable Catherine Keener offers lovely back up. Record and keep for when you need a pep in your step.
Pacific Heights Thur 29/4 The Horror Channel @ 21.00
A couple buy a big beautiful house in San Francisco and struggle to pay for it so take in a lodger. It's the worst mistake they will ever make. 30 years later I still twitch when I see Michael Keaton onscreen because of this. It's a nerve-wracking warning about always vetting the people you let into the places you feel the safest. Matthew Modine and Melanie Griffith hit the spot as the home owners but this film is Keaton's by a mile.
Savage Thur 29/4 Film4 @ 23.15
A pair of cops called Wang and Hun live and work under the shadow of Mount Baekdu on the China-North Korea border. A trio of vicious criminals out to rob an armored car ruin their day. This modern day Chinese homage to the Spaghetti westerns of the late 60's is a crunching, suspenseful and relentless affair laced with well shot violent action and likable performances from Chen Chang and Liu Hua.
Sisters Fri 30/4 RTE2 @ 21.30
The home Kate and Maura grew up in is being sold and they are not one bit happy about it. They decide to throw one last party and invite everyone they went to school with 20 years previously. Things get rather wild. An overlong but enjoyable film that builds the action to a fever pitch at the end. The always excellent Amy Poehler and Tina Fey are fun as the sisters and get pleasing support from Maya Rudolph, James Brolin and John Cena.
The Blair Witch Project Fri 30/4 BBC1 @ 23.35
A small camera crew heads into the woods of Maryland to make a documentary about a series of ghostly events that are legendary in the area. They get lost fast. Then the darkness comes. You'd think years of rip offs and spoofs would have dented the effectiveness of this film and you'd be very wrong. It's still fantastically fashioned exercise in terror and less is more. Heather Donahue is a dtrong lead.
As always a retweet is appreciated if this guide points you towards something new you want to see or something old you love.
April 23, 2021
Mortal Kombat
The video game arcades of the early 90's were heady places, a blend of lynx laced sweat, cigarette smoke, acne and cries of "FINISH HIM!" The last of course came from Mortal Kombat, the goriest game in town. Why play Streetfighter II with it's boring hadoukens and dragon punches when you could end a fight by ripping your opponent's spine out or punching them in the mush so hard their head exploded. You knew a fight was won when people gathered around the players to see a bloody fatality occur. Now almost 30 years later we get to experience that vicarious thrill all over again.
Mortal Kombat is being released in US cinemas and online today. In Ireland we'll only get to see it on the small screen for the time being due to covid and it's a pity because it's a film you'll get the most out of watching it with a raucous but appreciative crowd. The laughs and cheers when a heart gets ripped out or when someone gets bisected lengthwise would help hide this film's multitude of sins, sins that stand out glaringly on a TV. But, you know, just because a film is far from perfect, that doesn't mean it can't be fun.
The Outworld is encroaching on the Earthrealm (I don't know either, just go with it) and the evil warlock Shang Tsung (Chin Han) has tasked his henchman Sub-Zero (Joe Taslim) with travelling to Earth to kill the Champions, the only people who can protect it. An MMA fighter named Cole Young (Lewis Tan) is his latest target because Cole is from the same bloodline as Hanzo Hasashi (Hiroyuki Sanada), a Japanese warrior taken down by Sub-Zero hundreds of years before (stay with me). Cole is rescued by a fellow champion called Jax Briggs (Mehcad Brooks) and directed towards his partner Sonya Blade (Jessica McNamee) and a mercenary called Kano (Josh Lawson). Together they travel to the Outworld where they will help Lord Raiden (Tadanobu Asano ), the protector of the Earthrealm, in his battle against Shang Tsung.
It's doesn't make a jot of sense. But look it, it's based on a computer game that's only popular for it's violence. It's a nostalgia fest and on that front it mostly delivers. Purists will moan that the story moves away from the arena based combat the games were based on (Paul W.S. Anderson's 1995 adaption was a lot more faithful in this aspect) but we came to see larger than life characters rip each other to shreds using the moves we all remember and we get it in spades. The earlier film, despite being based on a blood drenched game was saddled with a family friendly PG-13 rating but that doesn't apply here and first time director Simon McQuoid takes full advantage of the R rating (it's gotten a 16 cert here and deserves it) to pile on the crowd-pleasing blood and guts. Limbs snap, fly and shatter, intestines spill and faces splatter. The first 5 or 6 minutes will test your mettle and if you're able for them you'll fly the rest. If you came for the crunch you'll leave pleased. If you came expecting anything else though....
