The opening 30 seconds of the 31st video nasty on the DPP 39 list is a shaking shot of the title card in which you can see the camera man and director's reflection. It's shoddy, unintentionally hilarious and definitely sets the tone for what's the come.
There's a bad man stalking the bars of New Orleans and he's ritually slaughtering the prostitutes he finds within. Their hearts are removed and offered up to his ancient god and his plan is to sacrifice three together during Mardi Gras to bring his evil plan to fruition. What's his plan? Who knows? Who cares? Well actually the cops do and when one cop falls for one of the killer's would be victims he gets personally involved. Will N'awlin's finest scupper his nefarious scheme? Will the ladies of Bourbon street ever feel safe again??? Will someone call someone else cher?
God this was dreadful but at least you could laugh at it. Actually, you'd howl laughing at it. Every aspect of it is inept. The "acting", the funky disco soundtrack that makes every scene feel like a preamble to hardcore porn, the same three sets used over and over again. It's so shoddy it's almost endearing. Originality ain't it's strong point either seeing as it's very similar to another nasty on the list, the infamous Blood Feast. That one too had a lunatic kidnapping pretty ladies and harvesting their organs to offer up to an archaic deity but there it was a Smörgåsbord of entrails. Here it's a heart and we get to experience three increasingly boring variations on the same murder throughout the mercifully short running time. Director Jack Weis found a gore effect that he thought worked (it doesn't) and he was going to get his money's worth out of it.
It was this effect that got Mardi Gras Massacre an X rating in the US on it's initial release in 1978 and landed it on the video nasties list in the UK in 1983. The BBFC under the iron fist of James Ferman really were not fans of hearts being cut out of chests (Steven Spielberg's Temple Of Doom had a similar scene snipped in 1984) but the big issue here was they were being cut out of stark naked ladies and as we know from so many other nasties that the ol' sex n' violence combo really got on the censor's nerves. Now you'll watch it and laugh because it seems almost quaint but back then....well it's no surprise at all it got banned.
What is surprising is that it's still banned. Technically at least. The Goldstar label VHS was placed on the DPP list in late 1983 and 38 years later it's still never been resubmitted to the BBFC for classification. I've no doubt it would be passed uncut these days and it might even squeak a 15 cert but it's unavailability works to it's advantage too. Because it's hard to find it lends it a certain cache, it feels a bit taboo. It's still shit mind you. But it's so bad it's funny shit at least.
Did it deserve to be a nasty? Not a chance but i can understand why it happened.
Would I recommend it? Yeah, maybe, as a curio to laugh at.
Next up - Nightmares In A Damaged Brain. One of the best of the bunch, a genuinely effective and unsettling watch.
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