Booksmart

Two nerds decide to join their fellow students who they've avoided their entire school going life for one final night of debauchery before they part ways and head off on their post high school life. Michael Cera and Jonah Hill are great fun in Superba...........err, no, hold tough for a minute. I can't be talking about Superbad. That was 12 years ago. I'm actually talking about Booksmart, a film a lot of people are calling a female take on Superbad. It's superficially similar alright but where that film had crudity by the bucketload this one has heart instead.

And some crudity.

Amy (Kaitlyn Dever) and Molly (Beanie Feldstein) are two teenage girls on the verge of escaping from the hellpit that is a U.S. high school. Molly is on her way to Harvard and Amy is heading to Botswana for some volunteering. To get to where they've wanted to be in life they've given up a lot and Molly realises her and Amy need to experience some fun to loosen themselves up before real life beckons. Using Amy's crush on another girl called Ryan as an excuse, Molly decides they need to take in one big student party but now their problem is actually finding one. Chaos ensues.

Booksmart is after riding in on a huge wave of hype. Everyone is gushing about it and that does tend to make a person wary because very few films ever live up to that kind of talk. For the first third of Booksmart i assumed this was going to be the case again but then a bad trip during a mystery party (all will become clear as you watch) and the ensuing shuffle made me laugh so much that everything just clicked into place and gradually Booksmart became my comedy of the year so far. It's flat out hilarious in places and manages to do it in a forward thinking way that never gets in the way of the laughs. It's inclusive and it's progressive but it's never once smug or "look at me" about it. The people in it just are what they are and that's just lovely.

The best comedies are the ones that give you someone to give a shit about. Without that characters are just vehicles for punchlines. Booksmart gives us Amy and Molly. Two leads who feel like real people. We all know someone like them, some of us are like them and most of us have experienced the type of friendship they have. That closeness that feels almost toxic meaning when it goes south it goes south fast. There's an argument in the latter half of the film that feels almost as violent as a fist fight and it's horrible to watch. It's here you realise how invested in the film you are and that's down to some excellent work from Beanie Feldstein (so good in Lady Bird) and Kaitlyn Dever. It's brilliant when movie pals feel like real pals. Their little in-jokes, silly dances and conversations about teddy wanking and mistaken orifices (again, all will become clear). They're a pair you just want to spend time with. Adventures aside I'd have happily listened to them talk nonsense for the whole film. 

It's not just them though. The lovingly drawn background characters, all clearly defined, each with their own probles, all add to the stew. Teenage life is hard. Some have it figured out but most don't, and most struggle with it all. First time director Olivia Wilde captures that struggle to find yourself perfectly and does it in such a confident way that it's hard to believe this is her debut movie. Things that spring to mind - an exhilarating jump into a pool, a bizarre sojourn in a pizza delivery car that pays off perfectly late in the film and a one take argument that kills a party in it's tracks. All this and it manages to make an extremely overplayed Alanis Morrisette song seem fresh and exciting again. Score. The only weak link is the continued jamming in of a character played by Billie Lourd aka Carrie Fisher jr. In an already packed film she's one character too far and she adds nothing. To paraphrase another great teenage film, Mean Girls, she's like fetch - "stop trying to make her happen."

I really really liked this. It's a film people will go back to again and again. It's rhythms of teenage life feel genuine and manage to shake life back into hoary tropes that felt ancient years ago. You'll laugh at pretentious pronunciations of Spanish cities, you'll squirm at the sound of vigorous and pornographic pleasuring and you'll get dust in your eyes at awkward goodbyes. Best of all you won't want it to be over. That's a rare thing with a movie.

The Perfection

Netflix's new film The Perfection was produced and released by Miramax pictures, a studio co-founded by the infamous scumbag Harvey Weinstein. I hope someday he watches this film all alone in his house in the hills and it makes him shudder. Then I hope he........no, watch the film instead. See how it all ends up. It would be great if life imitated art this time around.

Charlotte (Allison Williams) was a cellist with an otherworldly gift for her instrument until a family illness forced her to give it all up. Years later she gets a chance to return the the world she once thrived in and finds out that another woman, Lizzie (Logan Browning), has taken her place in the eyes of her teacher Anton. Charlotte and Lizzie, nonetheless become fast friends and the aftermath of a heavy night out changes everything for both of them forever.

Whoa, Sometimes you go into a film expecting one thing and what you get is so radically different that it leaves you rattled. I walked into this one expecting 90 minutes of backstabbing and musical rivalry but ended up with a mish mash of amputation, bugs, terrible tradition, vomit, graphic gore, male privilege and how it ruins lives, bus rides from hell and enough darkness to block out any amount of May sunlight. It's a film best watched cold but jesus there's stuff in here that would trigger the strongest of minds. It's like the love child of Park Chan-Wook and Brian De Palma with a healthy dose of Pascal Laugier lobbed in to mix things up. It's warped and it's genuinely unpleasant in places, but I gotta say I enjoyed it. No, scratch that, enjoyed isn't a word I could use here. It grabbed me and wouldn't let go.