It really is a film for the fans only. If you don't know the lore you'll be lost and the film doesn't make it easy to keep up. In some places the plot is downright incomprehensible. Something happens. Someone appears? Why? Who knows. Oh look his face just got punched off LOL. And so on and so forth. The main characters are barely sketched outlines, others just appear to up the bodycount. To it's credit it's never boring but jesus there's nothing wrong with taking a breather to explain something every now and then. At times it feels like every bit of extraneous tissue has been snipped right out so we can get to the next impaling. Now I know if you're reading this you probably enjoy a good impaling but give us a smidge of something else.
As already mentioned, if you're a fan you'll ignore it's bad points and concentrate on the fun. It's all gamely carried out by a cast who look convincingly mincing femurs and disembowelling their enemies. It's always welcome to see a racially diverse cast like this in a big budget film too and thankfully it's avoided the whitewashing that affected the old adaptions. This and the Fast & Furious films aside it's way too rare an occurrence in American cinema.
Mortal Kombat is streaming online now if you use a VPN. It may get a cinema release later in the year if Covid-19 numbers continue to drop. It will be the best way to experience it.
April 22, 2021
The Father
Anthony's (Anthony Hopkins) a prisoner of his own mind. Dementia has hit and it's taken hold. He can't live alone anymore after a row with his last caretaker and now he's staying with his daughter Anne (Olivia Colman). Everyday, every hour, every minute is a challenge when you don't recognise or remember anymore. A new caretaker has arrived called Laura (Imogen Poots). She seems familiar but he doesn't know why. Anne is moving to Paris soon and he's worried. What's happening to him? Why is it happening to him? How did he get here? Where will he end up?
What's the scariest movie you've seen in the past year or so? Was it Elisabeth Moss being menaced by The Invisible Man? Lonely island shenanigans in The Lighthouse or the housebound horrors of Relic? Maybe it was the truly petrifying final scene of Hunter Hunter that did you in or the creatures of the Russian sci-fi horror Sputnik or a very unhinged Russell Crowe in....er...Unhinged. Or maybe it was a small, intimate tale of an old man losing his mind that did you in. Yup, the big money's on the last one.
The Father is devastating. The kind of watch that will linger with you for days. It's brutal, unforgiving, genuinely frightening. A glimpse into a future many of us are facing, a glimpse into a present that many people are dealing with right now. Imagine watching your hero (if you are fortunate enough), the person who raised you from a pup, on a downhill slide as you stand there unable to help them. It's nature at it's cruelest and it's what makes this such a profoundly upsetting 90 minutes. Director Florian Zeller takes that primal fear that lingers at the back of every mind and let's us see it from it's own point of view. He messes with our sense of time and place. Scenes begin at the end and loop back on themselves. Faces and names flip and spin. What you've been led to believe is nonsense and what you thought you heard didn't happen. It's unnerving and disorientating and that's only for us watching. Imagine having to live it.
It's cleverly done but not in a cutesy way. There's nothing fun remotely happening here. It lets you empathise with Anthony, puts you in his shoes and Hopkin's portrayal of a man being betrayed by his own mind will floor you. Once near the very end, his performance lapses into ACTING but throughout it all feels so real. By turns angry, suspicious, childlike, charming, confused, clinging to his pride for dear life and losing the battle. He's immense. Olivia Colman though, and that face of hers, striving for stoicism and failing, all that turmoil beneath the surface she wants to hide from her Da, it's killing her and the thought of not being able to care for him .... well it's almost too much to bear. It's much less showy than her Oscar winning work on The Favourite and all the better for it. A simple scene of her crossing a courtyard just brims with unspoken anguish.
The Father is streaming online now. It's the best film about the terrors of old age since Michael Haneke's Amour in 2012. I can't think of any higher praise for it. Watch it. But be prepared to hurt after it.
April 21, 2021
That's the stuff
Limerick was looking glorious today.
