We open on Arya in the house of black and white. She's dealing with the dead now, preparing them for burial. She's moved on from sweeping. Westeros promotions are weird.
One great thing about Arya is she puts her heart and soul into everything she does. She has no idea whats the story with this place yet but she does things without question. Until she gets nosy and incurs the anger of the other girl in the building.
This other girl has been around Jaqen Hagar too much. Everything she says is enigmatic. She's quite similar to Arya in her upbringing but she's been in training longer. She tells Arya to move on in her training that the ability to lie convincingly is vital.
Jaqen wakes Arya from her sleep to test her ability to lie. She doesn't do well. He can tell everytime she lies and hits her. She mentions The Hound and says she hated him. Jaqen knows that's a lie. Arya is adamant she hated him but somewhere deep inside she obviously developed some form of feeling for him.
Her next lie is about wanting to be a faceless man. Jaqen is disappointed in her. Not for lying to him, but for lying to herself.
On the way to Meereen Jorah Mormont is starting to worry. His greyscale infection is taking hold much faster than he expected and Tyrion is wrecking his head with all of his moaning. He's in no mood for his bullshit.
Tyrion tells him he's on the run for killing his father Tywin. And while they are on the subject of father's Tyrion mentions having met Jorah's father Jeor when he was at the wall. He expresses his regret at his passing.
His death is news to Jorah and the manner of his passing upsets him greatly. He hadn't seen him in a long time but he still loved his pop. Poor aul Jorah, he's having a pure shite time of it lately.
Back in Braavos Arya gets to perform an act of mercy on a young girl in the temple.The girl is in constant agony and welcomes the prospect of death like an old friend. It seems Arya's gift is death whether it be violent or gentle. She helps the girl drink the poison water from the well and she passes away peacefully.
Later Jaqen brings her below the temple to a room where the faces of all who die there are stored. So this is how Jaqen is a man of many faces. He tells Arya she's not ready to be no-one yet but she's on her way.
On their walk towards Meereen Tyrion questions Jorah's loyalty towards Daenerys even though she gave him the flick. Seeing her emerge from the flames of Khal Drogo's funeral pyre unharmed was enough to make him a believer.
Tyrion being a skeptic questions her suitabilty to rule Westeros. Why does she deserve it. How will she rule a country she's never lived in? Is she not mad from all her family inbreeding like her father was. The questions continue until both of them get surprised by a gang of pirates and end up in chains.
Jorah takes an awful beating. They decide to make him a slave because of his ability to withstand suffering. Tyrion is deemed useless. Apart from his knob. A dwarf knob is supposedly magical and worth a lot. Unsurprisingly Tyrion freaks and tries to talk his way out of trouble. It works. "The dwarf lives until we find a cock merchant." What a line!
The pirates are on their way to Meereen coincidentally. They talk of the fighting pits being reopened. Tyrion sees this as a chance to survive. He bigs up Jorah's fighting skills. Jorah doesn't deny his skills. He offers to prove his worth in the pits. The pirates see €€€€€€.
In King's Landing the Faith Militant have a bone to pick with Littlefinger (ugh) about his brothels. He's not worried. Cersei is worried about where his loyalties lie though. His dealings with the Boltons have her worried. He informs her Sansa is alive and set to marry Ramsay Bolton. This really enrages her.
He then tells her of the impending Stannis Baratheon attack on Winterfell. He promises his Vale army will march on Winterfell after the battle and destroy what's left over. For this he asks one thing. To be made warden of the north. Cersei agrees. This chap is so deeply snakey. Playing everyone against each other and sitting back to watch.
In Dorne Myrcella Lannister is loving her life not realising she's in danger from Ellaria Sand and her Sand Snakes. Her fiance Trystane can't wait to marry her but his father Doran isn't happy about the alliance.
Jaime and Bronn are disguised as Dornish guards and infiltrate the Dorne palace gardens at the same time as the Sand Snakes set out to kidnap Myrcella. They find Myrcella and go to take her home when the Snakes attack.
An embarrassingly awful fight scene occurs. The Sand Snakes are fucking awful. Thankfully the palace guards intervene before the scene can get anymore shameful. All are captured including Ellaria Sand. Thank christ that's over. The first truly shoddy moment of the entire series.
Thankfully one of the shows best character's returns to wash away the awful taste of that last scene. Olenna Tyrell has returned to King's Landing to free her grandson Loras from his cell.
She eases Margaery's mind and tells her Loras will be free soon. Cersei informs Olenna Cersei is behind it all. Olenna will now have a word in Cersei's ear. This will be good.
Shes pissed off and has no problem letting Cersei know it. She warns Cersei that this nonsense could put a big kink in the Lannister Tyrell alliance. Cersei isn't one bit bothered and denies having anything to do with Loras. She points Olenna towards the Faith Militant.
There's an inquest to prove Loras is gay, a crime in the eyes of the High Sparrow and the Faith Militant. He denies it, his sister Margaery denies it. His lover Olyvar is brought in to testify against him.
More betrayal. Olyvar describes Loras's body and Loras freaks out and attacks him. This is proof enough for the High Sparrow. Loras's trial will go ahead. Margaery will be on trial too for lying. She pleads with Tommen to stop all of this but Tommen is a little wimp and won't go against the High Sparrow or his mother.
In Winterfell Sansa's marriage to Ramsay Bolton is fast approaching. She looks terrified. Myranda turns up to draw her bath and have her clean for her new husband. This girl is septic. I hate her almost as much as Ramsay.
Myranda tells Sansa about Ramsay's former lover. The girl he and Myranda hunted and killed for sport. Her intimidation won't work on Sansa. Her knowing smile says otherwise.
Theon turns up to Sansa's room to bring her to the Wedding place. He asks Sansa to take his arm. She won't touch him as she blames him for her brothers deaths. Theon pleads with her telling her Ramsay will punish him. She couldn't care less.
Sansa and Ramsay are wed in the Godswood, the place where Ned Stark used to go to prayer. It's a surprisingly elegant ceremony that's performed by Ramsay's father Roose. Ramsay looks like butter wouldn't melt in his mouth.
Afterwards they return to Ramsay's chamber. Sansa is concerned. She's going to lose her virginity to the son of the man who killed her brother. Ramsay is curious as to why she never consummated her marriage to Tyrion Lannister. She's mortified and her shame is made worse by the fact Theon is in the room too, having been ordered to stay by his master.
Then it gets even worse when Ramsay strips her and rapes her while Theon is made look at the ordeal. A brutal moment. So hard to watch.
A tough episode to sit through. The ending was beyond horrific and the Dorne stuff is just embarrassing. The Tyrion/Jorah stuff feels like padding too and the whole Kings Landing story is just filling time. None of it has to do with the overall arc. Probably the worst episode since S2. Next please.
Next up - The Gift
Series 1 - 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Series 2 - 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Series 3 - 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Series 4 - 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Series 5 - 1 2 3 4 5
No comments:
Post a Comment