It feels like a film where the hideous final shot was the first thing envisioned and the rest of the story was reverse engineered from there. Revelations pile on top of revelations. Events are rewound and watched from different angles. Double crosses become triple crosses. Events are vague before becoming glaringly obvious. Moments of maddening stupidity untangle to make some kind of sense..........sense. Ya, sense. TBH, if you start to think too much about The Perfection it does rapidly fall apart. Big, horrible things happen to people that don't really need to happen. In the real world people do this thing called talking. It works sometimes. It helps us avoid drugs and very sharp implements. But it's not very cinematic I suppose. And really, if they characters here were able to talk, us, the viewers would miss out on a lot of madness. Silliness is easy to forgive when you're staring at a TV screen with your jaw on the floor.

Allison Williams played Marnie Michaels for 6 years on HBO's hit series 'Girls'. There were 62 episodes and during each of them you wanted her to be hit by a flaming truck but here she untaps a hidden reservoir of sympathy that only becomes clear as the film progresses and you start to fear for her. She's pretty great in the part and displays a depth of talent that her big roles in Girls and Get On never hinted at. Logan Browning as Lizzie gets the less showy role but her big bus bound moment is the kind of thing that would put the fear of god in you, especially if you're prone to a spot of intestinal bother. They work well together, crazy chemistry at first before it all turns into something totally different.

The Perfection is a film about sticking together. It's a film tearing apart old traditions.  It's a film that's going to gain a large cult following over the next few years. Even if you don't like it (and many won't) it's an interesting and timely watch.

Rocketman

"I started acting like a cunt back in 1975....and I just forgot to stop." A line spoken late in Rocketman that explains a lot of the behaviour we've just seen over the last 100 mins. It's one line filled with more truth than the entire film of Bohemian Rhapsody, the movie this will be most compared with. This is so much better too btw.

Elton Hercules John (Taron Egerton) was born Reginald Kenneth Dwight in 1947. As a young boy he took to the piano like a fish to water despite his mother not caring and his absentee father showing him not a jot of affection. As he got older he took on music as a career and a singer/songwriter partnership with a man called Bernie Taupin (Jamie Bell) sent him into the stratosphere. But being at the top is hard when you're a man craving love and filling the void it's absence leaves with a stew of pills & liquor.

This was really enjoyable. A surreal, cheesy, bizarre, imaginative, funny, sad & exhilarating take on the life of one of rock & roll's most outrageous figures. It's a musical with a lovely experimental edge that has the balls to tell it's story without smoothing off the NSFW edges. Elton John was a gay man with a love for cocaine and director Dexter Fletcher doesn't shy away from either aspect of his life. Amazingly it's taken until 2019 for a gay sex scene to appear in a film from a major American studio. I can't imagine anyone expected a pairing of Eggsy from Kingsman and Robb Stark from Game of Thrones to be the ones to break through that barrier but this is the film that does it.

Sex & drugs aside it's a pretty straight forward autobiography but it's all done with so much energy that there'll be times you'll find it hard to contain yourself in your chair. Famous songs are used in ways you'd never expect, sometimes even sang by other people in moments that give the lyrics other meanings and contexts and make you realise just how universal they are. But the best musical moments are when the man himself is lashing out the tunes. The first airings of Your Song, Saturday Night's Alright For Fighting and especially Crocodile Rock are hair raisingly good. In a nice touch Taron Egerton's own voice is used instead of Elton John's. He gets close enough to the original to keep the songs familiar but adds enough of himself to stop it being a carbon copy.

Singing skills aside he's great in the part. A broken man just looking for a hug. Us music lovers win but the psychic damage done to a child by uncaring parents is hard to watch and Egerton plays it just right. The happy clown. The consummate showman on the outside and a miserable soul within. It's a good enough showing to remove all memory of his last film (the execrable Robin Hood) from your memory. Jamie Bell as Bernie Taupin is always dependable and an almost unrecognisable Bryce Dallas Howard does good wagon as a mammy who never quite connected with her son. Richard Madden plays Elton's manager John Reid as a hateful, nasty bastard and makes a far better showing of it than Aidan Gillen did in Bo Rhap. There isn't a weak link here. Well in the acting anyway.

I really enjoyed this but it's not all perfect, things rarely are. A drink and drug fuelled middle section does hang around too long and goes over certain ground repeatedly to the detriment of other important moment's in EJ's life. Bell's Taupin disappears for a large chunk of the film and things start getting a bit self indulgent and wallowy but there's never a big musical piece too far away thankfully. All in all though it's a biopic done properly. Never boring and always imaginative. Taron Egerton is fantastic in the lead role. It's well worth a watch. You'll be surprised how many songs you recognise too.