Look at that canvas. Just waiting for a big action scene to be painted over it. Dublin, Cork and Galway have had their turn. Now it's time for Limerick on the big screen.
How do I start a petition to get the 10th Fast And Furious film to be filmed here? Or a Bond? We'll settle for a Bond film too. Ok, even a Marvel film would be ok I suppose.
Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?
The Oscars - what should win, what will win
Every year people with an interest in cinema say they don't care about the Oscars but every year we keep one eye on it all the same. Just so we can complain when the films we loved don't get awarded of course.
Below are some of the categories and in brackets are what I think will win and should win on this coming Sunday night. Last year i got the vast majority of my picks wrong. Lets see can I do worse this year.
Best Actress
Viola Davis – Ma Rainey's Black Bottom (Will win/Should win)
Andra Day – The United States vs. Billie Holiday
Vanessa Kirby – Pieces of a Woman
Frances McDormand – Nomadland
Carey Mulligan – Promising Young Woman
Best Actor
Riz Ahmed – Sound of Metal (Should win)
Chadwick Boseman – Ma Rainey's Black Bottom
Anthony Hopkins – The Father (Will win)
Gary Oldman – Mank
Steven Yeun – Minari
Best Supporting Actress
Maria Bakalova – Borat Subsequent Moviefilm
Glenn Close – Hillbilly Elegy
Olivia Colman – The Father
Amanda Seyfried – Mank
Youn Yuh-jung – Minari (Should win/Will win)
Best Supporting Actor
Sacha Baron Cohen – The Trial of the Chicago 7
Daniel Kaluuya – Judas and the Black Messiah (Will win)
Leslie Odom Jr. – One Night in Miami...
Paul Raci – Sound of Metal
Lakeith Stanfield – Judas and the Black Messiah (Should win)
Best Director
Thomas Vinterberg – Another Round (Should win)
David Fincher – Mank
Lee Isaac Chung – Minari
Chloé Zhao – Nomadland (Will win)
Emerald Fennell – Promising Young Woman
Best Costume Design
Emma. – Alexandra Byrne
Ma Rainey's Black Bottom – Ann Roth
Mank – Trish Summerville (Will win)
Mulan – Bina Daigeler (Should win)
Pinocchio – Massimo Cantini Parrini
Best Cinematography
Judas and the Black Messiah – Sean Bobbitt
Mank – Erik Messerschmidt (Will win)
News of the World – Dariusz Wolski
Nomadland – Joshua James Richards (Should win)
The Trial of the Chicago 7 – Phedon Papamichael
Best Original Screenplay
Judas and the Black Messiah
Minari (Should win)
Promising Young Woman (Will win)
Sound of Metal
The Trial of the Chicago 7
Best Sound
Greyhound
Mank
News of the World
Soul
Sound of Metal (Should win/Will Win)
Best Production Design
The Father
Ma Rainey's Black Bottom
Mank (Will win)
News of the World (Should win)
Tenet
Best Makeup & Hairstyling
Emma. – Laura Allen, Marese Langan and Claudia Stolze (Should win)
Hillbilly Elegy – Patricia Dehaney, Eryn Krueger Mekash and Matthew W. Mungle
Ma Rainey's Black Bottom – Sergio Lopez-Rivera, Mia Neal and Jamika Wilson
Mank – Colleen LaBaff, Kimberley Spiteri and Gigi Williams (Will win)
Pinocchio – Dalia Colli, Mark Coulier and Francesco Pegoretti
Best Editing
The Father – Yorgos Lamprinos (Should win/Will win)
Nomadland – Chloé Zhao
Promising Young Woman – Frédéric Thoraval
Sound of Metal – Mikkel E.G. Nielsen
The Trial of the Chicago 7 – Alan Baumgarten
Best Adapted Screenplay
Borat Subsequent Moviefilm
The Father
Nomadland
One Night in Miami... (Will win/Should win)
The White Tiger
Best Special Effects
Love and Monsters (Should win)
The Midnight Sky
Mulan (Will win)
The One and Only Ivan
Tenet
Best Animated Film
Onward
Over the Moon
A Shaun the Sheep Movie: Farmageddon
Soul (Will win)
Wolfwalkers (Should win)
Best Foreign Film
Another Round (Denmark) (Will win)
Better Days (Hong Kong)
Collective (Romania)
The Man Who Sold His Skin (Tunisia)
Quo Vadis, Aida? (Bosnia and Herzegovina) (Should win)
Best Film
Judas And The Black Messiah (Should win)
The Father (Will win)
Minari
Nomadland
Sound Of Metal
Mank
Promising Young Woman
The Trial Of The Chicago 7
April 20, 2021
Be Good Or Be Gone
"Prisoner 1701, Prisoner 1864, your request for temporary release has been granted. You have 4 days leave. Now lads...be good. "
They will yeah.
