An unfortunate fisherman steps off his boat right into a punch in the mush. The puncher is Jorah Mormont. He's kidnapped Tyrion Lannister and wants to get the hell out of dodge and now he has a stolen boat to do it with.
Tyrion is loaded on board. He's understandably terrified. There's a bounty on his head from Cersei and he no doubt assumes he's on the way to King's Landing.
Jaime meanwhile is at sea too. He's on his way to Dorne with Bronn to rescue his daughter Myrcella. They're on a merchant ship to keep suspicions low.
Bronn's been to Dorne before and knows they are in for a shite time there. The Dornish are mad for a scrap. Rescuing Myrcella won't be easy at all. Jaime tells Bronn she's his niece but Bronn has heard all the juicy rumours about the Lannisters.
In King's Landing Cersei is finding out exactly how much the Lannister's are in debt. Her father kept it all hidden from her. The Iron bank of Braavos is calling in it's debts and the Lannister's can't even pay 10% of what they owe.
Mace Tyrell, the money man of King's Landing and Margaery's father is to be sent to Braavos to negotiate with the bank. Ser Meryn Trant is to travel with him to protect him. Ser Meryn has a little enemy in Braavos too. I wonder will they meet up?
Cersei meets with the High Sparrow. She wants him to restore the Faith Militant. A religious order to crack down on the supposed sin rampant in King's Landing. Homosexuality will be banned and brothels will be shut.
The religious headers trash pubs, destroy false idols, shut down whorehouses, including Littlefinger's (ugh) one and arrest Loras Tyrell for being gay.
Margaery is raging at her brother's arrest and runs to king Tommen. Tommen faces Cersei who tells him to go directly to the High Sparrow to plead Loras' case. Before he can get to him the Faith Militant basically tell him to fuck off.
The Kings guard soldiers offer to mince the Faith Militant there and then. Tommen is too afraid to spell blood on the streets and retreats. Margaery is disappointed with his cowardice and decides to inform Olenna Tyrell of Loras' situation.
At the wall Stannis is still knocking around and still ticked off that Jon Snow isn't joining him. His wife Selyse is ticked off she didn't give him a son, only, in her eyes, a deformed child in the shape of friendly Shireen. Melisandre defends Shireen and it's obvious she has plans for her.
Castle Black is desperately undermanned and under financed so Jon Snow has to send out letters to the lords of the North asking for help. He's not happy about it. And asking Roose Bolton for help is really sticking in his craw. Roose killed his half brother Robb but the Night's Watch is neutral and feelings can't get in the way. The letter is sent.
Melisandre, on Stannis' behalf tries one last time to get Jon Snow to join their cause. Nope. The wall is his home now. She plays on Jon's emotions by conjuring memories of Winterfell in his head.
Then she strips in front of him *GRATUITOUS NUDITY KLAXON* to get him to change his mind. No go. She might be dead but Ygritte is still the only one for Jon. Fair play Jon. Not many men would turn her down.
As she walks away she says "You know nothing Jon Snow." Ygritte's old catchphrase. It hits him like a ton of bricks. And this time it has multiple meanings.
Stannis is visited by his daughter Shireen. She knows her mother doesn't like her and asks Stannis does he feel the same. It's obvious he loves her but doesn't know how to show it.
Sansa is trying to make herself feel at home in Winterfell. She lights a candle for her fallen family members including Arya who everyone assumes is dead. Littlefinger arrives and they talk about some family history.
Including her Aunt Lyanna. Ned Stark's sister. The true love of Robert Baratheon's life. About how she was captured by Rhaegar Targaryen, a move that kicked off Robert Baratheon's rebellion.
Littlefinger informs her Stannis Baratheon will be making his move on Winterfell soon. He thinks Stannis will no doubt win and if he does he'll appoint her as Warden of the North because as far as they know she's the last surviving Stark.
However if he doesn't win, Sansa will have to marry Ramsay Bolton and she'll have to learn to control him. A task easier said than done.
At Dorne Jaime and Bronn sneak ashore. Instantly they are spotted by Dornish guards and have to fight. Bronn does well as usual and Jaime struggles, but manages to grab an enemy sword with his metal hand and turn the tables. Finally his skills are coming back to him.
Ellaria Sand, widow of Oberyn Martell arrives at a beach camp in Dorne. There's 3 women there, Oberyn's daughters, the Sand Snakes. They all want revenge on the Lannister's and the captain of the ship who just delivered Jaime and Bronn has let it be known they are in Dorne on a rescue mission. You can't trust anyone.
Oh jesus these Sand Snakes are dreadful already. They're about as intimidating as a wet tissue. If this is all Bronn & Jaime are against they'll be flying.
Jorah and Tyrion are still at sea. Tyrion is pleased when he realises he's not being taken to Cersei. He realises his kidnapper is Jorah Mormont, ex Baratheon spy.
He wonders why Daenerys gave him the flick. Tyrion becomes so annoying that Jorah regrets his decision straight away. Tyrion gets a smack in the mush for his troubles. I'm not a fan of Tyrion being hit. Don't do that again Jorah.
In Meereen Daenerys finds herself with a bit of rare spare time. Ser Barristan Selmy regales her with tales of her older brother Rhaegar. Rhaegar sounds like a decent fellow. A man of the people. This is the second time in this episode he's been brought up. Hmmm.
Hizdahr zo Loraq appears, the fellow who wanted to reopen the fighting pits in Meereen. He states his request to her again while Selmy goes on patrol in the streets. His argument is that allowing the fights again will help maintain the status quo and the peace. He makes a compelling argument in fairness.
As they talk, the Sons of the Harpy are preparing an attack. A group of civilians are butchered in the streets randomly. What the hell is going on? Oh wait, it's a ruse to get the Unsullied to respond.
And respond they do. Led by Greyworm they attack. They are outnumbered and get cut down bloodily. More and more Harpy's attack. Greyworn fights vainly but soon he's wounded and in trouble. Selmy hears the alarms and joins the fray.
Greyworm is surrounded. Selmy takes on a load of Harpy's and destroys them as an ex King's Guard man would but gets stabbed in the process. Just as he's about to be decapitated Grey Worm returns the favour and saves him. They collapse amongst all the Harpy bodies. Both are very close to death. Shit.
Yes please. A cracker of an episode and finally things are happening in Daenerys storyline. The mention of Rhaegar Targaryen is intriguing too. Time to build up that lovely back story. The Dorne stuff though, i've a feeling that's just going to be bad.
Next up - Kill the Boy
Series 1 - 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Series 2 - 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Series 3 - 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Series 4 - 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Series 5 - 1 2 3
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