10 films on TV this week worth watching.

A Walk Among The Tombstones   Sat   25/5   RTE2 @ 21.25

Matt Scudder is an ex NYPD cop turned private eye who's world takes a black turn when he's hired by a drug dealer to find out who killed his wife. This is a lurid and queasy watch, far from the action movies Liam Neeson has become known for in this latter part of his career. It's good though and it's depiction of the darker side of NYC is gripping. Dan Stevens, David Harbour and Boyld Holbrook all put in a grand shift.

Magic Mike   Sat   25/5   TG4 @ 22.10

Mike has big plans but a combination financial difficulties, his job as a stripper and a cocky new co-worker combine to put his future dreams in doubt. Steven Soderbergh's 2012 drama looks like fluff on the surface but it's actually a genuinely affecting look at problems faced by everyone. A superb cast carries it all off with aplomb but the standouts are Channing Tatum and a scene stealing Matthew McConaughey.

Morgan   Sat   25/5   Film4 @ 23.05

Morgan is a genetically engineered woman. Lee is the risk specialist who's going to decide if Morgan gets to live or die. Morgan doesn't like having choices made on her behalf. A compelling slice of science fiction that does get rather silly and OTT near the end but it's intriguing premise will keep you watching until the end. Fine showings from Ana Taylor-Joy,Rose Leslie and Kate Mara will keep it mostly grounded.

West Side Story   Sun   26/5   BBC2 @ 16.35

Maria and Tony are two New York city teenagers who fall in love. There's a problem though. Both are connected to rival gangs. It won't end well. This 1961 updating of Shakespeare's Romeo & Juliet is a masterpiece of musical cinema. Even of you haven't seen it before you'll know the songs and how it all ends but that won't take away from the joy of watching it. Natalie Wood & Richard Beymer are excellent leads.

Arrival   Sun   26/5   CH4 @ 21.00

The planet has been invaded by huge alien ships and a professor of language called Louise Banks is sent out to try to understand them. This film is fantastic. A look at the science of communication and the highs and lows of the human experience. Don't go in expecting Independence Day style fireworks. You won't get them here. You will get something special though. Amy Adams & Jeremy Renner are both great.

Locke   Mon   27/5   TG4 @ 21.30

On the eve of a momentous job challenge a man receives a phone call that makes everything else pale into insignificance. Your enjoyment of this film will very much depend on whether you like Tom Hardy because the entire film is him in a car by himself for 85 minutes but there's no denying he is outstanding in this economical and nail biting race against time thriller.

The Guest   Tues   28/5   Film4 @ 01.05

A family is totally changed when a war veteran claiming to have been a friend of their dead son turns up at the door and wiggles his way into their life. A very entertaining and knowing homage to the action films and home invasion thrillers of the 90's with a little splash of horror thrown in for good measure.  Funny, nasty and totally absurd. A very enjoyable way to spend 2 hrs. Maika Monroe and Dan Stevens are both deadly.

Ravenous   Wed   29/5   The Horror Channel @ 00.45

In the 19th century a frostbitten stranger turns up at an army fort claiming to be the only survivor of a wagon train that got lost in the mountains. Antonia Bird's darkly comic horror thriller is a ferociously entertaining watch but it might be too much for some. There's a cracking cast too. Robert Carlyle as the stranger is brilliant and Guy Pearce, Jeremy Davies and John Spencer are all on first rate form.

Grandma   Thur   30/5   Film4 @ 23.00

A teenage girl called Sage finds herself in bother and the only person she can turn to is her granny Elle. Family issues make it all very awkward though as they try to raise the money Sage needs. This starts off light and funny before leaving you shaken and dazed. Lily Tomlin as Elle is amazing in the part and gets to display the kind of range that most actors can only dream of. A heartfelt and very topical watch.

The Boxer   Fri   31/5   RTE2 @ 22.30

Danny Flynn returns to a very divided Belfast after a long time away and sets about rebuilding his life and his community. Sectarian hatred doesn't like change though. Jim Sheridan's drama is dark, grim stuff and a damning indictment of the troubles and the pointless chaos caused by it all. Daniel Day Lewis as always is immense and here he gets exceptional support from Emily Watson and a detestable Gerard McSorley.

Game Of Thrones S08E06 - The Iron Throne

Tyrion is marching through the remains of King's Landing. It looks like a nuclear bomb went off. Charred corpses and rubble litter the landscape. It's a hellish scene and the pain it's causing him is written across his face. He's also haunted by the fact that what was left of his family is lying dead beneath the Red Keep.