Be Good Or Be Gone is a disagreeable watch that while clocking in at just over 90 minutes feels far longer. There will be comparisons made to Lenny Abrahamson's 2004 drama Adam And Paul but this film isn't a patch on that one, it's doesn't have a sliver of it's soul and at no point in that 17 year old movie does one of it's leads call a woman a cunt before headbutting her. It's a moment, less than a third of the way in that will alienate the vast majority of the audience.
Cousins Ste (Les Martin, who also wrote this) and Weed (Declan Mills) are free. For 4 days anyway. A furlough from Mountjoy is theirs and they want to make the most of it. Weed is addicted to heroin and he's suffering already because it's easier to fix on the inside than out. Ste has other things on his mind, namely his daughter and his girlfriend Dee (Jenny Lee Masterson). Previous endeavours and the tragic events wrought by them have burned his bridges in the community and in the little free time he has he wants to at least try to start a rebuild. It's easier said than done though when the past is waiting for you around every corner.
You'll rarely see a film as tonally messy as this one. Is it a comedy, is it a thriller, is it a gritty urban drama? I don't think it knows itself and so tosses everything in the pot and the end result isn't a tasty one. People get bopped on the head comically with woks, dealers feel like otherworldly beings prone to profundity, others are mad into fashion in a way that surprises everyone they meet, someone else is violently sexually assaulted and carved up with a stanley knife in a brutally jarring moment. Your head will spin watching it and not in a good way. People we're supposed to warm to are wildly unpleasant creations and when you see some of the things they get up to you won't give a damn if they make it to the end credits or not. It makes for a hard film to get behind.
Even the way the main characters interact with each other feels off. Ste and Weed are related but the film never gives us a sense of any connection or chemistry between them. Dee's reactions to Steve never once feel natural, changing from scene to scene and the end of their story feels hugely unearned. As a result we get a boggy middle section that nearly kills the film in it's tracks. It's only a cameo from Graham Earley (of Broken Law and Carbdboard Gangsters) that gives the film any bit of energy at all and even then his part in the film goes from farce to violence with head spinning speed. The film chafes even more when you realise it's disparate parts aren't bad at all. Cathal Nally making his feature film debut, captures his vision in a low key, naturalistic way while Les Martin and Declan Mills put in fine, believable performances. It's just a pity none of it gels.
Be Good Or Be Gone is available to rent on google movies now. It's not a film I can recommend.
April 19, 2021
*weeps*
Look at that. A thing of beauty. A pint of plain and a bag of tayto. They go together like De Niro and Scorsese.
The first sup. Glorious. Like the first time you saw a Kurosawa film.
The second sup. Even better than the first. The pint version of The Godfather Part II
The 3rd gulp. The moment you start thinking about another. You can't. You've come in for one. Your train is soon. You don't have time.
Or do I..... Could I have another? Would I enjoy it if I had to bolt it down though? Oh it's a dilemma and a half. A Sophie's Choice if you will.
It's over. Like the Bond franchise it's time to let go.
Man, I can't wait to torture myself like this again.
April 18, 2021
Gotta love those cliffhangers
Line Of Duty finished on an absolute MOTHERFUCKER of a cliffhanger tonight with the best person in the show facing a bullet when the screen turned to black.
I loved it. We were roaring at the screen. We were roaring when the credits started. A plastic bottle may have flown across the room. The tension was brutal. The thought of waiting another 167 hours for the next episode was cruel.
