Uncharted

"Nuns, why does it always have to be nuns?" A line that instantly evokes a similar one at the start of Raiders Of The Lost Ark when Indy finds a snake in the plane whisking him away from danger. Uncharted, the new film from Ruben Fleischer is based on a series of Playstation games that took a lot of inspiration from the Indiana Jones franchise so it's no surprise the film adaption is tipping it's hat towards Spielberg's movies. Does it deserve to be named alongside those films though?

Films based on computer games tend to fall into two categories. Absolute crap or forgettable fun. Super Mario Bros? Crap. Tomb Raider? Forgettable fun. Assassin's Creed? Crap. Rampage? Forgettable fun. Far Cry & Max Payne? Craaaaaaaaap. Doom & Monster Hunter..... you can see where this is going. There's just something about the brilliance computer games are capable of that hasn't yet translated across to the silver screen. Happily Uncharted falls into the forgettable fun side. Tom Holland is a likable, wisecracking lead, maybe a bit too young as the Nathan Drake we all know and love but seeing as this is being called a prequel to the games it's forgivable. He's not just Spider-man without a suit either, he's wearier, a little bit more beatdown and cynical. Mark Wahlberg as Sully though. He's definitely not the mentor we loved from the games. There's a mean edge to him, there's no chemistry between him and Nathan as a result and once again he's mumbling through his lines in that monotone way he's far too often guilty of. The story though, is very Uncharted.

Nathan Drake, NYC bartender, charmer, wannabe explorer and sometimes thief has caught the eye of treasure hunter Victor Sullivan who needs his skills to get his hands on an ancient Spanish golden cross, one of two (two crosses, double crosses?? HMMMM) that he'll use in his search for the gold collected by the crew of the Magellan voyage during their 16th century expedition around the world. The other people looking for the treasure are Chloe Hunter (Sophia Ali, underused here but definitely a placeholder role for sequels), another treasure hunter from the games who's had dealings with Sully in the past and Santiago Moncada (Antonio Banderas, pointless casting, he literally does nothing), a businessman descended from the financial backers of the Magellan expedition. The three experienced hands are in it for the gold but Nathan has a more personal reason for joining in, one connected to his family past.

As with all video game adaptions you'll get a lot more from the film if you've played the games. That bruising aerial opening scene is taken directly from the third game and mirrors the franchise propensity for starting with a flashforward. A puzzle solving, booby trap dodging sojourn beneath a Barcelona church is a fine recreation of the game's many riddles and the climax is so perfectly UNCHARTED ( the little climbing bit will raise many a smile) that you'll assume it came from an unused idea from the game creators. Flying galleons, underwater chambers, gold by the tonne, whizzing cannonballs, hulking henchmen and swordfights. The massive bodycount from the games has been toned down in these scenes unsurprisingly and the supernatural aspects have been totally ignored thankfully as they never really sat well with the rest of the story. It's all very family friendly, minimal swearing, nothing bloody. It's missing that edge that made the Indy films perennial favourites. Climax aside it's missing the wow factor that made the games so wildly popular. With four games (and spin-offs) jam packed with outrageous set-pieces to choose from this could and should have been a lot more exciting. You'll have fun with it no doubt, but in a week's time you'll remember very little at all. Hopefully the inevitable sequel will step things up a lot.

Uncharted is out in cinemas now. It's good looking, forgettable fun. 

Oh, btw, keep an eye out for a familiar sounding beach cameo.