Along side him marches Jon Snow and Ser Davos Seaworth. Both are horrified that the queen they chose to follow was capable of such wanton destruction. They come across Greyworm and the Unsullied indulging in summary executions of the King's Guard survivors. Jon tries to stop the violence to no avail.

Bravely climbing into the ruins of the Red Keep is Tyrion and eventually he finds what he was looking for. The bodies of his brother Jaime and his sister Cersei. Crushed beneath the rubble in an embrace. As close in death as they were in life. It's a brutal moment as we watch poor Tyrion collapse in sadness.

On the edge of the city Arya is searching for Jon and finds him among Daenerys' army. Her surviving Dothraki and Unsullied are waiting for her to return to claim her Throne while Jon is dreading the prospect of seeing her again. As if on cue Drogon swoops down from the clouds and a victorious Daenerys Targaryen appears.

The hypocritical yoke then proceeds to speak about how she will continue her mission to free all the slaves of Westeros from her position as it's new leader. If she cares so much about the common folk then why did she kill so many of them. She's a broken person capable of seeing the atrocity she dealt out as nothing to worry about.

As her speech finishes a weary and broken Tyrion steps into her line of sight and turns his back on her. He'll no longer be her right hand man. He's had enough. Her razing of King's Landing was the final straw. She knows he freed Jaime and so has him taken prisoner and locked up. To no doubt be burned like Varys was.

She turns to Jon Snow and looks at him like he's dogshit on her shoe. Her victory has just left a sour taste in her mouth. Then Jon realises Arya is beside him. He assumed she was in Winterfell. She's bloodied and bruised but she's alive and she warns Jon that Sansa will never accept Daenerys as a Queen of the north.

She also warns Jon that Daenerys will always see him as a threat to her leadership. Arya knows people and can spot a killer from a mile away. Jon is warned to be very wary. Listen to her!!

Jon visits Tyrion in his cell and finds a man very accepting of his impending doom. Tyrion pleads with Jon to accept his fate as the next in line to the Throne but gullible Jon stubbornly sticks with his view that Daenerys is queen.He's troubled though and radiating the sense that he's not quite sure what he believes.

Tyrion asks Jon would he have done the same thing had he been on a dragon above King's Landing. He says he doesn't know but we all do. He would have done the right thing. Tyrion's words are clawing their way into his brain. Let's hope he doesn't ignore them.

Daenerys has found the throne room. She's finally here. She's finally going to sit in the chair she's been aiming towards all her life. A chair she does not deserve. A chair stained by the spilled blood of thousands of innocents.

Jon finds her in there after he passes by Drogon waiting for her below. The dragon lets him pass when he recognises Jon. He can smell the Targaryen blood pumping in his veins.

Oddly she's pleased to see Jon this time. Maybe the buzz of the throne room has changed her temperament. Maybe she's thinking of the vision she once had of this room in the House of the Undying all the way back in season 2. Whatever it is she's a content looking lady.

Jon pleads with her to forgive Tyrion but she's having none of it. She's sticking to her guns. She's made up her mind to rule using fear. Jon wants her to rule using love but it's at this moment he realises that she is truly the wrong person for the job.

They kiss and he knifes her in the heart. She dies painlessly in his arms. This was his mercy to her. To let her go easily and save the 7 kingdoms from her rule. As she dies something inside him breaks that may never heal.

Drogon senses the woman who raised him is dead and flies up to find her lying in a pool of blood. An angry dragon is a sight to behold. Seeing the sword in her chest he takes out his rage on the throne of swords before him. The throne melts as he carries the body of his queen into the sky. An unharmed Jon is left to face the music.

She deserved that death. After last week there was no coming back for her and this was the best way she was going to go out.Her story had come full circle. A Targaryen leader had followed through on a promise to torch the city, just like her father had tried to do years before.

Weeks later Tyrion is freed from his captivity and brought before a meeting of the heads of Westeros's leaders. Sansa is there with Arya & Bran. Gendry represents Storm's End. Brienne of Tarth is there. Sam of the Tarley's and even freaky Robin Arryn is alongside Yara Greyjoy & Ser Davos.

Sansa wants Jon Snow freed but the Unsullied and Yara Greyjoy want his head. Tyrion mentions that only a King or Queen can decide Jon's fate. But there isn't a King or Queen anymore. Tyrion suggests Bran as king. As the son of Ned Stark he has a right. And as the Three Eyed Raven aka the repository of all knowledge he'd be a great ruler.

He's a popular pick. Everyone agrees apart from Sansa who'll give him the nod if the North can become it's own kingdom. He agrees, she gives his rule her blessing and just like that little Bran Stark becomes the new King of Westeros. Bran the broken is in charge. He'll be a benevolent leader. Westero is in for a big ol' dose of peace.