But it's all part of the buzz of watching a show like this on TV. Imagine if it was on netflix and you could instantly play the next installment. Any tension created during the show wouldn't matter a jot if we could go straight into the next episode. There'd be no bit of buzz. We wouldn't talk about what we'd just seen. We wouldn't be guessing who's behind what and who's about to get wiped out. There'd be no point when we could find out after a couple of hours. We wouldn't really care at all. We'd just robotically consume the next episode without thinking.
Imagine if each series of the big shows we all loved had been released in one fell swoop. Buffy, ER, The Sopranos, Friends. They'd be distant memories. We'd have gone through them like locusts. NOM NOM what's next? You'd never grow to love a character or care about them. Instead of spending weeks and months watching them grow and interact we'd plough through them over a weekend. It's not good. Instant gratification never is. It always leaves you wanting more.
Once a week. It's the best way to go. It's the only good thing about Disney +. They get the power of talk, of anticipation.
Keep em' wanting more.
April 17, 2021
17 films on TV this week to help you keep your head on straight
The Guard Sat 17/4 RTE2 @ 21.45
In darkest Connemara a stubborn, set in his ways policeman finds himself working with the FBI to stop a big drug deal going down. Will their differing styles blend? A wonderfully funny film shot through with a unique Irish sensibility that will have you in tatters laughing one minute and upset the next. Brendan Gleeson is as good as he's even been and Don Cheadle supports him ably. Liam Cunningham is wicked craic as always as the baddie
The Man Who Fell To Earth Sat 17/4 Talking Pictures TV @ 22.50
The tall thin man wandering around New Mexico might look human, but he's not. He's an alien here on a mission to save his dying planet but the many temptations available on earth are getting in the way of his work. Nicolas Roeg's surreal 1976 science fiction drama is a cryptic, confusing, disorientating stunner but it's the outlandish turn from David Bowie as the titular character than really makes it sing.
Westworld Sat 17/4 BBC1 @ Midnight
Westworld's a place where you can live out your wild west fantasies, you can be a hero or a villain and tourists get a taste of both when the artificial intelligence running the park goes faulty. Yes yes it's Jurassic Park with robot cowboys but it did come first. An enjoyable watch that rapidly becomes a scary one courtesy of a demonic Yul Brynner in a rare bad guy role. James Brolin & Richard Benjamin are a fine pair of heroes and keep an eye out for Alan Oppenheimer aka the voice of 80's cartoons.
Jeremiah Johnson Sun 18/4 ITV4 @ 13.55
Jeremiah has had enough of war and wishes to live a solitary existence in the Rocky mountains. During his time there he lives an interesting life. To say the least. The source of one of twitter's most overused gifs, this 1972 western is a very enjoyable watch. All the usual western tropes are at play here but there's also a tenderness sprinkled throughout you don't see very often in the genre. Robert Redford nails the lead.
Rosie Sun 18/4 RTE1 @ 21.30
The Davis family are in big trouble. They're homeless and spend their days in their car trying to sort out accommodation for the night. Their kids are having trouble in school and mam Rosie is feeling helpless. This recent Irish drama is a heartbreaking indictment of the appalling state of modern day Ireland and the disastrous agencies running it. Sarah Greene and Moe Dunford are superb in an upsetting and thought provoking story from Roddy Doyle.
I, Tonya Sun 18/4 BBC2 @ 22.00
Tonya Harding was the talk of the Winter Olympics in 1994. But not because of any medals she won. Oh no, her story was far more complicated than any race to the podium. This sporting autobiography from 2018 is a fantastic watch, as dark and twisted as any crime thriller and based on a true story that will shock you. Margot Robbie is immense as Tonya but it's Allison Janney as her truly vile mother who will stick in your mind for days after.
Death To Smoochy Mon 19/4 Film4 @ 01.10
Rainbow Randolph, kids TV show host extraordinaire has just got the bullet and new host Smoochy takes over. Soon he's a huge success but Randolph just cannot let it lie. I loved this. It's so deliciously dark that at times you'll be staring at the screen appalled while not being able to stop yourself from laughing. Edward Norton and the late and much missed Robin Williams both have a whale of a time in here.
True Romance Mon 19/4 Sony Movies @ 21.00
A love at first sight couple go on the run to Los Angeles with a stolen suitcase in tow and the owners of the suitcase in pursuit. Tony Scott directs Quentin Tarantino's script and the result is one of the most engaging and quotable films of the 90's. Dark, hilarious, brutal stuff with a glorious cast led by Christian Slater & Patricia Arquette with memorable back up from Christopher Walken, Brad Pitt, James Gandolfini and Dennis Hopper.