Bran's first decree is to make Tyrion the new Hand Of The King. It's a position Tyrion does not want but Bran basically blackmails him into it. A furious Greyworm is the only one who doesn't agree and so the Unsullied won't have a part to play in Westeros going forward.

Jon's punishment is to be sent back to the Night's Watch. He's heading back North. The place where he felt most at home. He's still torn over killing Daenerys but his guilt will eventually fade when he realises how many people were saved by his act of violence.

Before he leaves to head North he says goodbye to his Stark family once again. It's a bittersweet moment. They all survived but all 4 are going their separate ways. Jon to the wall. Sansa to Winterfell. Bran is staying in King's Landing and Arya has decided to head west to see what lies across the water from Westeros.

In my head they'll all meet up in the future. This won't be the last time they are all together. They'll all be ok. They'll all thrive. Each will be a success in their own way. We won't see it but it will happen.

Ser Brienne's first act as the new head of the King's Guard is to record Jaime Lannister's memory into the city scrolls. This time he'll be remembered as a hero instead of a kingslayer. It's her little way of saying thank you to the man she loved.

Bran's next act as King is to go warging and find out what happened to Drogon. If he can control him they will someday be able to use him as a force of good. To help him he has Podrick Payne, now Ser Podrick of the King's Guard. I'm so happy for Pod. He was one of the true good guys.

Tyrion's first act as the head of the small council is to fix King's Landing. He'll need help and he gets it from Brienne, Sam who's the new Grand Maester, Bronn, who has somehow become the city's master of coin and Ser Davos who's the new master of ships. I have no doubt that together they'll get shit done. It will get messy of course!

As Arya sets sail west, Jon arrives at Castle Black to the reunited with his friend Tormund Giantsbane and his direwolf Ghost. In the meanwhile Sansa is crowned Queen of the North and you can see she's going to be a very popular leader. She's truly earned her title. I'm delighted for her.

In the final scene we see Jon and Tormund leading a massive group of Wildlings beyond the wall. Once again he's abandoning the Night's Watch. As they march out we see plants sprouting from the snow. Winter is coming to an end and Jon is back where he belongs. He's going to live a long and happy life with the free folk.

Fade to black.

I loved this finale. A lot more low key than i expected but very satisfying. Loose ends were tied up and everyone ended up where they belonged. It felt right. Things felt earned. So long Game Of Thrones. We'll probably never see a show like you again.

Series 1 - 1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10

Series 2 - 1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10

Series 3 - 1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10

Series 4 - 1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10

Series 5 - 1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10

Series 6 - 1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10

Series 7 - 1  2  3  4  5  6  7

Series 8 - 1  2  3  4  5

The day I went blind(ish)

Olympus Has Fallen
Seven Psychopaths
Good Vibrations
The Place Beyond The Pines

4 entertaining films. 4 very different films. 4 films I watched in one day in 4 different cinemas in Dublin.

What a day. My eyes won't agree though.

I was in the big smoke for a couple of days. Like a fool I went in March and of course it was raining. Day 1 was spent traipsing from place to place and getting soaked to the skin. Day 2 was going to be more of the same. Then I had an idea. The cinema. Of course. I'd start the next day with a movie and hopefully the rain would fuck off while I was in there. Cinema listings were looked up and yay, nice one, Olympus Has Fallen was out and was showing in Cineworld on Parnell street at 10am. The earliest you'd get to see it in Limerick was 2pm. This suited me right down to the ground. I was staying in Blooms hotel near Templebar so the cinema was only a brisk 10 minute walk away. I went in expecting the place to be dead but it was buzzing. Seems no-one can turn down a bloody action flick even if it's for breakfast.

The film was over. It was great craic. It was still raining. A quick legger down O'Connell street ensued. Halfway down a poster outside the Savoy cinema caught my eye. Seven Psychopaths was on. I'd missed it on its run in Limerick but 3 months after its release it was still showing in Dublin. Nice one. After a minute of umming and awing i bought my ticket and sat down to another surprisingly packed screening. There's a nice buzz in the Savoy. One that's missing from the soulless multiplexes you usually get. It's a pity that in the 5 years since I was first there it's changed so much. €€€€€ talks I suppose. Anyways Seven Psychopaths was ok, a fun watch but not a patch on the director's previous film, In Bruges. Emerging onto O'Connell street i was dismayed to see rain still spilling from the sky.

So i had another idea. Cinema listings were once again pulled up on my phone. The Lighthouse cinema in Smithfield was showing the Irish film Good Vibrations and it was only a 5 minute Luas ride from where I was standing. Would my eyes hold up to a triple bill? Did I care? Nope. To the Lighthouse! I'd wanted to see it since it had opening only a while before and now was my chance. The place didn't disappoint. Another cinema with a totally different atmosphere than before. Good Vibrations rocked but jesus I was starting to feel the effects of 6 hours of screentime now. I needed a break. And a pint.

The river was crossed so I could make my pilgrimage to the Sound Cellar music shop on Nassau street. But first I made a pit stop at the Palace bar just off Westmoreland. There's a beautiful pint of plain in there. The kind that tastes like another and another. As I dug in I realised I was only spitting distance from the Irish film Institute. Surely  4 films in one day wasn't doable was it......

30 minutes later the IFCO classification card for The Place Beyond The Pines was on the big screen in front of me. The cosiness of screen 2 in the IFI was keeping me warm and putting me to sleep at the same time. The film was good but I wasn't. 8hrs of movies and one pint had me killed. I wobbled out the door of the cinema and up the road to my bed.

It was a good day. One I must repeat soon.

Game Of Thrones S08E05 - The Bells

Varys is scrawling down everything he knows about Jon Snow after finding out about it all from Tyrion. He wants to back Jon but admitting this publicly to anyone but Tyrion will get him killed. From a little bird of his he finds out Daenerys is still grieving for Missandei and Rhaegar. It's here we realise he plans to poison her. Eek.

Jon finally arrives at Dragonstone and informs Varys that the Northern army is close to King's Landing. He's worried about Daenerys. Jon senses Varys is plotting against her and Varys confirms it. All Varys cares about is the right leader on the Iron throne and he's afraid she'll burn King's Landing to be Queen. Tyrions overhears all.

He makes his decision and rats out his best friend to Daenerys. He's backing the wrong horse. I'm very disappointed in you little man. She is too. Varys only knows Jon's truth because Tyrion told him. And Sansa told Tyrion. It's another reason for Daenerys to hate her.

Varys hears footsteps approaching his room. He knows this is it. He accepts his fate peacefully and marches before Daenerys. Out of the darkness behind her looms Drogon. And just like that one of the best supporting characters and one of the few genuinely caring people in Westeros is burned to a crisp.

A horrified Jon studies her calm demeanour and wonders how she can just murder a close advisor like that. Afterwards Daenerys and Grey Worm grieve together for a lost friend and lover. Both are crushed and both are raging. This won't end well.

Her next meeting is with Jon. She's crushed by his betrayal in telling his family of his secret. Further crushing comes when he rejects a romantic overture from her. He doesn't want to nail his aunt which is fair enough.

Everyone is turning their back on her. Everyone is leaving her. She feels no one loves her. Without love backing her claim for the Iron Throne the only thing she has left in her arsenal is fear.

While planning the attack on King's landing Tyrion pleads with her not to thrash the city. He convinces her that the people of King's Landing will surrender using the city bells when they see the power of Drogon. She relents and agrees that if she hears the bells the city will not burn.

As Tyrion walks away she informs him that Jaime was captured trying to sneak into the city. Then she tells him if he fails her again he'll go the way of Varys. As they talk the people of Westeros flood into the city walls of King's Landing. The place is packed to busting with refugee women and children.

At Daenerys war camp the Hound and Arya Stark arrive. A soldier asks as to their business. Arya says she's here for Cersei and the soldier recognises her name straight away. The word of her encounter with the Night King has travelled far and wide.

Tyrion uses his power to get in to see his brother. He knows Jaime will die if he goes back to Cersei. He begs him to find her and go on the run. He knows it's not going to happen though. This will be the last time they ever meet and they both know it. It's a truly upsetting moment. He frees Jaime and gets to be the bigger man for once.

The next morning Blackwater bay is full of Euron Greyjoy's ships. The Golden Company is ready for battle against the Unsullied outside the gates of King's Landing. The walls are lined with huge dragon killing crossbows. The defence of the City is looking powerful as Arya, The Hound and Jaime sneak through the crowds.

It's not powerful enough. Drogon with Daenerys on his back swoops out of the sky and decimates the Greyjoy fleet. Euron survives by the skin of his teeth. It's epic. The full power of the dragon is unleashed as he flies along the walls of the city and blitzes the crossbows like they are made from balsa wood.

The Golden Company vs the Unsullied looks like it's going to be a tasty fight until they are taken by surprise by dragon fire and half are wiped out instantly. Then the Unsullied mince the remaining ones. All that survives is a white horse. That was way too easy. This is all way too easy. It's all going to go wrong.

The Unsullied and the remaining Dothraki ride into the city and liquidise the King's guard and Drogon flies overhead taking down the rest of the city's defenses. A terrified Cersei watches the chaos unfold from the Red Keep with Qyburn and the Mountain. She did not expect this. She underestimated the dragon queen.