No Country For Old Men Mon 19/4 TG4 @ 21.30
A man chasing deer finds himself in a world of hurt after he absconds with money found after a drug deal gone wrong. This thriller from the Coen Brothers is a magnificent watch. A gripping tale from the pen of Cormac McCarthy that will have you on the edge of your chair as the hunter becomes the hunted. The cast is first rate too with Josh Brolin, Kelly McDonald, Woody Harrelson, Tommy Lee Jones and Javier Bardem all lashing into meaty roles.
Hit! Tues 20/4 Talking Pictures TV @ 00.40
Heroin from Marseille has killed his daughter and FBI agent Nick Allen is aflame with righteous fury. He builds a team and sets off across the Atlantic for revenge. Yep, it's sounds formulaic as hell but a blaxploitation twist turns this 1973 thriller into something quite a bit different to what you'd expect. It's a little bit too padded in places but committed turns from Richard Pryor and Billy Dee Williams keep it together.
Bad Company Tues 20/4 TCM @ 01.35
Drew and Jake are heading west. The Civil war is in full flow and instead of facing certain death at the hands of the Union they've decided to try their hand at a life of crime out at the frontier. They're young and they haven't a clue how hard things will get. Jeff Bridges and Barry Brown headline this revisionist western that was made in an era where all the myths of the genre were being shattered. It's tough going but it's worth your time.
Nowhere To Run Wed 21/4 Sony Movies @ 21.00
While on the run from a jailbreak, an escaped convict finds himself caring about and getting close with a family under pressure from a developer to sell their land. Jean Claude Van Damme's modern day remake of Shane is an entertaining affair and one that's far more grounded than his usual movies. Rosanna Arquette, Ted Levine and Joss Ackland tackle the acting duties and JCVD kicks ass well. Succession fans will get a kick out of seeing a baby faced Kieran Culkin too.
Role Models Thur 22/4 ITV4 @ 21.00
Wheeler and Danny hate their job and an ill advised attempt to liven things up finds them facing jail or community service. Community service means the Big Brother programme. It's here they meet Augie and Ronnie. Under it's sometimes crude exterior this 2008 comedy is loaded with heart and soul and it's a joy to watch Paul Rudd, Seann William Scott, Christopher Mintz-Plasse and Bobb'e J. Thompson work together.
The Man With The Iron Heart Thur 22/4 BBC4 @ 22.00
Two young Czech men are about to carry out one of the most audacious plans of World War II. The assassination of Reinhard Heydrich, the man behind the nazi final solution. It's a suicide mission. They know it. But it must happen. This has an excellent first hour and a formulaic second but it's an important history lesson nonetheless. Jack O'Connell and Ireland's own Jack Reynor play the heroes and Jason Clarke's Heydrich is someone you'll want to see die painfully.
An Unsuitable Job For A Woman Fri 23/4 Film4 @ 01.50
Her former boss is dead, his son has passed away too in suspicious circumstances and Cordelia Grey is troubled by it all. So she uses her detecting skills to figure out what exactly happened. An interesting look into the darker side of the lives of the prim and proper English country set. Adapted from a P.D. James novel this is buoyed by a few great turns from Pippa Guard, Paul Freeman and the always watchable Billie Whitelaw.
The Girl In The Spider's Web Fri 23/4 Film4 @ 21.00
Lisbeth Salander's back and once again she's punishing the evil men of Sweden. This time she's on the hunt for a piece of software that powerful forces do not want released into the wild. A belated follow up to the Millennium trilogy it may be but it's still an energetic watch and it is always satisfying seeing scumbags getting the justice they deserve. Claire Foy, LaKeith Stanfiend and Sverrir Gudnason do well as the leads.
Sicario Fri 23/4 Virgin Media One @ 21.00
The US/Mexico border is a dangerous and morally murky place to work, as FBI agent Kate Macer finds out when she'd co-opted into an inter agency task force and dropped in at the deep end. Denis Villeneuve's 2015 thriller is a cracker, tense, hideous, darkly funny and layered with multiple shades of gray. Emily Blunt is a compelling lead and gets deadly support from Josh Brolin, Jon Bernthal and especially Benicio De Toro.