Jon and Greyworm lead the army through the city and face off with a battalion of King's Guard. They know they are defeated so drop their weapons. Then Tyrion enters the city and waits and hopes for the sound of the city bells that will signify its surrender. Daenerys lands Drogon on the walls and waits too. THE TENSION.

Then it happens. The bells chime. The relief on Jon & Tyrion's face is immense. There's no relief on Daenerys' face though. She wants blood and she's going to take it. The Dragon Queen unleashes hell. King's guard soldiers and civilians die in their 1000's. She's turned into her father, The Mad King. This is what he wanted.

Greyworm snaps and leads a massacre of the surrendered guards. It's a hideously violent moment. Heads, hands and faces are cleaved off. The "good guys" go on a murder and rape spree. The bloodlust is in the air. Jon is horrified. Meanwhile Drogon and Daenerys are an airborne genocide machine. There's no going back for her.

Jon tries to stop is happening and Greyworm is mega pissed at him. It's all too far gone now. The tide of blood can't be stopped. Men, women, children, everyone dies. Tyrion, watching from a distance is distraught. He definitely should have listened to Varys.

Finally Daenerys decides to attack the Red Keep. Cersei's time has come. Qyburn and the Mountain grab her and drag her out. On the beach below Jaime is on his way to the secret entrance she's going to use to escape. When who should he meet but a still living Euron who had the same idea. Swords are drawn.

A mighty fight kicks off. Both love Cersei and Euron is a jealous man. He's stronger too and Jaime only has one hand. Jaime manages to defeat him but only after he's mortally wounded himself. Slowly bleeding to death he sets off for the sister he loves (I know, I know) while scumbag Euron dies laughing on a rock.

The Hound & Arya have arrived at a crumbling Red Keep. The Hound saves Arya one final time by convincing her to give up on revenge and save herself. It's a lovely moment as she calls him by his given name, Sandor, for the first and last time. She leaves and he continues on to face his brother and his fate.

A roof collapse takes out most of Cersei's guards. There's only her Qyburn and the Mountain now. She commands the Mountain continue on with her but he ignores her demands. Qyburn's orders then come to nowt as his head is crushed and the scene is set for Clegane VS Clegane. Cersei discreetly shnakes away.

It's an epic fight. Two monsters facing off. Cersei's alone and terrified. Just when she thinks her goose is cooked Jaime comes to her aid. The one man who truly loved her. They embrace amongst the collapsing ruins and fire. She realises he's mortally wounded and her heart breaks for the one man she truly loved.

The Clegane brothers fight continues. It's brutal. The Mountain just won't die. The Hound knows he can't beat him. His eyes are gouged as he stabs his undead brother through the head. He then runs at him and both fall 100's of metres into the fire below. RIP Hound. It was the only way you were going to go and you went out like a champ.

On the streets a terrified Arya tries to escape. Death and destruction are everywhere as Daenerys and Drogon continue their rampage in the sky. She falls and gets trampled numerous times before she escapes. A woman drags her to safety and they hide out from the fire.

They can only stay there for so long before the walls collapse she so convinces them they will be safer running. They survive about 30 seconds before a wall of flame evaporates them.

Jon and Ser Davos order a retreat of the Unsullied, Dothraki and Northern armies. If not they'll die in the flames too. A dazed and bleeding Arya has survived by the skin of her teeth but if she doesn't get out now she'll never get out.

Jaime and Cersei are beneath the Red Keep but find their way out blocked by rubble. Their last chance is gone. This is it for them. They embrace as the keep collapses on them. The Lannister siblings die in each others arms with Cersei weeping for her unborn child.

It's all over. The assault on the city has stopped and the fires are out. The surviving white horse from the Golden company is found by Arya and she uses it to escape. She's traumatised but she's alive. And she's seriously pissed off.

An amazing hour of Television. Shocking, brutal, terrifying, amazing. 3 big storylines to to a head here. The end of the Lannister siblings, the meeting of Sandor & Gregor Clegane and Daenerys Targaryen finally giving into her demons and becoming her father. There's no going back for her now. Surely she won't end up on the Iron throne now.

Next up - The Iron Throne

Series 1 - 1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10

Series 2 - 1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10

Series 3 - 1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10

Series 4 - 1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10

Series 5 - 1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10

Series 6 - 1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10

Series 7 - 1  2  3  4  5  6  7

Series 8 - 1  2  3  4

Howlers

Canyon Creek. 1863. A town is under siege by a pack of outlaws led by a man named William Price (Tom Zembrod). A hunter named Colt (Chad Michael Collins) is out to take them down. But these are outlaws with a difference. They are lycanthropes, a pack of terrifying werewolves out for blood. Colt uses a mystical weapon to eliminate them but as part of a magical pact he made, he must give up his life now that they are gone. 156 years later he finds himself revived and confused by a modern day Texas that's about to fall prey to the same roving pack of flesheaters.