As always, a retweet is always welcome. Thank you.
April 16, 2021
Nobody
Five men loom over a lone woman on a bus. All she wants to do is sip her coke and get home safely but these pricks are drunk and looking for trouble. If you were sitting on the bus what would you do? Would you get up and walk out? Or would you smile and relish the opportunity to kick some heads in? It's a decision that may have life changing repercussions. It certainly does for Hutch (Bob Odenkirk).
He's a man who lives a life of mind numbing routine. Up, coffee, out, work, sleep next to Becca (Connie Nielsen), forget to put out the bins, up, coffee, out, work and so on. To say he's stuck in a rut is an understatement. His wife barely acknowledges him, his son Blake is openly contemptuous of him. The only source of light in his life is his daughter Sammy, who hasn't learned to hate him yet. A break in one night rattles him and an attempt to let off some steam brings him to the notice of the Russian mob. Little do they know about his life pre-suburban hell.
About 40 minutes into Nobody an injured man lying in a hospital bed gets a waiting room chair thrown at his head. Your reaction to this act of violence will be an indication of how you'll enjoy the rest of the film. Laugh and you'll enjoy yourself, squirm and you might be in a spot of bother. Because Nobody is an exceedingly violent film, not in that John Wick stylized way, more in a oh sweet jesus that hurt me just looking at it kind of way. The oddest thing of all is how comfortable Bob Odenkirk looks in the middle of it. If you aren't familiar with the actor you'd assume he's been making action films all his life. If you know him from Better Call Saul and his comedic work you'll be amazed by how convincing he looks and feels in that part.
Older actors delving into action roles has become a common thing in the last decade. Costner and Travolta have tried and failed to get in on the act, Liam Neeson has built a whole new persona doing it and now we have Bob Odenkirk, bad motherfucker, as believable running after a bin truck in his pyjamas as he is mowing down a vault full of Russian mafia heavies with an uzi in each hand. Nobody will remind you of Neeson's Taken without a doubt; a man with a violent past and a very specific set of skills using them to protect his family but it's far more enjoyable. Gone are the po-faced antics and in their place a knowing streak of humour and a great sense of just how ridiculous it all is. It's a mid life crisis fantasy and it knows it.
It's only 90 minutes long too, it doesn't mess around, economically painting the drudgery of Hutch's life in a 2 minute montage before taking a machine gun to his existence. Unfortunately it means the other characters in his life get short shrift. Connie Nielsen as Becca is totally wasted in a part that consists of hiding and reminding Hutch to take out the bin. Michael Ironside as his boss seemingly appears so that genre film fans can say "oh there's Michael Ironside." RZA as Hutch's half brother Harry gets 5 cynical minutes at the end and merely exists to help set up a franchise. Only Christopher Lloyd as Poppa Hutch gets to really join in the fun as a retirement home resident with a seriously itchy trigger finger. Other things get short shrift too. Early scenes riff on themes of masculinity, what it means to be a man, what would a real man do, before vaporising any depth in a hail of gunfire.
Nobody is streaming online now. It's exceedingly silly, violent and funny. Don't expect anything beyond surface pleasures from it though.
Another unsung hero of Film and TV - Glenn Plummer
Greatest hits
King Of The Hill - Tyrone Debray. A young black star in a almost exclusively white world of Baseball. A great part in a really underrated film.
Menace II Society - Pernell. A small but memorable part in one of the most vicious films of the 90's.
Speed - Maurice, the Jag dude. Picked the worst possible day to go for a ride in his new car.
Strange Days - Jeriko One. The rapper who's murder by cops sets the whole labyrinthine plot in motion. A powerful part in a superb film that never got it's due.
Strange Days - Jeriko One. The rapper who's murder by cops sets the whole labyrinthine plot in motion. A powerful part in a superb film that never got it's due.
The Corner - George ‘Blue’ Epps. A real life addict on the streets of Baltimore who managed to escape the life and stay out. The inspiration for Bubbles from The Wire. A career best turn.
ER - Timmy. Desk clerk extraordinaire. Keeps the whole department running and never breaks a sweat. Leaves halfway through season 1 and turns up again 12 years later with no explanation. A cool cat.
Previous Heroes
Mike Starr
M.C. Gainey
Mare Winningham
Dale Dickey
Vondie Curtis-Hall
Harris Yulin
Pepe Serna
Udo Kier
Fairuza Balk
Ernie Hudson
Lin Shaye
James Remar
Cloris Leachman
James Hong
David Strathairn
Frankie Faison
Conchata Ferrell
Dick Miller
Veronica Cartwright
Edie McClurg
Barry Shabaka Henley
Raymond Cruz
Reg E.Cathey
Elizabeth McGovern
John Amos
Bruce Greenwood
Mary McDonnell
Gerald McSorley
John Rothman
Margo Martindale
Kurtwood Smith
Paula Malcolmson
Luis Guzman
David Morse
Linda Hunt
Keith David
Zeljko Ivanek
Fiona Shaw
Xander Berkeley
Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa
C.C.H Pounder
William Forsythe
Beth Grant
Sven-Ole Thorsen
Regina King
Ric Young
Mark Rolston
Illeana Douglas
Jeanette Goldstein
Al Leong
Allan Graf
Bill Nunn
Thomas Rosales Jr
April 14, 2021
Video Nasty Rewatch part 25 - The House On The Edge Of The Park
Number 25 on the DPP hit list is a film that will leave you feeling bad about yourself when it's over. It's an exceedingly sleazy watch that still feels transgressive 40 years after it's release. It's no real surprise that it was instantly banned from cinema release in the UK in 1981 and so of course the uncut VHS later released into the unregulated video market was always going to be targeted during the video nasty crackdown of 1983. 29 years later it came to DVD and that release was shorn of almost 12 minutes before it was considered suitable for public consumption. It's testament to director Ruggero Deodato's ability to shock and disgust that it's latest release is still missing 43 seconds. It's safe to say this is one film that will never be released uncut in this part of the world. Legally at least. What's so bad about about it anyway? Oh man, where do you start...
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| Lorraine De Selle, another Cannibal Ferox alumnus |
It all feels so warped from the very first scene where a sleazebag called Alex (played with slavering relish by David Hess, star of video nasty number 28, The Last House On The Left) rapes and murders a woman driving home at night. The camera dwells on the act from beginning to end and it's here you'll start to get the ick. An ick which builds massively as the film moves forward and all manner of sexual violation takes place. Alex and his dopey friend Ricky (Giovanni Lombardo Radice, star of previous nasties Cannibal Ferox and Cannibal Apocalypse) worm their way into a party and proceed to rape and assault every woman there while the others stand around doing nothing to help.
It gets so ugly and disgusting it feels like Deodato was trying to channel the works of the Marquis De Sade and this feeling really comes to a head during a lingering, close up torture of a naked woman with Alex's straight razor. This scene, even minus 43 seconds of cuts still feels absolutely shocking as Deodato's camera leers over it all. It's annoying because there's the bones of a decent story here. One that doesn't need all the shock to work. After a few minutes at the party Alex realises him and Ricky are mere playthings to the rich folk around them and it sets up an interesting class divide story that's then instantly ignored in favour of sexual violence.
Come the end of the story we find out Alex was lured to the party so the others could get revenge for the rape and murder that opened the film and it's here there's big similarities with other nasties like Last House On the Left and I Spit On Your Grave. Unfortunately just like I Spit On Your Grave the film spends way more time on the atrocities committed throughout than on the revenge part of the story meaning the revenge feels muted and silly compared to everything else and any impact is ruined by Hess's hilariously hammy reaction to it all. The scene where he's shot in the balls will give you the only laugh you'll get during the 93 minutes this film lasts.
It's hard to credit that Ruggero Deodato released this and Cannibal Holocaust in the same year. That must be some kind of nihilistic record. This one isn't a patch on CH though. It's all shock and sensation obscuring an entirely lacking story, whereas CH had substance to go along with it's carnage.
Does The House On The Edge Of The Park deserve it's nasty status? Yes. Without a doubt.
Is it any good? Nope.
Next up - I Spit On Your Grave. Good jesus. TBH, the next 4 are gruelling.
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