This sounds like it could be a bit of fun right? Oh no. No. NO.

Howlers is dreadful. It's the kind of release that gives DTV movies a bad name. It's inept in every single way. It's wild west set prologue is about as believable as a junior infants christmas play. The acting is off the charts bad, the kind where it seems dialogue is being read off a piece of cardboard just beyond the camera. Hideously bad production values include CGI that's dwarfed by the wavy effect we saw 30 years when Bosco went through the magic door and Werewolf masks that look like they were picked up in the local Dealz 5 minutes before the first camera rolled. Plot lines start and trail off never to be finished. A 19th century cowboy uses words that didn't even exist in his lifetime, something that 30 seconds on google could have remedied but you get the sense the people behind this weren't too big on research. There's 101 things wrong here and each of them on their own would be bad enough to cripple a movie.

The Joey Tribbiani school of acting

Annoyingly there's a trace of something good in here but it's diluted to almost nothing by the rest of the muck. Seeing a man out of time is always intriguing. His reaction to modern technology and modern society. A better movie might have done something with this but here it's touched on and then forgotten about in the rush to get to the terribly staged action. Films like this can usually be redeemed somewhat by decently shot fight scenes but here it feels like the camera operator was instructed to make things as unclear as possible to paper over the actors lack of skill. It's truly excruciating stuff. So bad that one of the lead actors just disappears at one point, never to be seen again. One imagines he realised how bad it all was and decided to cut his losses.

It's the kind of movie that would make you question your station in life, that makes you feel ashamed for both yourself and the actors involved. The only recognisable face is Sean Patrick Flannery, best known for the inexplicably popular Boondock Saints and The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles tv show. Based on the evidence here he's given up trying at all. He's trying to be hammy but he's just offal. Offal....get it.....oh forget it. Every time he opens his mouth you'll plead for the ground to swallow you. It's so bad that you just cannot stop watching. It's not bad in a fun way, at least then you'd have a reason for spend your time on it. It's bad in a watching a car crash in slow motion kinda way. You end up pinned to it just to see will it get worse. It does and it's cumulative effect will leave you feeling really crappy about yourself.

Why yes, this is a werewolf cowboy on a motorbike. Why do you ask?

I watched this because I love westerns and horrors. The thought of a film combining both always appeals to me. Sometimes it works. Grim Prairie Tales or Ravenous are two that instantly stand out. I took a chance on this and lost out big time. Now you don't have to. Do not waste your time on this trash. Luckily it's so bad that netflix won't even go near it. And that's saying a lot.

A perfect pairing of sound & vision. Cersei Lannister's revenge.

This time tomorrow Game Of Thrones will be over. There will be someone (hopefully) sitting on the Iron Throne and one of the most popular TV shows of all time will be done. Quibbles about the final series aside it's been a magnificent ride. One packed full of superb visuals and brilliantly composed music.

The scene below is a perfect example of the series creators skills at putting sound and picture together as the scale of Cersei Lannister's revenge on those who wronged her is revealed. To set the scene, the High Sparrow is the leader of a group of religious fundamentalists called the Faith Militant. Cersei Lannster is to stand before him and face trial for crimes she's committed but she has no intention of being judged before a crowd. She has other plans. Big explodey ones.

It's a masterclass in editing and tension building. Quiet then loud. Quiet then loud. You never get a chance to catch your breath. The mounting sense of doom that Margaery Tyrell only seems to notice. The bass in the music adding to the queasy feeling in the pit of your stomach as things unfurl. The change to a Koyaanisqatsi-esque sound as Maester Pycelle meets a grisly end at the hands of Qyburn's little birds. Then it going full on Toccata & Fugue in D minor as Lancel Lannister gets stabbed by the child he's chasing and the full extent of Cersei's plans become apparent. The way that it builds to a crescendo that can only end one way. Epic music for an epic scene

Previous pairings 

Apocalypse Now
Blade
Big
Miller's Crossing
The Blues Brothers
Straight Outta Compton
The Princess Bride
American Honey
Snake In The Eagle's Shadow
On Her Majesty's Secret Service
The Untouchables
Airplane!
Dazed And Confused  
Kickboxer                                  
Grosse Point Blank
Mean Streets
Watership Down
Casablanca
Zodiac
Jackie Brown
The Good, The Bad And The Ugly
Deliverance
The Omen
Copland
Buffy The Vampire Slayer
The Mission
Before Sunset
Carlito's Way
A Knight's Tale
Platoon
Before Sunrise
Rushmore
An American Werewolf In London
Dazed And Confused
Boogie Nights
Raging Bull
Almost Famous
Once Upon A Time In The West
Goodfellas

Last Of The Mohicans